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DSP's Tax Lawyer said:
They already have Musiala, they are resigning Leroy Sane, they still have Gnabry, and they just signed Olise. Where is Wirtz going to fit in there?
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They almost had Sané signed about two weeks ago, and then he went and got a new agent. It's turned into quite the game of chicken, where the club's not going to budge on salary. Supposedly. Honestly, their wingers have been kind of crap, with the exception of Olise who joined this year. Sonic has had his best year this year with Bayern, but that says a lot about his motivation and performance. Gnabry is in the same boat, but he's not on a free until next year.

There is obviously overlap between Witz and Moose, but the national team makes it work, so I'm assuming the FC Hollywood will be able to as well.

Supposedly the beard signing is part of the reason they decided to let let Thomas Mueller go this year, just to clear out some salary. You can say what you want about the guy, but he really is Mr. Bavaria.
 
Surprised injuries from the post arent more common, but Awoniyi seems to be in pretty bad shape after colliding with the post on sunday

Considering he's had emergency abdominal surgery and been placed in an induced coma, i wouldnt be surprised if he's ruptured his intestine
 
Speaking of injuries: This weekend it's the last matchday for both 1. and 2. Bundesliga.

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Hamburg is already relegated back to Bundesliga.

Cologne on the other hand still can get relegated - or fuck it up. They are going to face Kaiserslautern and as you can see should K'Lautern win they could at least climb on the 3rd rank - depending on how the other teams (Elversberg, Paderborn, Düsseldorf) perform; loss for Elversberg + Paderborn and only a draw for Düsseldorf.

So with that pretty important match incoming a player from Cologne, Tim Lemperle, decided to go out an party last weekend after Cologne's match. And did he party, oh boy. Dude got pretty shitfaced (2 permile as a blood test showed later), got into a slapfight with a Cologne Fan and the whole story ended with Lemperle getting smacked in the face by the fan and getting his nose broken.

At first the news were "COLOGNE PLAYER GOT VICIOUSLY ATTACKED!!!" but it soon turned out that the player was 1. shitfaced, 2. shittalked his own club in front of fans of the club he plays for and 3. allegedly was kind of creepy towards some females who attended said party.

The fan claims via his lawyer that he only acted in self defence as Lemperle was getting physical first, a lot of fans are now pissed bc of the trash talking towards his own club and the club chiefs and coach are getting critized bc they didn't outright kick Lemperle out of the squad.

Way to go, Cologne, way to go.
 
Onni Kalsarikännit said:
Speaking of injuries: This weekend it's the last matchday for both 1. and 2. Bundesliga.

View attachment 7365878

Hamburg is already relegated back to Bundesliga.

Cologne on the other hand still can get relegated - or fuck it up. They are going to face Kaiserslautern and as you can see should K'Lautern win they could at least climb on the 3rd rank - depending on how the other teams (Elversberg, Paderborn, Düsseldorf) perform; loss for Elversberg + Paderborn and only a draw for Düsseldorf.

So with that pretty important match incoming a player from Cologne, Tim Lemperle, decided to go out an party last weekend after Cologne's match. And did he party, oh boy. Dude got pretty shitfaced (2 permile as a blood test showed later), got into a slapfight with a Cologne Fan and the whole story ended with Lemperle getting smacked in the face by the fan and getting his nose broken.

At first the news were "COLOGNE PLAYER GOT VICIOUSLY ATTACKED!!!" but it soon turned out that the player was 1. shitfaced, 2. shittalked his own club in front of fans of the club he plays for and 3. allegedly was kind of creepy towards some females who attended said party.

The fan claims via his lawyer that he only acted in self defence as Lemperle was getting physical first, a lot of fans are now pissed bc of the trash talking towards his own club and the club chiefs and coach are getting critized bc they didn't outright kick Lemperle out of the squad.

Way to go, Cologne, way to go.
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*promoted. Just because they will suck in the bundesliga, its still a promotion
 
Some updates for the weekend.

Eredivisie- Things seemed pretty locked up during the season until Ajax started choking. Up a man and up 2-1 on Wednesday, Ajax gave up a goal to tie 2-2 and allow for PSV to overtake them. PSV now have 1 point going into the final week. Ajax play 6th place Twente who can't finish in a European spot while PSV play mid table Sparta Rotterdam. PSV have a far superior goal differential so tie breaker would go to PSV. This has been a pretty incredible choke job by Ajax.

La Liga- Barcelona have won the league with two games remaining. Real Madrid will finish 2nd and Atletico Madrid are guaranteed champions league. Athletic Club are also guaranteed champions league while Villarreal need 2 more points over the next 2 games either by themselves or Real Betis dropping points to get the final Champions League spot. Betis are guaranteed Europe while Celta Vigo need 3 points to guarantee Europa League. Rayo Vallecano currently hold the conference league spot on GD but Osasuna are tied on 48 with Mallorca (47) Valencia (45) and Real Sociedad (43) in the race to catch them. Alaves need 3 points to ensure safety while Espanyol and Getafe need 2 points. Leganes are the only team of the bottom 3 who might survive but Las Palmas and Valladolid are confirmed to go down. For manager of the season, I know Flick is probably going to win it but Carlos Corberan should be the one who wins it. He took over Valencia back in December when Valencia were in a relegation spot and he has dragged them up to 11th place, well within safety and 3 points off a European place with 2 games to go. Doing all that with the handicap of having probably the worst if not one of the worst owners in all of football is pretty impressive.

Liga Portugal- Sporting and Benfica are currently tied on points with Sporting having a 3 goal differential. Benfica will play 4th place Braga while Sporting will play 5th place Vitoria on the final day to decide the title. Porto need a single point to secure 3rd place while Braga are easily in 4th. Only 2 teams go down and Boavista will probably be one of those teams as they only have 24 points. However Farense and AVS both have 27 points and Estrela Amadora have 29. The relegation battle isn't really that interesting but the race for the title should be good considering both teams are tied on points and need wins but they are playing against actual good teams in Portugal on the final day.

Serie B- Now whats interesting here is that Sassuolo and Pisa (of leaning tower fame. See picture below) both got promoted and the playoff is currently ongoing for the third team to go up. But I would rather let you know that former Serie A teams Brescia, Frosinone, and Salernitana all just barely survived Serie B this time around. Who didn't survive however, was Sampdoria. Sampdoria had a new owner when they were relegated and he spent around 100 mil on new players and managers to bounce right back up. The new players also did not have any relegation clauses in their contract. So they now be relegated to the regional 3rd division and have to cut their wage bill massively. The average 3rd division wage bill is 1/8th the average wage bill of the 2nd division and Sampdoria outspent everyone in Serie B by a wide margin.

England- Tomorrow is the promotion playoff finals. Quickly just run down who is playing
Championship- Sheffield United beat Bristol City 6-0 on aggregate to face Sunderland, who survived against Coventry to win 3-2 on aggregate
League 1- Charlton beat Wycome 1-0 on aggregate to advance to the finals. They will play Leyton Orient who had to win penalties against Stockport after they tied 3-3 on aggregate.
League 2- Walsall are in the finals after beating Chesterfield 4-1 on aggregate. AFC Wimbledon have a 1-0 lead going into the second leg tomorrow against Notts county. Pretty shitty turnaround to finish that game tomorrow and play the finals on Monday.
Conference League- Barnet have secured promotion to the football league 2. This left York City, Forest Green, Rochdale, Oldham Athletic, FC Halifax Town, and Southend United to play out a promotion battle to get the second promotion spot. Oldham Athletic beat FC Halifax Town 4-0 and will face York City in the semis. Southend beat Rochdale 4-3 and will face Forest Green in the semis.

Anyways, since you all enjoyed reading about random happenings in the football world coming up towards the end of the season, enjoy this picture of the Pisa fans celebrating their promotion to Serie A

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Last matchday in 3. Bundesliga. Bielefeld and Dresden are already safe and are promoted to 2. Bundesliga but Cottbus, Saarbrücken and Rostock are fighting over #3 and a chance for promotion.

Cottbus is going to face Ingolstadt who are somewhere in the middle of the table and can't win or lose anything anymore.
Saarbrücken and Rostock on the other side are both facing teams that are already relegated to the lower leagues, the 2nd teams of Dortmund and Hannover.

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Saarbrücken made it and is going to face either Greuther Fürth, Preußen Münster or Eintracht Braunschweig from 2. Bundesliga (will be decided tomorrow).

And now the last matchday in 1. Bundesliga starts.
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FC Bayern are champions and Leverkusen is safe 2nd.

Frankfurt, Freibug and Dortmund are fighting for Champions League. Frankfurt is going to face SC Freiburg, Dortmund is going to face Kiel who are already relegated to 2. Bundesliga.

Mainz is fighting for the Euro League, while Leipzig could only reach the Conference League. Should Leipzig fail it's their first season missing international competition since being promoted.

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The fight for relegation basically is decided. Bochum and Kiel are going down.
Sure, Heidenheim could tie on points with Pauli and Hoffenheim but the goal difference is going to kill them in the end. There is no way that Heidenheim catches up 6 goals on Hoffenheim - 7 goals to move ahead.


WE DID IT, REDDIT! Frankfurt plays Champions League again!

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FC Bayern won their last match against Hoffenheim 4:0 and only missed the 100 goal mark by one lousy goal. Nevertheless Harry Kane is once again top goal scorer with 26 goals in 34 matches. Heidenheim lost 4:1 to Bremen so they don't profit from Bayern smashing Hoffenheim. St. Pauli lost to Bochum 0:2.
Basically St. Pauli was already safe before the match anyways. Despite being only 14th St. Paul has the 2nd best defence overall, mostly bc of their daredevil goalkeeper.
Heidenheim is going to play relegation in the next two weeks.
Hoffenheim plays their worst Bundesliga season ever. Which is funny bc during the season, after they kicked their coach and got Christoph Ilzer from Sturm Graz (last season's Austrian's champions) he was talking about how Hoffenheim will play for Bundesliga championship withing the next 5 years (he is totally going to be sacked soon).

Mönchengladbach vs Wolfsburg (0:1) and Augsburg vs Union Berlin (1:2) had nothing on the line for any team anymore.

Mainz was facing Leverkusen and the match ended 2:2. The VAR scratched four goals for Mainz.
Leipzig was facing Stuttgart and lost 2:3 in the end which means no international competition for Leipzig. That's the 3rd time Mainz snatches a spot for the Euro cups. Actually happy for them despite the little rivalry they have with Frankfurt.

Dortmund won their match against Kiel 3:0. Kiel was never a threat to Dortmund. Seven matchdays ago Dortmund was ranked 10th but they went on a winning streak and thus saved the CL spot. Never before in Bundesliga history made it a team from this position to CL in the end.

Frankfurt won their match against Freiburg 3:1.
Ngl but I was very dooming before the match. The last few matches didn't go well for Frankfurt and it's obvious how much impact Marmoush had. I'm not expecting great perfomances next season in the CL but that's ok, we need that sweet, sweet CL shekels and playing CL helps keeping the club being interessting for other young talents. Who knows, it might even help that Etikite stays with us although everybody expects him to leave, probably to England too.
Speaking of Marmoush, despite him leaving in the winter transfer window he still ranks among the top 10 goal getter for this season.
For Freiburg it's quite a succesful season. The first one with a new coach after the Streich era and immediately going to Europe but holy shit, look at their goal difference!

Next Thursday is the first of two relegation matches, the other one is on the following Monday.
Next weekend is DFB cup final, VfB Stuttgart against Arminia Bielefeld.
 
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Well done Crystal palace. Kept City from winning a trophy this year, which is always a good thing. Curious to see what City do in the summer with 2 transfer windows and the club world cup
 
Todays was last matchday in 2. Bundesliga.

The situtation before the matches at the top was:
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Hamburg was already safely promoted.
Cologne had sacked their coach just 2 weeks ago. They hired Friedhelm Funkel, a 71y old guy.
Elversberg was on a little streak while Paderborn had lost momentum. Düsseldorf and K'lautern only with minimal chances left. K'lautern was also facing Cologne so they were up for a fight.

The situation at the bottom was:
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Ulm and Regensburg were already relegated. Braunschweig was in the worst position bc their shitty goal difference. Although they were facing Elversberg who were still in the battle for promotion Schalke cwould have needed a massive loss to end up at rank 16 so it was all about how Braunschweig, Münster and Fürth (facing Hamburg) would perform.

How did it go?
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Cologne smashed K'lautern 4:0 while Hamburg lost to Fürth and thus gave away the championship.
Elversberg won against Schalke and thus saved the 3rd rank.

Elversberg is going to face Heidenheim for promotion to Bundesliga.

Overall that was probably the best outcome. 1. Bundesliga got two big, old clubs back with Hamburg and Cologne. We finally have a real derby again in Bundesliga now with Hamburg vs St. Pauli and Cologne has long standing rivalries with Leverkusen and Mönchengladbach.
For the league itself it doesn't really matter if Heidenheim stays or Elversberg gets promoted. Elversberg has the back-up from a local family with a huge wallet who are willingly to throw money at the club (kind of like in Hoffenheim but on a smaller scale). But they are not going too crazy with their spendings.
I'd rather have like to see Düsseldorf (derby with Cologne) or K'Lautern going up tho.

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At the bottom we got the most likely outcome. Braunschweig lost their match to Nuremberg 0:4 while Preußen Münster was able to snag a draw in Ulm and thus saving themselves.
Schalke ended up losing but their season was already fuck up anyways.
Luckily Fürth stays in 2. Bundesliga for the Fürth-Nuremberg derby, the oldest derby in Germany.


And now let's take a quick look at the our neighbours in the Netherlands and the Eredivisie:
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Arsenal Amsterdam actually bottled it in the end lol
 
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