Fanfiction Horrors

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Cloud Mows the Lawn

btw this is a bit NSFW.

Tifa immediately jumped up in shock. She was so focused on expelling what was in her gorgeous bowels that Cloud finished the lawn and came up to the bedroom. So there she was, standing there, in a white t-shirt, white socks, red sneakers, and no pants or underwear, and with five inches of shit sticking out of her ass in front of the love of her life. Tifa began to cry, and Cloud approached her and hugged her. She didn’t care her shirt became drenched with his sweat. She wanted her man. She even felt a bulge in his pants, and realized that her taking a dump turned him on.

To Tifa’s surprise, Cloud turned her around and lowered her onto her hands and knees. Tifa was puzzled at first, wondering what he would do, but that puzzle was soon solved as Cloud guided his dicwardward her anus and the shit that hung from it. Cloud moaned as Tifa’s warm poo mashed against his dick. They had had anal sex many timesbefore, but never with a huge turd stuck in Tifa's ass!

Suddenly, Cloud’s dick set the poo that had been stuck in Tifa’s ass free. Tifa’s rectum expelled turdturd. Tifa farted again, and Cloud felt a pleasant breeze on his member.

“Thanks!” exclaimed Tifa.

“Hey, no problem,” said Cloud. “I’m going to shower. Wanna get in there with me?
Click to expand...

Tifa knelt by the window with her arms were rested on the window sill.
She sighed in contentment, gazing outside. Cloud was out front, mowing
the lawn. His shirt was off,
which was a big turn-on for Tifa, his wife
of two weeks. Tifa laughed as she realized she could stare at him all
day. She was rather sad he would finish eventually. He worked out
everyday, and his chest really showed that. He was the sexiest man Tifa
ever saw.

That didn't make Tifa fall in love with him, though. They grew up
together, and they had secret crushes on each other throughout
Suddenly, Tifa felt a slight rumble in her stomach, but she ignored it.
She was having too good of a time watching Cloud.
The best par the the mowing routine was the end, when he would come upstairs to shower.
Right before he entered the bathroom, she would ask Cloud if they could
take a shower together. They would always end up kissing throughout the
shower, and they would leave in a better mood than ever. She was so
sure he would let her shower with her that she was not wearing
underwear under her black mini-skirt.

She felt her stomach rumble again, and sighed. She really didn't want
to leave. She wanted tay tay there for the longest time, watching he
husband do the yard. Of course she knew he would do it again, and
again, and again, but she cherished every minute of watching him, she
could not bear to stop.

Tifa's stomach rumbled again, louder than the first two times. She
realized she had to think of what to do, and quickly. She could run and
return immediately, but then she would miss some of the lawn mowing.
Her second option was to stay and clean up after herself, but the fear
of getting caught made her feel uneasy. This feeling caused her stomach
to rumble more. Tifa looked down. The floor was a brand new and very
expensive tile floor. It was not a very pleasant idea for her to mess
it up.

"Whatever," muttered Tifa. "When a girl has to shit, a girl has to shit!"
Tifa's black skirt was actually a wrap-around, and it was easy to remove. Soon, she was bottomless.

Tifa took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She pushed and grunted over again, until she felt her anus stretch.
"This is it!" she said aloud, while still pushing and grunting. A
crackling sound filled her ears as the turd finally slid out of her
body. It was a hard one, dark brown and compressed together.
And boy
did it stink. Tifa didn't mind the smell of her own droppings, but she
knew it would be difficulty to get away with this.

With Tifa's shit sitting on the floor, she felt slightly relieved. Tifa
let out a long, gassy fart.
She giggled, for she tended to have gassy
poops. Her relief soon ended, however, as she felt another log
traveling from her colon to her rectum. She pushed again, and the turd
began to slide out. Unfortunately for poor Tifa, it got stuck halfway.

"I'll bet that feels good!" said Cloud from behind her.
Tifa immediately jumped up in shock. She was so focused on expelling
what was in her gorgeous bowels that Cloud finished the lawn and came
up to the bedroom. So there she was, standing there, in a white
t-shirt, white socks, red sneakers, and no pants or underwear, and with
five inches of shit sticking out of her ass in front of the love of her
life. Tifa began to cry, and Cloud approached her and hugged her. She
didn't care her shirt became drenched with his sweat. She wanted her
man. She even felt a bulge in his pants, and realized that her taking a
dump turned him on.
To Tifa's surprise, Cloud turned her around and lowered her onto her
hands and knees. Tifa was puzzled at first, wondering what he would do,
but that puzzle was soon solved as Cloud guided his dicwardward her
anus and the shit that hung from it. Cloud moaned as Tifa's warm poo
They had had anal sex many timesbefore, but
never with a huge turd stuck in Tifa's ass!

Suddenly, Cloud's dick set the poo that had been stuck in Tifa's ass
free. Tifa's rectum expelled turdturd. Tifa farted again, and Cloud
felt a pleasant breeze on his member.
"Thanks!" exclaimed Tifa.

"Hey, no problem," said Cloud. "I'm going to shower. Wanna get in there with me?
 
Has someone talked about the Goku/Anne Frank fic yet? Because I feel like that should be given an honorable mention here. It's mostly scary in the sheer amount of "what the fuck is happening" that the story contains. Seriously, Hitler becomes a Super Saiyan.
 
Saney said:
Oh, you mean this one?
Click to expand...
Oh, shit, THAT'S the one you were talking about, @MehicTUH_92. I read that one before!

...

... I have spoken with God, and he has abandoned us.

fishercat said:
Has someone talked about the Goku/Anne Frank fic yet? Because I feel like that should be given an honorable mention here. It's mostly scary in the sheer amount of "what the fuck is happening" that the story contains. Seriously, Hitler becomes a Super Saiyan.
Click to expand...
I actually like that because of how hilariously insane it is. Goku going in and literally wrecking shit in Berlin before squaring off with Hitler. It's the kind of insanity only autists could put to paper.
 
MehicTUH_92 said:
Saney no

Saney pls
Click to expand...

Sanae Kochiya said:
Oh, shit, THAT'S the one you were talking about, @MehicTUH_92. I read that one before!

...

... I have spoken with God, and he has abandoned us.
Click to expand...

Have you read The Pokemon Story? Because I have to say, while it's certainly bad, it's really not as bad as Rob made it out to be. Yeah, it's gross and the author clearly has no idea how sex works, but...eh, it's just not that horrifying. Maybe I'm just desensitised. Now, this fic on the other hand...
 
Saney said:
Have you read The Pokemon Story? Because I have to say, while it's certainly bad, it's really not as bad as Rob made it out to be. Yeah, it's gross and the author clearly has no idea how sex works, but...eh, it's just not that horrifying. Maybe I'm just desensitised. Now, this fic on the other hand...
Click to expand...
I'm just gonna point out that I heard about the Pokemon Story on Topless Robot's Fan Fiction Fridays,

and they pointed out that the """""Protagonist's""""" name is the same as the author's.

I want to believe that it's a trollfic, but Christ almighty.
 
I was surprised to discover a sizable Beatles slash fan fiction community exists. Nothing is immune. It did inspire a menagerie of riffs though.

Paul “Anything at All” McCartney
Paul “I’ll Keep You Satisfied” McCartney
Paul “Hold Me Tight” McCartney
Paul “Eight Days A Week” McCartney
Paul “All Together Now” McCartney
Paul “You Never Gave Me Your Money” McCartney
Paul “Why Don’t We Do It in the Road?” McCartney
Paul “You’ll Be Mine” McCartney

George “Long, Long, Long” Harrison
George “I Need You” Harrison
George “Love To You” Harrison
George “Not Guilty” Harrison
George “It’s All Too Much” Harrison
George “Sour Milk Sea” Harrison
George “Within You without You” Harrison
George “You Know What to Do” Harrison

John “Come Together” Lennon
John “Hello Little Girl” Lennon
John “All You Need is Love” Lennon
John “Cry Baby Cry” Lennon
John “Please Please Me” Lennon
John “This Boy” Lennon
John “When I Get Home” Lennon
John “I’ll Get You” Lennon
John “It Won’t Be Long” Lennon
John “Norwegian Wood” Lennon

http://archiveofourown.org/tags/The Beatles/works

http://www.beatlesfanfictiondirectory.com/

“Paul always get what he wants and apparently he wanted me”.

http://imaginebeatles.tumblr.com/fanfiction

Paul has been impregnated by a Mary Sue. At least Yoko’s in character. This one gets bonus points for confusing prologues with epilogues.

http://web.archive.org/web/20040211204827/http://soupfiction.net/viewstory.php?sid=1691

...you know I had a horrible thought right before posting all this; this was probably being done ever since they went on Ed Sullivan, only the fans had to keep their depravity in the closet as it was pre-internet.
 
I just mentioned this in the Harry Potter fandom thread, but there's a fic out there in which Draco's dad drills a hole into his head, which ultimately kills him not before he shits himself. Lucius rubs his son's feces with his own dick and then fucks the gaping hole in Draco's head
Read if you dare.
http://nostrademons.livejournal.com/33411.html


Christ, it's like if Bret Easton Ellis or Chuck Palahniuk wrote Harry Potter fanfiction instead of being professional writers.
 
TheMightyMonarch said:
I just mentioned this in the Harry Potter fandom thread, but there's a fic out there in which Draco's dad drills a hole into his head, which ultimately kills him not before he shits himself. Lucius rubs his son's feces with his own dick and then fucks the gaping hole in Draco's head
Read if you dare.
http://nostrademons.livejournal.com/33411.html


Christ, it's like if Bret Easton Ellis or Chuck Palahniuk wrote Harry Potter fanfiction instead of being professional writers.
Click to expand...

FUCK YOU I HAVE CHRONIC MIGRAINES OH GOD
 
Saney said:
Have you read The Pokemon Story? Because I have to say, while it's certainly bad, it's really not as bad as Rob made it out to be. Yeah, it's gross and the author clearly has no idea how sex works, but...eh, it's just not that horrifying. Maybe I'm just desensitised. Now, this fic on the other hand...
Click to expand...

It was so bad it turned Encyclopedia Dramatica's stomach. They even put a disclaimer on their copy warning people it was fucked up.

https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Gardevoir#Guro.2C_Incest.2C_TL.3BDR.2C_and_Furry.21
 
Enjoy this classic fanfiction due to the Robert Wayne Stiles drama back in the day. At that time Rika wanted this fanfic to be published lol

https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Robert_Wayne_Stiles/"Original_Story"

Here's one of his hilarious quotes about his fanfic:

Everyone, allow me to make a fucking disclaimer because a few of my guileless enemies have decided to dig something I wrote as simply an outline of a more than 100 page work BACK IN NOVEMBER.

They will try to dismiss it as a piece of shit when they post it, but any writer should fucking know that rough drafts are shitty. Also keep in mind, that there are NO MARY SUES, SELF-INSERTS OR WISH FULLFILLMENT FANTASIES IN THIS STORY. IT IS A SATIRE AND ALL THE CHARACTERS IN IT (MANY WHO HAVE HAD NAME CHANGES SINCE THE ROUGH DRAFT) ARE NOT MEANT TO REPRESENT ME UNLESS THEY ARE MYSELF.

IT IS NOT A FAP FICTION OR FANFICTION BASED OFF OF ANYTHING. EVERY CHARACTER CAME FROM MY HEAD AND NO OTHER SOURCE UNLESS THEY ARE A PARODY OF SOMETHING OR SOMEONE.

Knowing this site, NO ONE will approach my work with honest comments and thats why the trolls have nothing but the shitty first draft I wrote in collaboration with Autphag who is a lying shithead who wanted to fill my story with a cliched Zionist conspiracy subplot which have been around since the early 1900's.
Click to expand...
 
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