Fix Alex's Shit Designs - Yansim art thread

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((Hopefully the image shows up, but the link for it is here: http://sta.sh/01i7u0rwaqwh))
But anyways, here's a quick redesign of Ayano. Personally I think her design is okay, but I gave her a new uniform and brown eyes (I think brown eyes would suit her more)

If you don't mind, I've also re-written her character. Her family is cursed with their first child to be born as a yandere, but each all have different personalities and such. Ayano is introverted and shy due to her mother homeschooling her during her elementary school life. She does end up attending the junior part of her secondary school life, she had no friends whilst being homeschooled. Her father ended up urging her to go to parks and such, where she met Info-chan (Akane Higashi) and became her friend. She alo met Taro at a park when she was a child, and he was the first person outside of her parents to show her kindness. That's when she fell in love with him, however he soon stopped visiting the park, which did upset Ayano until she met Akane.
She met Taro again sometime before her second year of senior high school, when a similar incident happened- she ran into him, which caused him to ask if she was okay and such. She recognised him as the boy that she was in love with for years, which sparks her to try and get rid of her competition.

I wanted to make her more yandere-like, but the thought of her being more introverted than her mother was pretty interesting to me imo.
 
Okay, more of my edits XD

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The following edits were all made before I had my tablet, so they look really crappy. The rest of the edits are plain bad, so I won't post them here because I plan to redo them at some point in the future.


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Okay, more of my edits XD

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The following edits were all made before I had my tablet, so they look really crappy. The rest of the edits are plain bad, so I won't post them here because I plan to redo them at some point in the future.


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ok cupcake what the fuck? you're making these people look like real actual humans instead of deformed hentai monsters. yandev works so hard on these designs you kiwi

keep up the great work my friend! these edits are excellent!
 
Thought I could contribute a bit, here are some of my edits, not that they're good.
Though I do think overall these are a massive improvement, your face edits remove a lot of personality and emotion that the original conveys. Yes, angry redhead is angry but the edit makes it look like the artist was too scared to really attempt someone looking angry, even if the pose helps. So now she's just going "Oh no. You meddling kids got away. Whatever shall I do." instead of "What the hell is your problem?!" I hope that makes sense.

You did mention you fucked up on the expression for the edit directly below that one so I'll refrain from commenting.
Baker girl also conveys an extremely generic expression now, whereas I do get the feeling of "made with TLC" from the original.
Also I don't think the hair antenna are a bad thing since it helps with silhouette sometimes, it's a bit nitpicky imo.
 
Personally, I think antennas should be removed if they don't contribute to the sillouette or if they are plain unecessary. For example, Megami's antenna. It doesn't follow the flow of the hair, doesn't appear in a black sillouette and doesn't even looks like hair.

Btw, I edited Osana.

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I get it that 'supposedly' Taro is ironically meant to be among the most memorable of the yansim cast. but this Kirito lookalike needs a desperate makeover to make his design suit his 'character'. Ironic that I choose to try and redeem myself after messing up the first time.
taro fixed 3.jpg
 
As a constructive criticism, I really recoomend you to train facial expressions, because that's one of the biggest flaws in kjech's art. Everyone got standard facial expressions without deeper layers that shows more of their personalities. But thing is, at least they ARE wearing an expression, and your edits makes the characters have this still expression that implies you are afraid to draw. Don't be afraid to show wrinkles, smiles, arched eyebrows!
 
Personally, I think antennas should be removed if they don't contribute to the sillouette or if they are plain unecessary. For example, Megami's antenna. It doesn't follow the flow of the hair, doesn't appear in a black sillouette and doesn't even looks like hair.

Btw, I edited Osana.

View attachment 242019

Um the "fixed" version looks like she has a girldick
 
I think if I have time I'll actually try my hand at redrawing an entire design myself, but for now here's one of kjech's new pieces, and a designdoll comparison just to show how bad the anatomy is
kizana_sunobu_by_kjech-db8j6ag.jpg
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Edit: Also why is her butt shiny?
 
I think if I have time I'll actually try my hand at redrawing an entire design myself, but for now here's one of kjech's new pieces, and a designdoll comparison just to show how bad the anatomy is
kizana_sunobu_by_kjech-db8j6ag.jpg
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Edit: Also why is her butt shiny?

is there a way of making her legs thiccer? It would be hilarious to see the chicken legs in a 3d model, because I'm pretty sure she wouldn't be able to stand properly
 
With a some of these fixes (not all), you're kind of losing the original art style. My favourite is totally the Osoro one where all the harsh lines and the horrifying lips are removed, because it still looks like the original art, just less freakish.
Some of the other art (not counting total redraws), though, is just removing features that the style lends itself to. It's a pretty generic anime style, but it's at least a recognisable way of drawing - the angular eyes and smooth lines are very distinctive, and some of the art I'd say is fine by itself (maybe minus the horrifying proportions).

TL;DR: I'm no expert, but changing that much is veering off the 'fix' step, into 'I don't like this feature of the art so I'll change it'. At least, as far as I can see.
 
With a some of these fixes (not all), you're kind of losing the original art style. My favourite is totally the Osoro one where all the harsh lines and the horrifying lips are removed, because it still looks like the original art, just less freakish.
Some of the other art (not counting total redraws), though, is just removing features that the style lends itself to. It's a pretty generic anime style, but it's at least a recognisable way of drawing - the angular eyes and smooth lines are very distinctive, and some of the art I'd say is fine by itself (maybe minus the horrifying proportions).

TL;DR: I'm no expert, but changing that much is veering off the 'fix' step, into 'I don't like this feature of the art so I'll change it'. At least, as far as I can see.

But that argument kinda leads to "It's just my artstyle!!" to justify bad anatomy, fetishes and same face syndrome, which are basically what I always try to fix on my edits. Kjech actually KNOWS how to draw good art with no sexualization or crappy ecchi vibes, and that's why the edits are so important imo. It shows that kjech could make the art truly good if Eva didn't ask him to make all the characters be hentai waifus or plain John Does all the time.
 
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