Hi, I have been lurking this forum for a while now. I am ESL and this is my first post so please don't be too harsh
I am FTM trans (pre-HRT/surgery, have only transitioned socially) and have identified as such for a while. Not a trender, I always wanted to be male, even as a child. But after seeing the way the world views us I fear that I will never be able to live a normal life and will never find love
I don't want to be this way but I can't imagine detransitioning and going back to living as a girl. That isn't me. I would just repress but I can't. I can't just turn off a switch in my brain and stop my gender dysphoria
I don't know what to do. There are no ethical therapists that would want to convince a trans person that they are not trans. That's basically conversion therapy
>inb4 41%
Edit: Please stop telling me to get therapy. As I said before no therapists would be willing to help me with this
Are you a lesbian? Because if not, no, you will never find love. If you are, you may find another lesbian who is willing to pretend she thinks you are a man. And another TIF is an option, you can reinforce each other’s LARP. There is a slight chance that if you are a super super cute slim little tomboy that you may be able to find a guy who is willing to pretend he thinks you’re a guy. This relationship will not last, though, because men are not about to put up with this annoyance long term. He won’t love you, though, and his friends will think the whole thing is hilarious.
If you want help from a therapist here’s what you do: show up looking like the female you are, never mention anything about trans or gender shit at all, and talk instead about your actual problems. The ones that have led you to imagine you have gender dysphoria, which doesn’t actually exist. Are you autistic? Depressed? Have a personality disorder? Severe anxiety? OCD? You have one of those, or a handful of others. There is something wrong with you, but it is not that you are a male trapped in a female body. Obsessive compulsive traits are understudied in trans cases, but may explain things like your obsessive intrusive thoughts that you have convinced yourself you cannot get rid of.
This one is hard right now, but you have to get off the internet and go outside. Since the virus, well, start by having someone who knows how block every LGBTQBBQ site out there at the router level and not tell you the password. Instead, have them write it down and give it to a friend who isn’t insane, for when you have to have it. Even if you’re a lesbian, you don’t need to be on gay sites. The last place a lesbian needs to be right now is in the LGBTQQQQQQBB community.
You have to stop thinking about this all the time because this is nothing. It is not a thing. It is nothing to think about. Gender is imaginary, and what almost everyone means by the word should properly be called “a personality.” It is very likely you do not have one other than thinking you’re trans. If you don’t have genderwoo what in the world will you think about and what in the world will you be? So you know, become more interesting, dump current hobbies and interests and replace 100% with anything else, as long as it isn’t related to gender or sexuality. If you were really a guy I’d tell you to try to get a job that keeps you outside in the sun 12-14 hours a day, but while that will improve fitness, it won’t have the transformative reset effective like it has on males.
Seventeen magazine used to advise girls to wear a rubber band around their wrists and snap it whenever they thought about eating, and to then to go brush their teeth because it makes food taste nasty. Don’t know what the gender diet equivalent would be but you could certainly try the rubber band.
