Futbol thread.

  • 🔎 If you see an alert for analytics.usips.org, this is a self-hosted system I am running as a test. It is GDPR compliant and collects no invasive information.
  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
tabela brasileirao.png

These are the standings for Brasileirão as of yesterday, after the end of the 30th round. Some brief points:

  • Once again, the title will be decided between Palmeiras and Flamengo. Meh.
  • After a very bumpy beginning, Santos managed to find their form under the guise of Cuca, multi-champion and statutory rapist.
  • Botafogo are so desperate, they hired fucking Tite. So far, it's not working.
  • Corinthians lost eight straight matches, and after firing Fernando Diniz, they hired motherfucking Clarence Seedorf as a hail mary of sorts.
  • Athletico Paranaense has been a pleasant surprise, even if they play kinda shoddy.
  • Fluminense started so-so and were an utter disappointment under Luís Zubeldía. After firing his faggot ass, they decided to keep their assistant Marcão as permanent coach, and... it worked!
  • Bahia is carrying Nordeste on its huge, City Group-supported back. I'm happy for my man Rogério Ceni, who's doing a consistently good job as their coach for the last two years or so.
  • I'm not happy with my São Paulo, though. Plagued with internal political bullshit and injuries in key pieces, it's a miracle they're not fighting off against relegation. Not even bringing back Dorival Júnior made their woes go away.
  • To top it off, there's a good chance both big teams from the South - Grêmio and Internacional - will get relegated together. Or at the very least, one of them will go down, because they've been absolute dogshit all year long.
 
UCL Round 2 review I wanna kill myself edition
(13 Oct 2026)

Lens vs Sporting CP (2-0)
Jesus fucking christ Lens's defense is DOGSHIT they cant defend a counter attack to save their lives man this could've been 3 or 4 if Sporting weren't unlucky in some chances and they (Lens) are playing at home too, fucking abysmal.

Sabah FK vs Slavia Prague (2-0)
Lmao that second goal is just pure comedy but in all seriousness this is a huge win for Sabah I thought they are gonna be rolled over during this entire campaign but they proved me wrong

Arsenal vs Lille (3-0)
>Arsenalwinslol

Atlético Madrid vs Manchester United (2-0)
I wanna kill myself

Galatasaray vs FC Barcelona (1-4)
Well its about what I expected from this match Barca dominating comfortably although that first galatasaray goal surprised me ngl but yet again its the same type of goal that barca always concede they can't defend a counter attack when they are pushing high on the field

Internazionale vs Club Brugge (3-4)
what was Inter's goalkeeper thinking in that second goal for Brugge? is he fucking retarded? he costed them the game with that decision

RB Leipzig vs PSV Eindhoven (1-0)
Great penalty save from the goal keeper and an insane goal from from Brajan Gruda nothing else to say for this match it was kinda of a snoozefest

Viking vs Bayern Munchen (3-3)
This has to be a humiliation ritual for Bayern imagine conceding early in the match in the funniest way possible TWICE IN A ROW :story: and the Olise red card and an equalizer in the 90th minute is just the cherry on top lmao
SUFFAH BAYERN SUFFAH BISH

Villareal vs Napoli (3-1)
Why did Napoli hire Allegri again? the question that still kept scientists awake at night.
 
Corinthians lost eight straight matches, and after firing Fernando Diniz, they hired motherfucking Clarence Seedorf as a hail mary of sorts.

He took the internet tacticians by storm for a short time there. Man was just a flash in the pan, huh? I guess the cooky crazy tactics only worked for so long because they were in fact retarded enough to confuse the shit out of people for a bit, or am I reading the situation with him wrong?
 
UCL round 2 review Laugh at Man City edition
(Oct 14 2026)


Feyenoord vs Como (3-2)
This game was very close Feyenoord performed very well after their abysmal showing against Barca last time in UCL where they were battered 5-1 and managed to be actually threatening going forward, as for Como they were a bit unlucky this game with their chances but my god Sanchez is a terrible goalkeeper even though he is at no fault for the 3rd goal the first and second are pretty savable.

LASK vs Liverpool (3-6)
dont let the score line fool you the fact that LASK was able to score 3 past these fags should alarm you that they are the biggest frauds in this entire tournament its just a matter of time until they get exposed

Aston Villa vs Fenerbahçe (6-0)
Demolition Job
SUFFAH MASON GREENWOOD SUFFAH BISH

:diddler:

Bodø/Glimt vs Dortmund (1-0)
There are many things in life that are inevitable War, Death, Taxes and Dortmund getting humiliated

Manchester City vs PSG (2-4)
FUCKINNGGG LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH LOOK AT DONNERUMA LMAOOOOO ENJOY LEAGUE 4 NEXT SEASON YOU CHEATING FAGGOTS



Antony and friends aka Real Betis vs FC Porto (3-2)
Ma boi Antony got an assist in this match nothing else matters

AS Roma vs Real Madrid
>start Vinicius
>start losing 3-1
>sub him out
>win 3-4

Mourinho you fucking genius
At this point if you kill Vinicius during the game it might be a net positive for the whole team


Shakhtar Donetsk vs AEK Athens (3-1)
Boring game ngl I didn't pay any amount of attention to it

Slovan Bratislava vs VfB Stuttgart (0-3)
did this game even exist?????
 
Manchester City vs PSG (2-4)
FUCKINNGGG LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH LOOK AT DONNERUMA LMAOOOOO ENJOY LEAGUE 4 NEXT SEASON YOU CHEATING FAGGOTS
Imagine being so terrible you make PSG the good guys
AS Roma vs Real Madrid
>start Vinicius
>start losing 3-1
>sub him out
>win 3-4

Mourinho you fucking genius
At this point if you kill Vinicius during the game it might be a net positive for the whole team
Should have sold Vini to Arsenal muahahahaha :P
 
Back
Top Bottom