Fanfiction Horrors

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Latias' Journey.
This grimdark fic is crazy beyond all recognition. Pre-Internet badfic The Eye of Argon (link here, commentary here) may have had a bad case of purple prose, but at least when you put it in plain English, it has a coherent plot.
The plot of Latias' Journey is all over the place! Here's my take on the story's plot as I understand so far:
Latias dreams she marries Ash, but then it turns out she's marrying the "Ghost King"–>Team Rocket and psychotic Pokémon that have to be contained in "Prison Balls"–>Latias almost gets gang-raped by a bunch of Spearow–> Wakes up at this tree fortress staffed by Flying & Bug types (they eat the excess bug eggs, BTW :surprised::o:cryblood:), then it gets attacked and destroyed by a bunch of weaker Pokémon–>Mewtwo teaches Latias that OMG MASTERBALLS ARE TEH DEBIL'S DOOENG!!!!–>
We're supposed to feel sorry for Giovanni–>Final Fantasy Parallels–>Latias and a team of Mary/Marty Sues she assembles go fight Deoxys because he's a Lovecraftian horror all of a sudden–>THE END. This threw in a bunch of stuff from Zorro/Power Rangers/Sonic, and another fic in the same vein. And to top it all off, this fic is longer than the Lord of the Rings trilogy. This fic has 1,186,409 words in it, LOTR has 525,000, the Harry Potter heptilogy has 1,084,170, the US Constitution has only 4,543, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has 46,333 words, and the Declaration of Independence has a (relatively speaking) microscopic 1137 words.
Link here, commentary here (Suggested if you feel more secure with people riffing it) and partial here and here. Tvtropes page here.
 
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Ah yes, the world of fanfiction. This reminds me back in the days of The Sims 2, where EA allowed people to upload stories to the Exchange. Granted, Sims stories aren't actually fanfiction, unless it's a story about a media, which were actually common back then, but they had the most ridiculous of plots and storylines, with the same teenage cliches seen in fanfiction. Those included the classic tropes of rape, teenage pregnancy, cancer, and abuse.

Regarding the cancer part, some of those writers were hopelessly clueless about cancer, writing things such as people going bald because of the cancer itself and not the chemotherapy (if it was ever brought up), as well as misspelling chemotherapy in the most ridiculous ways.

Also, babies conceived from rape were considered to be blessings, so much so that it seemed to drown out the trauma rape should have caused.

Sadly, the Exchange is closed because EA ended support for The Sims 2, but anyone that was around to read those wonderful works were bound to get a chuckle from how awful those stories were.
 
There's a fanfic called Moon Daughter, which is basically the My Immortal of the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series. Even if you don't like the series some of these quotes are fucking gold:
  • "Artmeis eyes flashed. 'FUCK THOU!' She yelled."
  • "'I indentify with the ponies, they are leaders in heart, but their lifes are colorful and adventures. And sometimes evil tries to destroy their world but they fight with brave power.' Followed by 'He serves teh Fluttershy, not the gods of Olympus.'"
  • "I kicked him in teh cocanuts so he could never conceve."
  • "'I effing exiled you!' Yelled Chiron behind us! 'HOW DARE YOU COME BACK, YOU INSIDIUS BITCH SNAKE?'"
  • "'Zeus said thou art hot an hot ppl should have the rite to make out with other hot ppl' Artmeis explaned."
  • "I cut his stomach and something fell out, it was his spleen but people can live without their spleen so I stabbed him again."
  • "'I love you both!' I yelled, 'I can't chose one of you over the other one, your both equally hot!' (I liked them 4 other reasons too ok cause I'm not a slut.)"
  • "They were raicest and crule but their hearts were good."
  • "Kronos laughed like Hitler after killing a Jew."
  • "Apollo was super hot it, was like all the hot guys in the world got melted until it was soft and pored in a statue an that statue was Apollo."
  • "I was even more confussed, I knew once again that Artmeis had cursed me, too many guys wanted me! 'SHUT THE FUCKING HELL UP YOU BASTADS!'"
  • "I was only a baby when I was borned. But evern as a baby I was slim an pale not looking like a fukin tomato like all teh other babys."
  • "My lips were like a rainbow of only red."
 
You have not known the rawest of bewilderments until you’ve read the prose of the (hopefully) satirical Eogrus. I'm mostly going off the fact that there are references to other infamous trolls like Tara and Comicsnix to support the "parody" theory, but you never know.

https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1935568/Eogrus

"Roo nodded, and Tigger entered. The young kangaroo moaned, he felt pain in his colon tissues, but pleasure was felt in his prostate, sending him signals of pure pleasure up his spine. Nonetheless, his distress was reccorded by the machines, who could not bear such a sweet and inoccent marsupial feeling pain, and were overwhelmed by lust for him. So the tentacles were covered by bleach, retracted their barbs, dried off and replaced their chainsaws with artificial rubbery dog penises, leaking lubricant made from smashed strawberries. One of them introducted itself on Tigger's rear, another in his mouth, another in Roo's mouth and another lined up alongside Tigger's penis, stretching Roo's butt and making him double penetrated. All of them began thrusting at maximum speed, but they were full of pain-removing and tissue-repairing nanites, so Tigger and Roo felt nothing but the most divine heavenly pleasure of Elysium sensations. The two lovers thus sucked the artificial dog cocks with much pleasure, feeling the other ones thrusting their butts sexily and Cupidly, touching their prostates like Ozymandias' hands upon the soft gold of egyptian monuments. Roo moianed into his mouth-raping phallus apparatus, he felt at last full and proud of himself, his lover spreading his affection anally and the machines tending to his every need. Another set of tentacles even removed Piglet's corpse and created an artificial rubber butt modelled on Christopher Milne's arse and put it in his penis, allowing him a superior sexual interface to the decaying pig ham body that was now being liquified and sent to Bangladesh, to be sold as donation water.

Ten minutes passed, raw fuckery making Tigger and Roo experience Shamayim on earth, to make them feel best and most loving in their passions. But, eventually, all good things have to end. Tigger was feeling his orgasm contractions, he wanted to tell Roo, but the mouth thrusting machine organ prevented him. Instead, he simply ejaculated his load, draining his balls completly as he came into his beloved's ass. The thick, fast ejecting sperm ropes hit Roo's prostate, making him ejaculate as well, donating his load to the artificial butt. As Tigger experienced the afterglow, the machines softly removed him from Roo and themselves from the feline's mouth and ass, laying him gently in the operating table. The two now free artificial dongs ejaculated on Roo's body, covering his fur in nanite-composed cum ropes, followed imediately by the mouth fucking one, which removed itself from the greedy joye's face and came all over it. Finally the still penetrating dong ejaculated, filling Roo's arse with specialised nanites and the kangaroo's own sperm, the former mixing the latter and Tigger's cum to form an embryo (like in the mouse experiment) and then altering Roo's flesh to form a womb in his abdominal cavity, effectively impregnating him with Tigger's child (and their own, since the fetus is going to have cybernetic implants, thus making her the machines' daughter as well)."


His Wordpress is below. He has many posts about zoology, mostly relating to prehistoric life. Very jarring to see a story about cartoons getting raped next to a scientific essay you’d see in “Nature” or something. But I’m kinda glad he has other interests other than… well whatever the fuck this is:

"So the three boys abandoned the desolated old man dementia carcasse in their now subservient Magical Bus, returning to the sunlit world of tghe living. Carlos, Arnold and Tim are now in a polygamous gay relationship, the former two living to serve the latter's BBC with much pleasure and solipsism, and so they live happily ever after until the Sun's hydrogen supply runs out and the Earth is consumed by Helios holy fire, boys and girls!"

https://gwawinapterus.wordpress.com/
 
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Piga Dgrifm said:
^ There's still a lot of Sim-fanfiction videos on YouTube. A lot of them are ~edgy.

Anyhoot, I think I've found the sue-ist Mary-Sue that ever sued: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6254959/1/Memoirs-of-an-OC-Outsider-Character. The author is also known for lashing out against critics, and tracing art. http://marysuefacepalm.tumblr.com/tagged/Fuu
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Speaking of which, here's an example of a Sims fanfiction video. It features an ugly woman that would probably appeal to today's SJW types, skipping rapists, push-up sex, a rape baby, and the rapist gets invited to dinner*.


*Who in the fuck would actually do that?
 
Thiletonomics said:
Speaking of which, here's an example of a Sims fanfiction video. It features an ugly woman that would probably appeal to today's SJW types, skipping rapists, push-up sex, a rape baby, and the rapist gets invited to dinner*.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=JdoO7sA3dz8
*Who in the fuck would actually do that?
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So she fell in love with her rapist all of the sudden? Wasn't expecting that.

Also while I feel awful about it, I lol'ed at the rape scene because he kept phasing into her due to some glitch. And where she's reading the newspaper where it just says "RAPE!" and nothing came of it.
 
Chris did nothing wrong said:
You have not known the rawest of bewilderments until you’ve read the prose of the (hopefully) satirical Eogrus. I'm mostly going off the fact that there are references to other infamous trolls like Tara and Comicsnix to support the "parody" theory, but you never know.

https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1935568/Eogrus

"Roo nodded, and Tigger entered. The young kangaroo moaned, he felt pain in his colon tissues, but pleasure was felt in his prostate, sending him signals of pure pleasure up his spine. Nonetheless, his distress was reccorded by the machines, who could not bear such a sweet and inoccent marsupial feeling pain, and were overwhelmed by lust for him. So the tentacles were covered by bleach, retracted their barbs, dried off and replaced their chainsaws with artificial rubbery dog penises, leaking lubricant made from smashed strawberries. One of them introducted itself on Tigger's rear, another in his mouth, another in Roo's mouth and another lined up alongside Tigger's penis, stretching Roo's butt and making him double penetrated. All of them began thrusting at maximum speed, but they were full of pain-removing and tissue-repairing nanites, so Tigger and Roo felt nothing but the most divine heavenly pleasure of Elysium sensations. The two lovers thus sucked the artificial dog cocks with much pleasure, feeling the other ones thrusting their butts sexily and Cupidly, touching their prostates like Ozymandias' hands upon the soft gold of egyptian monuments. Roo moianed into his mouth-raping phallus apparatus, he felt at last full and proud of himself, his lover spreading his affection anally and the machines tending to his every need. Another set of tentacles even removed Piglet's corpse and created an artificial rubber butt modelled on Christopher Milne's arse and put it in his penis, allowing him a superior sexual interface to the decaying pig ham body that was now being liquified and sent to Bangladesh, to be sold as donation water.

Ten minutes passed, raw fuckery making Tigger and Roo experience Shamayim on earth, to make them feel best and most loving in their passions. But, eventually, all good things have to end. Tigger was feeling his orgasm contractions, he wanted to tell Roo, but the mouth thrusting machine organ prevented him. Instead, he simply ejaculated his load, draining his balls completly as he came into his beloved's ass. The thick, fast ejecting sperm ropes hit Roo's prostate, making him ejaculate as well, donating his load to the artificial butt. As Tigger experienced the afterglow, the machines softly removed him from Roo and themselves from the feline's mouth and ass, laying him gently in the operating table. The two now free artificial dongs ejaculated on Roo's body, covering his fur in nanite-composed cum ropes, followed imediately by the mouth fucking one, which removed itself from the greedy joye's face and came all over it. Finally the still penetrating dong ejaculated, filling Roo's arse with specialised nanites and the kangaroo's own sperm, the former mixing the latter and Tigger's cum to form an embryo (like in the mouse experiment) and then altering Roo's flesh to form a womb in his abdominal cavity, effectively impregnating him with Tigger's child (and their own, since the fetus is going to have cybernetic implants, thus making her the machines' daughter as well)."


His Wordpress is below. He has many posts about zoology, mostly relating to prehistoric life. Very jarring to see a story about cartoons getting raped next to a scientific essay you’d see in “Nature” or something. But I’m kinda glad he has other interests other than… well whatever the fuck this is:

"So the three boys abandoned the desolated old man dementia carcasse in their now subservient Magical Bus, returning to the sunlit world of tghe living. Carlos, Arnold and Tim are now in a polygamous gay relationship, the former two living to serve the latter's BBC with much pleasure and solipsism, and so they live happily ever after until the Sun's hydrogen supply runs out and the Earth is consumed by Helios holy fire, boys and girls!"

https://gwawinapterus.wordpress.com/
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It was so bad the sun couldn't take it any more and decided to commit suicide.
 
bossuary said:
i’m so proud of anyone who writes fanfic.

i am immensely proud of anyone who types out stories they want to see for characters that are not their creation, or their property, but that inspire them to delve into a difficult medium with which they likely have little experience or comfort. i have to be proud of that because fanfic is ultimately a thankless line of work. and it is work. it’s work for people who’re good at writing, trained in it. so imagine how difficult it is for beginners, the impaired, those with even a modicum of self-doubt? in that way, they are no different from any other author.

writing, literature, is an art form with an ugly legacy of snobbery. academics and laymen alike still argue about what sorts of writing should and should not be considered ‘canonical.’ add to that odious environment the level of disdain, apathy, or ignorance most non-fannish people have toward fan works and you have a near-permanent, repugnant shroud of You’re Not Real encompassing the whole endeavor. a shroud under which, miraculously, fan works are still produced with vigor and regularity, and largely without access to agents or editors who’re paid to polish. just as miraculously, these writers often receive, from their friends and peers and strangers, the sort of praise one associates with bestselling authors.

it’s miraculous because fanfic writers have been obliged to believe, from the moment they set finger to keyboard, that what they are doing is a sideshow. at best, they are hobbyists with some talent but no real standing. at worst, they are self-indulgent amateurs, muddying the waters of a true craft. like many authors of original work, fanfic writers will never have a millisecond of calculable fame for their efforts. they may step out of their borrowed sandbox and create original work, or they may not, but there is no scenario in which they emerge feeling like an accepted member of a celebrated tradition. even in the rare instance of pop culture turning its eye on some speck of scintillating fan work, it’s still mocked. it’s still a sideshow, just with a brighter spotlight.

so, yeah, i am proud of anyone who can absorb the reality of all the above…and stillwrite.
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Coming from someone that has written fanfiction and still does because i'm a spergy loser this is really fucking stupid. Fanfiction is nothing more than a wankfest for the author to live out their own little fantasies relating to the work in question. It's stupid to pretend otherwise.
 
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