💥 Trainwreck Gloria Tesch / Sofia Nova - Author of the Maradonia series turned Republithot

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glutenfreebooty said:
I'm a Florida kiwi, but I'm a solid five and a half hours away from Tampa.
Can one of the Florida fam come through?

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Gloria, I'm gonna need you to put some more effort into stealing photos.
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You know, I can understand a fib or two, I can. I'm human, after all, and am err to telling tales as much as anyone else. Thing is, in those rare occasions that I do tell a lie, I generally like to cover my tracks. How has she not understood by now that her theft is easily traced back to its source?
 
It's $400-600 to rent a room at a theater for one night at a multiplex in the Boston area, so I bet it's less in Florida. We are not talking a lavish outlay here.
 
fPawy.jpg


So I saw this roll up on my instagram today, and my first thought was, "wow, Glo Glo has really big hands". But then I noticed...her neck is awful big too...and her collar bone....

Kids, that isn't her body. She photo-shopped her face onto another woman's body.

What more proof? Photo girl has a birth mark on her tit. Gloria does not.

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That's weird Gloria. Normal people don't photoshop their heads onto other peoples bodies.
 
littlebiscuits said:
fPawy.jpg


So I saw this roll up on my instagram today, and my first thought was, "wow, Glo Glo has really big hands". But then I noticed...her neck is awful big too...and her collar bone....

Kids, that isn't her body. She photo-shopped her face onto another woman's body.

What more proof? Photo girl has a birth mark on her tit. Gloria does not.

VRZsk.jpg
SfMvU.jpg


That's weird Gloria. Normal people don't photoshop their heads onto other peoples bodies.
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I dunno, that seems like kind of a stretch considering the hair matches Gloria's style and dye job. Trust me, hair is a bitch to photoshop onto a pre-existing background because there's no defined edge. Look at the hairs on the left side of the photo above her hand. Those tiny wisps also carry the hue of the car seats, and considering the state of the fucking movie poster I can guarantee that no one on Team Tesch is competent enough with photoshop to pull off that kind of detail.

HOWEVER, the image is definitely shopped albeit to a more reasonable extent. The skin on her chest is the most noticeable. Look at the darker curve above her left boob. It's an obvious attempt to make her breasts appear fuller, and it's a similar shade to that "birthmark" (which I bet was just a stray mark left by the brush). And just look at that gradient creating a harsh white glare at the bottom of the photo.
 
Muscle Bra said:
Okay, folks, this is pretty much our last chance here. Do we have any Kiwis in or around Tampa who are up for a night of fun and frivolity with the Family Tesch? Photo ops with a known lolcow and the opportunity to scalp Maradonia DVDs to spergs?

Anyone? Anyone?

Bueller?
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If anyone does go and manages to snap up a copy, then I immediately propose that it gets played at a Kiwi Movie Night. This is not a request, this is a demand!
 
Has anyone else noticed that the only time the Uberman posts on Glo-Glo's Instagram is when she makes one of her "Alex and I are so totes in luv!" posts?

On those posts, he always seems to be able to jump in before Glo-Glo's legion of ass-patters but he is mysteriously absent from such important occasions as her movie premiere (even though it's technically the second public showing) and her birthday. Why no "Much Happy Birthdays to you, my little bottle of vodka. Am still loving you more than American tacos."?
 
Muscle Bra said:
Has anyone else noticed that the only time the Uberman posts on Glo-Glo's Instagram is when she makes one of her "Alex and I are so totes in luv!" posts?

On those posts, he always seems to be able to jump in before Glo-Glo's legion of ass-patters but he is mysteriously absent from such important occasions as her movie premiere (even though it's technically the second public showing) and her birthday. Why no "Much Happy Birthdays to you, my little bottle of vodka. Am still loving you more than American tacos."?
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I hadn't noticed that until you brought it up. Very interesting!
 
Muscle Bra said:
Has anyone else noticed that the only time the Uberman posts on Glo-Glo's Instagram is when she makes one of her "Alex and I are so totes in luv!" posts?

On those posts, he always seems to be able to jump in before Glo-Glo's legion of ass-patters but he is mysteriously absent from such important occasions as her movie premiere (even though it's technically the second public showing) and her birthday. Why no "Much Happy Birthdays to you, my little bottle of vodka. Am still loving you more than American tacos."?
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Also odd that he isn't in any of the pictures from the screening or Glo Glos B-day. You'd think that someone who's madly in love with a girl would show up to the culmination of her life's work or the celebration of her growing a year older. Might have been too busy picking up a fare, huh?
 
Chan the Wizard said:
There's no way that isn't a stolen image.
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It didn't turn up anything on TinEye or Google Images, so it's safe to assume it's actually one she took.

Alright, so I'm willing to throw down for a copy of the movie when/if it eventually goes up for sale, because these three years of following Glo Worm have built up a lot of indefatigable confusion suspense.
 
Dude. ..what would she even do with them? Have them wade around their shithole of a swimming pool? Even by lolcow standards this is fucking dumb.
 
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