🐱 Genital Matchmaking

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CatParty


They’re made for each other.

While most people practice social distancing, one plastic surgeon is bringing isolated lovers closer together by enhancing couples’ nether regions for the “perfect fit.” And lovesick pairs are apparently clamoring to undergo the “genital matchmaking” procedure, reported the Daily Mail.

The friction produced by “well-fitting” genitals is proven to increase the chances of orgasm, according to Dr. Lucy Glancey, whose eponymous clinics in the UK specialize in everything from laser hair removal to “designer vaginas.”

The Glancey Medical Associates founder said that “men who frequently masturbate find it difficult to climax during intercourse with a woman” because their hand is more of a “perfect fit” than their partner’s vagina.

To help, Glancey said, she can increase men’s penis girth with filler or even fat from their own body. Female counterparts also can undergo a “combination of a nonsurgical vaginal tightening and surgical labiaplasty” (think lip reduction and fillers but for down under), according to Glancey, who assesses each couple individually to ensure the ideal match.




Unfortunately, women’s vaginas relax as they age, especially after giving birth, the makeover maven said. Glancey’s solution circumvents this problem by improving “vaginal laxity” and preventing a “protruding labia getting in the way,” she said. In turn, both parties can experience rapture in the sack, according to the doctor.

Along with potentially improving one’s love life, the genital face-lift fills the spiritual void, Glancey said, suggesting that her treatments have saved countless marriages.

Here’s hoping it can reverse the skyrocketing divorce rates caused by the coronavirus lockdown.

“Couples now are more educated about what makes them enjoy their sex life even more,” said the cosmetic surgeon. “And one of the things they seek is that perfect fit, like a glove on your hand or a key in a keyhole.”
 
The Glancey Medical Associates founder said that “men who frequently masturbate find it difficult to climax during intercourse with a woman” because their hand is more of a “perfect fit” than their partner’s vagina.

Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men's hands. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!
 
With a term like "Genital Matchmaking," I honestly thought this was going to be an article declaring the newspeak term for dating as part of their on-going march towards erasing sex as a biological and physical attribute.
 
This seems like a great argument against having kids.
 
Or... And I know this is a wacky idea for some people... Why not build a relationship that isn't based off of sex?

That's why so many people end up divorced with 3 kids to feed. They got together based on sex, and never developed a friendship beyond that.
Don't make sex the only glue holding your sorry relationship together, because eventually one of you is gonna get fat or floppy, and that will be the end of it, and someone will get stuck making alimony payments while you're dealing with a bunch of brats and no help.
 
With a term like "Genital Matchmaking," I honestly thought this was going to be an article declaring the newspeak term for dating as part of their on-going march towards erasing sex as a biological and physical attribute.
I thought it was a dating site where you only get to see the goods, and base your decision to meet up on that. I feel like that site already exists, though.
 
Or... And I know this is a wacky idea for some people... Why not build a relationship that isn't based off of sex?

That's why so many people end up divorced with 3 kids to feed. They got together based on sex, and never developed a friendship beyond that.
Don't make sex the only glue holding your sorry relationship together, because eventually one of you is gonna get fat or floppy, and that will be the end of it, and someone will get stuck making alimony payments while you're dealing with a bunch of brats and no help.
Dipshits confuse lust for love all the time, that's the reason.
 
is surgery really necessary? your vagina gets lax after child birth because it's muscle and you need tone into shape after stretching. like seriously kegels Ben wa ball a few months can retone what you lost. Also if your fucking lazy there's creams ointments and literal drugs that forces contraction ie tightness of you can for a quick fix. All these methods are cheap and less time consuming than a vagioplasty.
 
Dipshits confuse lust for love all the time, that's the reason.

This is Very common in same sex relationships.

Gays and lesbians are often driven entirely by lust, and may hook up with a sexual partner that shares their exact interests and kinks with little variation. Then they get old and the sex is no longer fun, and they realize they're basically just living with themself, and there's no more novelty.

With straight couples you can afford to have mostly similar interests because the gender differences are great enough to keep things interesting.
But with two similar gays you often end up with two guys who are both slobs, and never do basic chores. Or they both try to do or avoid the same tasks, and create zones of resentment in the house where nothing gets done.
With lesbians you get lesbian bed death, and then they start to slowly hate each other in a form of toxic jealousy and exaggerate any tiny slights. They may go days without talking to each other because they know what the other will say.

The better option for gays is to get with a compatible opposite, so their interests can bleed into yours and vice versa, leaving lots of room for personal betterment and conversation.
 
Vagioplasty is a lazy time consuming expensive option that can be solved by literally exercising your vagina. if even then simply abstaining from sex can tighten shit too. then again the "tightness" some guys say they like really just means your not doing sex right. I eye roll literally at some men who say they want tight vaginas to take huge ungodly big dildos. sometimes if a bitch is tight that means she isn't aroused. I'm not saying being concerned about the state of one's naughty bits is a bad thing, it should be how you feel about it. not whether or not your partner wants it, but if youre legit that concerned that your willing to go under literal surgery for something that isn't impacting your health or quality of life only to keep a relationship then you need to rethink your relationship. Vagioplasty can come with some seriously fuck ups and that's even if biologically your a woman. (I've seen one too many man made clits rot right off on neovags).
 
Cavernous Vaginas are great for exploring the vast wonders of the universe.
also good storage and more options for insertion. if a penis can't surfice at least there's fisting.
the only time I recommend vagioplasty is if you are woman whose unlucky enough in the genetic lottery be born with a unnaturally small vaginal opening there's a non surgical variety of vagioplasty that's strictly dilation it's used in treatment for vagismus where the vagina is literally contracted to the point of penetration not being feasible.
 
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I'm disappointed this isn't about Indian style online dating: "I have benis. Looking for vagoo."
 
I'm impressed! Medical science now has a cure for the proverbial "throwing a hot dog down a hallway."
 
is surgery really necessary? your vagina gets lax after child birth because it's muscle and you need tone into shape after stretching. like seriously kegels Ben wa ball a few months can retone what you lost. Also if your fucking lazy there's creams ointments and literal drugs that forces contraction ie tightness of you can for a quick fix. All these methods are cheap and less time consuming than a vagioplasty.
Also, cases like these are not very common. For most women, vagina goes back to normal on its own after some time and, during that time, I'm sure most women aren't in the mood for sex anyway.

The human body is a beautiful machine: it heals and repairs itself. We've developed new technology to help it do so faster, but at the end, most of the body does it on its own. Of course, only if you take care of your body.
 
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