Fire Emblem series

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It's ugly, I know it's Viets and Han programming, but it's fucking ugly and it'd be ugly on a phone and it'd be ugly 10 years ago and it'd be ugly 20 years ago too.
It's incoherent, none of the story makes a lick of fucking sense, everyone at the monastery is so suspicious and untrustworthy and uncharismatic I legit thought they were the bad guys when the chick with big tits asked me if I hated the government and the sneaky, suspicious fucks who gave me a cushy job for no reason
It's unfinished, Black Eagles is a fucking rush job, it's awful, the writing is awful, none of it makes sense, why is anything happening, who are any of these people, why am i alive
It's retarded, literally none of the story beats work, all of the actors are bad, the art is cheap looking, the cutscenes are prerendered and 15 fps
It's not fun to do almost anything, seriously, are there any great maps? Why could they not pull off a dynamic, 3 party turn-based conflict with the Switch? They couldn't figure out how to make fog of war effects work in Fire Emblem?
There are 0 tactics whatsoever, what the fuck is even happening, concepts like unit cohesion, positioning, high ground, all get turned into an RPG big number win bullshit fest
Why is the girl frog woman wearing torn up medieval times stripper clothes--I know why really, but it's so stupid. It's so stupid. Why is it so stupid
I can normally forgive a lot of this.

No, I'm serious. I can at least respect the intent and high aspirations. A lot of these games can be ugly. Many of their stories crumble when you break them down. A lot of these games are slow and have maps that don't play out in particularly interesting ways. Many of the games turn into or just start as 1-2 range numberball spam games. I can also temper my expectations knowing that this is the KT's first crack at this genre which, by the way, these games are not, in fact, 'all the same,' which is plainly obvious just from playing the first hour of the jugdral duology, elibe duology, tellius duology, or awakening fates wombo combo (any of the three fates routes, really,) but I digress. Many of the games in this series that I greatly enjoy were built off of rocky foundations. Thracia took what worked from Genealogy and made what is still one of the most interesting games in this series. Same for Awakening and Fates. Hell, I hated Awakening so fucking much that it almost killed my interest in the series until seeing how Fates took what worked and iterated upon it. 3H gameplay (at least, the grinding your units in a dumb minigame that eats up half of the game's time) is antithetical to what I think Fire Emblem should be, but it could probably be tightened up into something pretty compelling. I also don't mean to disparage people who like 3H for what it is or enjoy Fire Emblem as kind of a cozy usually-mindless grind game, and I think that the appeal to many different flavors of autist is a strength of the games.

The thing is, my goodwill towards 3H and any potential it may have has been ground to dust. Never before in this series history has there been something that drew in the completely disingenuous ironic weeb troglodytes who wear games like fashion accessories like Three Houses did who, to them, a game can only be a flop or the second coming of christ. If the game doesn't mog Three Houses, it's a flop. We are very far removed now from the old fire emblem fan who were light strategy enthusiasts. Now the majority of this series's discussion all ego-driven pissing contest bullshit between porn addicted retards who will, without a shred of irony, tell you that shit like where Dimitri goes schizophrenic murder hobo because he thinks a 12 year old girl plotted his father's death, but then he becomes cured because a different 12 year old girl kills a dude he barely knows in 2 .pngs is kino as long as you just ignore the whole Byleth divine pulse thing (you know, the critical plot element introduced in the fucking PROLOGUE?) Same fucking morons who will bitch endlessly about "Ohhhh my avatar self-inserts," while jerking off "muh professor" writing, or who throw shit at other Nu-Emblem characters for being flat and one note gimmicks but love when 3H does it because they also traumadump you while doing it. Which reminds me, do you see how much Fire Emblem fanart, even when it isn't shitty disgusting porn, is OOC? These same people will cope your ear off about how important characters are to them in FE, but they never actually present them as they are in their fucking games. And then have the gall to pull this "Ermm, those games have dumb stories and characters :smug:" shit if you dare to say that you enjoy Fates or Engage as if 3H, again, isn't equally silly shit when you break it down.
 
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Now that I think about it. There's never been a woman character in Fire Emblem that has not been a retard and/or coomer bait.

Caeda, Celica, Lyn, Erika, Deirdre, Julia, Edelgard, I could go on and on.

Edit: @mrsthickness can't quote your post, but I'll continue to blame awakening for being the patient 0 for obnoxious western weebness.
 
Which reminds me, do you see how much Fire Emblem fanart, even when it isn't shitty disgusting porn, is OOC? These same people will cope your ear off about how important characters are to them in FE, but they never actually present them as they are in their fucking games
Don't want to look bad or ruin their wish fufillment.

It's more fun to let everybody just be assholes if that's what they were presented in game.
 
I have just enough respect for 3H to appreciate it as its own thing but I also hope it stays a one time thing. Engage's lukewarm reception has me worried they'll try that approach again in the future when its just not suited well for FE. Doesn't help that 3H's maps fucking suck, regardless of how much they're reused.

Now that I think about it. There's never been a woman character in Fire Emblem that has not been a retard and/or coomer bait.

Caeda, Celica, Lyn, Erika, Deirdre, Julia, Edelgard, I could go on and on.

Edit: @mrsthickness can't quote your post, but I'll continue to blame awakening for being the patient 0 for obnoxious western weebness.
Out of the main characters they did great with Elincia.
 
I have just enough respect for 3H to appreciate it as its own thing but I also hope it stays a one time thing. Engage's lukewarm reception has me worried they'll try that approach again in the future when its just not suited well for FE. Doesn't help that 3H's maps fucking suck, regardless of how much they're reused.
That's sorta how we got Fates. They saw Awakening was a huge hit and wanted to keep the next game as similar to Awakening as possible. Same artstyle, customizable avatar, big emphasis on pair-up and supports, etc. Some of this lead to them refining what worked in Awakening, and other things lead to them having things in the game just because Awakening had them, like the child units that are *much* more awkwardly integrated into the game. Instead of coming from the future because it's a Terminator plot, the parents just dump their kids off in pocket dimensions where they fully mature to adulthood in some short-but-unspecified amount of time.
 
Engage's lukewarm reception has me worried they'll try that approach again in the future when its just not suited well for FE
The Japanese reception of Engage was actually pretty good though and I don't see any reason we wouldn't get the usual Fire Emblem in the future while 3H will (thankfully) remain its own thing.
 
I agree and would actually say that they did a good job with almost all the characters in Path of Radiance. I really can't think of any characters in that game that would fall under being stupid and/or coomer bait in that game.


To be fair, Sanaki and Mist are not the sharpest tools in the shed.
 
I agree and would actually say that they did a good job with almost all the characters in Path of Radiance. I really can't think of any characters in that game that would fall under being stupid and/or coomer bait in that game.
I think the only bad exception in an otherwise fanastic cast is Ilyana. She especially sticks out like a sore thumb because all the other characters are more personality driven and she's the only one with a stupid gimmick.

20161019_Fire Emblem, Best of Radiant Dawn: Parts 1-15.mp4

To be fair, Sanaki and Mist are not the sharpest tools in the shed.
There are parts where Micaiah was very intentionally written as a flawed character and especially act 3 had her acknowledge that she will be seen as a villain for her actions but this scene was plain stupid. It doesn't even extend Jarod's relevancy really, you fight and kill him for good in the very chapter after this.
 
A bit off topic but recently been basically considering most Villains in RPGs tend to have a point even with their extremism. For one,Strega from Persona 3 sure does exude the Billions Must Die Energy but is it really that far fetched when people in that game pretty much want Canadian Healthcare?

I mean really they are giving people what they want and only a few are against them.

Compare that to current day events and you see that they do have some logical ground in said nihilistic view. I wonder what Fire Emblem Antagonists have went that far other than Zephiel.
 
A bit off topic but recently been basically considering most Villains in RPGs tend to have a point even with their extremism. For one,Strega from Persona 3 sure does exude the Billions Must Die Energy but is it really that far fetched when people in that game pretty much want Canadian Healthcare?

I mean really they are giving people what they want and only a few are against them.

Compare that to current day events and you see that they do have some logical ground in said nihilistic view. I wonder what Fire Emblem Antagonists have went that far other than Zephiel.
Looking at our world I couldn't blame Lehran for condemning it and its manmade horrors beyond comprehension
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