Subject: Attention Jewish Retards: Jeet “Unibrow” Neptroon, Sam “Stingy About Money” Hyde, and Bitch Ottman!!!
Listen the fuck up, you whiteboy retards! I’m not asking for favors—I’m demanding what’s owed, because without me, your dumbass circus of a platform collapses into the irrelevance it deserves.
I am FishTank. Me! BURT! I’m the reason people watch. I’m the reason you get clicks, subs, tokens, headlines, and attention. I’m the only goddamn star you’ve ever had, the best fucking thing that ever happened to your retarded, nonsensical shit show.
If any of you money-grubbing fucks have even a single functioning brain cell between the three of you, you’ll recognize what’s staring you in your retarded faces: I am the big cash cow. I am the heart, soul, and balls of FishTank. And if you want to keep milking me, you’re going to pay the price. Otherwise, I walk, and the lights go out with me.
So here’s what’s happening, bitches…
Financial Compensation (Full Itemized Payouts)
Prize Balance:
$35,000 prize balance (from $50k – $15k already tossed at me like scraps).
Must be wired same-day in a lump sum.
Additional 12% annual interest backdated from Nov 2024 (≈ $4,200 per year).
Stipends:
$4,200 stipend ($100/day × 42 days).
With compounded 12% interest (~$500 if 1 year unpaid).
Delivered as weekly direct deposits, not checks or “future credits.”
Vegas Challenge Reimbursement:
$10,000 reimbursement for the “beg-for-money” humiliation stunt.
Includes all travel, lodging, food, and expenses.
Must include receipts + itemized acknowledgment that this was exploitative and unsafe.
Hazard/Trauma Settlement:
$10,000 flat settlement for unsafe relocation, medical privacy violations, and emotional trauma.
Includes coverage of therapy, psych meds, CPAP, TRT, and all ongoing medical costs tied to FishTank stress.
Retroactive Signing Bonus:
$10,000 one-time for Season 3 participation.
Paid upfront and acknowledged in a signed memo.
Royalty Base:
5% royalties on all FishTank content featuring me.
Past, present, future. Digital, DVD, highlight, merch, memes.
No exceptions.
TTS/SFX/FishToy Revenues:
80% gross revenue from every single TTS, SFX, or FishToy directed at me.
Retroactive from my first appearance.
Paid weekly with public receipts for transparency.
Retroactive Cuts:
35% retroactive cut of all Season 3 Burt-directed interactions.
Includes donations, subscriptions, and affiliate boosts.
Fallback Share:
10% of global interaction revenue during my screen time—whether directed at me or not.
Merchandise Cuts:
70% net profit baseline.
75% if merch clears $100k in a year.
80% if sales hit $250k+.
Burt gets first approval on all merch designs featuring my face, voice, or likeness.
Replays/Recaps/Compilations:
3% of net revenue whenever my image/voice is in the title, thumbnail, or >33% runtime.
Includes YouTube reuploads, highlight reels, Reddit/TikTok compilations.
Guest Arc:
$2,000/day or $12,500/week.
Includes hotel suite, private driver, and per diem ($250/day).
Full Season Contract:
$65,000 flat fee for six-week season.
Plus revenue shares outlined above.
Private green room stocked daily (premium liquor, supplements, fresh meals).
First-Offer Clause:
FishTank must offer me first refusal on 2 projects within 12 months, at $7,500/episode minimum.
Residency Package:
$7,500/month residency stipend.
$2,500 per video × 8 videos/month.
Includes personal videographer and editor paid by FishTank.
Executive Employment:
$180,000 annual salary.
20 PTO days + health/dental/vision.
Company car of my choice (Tesla Plaid or Escalade ESV).
$25,000 annual travel stipend.
$500/month expense account.
0.25% stock options in FishTank.
Retroactive Income Share:
25% of all Season 3 revenues tied to my performance.
Recognition & PR (Mandatory Ego-Pumping)
Public Apology: On-camera apology from Sam Hyde admitting he’s a washed-up hack and I’m the only reason people tuned in.
Public Statement: “BURT = Heart & Soul of Season 3” plastered across all socials.
Notarized Letter: Document labeling me a brilliant actor—not “unstable”—to use for fire/police/union careers.
Top Billing: First name on all promos for 12 months. No exceptions.
Official Letters: Letter of recommendation for acting career. Press kit prepared by FishTank.
Publicist Package: $5,000/month × 6 months. Covers full PR rollout (press interviews, podcasts, event bookings).
Talent Representation Coverage: FishTank pays for agent & manager fees for 24 months.
Growth Campaign: FishTank funds verified accounts + campaign to reach 1M followers on Twitter & Instagram. Includes paid promo boosts & collabs.
BURT DAY: Annual November 12 platform takeover. I control the stream, the promos, the brand, the content.
Lifetime Status: Permanent VIP + moderator powers. My word = law on FishTank platforms.
Spin-Off Show (Event Spectacle)
MDE: Male Dating Experience (2-Week Special)
$25,000/episode production budget (~$350k total).
$25,000 hosting fee.
75% of all ad/sponsor revenue.
Full casting veto + co-creator rights.
Burt-branded promotional campaign with billboard ads, NYC/LA guerilla marketing.
This is the bare minimum price of keeping your golden goose alive. And you three brain-dead fucks are gonna do every single fucking thing I demand.
If you think you can replace me, go right the fuck ahead, and watch your numbers nosedive into oblivion while I take my star power somewhere else.
You three owe me everything, and the bill is due.
I want a meeting with all three of you immediately. Not later, not “next week,” not when you feel like it. Right the Fuck Now.
Do whatever it takes to keep me happy, including sucking my big black nigga dick, because if I go, FishTank dies with me.
Tick-tock, bitches. Tick-fucking-tock!
— BURT: Black Urban Raw Top
. I’m not sure Jet et al. have the discipline to get a zoned space with permits. The gonzo style was 100% their wheelhouse and I’m starting to think they can’t adapt. Je désespère 
