💥 Trainwreck Gloria Tesch / Sofia Nova - Author of the Maradonia series turned Republithot

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Well not with that kind of attitude he won't.

The only question will be will they release it genuinely or pull a Tommy Wiseau and claim that it was always meant as a B-movie.
At least Tommy is lovable and can pull that off fairly well, the Tesch's just want the fame without having to put in the effort and aren't willing to admit that their shit stinks. I feel like they'll try to market as the best thing ever, being bad simply isn't an option for Glo-Glo if she wants to be rich and famous.
 
How did it cost them that much?
Everything we've seen looks like they got a handful of film school rejected to act and film it, used public domain clips and graphics, and used some free program to edit it together.

http://www.tvovermind.com/movies/15-great-low-budget-movies-made-relative-killing

What did they spend $800,000 on? Blow?
Making movies, even amateurish ones, costs MONEY. Far more money then you'd guess at first sight:
  • Transport to and from the locations.
  • Props, costumes, makeup artists etc.
  • Paying companies to design sets, move rocks, etc. In one of the "making of" videos we saw some guy moving bolders around with a machine. This guy wants to see some bucks on his bank account for his endeavours.
  • Catering, possibly some medical personell on the set, illuminators, electricians, technicians, etc.
  • Sound recording, a studio for post-processing of the soundtrack, a composer (though probably no orchestra, the Maradonia music sounds rather synthesizer-like).
  • Cutting and editing the film, digital editing, special effects.
  • Pyrotechnics (which in turn probably also require some firefighters on the set in case something goes wrong).
  • Animal trainers and animals (dat albino snake).
  • Of course, paying the actors, even if they're ghetto lowlifes without acting experience -- they'll want to see some money.
  • etc.

Even Birdemic, one of the cheapest movies ever made, clocked in at US$ 10.000, and Maradonia, while still incredibly shitty, had markedly higher production values.
 
Even Birdemic, one of the cheapest movies ever made, clocked in at US$ 10.000, and Maradonia, while still incredibly shitty, had markedly higher production values.

Primer cost $7,000 to make and is considered a modern classic.

Of course, an attempt at an "epic" of whatever sort is going to be expensive, even if you end up with crap like this.

This is why amateurs should usually not make movies, but if they do, should do it as cheaply as possible.
 
Primer cost $7,000 to make and is considered a modern classic.

Of course, an attempt at an "epic" of whatever sort is going to be expensive, even if you end up with crap like this.

This is why amateurs should usually not make movies, but if they do, should do it as cheaply as possible.
Yes, the thing is, Günter didn't try to make a low-budget movie. He wanted to burst into the league of "Lord of the Rings" and "Narnia", thus completely overstretching the budget and capabilities of low-end movie-making.
 
Monsturd was made by people who all knew what they were doing and all worked for free they had a free camera. It looks like shit and is hard to watch in one sitting. It still cost them 3000
 
How did it cost them that much?
Everything we've seen looks like they got a handful of film school rejected to act and film it, used public domain clips and graphics, and used some free program to edit it together.

http://www.tvovermind.com/movies/15-great-low-budget-movies-made-relative-killing

What did they spend $800,000 on? Blow?
"The Room" by Tommy Wiseau cost $6 million to make.

Part of that was Tommy bought things instead of renting them and building stuff that didn't need to be built. Most filmmakers will rent cameras and use or scrounge what they can before renting or buying things. Tommy on the other hand just bought stuff including installing a working toilet on the set that only he was able to use. Of course a lot of people used it when he wasn't looking but that's another story.

When you don't know what you're doing and you go for custom built instead of renting what you can, it's going to cost more. On the other hand I'm betting that a lot of the $800K they spent on "Maradonia" went directly to the Tesches.
 
The big variable in trying to guess an indie movie's budget just from watching it is that a con man producer can get huge amounts of work done for free by wannabes: people just trying to get IMDB credits or samples of work for their reels, or people with no professional aspirations, but who want the "glamour" and bragging value of telling everyone they're "making a movie." Producers often con people into working free by promising a piece of "the back end."

Gunter was throwing around the $800,000 figure at the Los Angeles Film Market, but was willing to sell for $80,000. Watch the long trailer: these aren't professional actors with SAG cards, they're friends and family and maybe some local amateurs. Gunter could have easily done his own music, conned some aspiring editor and camera people to work years on end. It's really hard to know, but the scale and logistics make me guess at minimum tens of thousands. Could be much more if he actually paid people, or much less if he's a cleverer con man than I think he is.

The other question is whether he got investors. A common con is to raise a much more money than you spend on the movie, then pocket the difference. Are there dentists where Gunter lives who would love to be dentist/producers? Pretty likely. A friend doing a $150,000 horror film got $50,000 of that from a nerdy computer hundred-thousandaire who never read the script and had only one question: would there be a premiere where he could bring a date to walk "the red carpet?"
 
There's no way he knows what the budget actually was, 800,000 is a joke, there's no post processing, no sound mix, all the effects are free video copilot crap. It's all friends and scamming, the dwarf maybe got 60 bucks for the day and wore the clothes he showed up in. Maybe they spent a few hundred on costumes and props. I'd place this at maybe 2k - 10k if he fed people lunch and had to buy some sd cards.

The 800k number is likely a tax dodge they can carry over for a few years.
 
A friend doing a $150,000 horror film got $50,000 of that from a nerdy computer hundred-thousandaire who never read the script and had only one question: would there be a premiere where he could bring a date to walk "the red carpet?"

Hell, I invested $100 in this movie because I thought it had the coolest title I'd ever heard. (Unfortunately, the producer/director died before it was completed, so it may never be released.)

And speaking of deceased Grade-Z filmmakers: I can't help but think that the Tesches could have taken a hint from legendary schlockmeister Andy Milligan, who saved on production costs by being the combined director, cinematographer, screenwriter, cameraman, set-designer, and costume-designer on all of his 20-odd (accent on the "odd") flicks. Milligan himself was a massive lolcow; Jimmy McDonough's biography of him, The Ghastly One, is hilarious, appalling, and fascinating.
 
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Who wants to bet how long this engagement/marriage lasts? Will this affect the future of the Maradonia books/movies and Goldilocks records as Glo Glo becomes a housewife and loses all drive to do anything?
 
If he's happy and she's happy and they get married and she stops writing and acting and rapping, we'll have definite proof that Earth is protected by a loving and compassionate God.
 
Gloria's just turned 22, her life's barely starting. That's kind of young to be getting married to ... how old is this guy? How long have they even known each other? Wasn't Gloria dating someone different just a few months ago?
Well, I do hope they'll be happy ...
 
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