Fanfiction Horrors

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Randall Fragg said:
Look what I made:

Sadly it crashed before I could complete it, I'll try to get it to work later
Click to expand...
Once apon a time...
Serenity Serentiy DeadfangGlorifica Godess

I was born under the shady dark red bloodmoon of the last oktober of the second millenium after the Great Shit. It is said that when I was born a thousand birds sung.

My father was the king of all the lands of our kingdom from the Beyond. My mother was born of the Ferry of Wisdom and Beauty.

Every day I ware the most beautyfil outfits the worlds have ever seen. My favourte is a incandesent red jacket that reaches down to my angles and is decorated with signs of insignia. I take long walks at the kingdoms dark forrest where I am acoompanied by my faithful Jortföljitr (A/N: I got that name after I watched Thor!), my faithful companion ferral dire lionworf.

But one day I was walking down the beach and then I saw a great dark light appearing in the middle of the beach. It was great and dark and was everywhere but especially the middle where it was the greatest and darkest of all.

Oh faithful Jortfulljitar! I said!
Jortfalhitr looked at me with his great golden eyes and snuffled up to me in fear and comfort. And growled at the grat Black and Dark lgith.The blood from his fangs dripping down into pools of bloody blood red blood. Jortfialjiral was a great and vicious beast I evaganlised in my head. But I must have said it out loud because behind me a mysterious voice said my gosh! You are right!.
It was FuckBalls McScrotum!

I had heard of FuckBalls McScrotum all this time but I had never met Her! I wouldn't have dreamed to actually see that She existed in this dimension! My father is the king of all the realms and dimensions and he had known that FuckBalls McScrotum lived in one of his rears and but it was quite exciting.

But I cared for none of that. Because when I saw FuckBalls McScrotum, I was lost in her the great round orbs of her soul that was embedded deeply wthin her head.
After what seemed like eaons we were awoken from our mutational dream . Because.......!!
Eyjafjallajökul groelwd once more at the great black thing (it was sort of like a swirly thing, but sworly doesn't quite sound epic so i didn't describe it as swirly. But it knid of is)... and it rapped open!

From within the deepest and darkest earas of the realsm I saw forthcoming a beast of greatness. It's evilness was radiating from the skins of other beings that it wore and swriwling around its head ( I think it was its head) came forth the souls of the beings that had suffered while it atea them.
I was flabbergasted. I reached out from my blue jacket and I held before more the AllDUst that my mother had enstruated to me so long ago. I held it before me and spoke the words in the acient Furry Langugae that my mother had taught to me as her mother had taught it to her and hers mother had taught it to her after she had won those words from the Great Dragon JarriJalleJar!
JortFullJarriJalle was a great evil beast that had tomented the lands of my father and my father couln't do anything about it because he was yet still a small child of a boy (my father is really old you see, like the Doctor!)

---
Meanwhile, The PoPos mind was wondered back to the past. The good old days....
It was Sir Maxwell Fuckyouups Hanukkah party, which everyone was invited too.
The party was awesome as always, because Legolas was hosting it.

The PoPo was pretty drunk that day. He had already punched a bunch of people. Legolas a few times.Because he is stupid.Blood was spilled. But that was normal in this sort of party.As was the pile of bodies.
If The PoPo was honest, he couldn't remember much that happened.
Only something about a Space queen,a goat and a pair of scissors.

There was one thing that stuck in him mind though. Something he would never forget.
Legolas.
Legolas was wearing a FuckBalls McScrotum mask that night (it was a fancy dress party btw - A/N).
It was one of the best costumes at the party.
Everyone had come as something or someone else.
No one could recognize anyone else because everyone had bits of their bodies covered;


Serenity Darkmoon Raven was dressed as Eva Edgeworth.
Eva Edgeworth was dressed as FuckBalls McScrotum.
FuckBalls McScrotum was dressed as The PoPo.
And The PoPo was dressed as a Lazergun.

The PoPo had no idea which person Legolas was! At the top they were strangers. But they would become much more!
The PoPo was instantly attracted to Legolas in him costume. The way he moved. The way he talked.The way he flicked his hair.
Legolas was doing a Karaoke number.
It was "Let it go". And he was awesome.
He sung like they were possessed.The audience was transfixated by Legolas.



Despite His crushing shyness,and fear of people judging him,The PoPo got up and sang too.
When Legolas was singing let it go it was like the words spoke to him. Legolas seemed to be addressing each word of the song just to him. The room faded away and it was just the two of them. No one else in the world.
They gazed into eachother eyes as Legolas put his soul into the last lyric.
Then silence.

Suddenly, The PoPo was woken out of the flashback by current events!
---

Fortunately Sir Maxwell Fuckyouup worked at a newspaper nowadays and he used the database of the newspaper to find out home turf of The PoPo's ruffians.
Their search led to a night club in the darkiest and stormiest part of Compton. I was a little hesitant to go. It was rather scary and it was dark and stomy in that secting of Compton. But the courage in me was greater than my fear because with FuckBalls McScrotum's Bitch Slappin I should be able to accomplish anything, right, I thought to myself.
And Sir Maxwell Fuckyouup would join me.

So not to fall out of fashion we both donned their most gothyest clothing. I had to admit that Sir Maxwell Fuckyouup looked kind of sexy in that outfit of his. But I didn't dare to comment on that.
I instead poored down my soul into my make-up. I bore gorgeous blood-rose coloured finger nails with black streaking zig-zags and gave Sir Maxwell Fuckyouup matching treatment. Sir Maxwell Fuckyouup lovely eyes met mine and for a moment we were both swimming in a pool made of a gorgeous combination of their eyes colours. It was romance we knew, but we didn't know whether it was a forbidden one or not!

Then we went off and defeated The PoPo.
---
The next time they saw eachother Legolas winked at The PoPo, remembering what happened at the party.The PoPo blushed.
Some of the others giggled. Did they know? The PoPo didn't care.
----
---
The PoPo had some time before he had to do anything, so he decided to have another flashback.

It was just after the Karaoke. They had stepped of the stage to loud applause and were now looking at eachother.
"Hi" The PoPo said, meekly.
"Hay" Legolas said, also meekly. Their confidence from moments ago had evaporated like alcohol.
"Do you want too..."
"maybe.."
"ok then."
So they walked to the cloakroom.
It wasn't long before their lips were together. The PoPo couldn't remember who made the first move.
He did remember the taste though. The taste of Legolas.
Legolas tasted like Salal berry on a Autumn noon.
Refreshing and salty but also a bit sour.
What had they been eating? The PoPo tried to work out it. It took much tung work.
After a few minutes mouth to mouth pot holing, Legolas guessed what The PoPo was doing.
"I had Goji berry for lunch."
"oh"
"you dont have to stop though"
"oh. Good!" The PoPo said, with great relief.
They finally drew away after what seemed a whole Solar day but was only mere minutes.
The taste of Legolas's lips still lingered in The PoPo's mouth as they finally looked upon each other with new eyes.
Relieved sighs came from both of them as both embraced, Legolas snuggling against The PoPo's neck as he snuggled upto Legolas's torso.


(in fact, The PoPo gave Legolas a "special" hug).



. They had a lot of..."fun".


"Sorry about that, I got a little carried away" said The PoPo.
"Thats ok I.....enjoyed it." said Legolas blushing in the way they always did.
"Tomorrow?"
"Yes" said Legolas.
"I'll bring some of my toys next time for us to play with" said The PoPo.

And with that they left the cloakroom and returned to the party. The months that followed were fun but they never told their friends.


---
And this is where the story ends...

It has come... to my attention... that some readers... don't like my art. They say that it's...it's all anti-semetic (sxuz me, but jews are like that!) and racist (I had a black classmate in my class once and he was really stupid lol) horrible violent (this is MATURE, DID"T U READ THE DISCLAIMER?!). That hurts me a lot. Really... a lot.
Do u know how long it takes me to write my stories? Do u think I like it being stuck at home with nothing to do but writing my soul into my art? My favourite show just ended and I was on team Jacob!

Writing is the only thing that makes me happy, but if that isn't good enough for u people, then I'm going to call it quits!
Yes, that's righr! I won't finish this story! You forced me into this :( HAPPY NOW?!!!!

I want to thank PrettySnape5 and Tinkersnuggums for beta reading, but I... I... I... just can't take it anymore.

So long internet. I WON"T MISS U!!

(What happens if you enter it as a male writer)
Once apon a time...
FuckBalls McScrotum-san woke up next to Serenity Darkmoon Raven-san.
"The PoPo-san is back, my spider-sense is tingleing..."
"If he is back, then he must be a zombie!"
"Good thinking!"
Suddenly Unstopable FuckBalls McScrotum-san came in quickly.
"The PoPo-san is back, he has killed Eva Edgeworth-san and Sir Maxwell Fuckyouup-san !!!"
"WHAT? Noooooo!!!" Screamed FuckBalls McScrotum-san The scream was heard for hundreds of miles, echoing into the sadness of the black dark nighttime air in the atmosphere.
"He is trying to enslave Earf: The Ghetto Version of Earth!"
"You must know one thing, one vital important fact that will be his fatal weekness...you must know this,ok, pay carefull attention and take note for if you fail to listen the consquences will be terrible...listen well to my word...
This is his akilies heel. In order to defeat The PoPo-san you must..you must...you must...."
At that moment Unstopable FuckBalls McScrotum-san dropped dead on the floor, the poison she was secretly given the day before finaly killing her.
Her guts feel out of her, staining the carpet and making the nearby Mobile phone messy

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!" said our hero.
"Nooooooooooooo!!!" She repeated, in an upset tone of voice.
"She was my friend, I am very upset!"
"There there, FuckBalls McScrotum-san." Serenity Darkmoon Raven-san patted FuckBalls McScrotum-san on the back.
"Thanks, thats better :)"
"Look! She has something in her hand!"
FuckBalls McScrotum-san ripped open the flesh from the hand,spraying blood everywhere.
Inside was a secret encrypted, coded note:
"The Tree will destroy the Tv as the Curtains of evil returns."

"This must be a clue!"
"lets go!"
The game is afoot!
---
Later, once they were alone and away from the others, The PoPo met with Eva Edgeworth in a nearby Farmhouse
They had been meeting like this awhile now, often in the evenings or at night.
A deep friendship had struck up after their previous adventures, but they kept it hidden as they didn't know what the others would think.
They often did some talking, some Gettin Money and Slappin Bitches, maybe a few board games.
They were quite close friends by now.

This particular night they were shearing secrets with eachother. Telling eachother things neither had told anyone else before. Things that not a single soul knew.

"Then there was that time I...Destroyed Eva Edgeworth-sans Wireless telephone!"
"oh, The PoPo! thats positively evil! and I should know!"
They both laughed. The night had been full of stories like this. The time Eva Edgeworth blackmailed a a Shoeshiner. Or the time The PoPo fooled a Bricklayer into thinking it was the end of the world.. Endless stories shared just between them and no one else.
It was making them closer.
Closer then The PoPo had ever thought possible.
As The PoPo was telling another story, He thought He saw Eva Edgeworth examining him. Looking with..was that longing?
nah...couldn't be.
The moment was over and they departed eachothers company.
The PoPo felt something had changed that night, but wasn't sure what.
---
'But then, it turned out FuckBalls McScrotum-san's lover had been secretly sleeping with The PoPo-san.

'The pain, the incredibly agonizing suffering she felt going through her heart, down her spine, into her collon and leaving his body through her anus once more.She was going to take revenge, on both of them, on everyone.
She grabbed her Chainsaw, her Pulse pistol and his Pulse pistol with M6 like ammo loaded. And of course, her trusty rocket launcher.
There she went, onto the streets, scaring everyone in sight. Everyone knew, she was out to take revenge.
The cops hide, so did the thieves and the beggers and the laddies, until there wasn`t a single living being on the steet.
She went into his flying Jump-jet, and forced his pilot at gunpoint to fly him to the base of The PoPo-san. There she would take his revenge.
The base of The PoPo-san' was crowded with Lackyss, all baring heavy arms and Granades. And those that didn`t have weapons, had big twin machetties and double egged katana's.
As he flew closer FuckBalls McScrotum-san grabbed his semi-automatic Slingshot, pointed and fired at a group of thugs who were outside for a smoke.
A rain of blood came down, with limbs scattered everwhere. The The PoPo-sans flying machine was also coloured red, and FuckBalls McScrotum-san believed she could see someone`s eyebrow sticking against the glass.
"Shoulda dodged that," she said manly.
Interlude:
The PoPo at that moment felt in his pocket. Thats strange there was a note.
It said he should rendezvous at the demolished beach at sunset.

The PoPo kept this secret as it was clearly just for Him.
---
Now, how to find him? We know he has a House, but theres so many!"
"Wait!", said Serenity Darkmoon Raven-san.
"I have worked it out. Remember the secret note? Its a code to tell us the address! Look, see I solved it.
The solution was very clever, and it all made sense.
"Wow, I could have never worked that out, well done"
"Yes, well done indeed"
Serenity Darkmoon Raven-san blushed, making him look hansome.

So they went to the base.
As they entered, it was strangely and creepily abandoned.
A cold wind past, filling them with dread
"I am scared" said Sir Maxwell Fuckyouup-san.
"Come on" said FuckBalls McScrotum-san
"Right behind you" said Serenity Darkmoon Raven-san bravely steping forward

"Quick! Lets steal some guards uniforms, so we do not arouse suspension." So they knocked some guards out that were near the tree. Our hero punched them a few more times to make sure they would stay down.
"Ok, he is sure to be in the penthouse sweet in his Skyscrapper " said Sir Maxwell Fuckyouup-san pressing the correct elevator button
The elevator went up a few floors. SUDDENLY there was a bang on the roof!
"down!" shouted Eva Edgeworth-san.
And they did. Which is just as well, because seconds later...
The hatch opened and a couple of Loyal followerss with Slingshots pirouetted down.
"oh god! What are we going to do!?" said Serenity Darkmoon Raven-san
"We gota think fast" said Sir Maxwell Fuckyouup-san.
"Ok"
"I know you dont like violence, FuckBalls McScrotum-san, But you have to do this. Do it for me. please.." Said Serenity Darkmoon Raven-san
FuckBalls McScrotum-san thought about all the people she had murdered recently because of his fate.
"Ok, your right, I know we have to fight them" said FuckBalls McScrotum-san who did a massive mighty super kirate kick just as the first soldier landed
but it missed!. Fortunatly Serenity Darkmoon Raven-san was there to catch FuckBalls McScrotum-san. And did a turbo ninja kick in return which knocked them unconscious.
"Nice work. But its not over yet! Look!"
A massive Mercenarys appeared, but they killed him.
Ding! They had reached their floor.
---
"Why are you looking at me like that? Its almost like your want me badly. Ha Ha!" The PoPo chuckled.

"You're my one true friend, The PoPo, probably the best one I've had in a long time. I like talking to you, hanging out with you, and I even love listening to you sing.
...And now that you've pointed it out, I think I might like trying sex with you."

"You're touching me. That's not considered appropriate behavior," The PoPo whispered, His bottom lip trembling while his limbs felt frozen.

"Maybe not. But I don't think you're going to stop me." Eva Edgeworth stroked her hand up The PoPo's hip, and pulled his shirt from his trousers. The PoPo's eyes fluttered shut when he felt Eva Edgeworth's fingers touch the skin of his lower back. But he forced them open again and stared into Eva Edgeworth's pretty eyes.

"I should stop you." The PoPo knew he should. This was Eva Edgeworth. Eva Edgeworth! Could he dare wreck their close friendship? And what about their destiny? But that didn't bother The PoPo nearly as much.

"Stop me," Eva Edgeworth said, and made it sound like a dare.

The PoPo was all set to give Eva Edgeworth a glare, but it faded away when He got his first real look at Eva Edgeworth.I mean sure, The PoPo had seen Eva Edgeworth before, but not REALLY seen them. Not with these new eyes which The PoPo now had. His eyes had been opened.Like he was seeing for the first time.Like the wool was no longer over his eyes.
Eva Edgeworth's soft legs.
Her nice humonganoids.
Her very agreeable pony tail.



In point of fact, The PoPos mouth went a little slack and there may have been some drool.

It dripped on Eva Edgeworth.
Eva Edgeworth didn't seem to mind The PoPos fluids though. Any kinda of fluid dropping on her was fine it seemed. "ewww" she said but half way it turned to a "owwwwwww".
"owwwwwww"!
It was a "owwwwwww" of pleasure.
It was the first of many sounds to come

They kissed eachother softly. The PoPo whispering sweat nothings into Eva Edgeworths ear.




After they had finished - exhausted and embarrassed, they decided to go home and tell all their friends
--
"So you have come" said a voice booming from the sky
A Blimp appeared above them.
The PoPo-san laughed at them from it.
"Ha Ha Ha Ha"
"I could gun you all down from here with my Ak-47, but I would rather do this...personal style."
He leaped down and landed at the far side of the rooftop
"Ready?" he said, still laughing.

. FuckBalls McScrotum-san removed her shirt and flexed her abs.
"Yes. I am ready. I was born ready."
With that they leaped at eachother, metaphorical guns blazzing (which were littoral Oziss).
"I kill you dead"
The PoPo-san head butted FuckBalls McScrotum-san in the chest
Blood splashed onto the floor.
FuckBalls McScrotum-san fell backwards in pain punching a few times before crashing to the ground.
"Ha Ha Ha Ha" laughed The PoPo-san
"You could never have defeated me, so why did you even try?"
"I had too, for all that is good and just in the world."
"Well now you will die. Goodbye."
The PoPo-san leaned over FuckBalls McScrotum-san holding a large rock.

"Quick FuckBalls McScrotum-san use this!" said Serenity Darkmoon Raven-san ,chucking a nearby mobile phone towards FuckBalls McScrotum-san.
FuckBalls McScrotum-san grabbed it and chucked it towards The PoPo-san hard, knocking him backwards....off the edge of the tall Hanger they were on!
"Goodbye, The PoPo-san have a nice fall!"
"ARrrrrgggg"
SPLAT!
Some blood sprayed up and splashed on them.
"We are safe now, he fell to certain doom."
Serenity Darkmoon Raven-san and Sir Maxwell Fuckyouup-san got out from the bush where they were cuddleing. "Thank you, you saved us all"
"Dont mention it."
But then! The PoPo-san appeared! He had landed in his Hangglider that was nearby!
"I will get you next time! I will kill you all!"
To Be Continued!

Once apon a time...

My name is Serenity Darkmoon Raven-san. I was all alone, wondering around on my own. My parents turned out to be nazi's and I am a Jew, so I was all alone on the streets. As I wondered down the forbidding streets, I found a leaflet on the floor. "Come to Compton! It is the best. You will find loads of new friends and understanding people. Maybe you'll even be crowned Queen!"

Oh, I thought to myself, I'd love to be Queen! So I set out to Compton!

<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->

I was very nervous. I had never gone to Compton and I wondered how they would treat me there.


<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->

I arrived in Compton and waited for a Hot air-balloon to bring me to my new Hut. As I was waiting for a one to take me there, I saw I think a mysterious figure hididing in the shasows.

It was as if he was looking at me!

I of course ran towards him and said, "What do you wnat?"

"For you to die!" the mysterious figure said and took out a knife and with a flash it came towards me.

I grabbed him of course at his wrist and twisted it until he dropped his knifewhich I picked up and with one swift motion I stabbed and twisted the knife, right from his stomach up his ribs.

When I was done with the assilant I turned and looked straight into her eyes. They were so pretty and round and I delved right into them. Like soaking in a comfortable batch and her workbench were nothing short of amazing and perky.. Her hair looked like the softest of velvet and encapsulated her face perfectly.

I had completely forgotten the assailant. All I could think of was her.

She looked perplexed and in awe at me: "That was amazing. You have to teach me your moves sometimes!"



"Who was that?" I asked.

"It must have been one of The PoPo-san's hedgeman" she said.

"The PoPo-san!" I gasped, "I thought The PoPo-san was defeated!"

"So did we... so did we." said she.

"When he leapt into the river we were sure he was dead. Even though the body was never found. "

"But who are you then? OMG... you're not..." I gasped in asphexiation.

"It is true," she, "I am no one else but FuckBalls McScrotum-san.

I had dreamed to meet FuckBalls McScrotum-san at some point in my lifetime. But it always was a distant dream. One that when you wake up, all you remember is FuckBalls McScrotum-san's dreamy eyes and wonderful complexion. It was such a dream that I never thought could become real! But here she was, right before me.

"I could never dream of meeting you," I said dreamily.

FuckBalls McScrotum-san grinned sheepishly, "Well, I had never thought of meeting such a great person like yourself."

I blushed.

"Hey," She said, "seeing as you're involved already, would you like to join me and the others to defeat The PoPo-san for good?"

"that sounds great! When do I start?"

"now!" said FuckBalls McScrotum-san and he led me towards the others. And there we started planning to defeat The PoPo-san!


A/N plez review!
---
Meanwhile, The PoPos mind was wondered back to the past. The good old days....
It was Sir Maxwell Fuckyouup-sans Halloween party, which everyone was invited too.
The party was awesome as always, because Serenity Darkmoon Raven-san was hosting it.

The PoPo was pretty drunk that day. He had already punched a bunch of people. Serenity Darkmoon Raven-san a few times.Because he is stupid.Blood was spilled. But that was normal in this sort of party.As was the pile of bodies.
If The PoPo was honest, he couldn't remember much that happened.
Only something about a Lackys,a goat and a pair of scissors.

There was one thing that stuck in him mind though. Something he would never forget.
Serenity Darkmoon Raven.
Serenity Darkmoon Raven was wearing a FuckBalls McScrotum-san mask that night (it was a fancy dress party btw - A/N).
It was one of the most erotic costumes at the party.
Everyone had come as something or someone else.
No one could recognize anyone else because everyone had bits of their bodies covered;

Serenity Darkmoon Raven-san was dressed as Serenity Darkmoon Raven-san.
Serenity Darkmoon Raven-san was dressed as Eva Edgeworth-san.
Eva Edgeworth-san was dressed as FuckBalls McScrotum-san.
FuckBalls McScrotum-san was dressed as The PoPo-san.
And The PoPo-san was dressed as a Stick.

The PoPo had no idea which person Serenity Darkmoon Raven was! At the top they were strangers. But they would become much more!
The PoPo was instantly attracted to Serenity Darkmoon Raven in her costume. The way she moved. The way she talked.The way she flicked her hair.
Serenity Darkmoon Raven was doing a Karaoke number.
It was "Like a virgin". And she was awesome.
She sung like they were possessed.The audience was transfixated by Serenity Darkmoon Raven.
Underwear was chucked at Serenity Darkmoon Raven.
The PoPo was soooo turned on.
(and he didn't need that underwear anyway)
Despite His crushing shyness,and fear of people judging him,The PoPo got up and sang too.
When Serenity Darkmoon Raven was singing like a virgin it was like the words spoke to him. Serenity Darkmoon Raven seemed to be addressing each word of the song just to him. The room faded away and it was just the two of them. No one else in the world.
They gazed into eachother eyes as Serenity Darkmoon Raven put her soul into the last lyric.
Then silence.

Suddenly, The PoPo was woken out of the flashback by current events!
---

Arriving at the mysterious shack, FuckBalls McScrotum-san found that there was an item laying on the table in the shack. Around the shack was a mysterious circle drawn in intestines.

"Be careful" said Serenity Darkmoon Raven-san who as usually was cowardly squatting behind FuckBalls McScrotum-san. (notez: cuz lulz, Serenity Darkmoon Raven-san is such a tool). FuckBalls McScrotum-san carefully manuvred into the shack and on her tiptoes and scuttled forward. The floorboards beneath her feet croaked and FuckBalls McScrotum-san could hear a loud hummer coming from the table. There the Bag of Coke laid. Right there for her taking.

But FuckBalls McScrotum-san was clever. FuckBalls McScrotum-san knew it was a trap!(notez: so obvious lulz!)


So FuckBalls McScrotum-san said to Serenity Darkmoon Raven-san, "Why don't you take it, it looks safe."
And Serenity Darkmoon Raven-san was like "Oh, well, if you're sure, I will!"( notez: he so gullablez lulz!)
FuckBalls McScrotum-san slowly paced backwards and let him to do the taking. FuckBalls McScrotum-san knew that if it was a trap, Serenity Darkmoon Raven-san would be triggering it. And then The PoPo-san would get him, but not her. FuckBalls McScrotum-san knew Serenity Darkmoon Raven-san wouldn't mind sacrifcing himself for her. He always said that.
But forutnately when Serenity Darkmoon Raven-san grabbed the Bag of Coke, nothing happened. Except they were cowardly attacked by Loyal followers's!

They hoped into the shack and fired shurikons at them, but they managed the dodge them quite well (by hiding behind eachother).

They defeated them quite quickly, they were no match for them. they smashed their heads in and ripped their clothes off and stabbed them until they stopped moving Hero's blade was serenaded, so it ripped their stomachs open and blood and guts flew everywhere. Then when everything was dead, FuckBalls McScrotum-san licked off the blade erotically.

But now with the Bag of Coke in their hands, they could take The PoPo-san straight on!
--

--

---
The next time they saw eachother Serenity Darkmoon Raven winked at The PoPo, remembering what happened at the party.The PoPo blushed.
Some of the others giggled. Did they know? The PoPo didn't care.
----
---
The PoPo had some time before he had to do anything, so he decided to have another flashback.

It was just after the Karaoke. They had stepped of the stage to loud applause and were now looking at eachother.
"Hi" The PoPo said, meekly.
"Hay" Serenity Darkmoon Raven said, also meekly. Their confidence from moments ago had evaporated like alcohol.
"Do you want too..."
"maybe.."
"ok then."
So they walked to the cloakroom.
It wasn't long before their lips were together. The PoPo couldn't remember who made the first move.
He did remember the taste though. The taste of Serenity Darkmoon Raven.
Serenity Darkmoon Raven tasted like Kumquat on a Winter noon.
Refreshing and salty but also a bit sour.
What had they been eating? The PoPo tried to work out it. It took much tung work.
After a few minutes mouth to mouth pot holing, Serenity Darkmoon Raven guessed what The PoPo was doing.
"I had Redcurrant for lunch."
"oh"
"you dont have to stop though"
"oh. Good!" The PoPo said, with great relief.
They finally drew away after what seemed a whole July but was only mere minutes.
The taste of Serenity Darkmoon Raven's lips (and other things) still lingered in The PoPo's mouth as they finally looked upon each other with new eyes.
Relieved sighs came from both of them as both embraced, Serenity Darkmoon Raven snuggling against The PoPo's neck as he snuggled upto Serenity Darkmoon Raven's torso.



Serenity Darkmoon Raven went further by clutching The PoPo with his fingers, pulling at the fabric of His slacks to feel what was underneath.

The telltale shape in his leggings stood out between them, especially with the weight it had against The PoPo's thigh.

Serenity Darkmoon Raven moved over The PoPo's body like a serpent and lovenly nuzzled at a peaked abbs.
The PoPo liked this a lot and started making a lot of noise. Serenity Darkmoon Raven joined in. "Owwww...Ahhh...MAHAhhhEEkkk...aakk"
It got pretty noisy from that point on. Both of them had a lot of fun and made a lot of noise!. The PoPo sounded like Reliant robin involved in a crash! Serenity Darkmoon Raven sounded like a heard of Rabbitss on drugs. They had a lot of..."fun".
"My groinal area are hurting...can we stop? 12 times is enough surely?" Serenity Darkmoon Raven said, pleading.
"No...MORE MORE MORE" said The PoPo, with apparently an insatiable apatite
Serenity Darkmoon Raven finally head butted The PoPo to get him to stop.
"Sorry about that, I got a little carried away" said The PoPo.
"Thats ok I.....enjoyed it." said Serenity Darkmoon Raven blushing in the way they always did.
"Tomorrow?"
"Yes" said Serenity Darkmoon Raven.
"I'll bring some of my toys next time for us to play with" said The PoPo.

And with that they left the cloakroom and returned to the party. The months that followed were fun but eventually they broke up and became enemies.


---
So they snuck into the The PoPo-san's lair. It was dark and there were horrofic things on the walls like drawings of skulls and suffering people who were beaing tortured in lava and beaten with hot pipes.
Through the dark and dank corridors of the lair's dungeons they went with outmost silence and skill. They sneaked past all the guards who had been turned into horrible demons by The PoPo-san's new invention. And this would also happen to the whole world if they wouldn't be able to steal the Bag of Coke from The PoPo-san's hands!
They went down the corridors and up the large majestic stairways made of bones and jewls of all shapes and sizes sprinkled with saffron.. One of the corridors led towards a great hall where in the middle of the hall stood a pedestaldripping in blood and guts and kidneys (and other organs) with a treassure chest on top and on that a red velvet pillow upon which laid a white silk finely woven cloth. And on that laid the Bag of Coke.

FuckBalls McScrotum-san knew that she had to use all of the Bitch Slappin to get the Bag of Coke but it would backfire if she wasn't careful enough. Serenity Darkmoon Raven-san inhaled firmly and wondered if FuckBalls McScrotum-san could pull it off. Sir Maxwell Fuckyouup-san stood ready with his weapon in his hand and Serenity Darkmoon Raven-sans boobies in the other. FuckBalls McScrotum-san concentrated firmly and then carefully but powerfully unleashed her Bitch Slappin.

It worked! The protections around the Bag of Coke vanished like wood to a woodpeaker. It was amazing how FuckBalls McScrotum-san's use of Bitch Slappin was effective against The PoPo-san's godly powers.
Unfortunately for our bravegang, it wasn't enough

"Halt!" echoed a sinister voice. Everyone slowly spun around to face the entrance of the hall where the voice came from.
It was The PoPo-san! And he looked even less humane as before. He had used the power of the Bag of Coke to transform into a ghastly corpse of a human.
"Ha! Are you surprised by my new looks?" He said. "It is amazing! The powers I have now are beyond your comprehension!"
"My comprehension is really good," retorted FuckBalls McScrotum-san and FuckBalls McScrotum-san's friends looked proud.
"Hahaha of course yours is. But are you able to comprehend the future of this world? I bet you aren't that smart after all. I will rule the world now, you see and there is nothing you can do to stop me!"
"But," said The PoPo-san with a lower tone, "even though you are not as smart as I am, you are surprisingly capable so I wish to make this offer: join me and we can rule this world together!"
"Never in a million billion years!" sobbed FuckBalls McScrotum-san!
"Think about it, FuckBalls McScrotum-san, you can now still save your friends! Make them stop mutate ebefore I release my powers!"
FuckBalls McScrotum-san was now tembling. She wanted to keep Serenity Darkmoon Raven-san, Serenity Darkmoon Raven-san, Eva Edgeworth-san and Sir Maxwell Fuckyouup-san alive for sex but he could not get The PoPo-san get away with it! But then she remembered: The PoPo-san no longer had the Bag of Coke! He was powerless!
But as if The PoPo-san could read his mind, The PoPo-san spoke: "Oh and your scheme to steal the Bag of Coke? I no longer need it! I have gained all the power from it that I need in order to mutate everyone in the whole world! But not that you even considered going against me, I will destroy you. Such a shame, we could be such good...friends." (A/N by which he means sex mates)
"FuckBalls McScrotum-san would never be friends with you!" said Eva Edgeworth-san
FuckBalls McScrotum-san thought she was right, but then again, The PoPo-san did look mighty sexy.
"It is too late now anyway, said The PoPo-san, my plan is active now and I will give you the best place to enjoy it: from your prison cell!"
The PoPo-san laughed and said to his guards: "lead them to my sex dungeon where you will suffer for all eternity in agony and pleasure.

But FuckBalls McScrotum-san had not forgotten her Bitch Slappin. With the speed and might that she learned from her previous adventures, she held his breath and unleashed the Bitch Slappin.
The PoPo-san had not expected that. He thought he had trapped FuckBalls McScrotum-san and her friends and managed to demoralise them so much they would not resist.
"Argh!" The PoPo-san said. His guards did not know what to do. Their leader was too weak against this onslaught. What could they do against that sort of might? So they all fled!
"Argh, noooo!" The PoPo-san extrapolated, "I was soo close to ultimate power!"
Seeing FuckBalls McScrotum-san succesfully attack The PoPo-san, Eva Edgeworth-san and Serenity Darkmoon Raven-san also attacked The PoPo-san!

"Arigh, no, noooo!"
"I will unleash my final power!" The PoPo-san said and raised his arms to the sky and started chanting an evil incantation.
But FuckBalls McScrotum-san was too quick. She ran towards The PoPo-san and hit The PoPo-san in the chin. He was knocked out instantly. Everyone was happy and everyone was cheering for FuckBalls McScrotum-san who had avoided the apocalypse! And now they all went home and wait until their next adventure!

Once apon A time.. I'm sooo sorry for not updating! I'm working really hard on SOME OTHER cool stories (but I can't tell you about that in case holywood wants to steal my ideas. It's *that* good
As usually, the fandom characters aren't mine, but everything else is! THAT includes the unique VERSION of the fandom characters SEEN in this story. Enjoy
Summary I suck at writing summaries. Bsides the 'fic isn't that long
Tyce Andrews-san was sitting behind his desk. He FELT the tears well UP in his eyes . After their LAST adventure, Tyce ANDREWS-SAN found out JUST exactly how cruel people COULD be. HOW nasty and inconsiderate real humans actually were. Tyce Andrews-san stared at a picture of a POLAR bear. A magnificent beast who would not hesitate to kill him ripping him limb from LIMB, but at least IT would be quick. Not a overlong conspiracy of many years, just to be unleashed on him when he was at his weakest and darkest moment. When he needed his friends the most.

But there had been one tiny ray of light in this whole nightmare. Tyce Andrews-san remembered fondly THE day he DISCOVERED it. It was a tuesday morning he rememberanced. The memories surfaced before his mind's eye and took the most WONDERFUL shapes. BEFORE Tyce Andrews-san well KNEW it, A single tear welled up in his eyes and trickled down his cheek.
Because even when all his 'FRIENDS' betrayed him, there WAS one consistant FACTOR in his life: OBEME-SAN
And Tyce ANDREWS-SAN knew that the rising aspirations between them could never become true, the feelings Tyce Andrews-san had for Obeme-san were the only THING in this world that still felt true to him. No lies, just that single, pure sense and feeling for Obeme-san.Their relationship WOULD PROBABLY only ever be physical.

Alas, Tyce Andrews-san thought to himself hopelessly. Why must they battle? Why must Tyce Andrews-san be destined to destroy Obeme-san? Can he ever tell Obeme-san how much OBEME-SAN means to Tyce Andrews-san
If only HE could. Then all his pain would be over. No more betrayal. No more suffering UNDER the laughter from Sped Chick-san (who TOLD him she loved him, only to stab him right inti the heart at valentines day!). No, only Obeme-san AND Tyce Andrews-san's true feelings for him.
A/N Lol this has all been so depressive lol! My next bit will be less dark
Then our sexybloodthirsty gang knew what to do. They had TO infiltrate Obeme-san's phallic shaped volcano but in ORDER to do so, THEY HAD to wear a disguise.
deadly Tyce Andrews-san thought long and hard about the best disguise. They couldn't be too obvious or threatening because then Obeme-san's GUARDS could catch them. But they couldn't look too mundane because then Obeme-san's guards WOULD never let them in.They couldn't GO naked, as they were likely to be distracted.By Sex NO... they had to be clever
So deadly TYCE Andrews-san came up with the BEST idea he had: they would dress up in gothic clothes!
Tyce Andrews-san's friends were A little skeptic at the idea, but they all AGREED it was FOR the BEST. But where would they get the best gothic clothing to surprise the GUARDS with Sped Chick-san knew exactly the best store to go: TBurtons
So they all WENT THERE in the dread of the night and TOOK out the patrolling STORE guards with their silenced cross bows, 'paw!' 'paw!', leaving only a single red dot in their forehead TYCE Andrews-san deactivated the alarm and so they could easily get into the store and take WHATEVER they need in order to infiltrate Obeme-san's headquarters

deadly Tyce Andrews-san put on nice tight redleather pantsthat made his trouser lump STAND out in an eye-pleasing way. . Then a BLACK tanktop with My Chemical Romance's logo on the back and on top of it all a nice long leather coat with blood-red streaks on the side. THEN he painted his nails black and used red blood to draw little drops of blood on there Sped Chick-san wore a short RED skirt with long black stockings that had holes where the toes would go so she could still paint her toenails. AND she ALSO had a corset made from dragons GUT that looked so awesome on her. Over this all she had a long leather coat. Tyce Andrews-san also had cool clothes (A/N but I'm running out of imagination to describe it, so I guess he looked like Neo from the Matrix i know it's an old movie but those clothes look soooo cool)

Finally they were ready to face Obeme-san!
And this is where the story ends...

It has come... to my attention... that some readers... don't like MY art. They say that it's...it's all anti-semetic (sxuz me, but jews are like that!) and racist (I had a black classmate in MY class once and he was really stupid lol) horrible violent (this is MATURE, DID"T U READ THE DISCLAIMER?!)and anatomicly impossible (FWHYI they all do Yoga, and thats totaly possible). That hurts me a lot. Really... a lot.
Do u know how long it takes me to WRITE my stories? Do U think I like it being stuck at HOME with nothing to do but writing my soul into my art? My boyfriend broke up w/ me and I'm sad because of all THE stupid Enlgihs assignments I got (who needz it anyways, I speak it lol)

Writing is the only thing that makes ME happy, but if that isn't good enough for u people, then I'm going to call it quits!
Yes, that's righr! I won't finish this story! Suck it Internet! HAPPY NOW?!!!!

I want to thank QueenRickman34 and Pinkyjack for beta reading, but I... I... I... just can't take it ANYMORE.
FAREWELL internet. I'll never trust YOU again!

Part Two:
It was a cold day in Springfield Massachustits .
On the day his Farmhouse was attacked with milltary force, Tyce Andrews-sans son had been sleeping untill 7 am.
Normally he got up at 4 to do his homework, because Tyce Andrews-san had raised him as a good boyafter his mother died in mysterious circumstances all those years ago.

Everyone else was already up.


Tyce Andrews-san, Tyce Andrews-san's son, was already making them all fried breakfirst with sirup. He was dressed in his redboxers (no top). His manly curves glisted in the light of the morning.Normaly he would walk around naked, or in his lion cloth, as he wasnt ashamed of his perfect body. But it was cold today, as could be seen by looking at flatness in his pants were normaly there was a massive bulge.He rubbed the syrup on himself to show off his muscles.Tyce Andrews-san was an expertbio-chemist, his parents were proud. He was going to a school for gifted and thats all that mattered to them.
They didnt mind that he was a bit wild at times. Sometimes bringing home different sex partners each night, sometimes many at a time Sometimes coming back with blood on him.At 11, he now knew shitloads of languages, four ancient, 4 computer and 3 sign languages.
He found it easy, and learnt them with his dad together.

By now, Tyce Andrews-san was now up and standing on the porch with his shirt off. He stared out over the wide desert landscape, he was handsome in a rugged kinda way.
Once, long ago, he was ranked one of the best special forces soldiers in the world. He was no longer a soldier, and now lived a quite life treasure hunting.
He was troubled by a newspaper artical his read a few days ago, that mentioned that someone from Springfield Massachustits was killed in a massive war . His was one of the few people that knew that that shouldnt happen, because of a magic spell he cast with The Race war van a few years ago.
The The Race war van was now hidden in his garrage.
Tyce Andrews-san was disturbed from his deep thinking by Tyce Andrews-san tugging on his shirt.
"Father! Father! Look!".
Tyce Andrews-san pointed urgently at the horizon.
"Frell!"
Para-ninjas Hundreds of them!
They were coming straight at his house.
He ran inside and bolted the bullet proof front door.
He woke his son up, and told everyone to run out the back.
They woke their pilot, who happened to be sleeping in the next room.

"Quick! Start the Hangglider! We are under attack!"
"OMG" He said as Whyte Willis -san run out. Naked. As Normal. His morning erection would have been poking out from his trousers had he been wearing any.
He ran back in with his helmit.
"Holy Shit!".
Tyce Andrews-san, meanwhile, triggered an explosion around his garrage in order to hide his precious The Race war van. The rocks fell and burried it totaly secretly so no one would find it. (None of the soliders heard the explosion as they were looking the other way)
Meanwhile, the invading force drew closer.
Tyce Andrews-san and his family ran to the hanger, Tyce Andrews-san leading the way with her Tazer BANG BANG!' Tyce Andrews-san killed only those she had too, merely mortaly wounding the rest
They dodged the soldiers as they ran, ducking and diving between the gunfire. Blood splattered around them.
"Dont worry! We are almost there!".
They dived into their escape vechile, guns blazing.
Their was a soldier already there, but Tyce Andrews-san whackd him.
"Good job!" Tyce Andrews-san said, as he pushed him out.
They started up, and zoomed off, the invading force vanishing into the distance.
"Did you get the secret message?"
"Yes, my good friend Tyce Andrews-san told me that Obeme-san was behind this!".
"We gota deal with this as a family, else we can never live in piece".
So they joined onwards, their enemy's in hot pursuit!





"You can never beat me, Im invincible," said Obeme-san
"Oh I beat you villain you, youll run back crying to your momma.
The sexy one (that is,the one that wasnt slaughtered)
(which you can read about in my other great fanfic)
"Mhuahahaaha I dont need no mother, I am after all adopted".
After that, Tyce Andrews-san leaped down onto the volcano plato , with Tyce Andrews-san just behind him.
He was in luck because he just managed to jump on it but didnt fall in it. It would have been a short story if he fell in it.
There was lava all around him. The hotness made him sweat with anticipation. Tyce Andrews-san called to him: "are you alright lover, you fell quite hard". "I am always hard for you baby!" "Im an expert at falling," spoke Tyce Andrews-san, "especially with girls."' At that moment lava erupted around him like a climaxing penis.
Obeme-san stood looking at our hero with his cape flapping in hotness.
He beared an expression of smugness. "I had told you, I am invincible, I cannot be killed, I cannot die, I cannot breath. And I have this!!!"'
Suddenly he held the The Race war van aloft.
"This is what you want!

This is what you need! But its mine now. You cant stop me.'
"Noo....not the The Race war van"
"Yes. The The Race war van"
"The The Race war van!" gasped Sped Chick-san
"Yes. The The Race war van"
Suddenly a bolt of lightning went through in the air, strikking left and right but not hitting the lava plato they were all standing on.
The Villain lit up dark in the flash of lightning. His features scary.
Laughing as he stood there, he approached Tyce Andrews-san, "Give up and go home, Sped Chick-san doesnt love you anyway."
"Thats not true!
I sex her every other night!"
"And the other nights?..."
Tyce Andrews-san ran forward and fought him (by slashing into him while Obeme-san evaded his attack and shoot fire from his fingertips)
But every time he hit Obeme-san, he just smiled and hit him back.
In between dodging lava ejectulations, Obeme-san said: "You cannot beat me"
"NEVERRRRRRRR!!!!" He YELLED HARD!
"Then you will lose, and I will win and destroy everything you care for."
"I HATE YOU!!" said Tyce Andrews-san and ran towards him with his 12 inch weapon drawn.
"Pathetic human, you can not beat me since I have this Incinerator!""
"No?! You have created it?! What have you done?!"
"Oh it was just a simple thing. With the help of your friend," He said while dodging another lava ejactulation, "I finished it just yesterday. Oh my, a lovely night we had.
"Me and my full 10 inches,oh yes."
"Your a monster and you will die, you monster!"
Tyce Andrews-san ran towards Obeme-san, just dodging a fire ball, leaping towards a plato in the lava, dodging a lava ejaxtualatuion, landing on a rock
He surfed like Legolas in Lord of the Rings on his skateboard towards the villain again, who in turn laughed out loud and smirked and took another fireball in his hands because he really wanted to kill the Tyce Andrews-san

"NOW!!!" SHOUTED our hero and his female companion lifted her top and Obeme-san was distracted by the bouncing blobs of womanflesh.
Using this to his outmost tactical advancement Tyce Andrews-san grapped The Race war van from Obeme-san and stabbed him in his eyes Blood gushed out.
"Owch! While I had the The Race war van I could not be harmed. But now it was taken from me I can and was and it hurt"
He staggered around and grabbed into the air, he was dying. "You are all dooomed, doomed! You will die and I will see your death come to you and your family and your families family family."
Suddenly an ejacturalition of lava sprung up and whooshed him with its flames, leaving behind only ashes .
"Oh, you are my Hero!" squeeled Sped Chick-san and embraced him.
"Tyce Andrews-san , Tyce Andrews-san, I love you! But we only have 5 seconds to escape before this volcano erupts!!!"
"Then quick, we must leave and leave this place behind, said Tyce Andrews-san and left this place behind."
Just in time, when the last second of the clock was about tick, Tyce Andrews-san and the sidekicks got out and everything crashed behind him, leaving only smoke and dust and stones behind in the rubble."
And they all made loveby fucking eachother.
The End
 
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Came across this little gem a while back while looking at Homestuck fanfics. This one in particular stood out to to me with it's engaging writing style, perfect grammar, spot-on characterization, and total believability. Hope you like it. :D

One day Rose and Kanaya were sitting on the couch watching TV. They were happily eating cheese sandwiches and drinking beer while doing so. Not much was said between them inbetween the mouthfuls of beer and sandwiches as reruns of family guy played on the TV in front of them. It didn’t matter though, they were happy. That’s what matters right. Right? Anyway after a few beers and an adult swim marathon both Rose and Kanaya alike were pretty drunk. Rose lifted up her head to turn to see how Kanaya was doing. Kanaya was looking kinda spacey. So Rose sat her hand on top of kanayas and said, “how u doing there?” kanaya simply turned her head and said, “I’m feeling drunk.” Rose chuckled a little and said, “yeah, me to.” Then she flipped the channel and found some porn. They decided to watch it. They were already drunk and they thought it would be ironic if they were also horny seeing as how kanaya has actual horns. So once they were both horny Rose turned to kanaya and asked, “Would you like to have sex?” Kanaya simply nodded her head and they went to Roses room where they could have a little private fun behind closed wall that would surely become steamy from what was about to happen. For I apologies if what happens next offends you but this is an erotic yuri fan fic. And I’m not sorry about writing it, but rather embrace the fact that I have what it takes to write it in the 1st place. But any way, back to the story I guess. Kanaya takes off Roses shirts and kisses her neck, “Oh yes!” Rose says as she gently squeezes Kanayas breast. Kanaya moans in pleasure as she bites into Roses neck then Rose squeezes her butt. But Rose said “AH!:heart:” as she stuck her hand down Kanayas pants as she started to finger Kanayas pussy. Kanaya gasped as she pulled rose towards her and bite down on her breast. Rose said “AH! Biting is such a turn off! Be gentle with me now.” Then she took off Kanayas shirt. Kanaya says “Sorry Hun. How about yu punish this bad kitty?” then bite Roses breast again. In the back of Roses head she was laughing at how Kanaya referenced Nepetas love of cat. Plus It is pretty kinky. So as she give Kanaya hickies on her neck and pouring a little whip cream on her back she says, “Oh you’re a naughty girl aren't u! how about I bend u over and spank u!?” Kanaya whimpers and rubs up against Rose as she says “kitty needs a spanking!” Rose chuckles and gives kanaya a little bit of a spanking then she takes her dildo and inserts it into Kanayas pussy where she moves it up and down as fast as she could while putting hickies on the surrounding area of Kanayas body. Kanaya whimpers and says “I’m Da kitty!” as she gives rose hickies as well. Rose says “you are so sexy as a kitty! I want to be you big jaguar!” Then she nibbles on Kanayas shoulder blade. Kanaya says “this is going in my book later.” Moments after Rose says “I want you to lick my pussy!:heart:” Kanaya does what she is told and pushes over Rose so she could fulfill Roses desire. But then rose says “wait, I wanna do it in a 69 position I don't wanna leave your pussy out of all this pussy licking.” Kanaya agreed and they moved into a 69 position where they both started to lick. Kanaya licks Rose clit and rose says “Oh yes! right there!” Then she sticks her tongue into Kanaya pussy hole and wiggles it around as she squeezes Kanayas butt cheeks as hard as she can. Then Kanaya slightly yelps as she then roughly sucks on Roses clit and says “m-more!” Then Rose says “Oh yes! AH-HA! I'm gonna Squirt!” Then Kanaya says “N-not too far behind u!” As she continues to suck on Roses wet from saliva cunt. Rose then sticks her tongue back into Kanayas pussy hole swishing it around the soft gooey inside as she squeezes Kanayas butt some more. Kanaya moans in pleasure loudly as she dittos Rose. Rose then cries out “Oh yes! AAHH!:heart: AAHH!:heart:” Kanaya then bites her lips to suppress the moans that wish to escape her lips as she says “I won't last much longer” Rose blushes and says “nieghter can I! I apologize now if I squirt in your face!” Kanaya replies, “Same ~ pant~ here!” Rose then says “So we agree on the advanced apologies 4 squirting in each others faces then.” Kanaya smile and says, “Yep! NOW SQUIRT DAMM IT!” As she shoves her fingers into Roses nice slightly wet pussy. Then rose say “Ah!:heart: AH!:heart: AH! That feels so good! Oh yeah!:heart:” as she squirt in a moment of sweet relief. Kanaya licks up the juices off her fingers and says” mmmmm~” they then lay down and cuddle for a bit before they shower themselves up and get dressed. They then sat back down on the couch with a beer in 1 hand and each other’s hand in the other. For what they had was love. A love that burned brightly and intensely between them.
 
Twilight Sparkle said:
If any of you guys want to see the REAL bad ones, watch the fanfic critic or Aliento.
also, why the hell does arthur have the most worst fanfics? Like of all things to make a fanfic of, arthur? (Well all the ones I read like, 60% is arthur)
Click to expand...
Not to derail the topic or anything, but isn't the Fanfic Critic notoriously (and ironically) sensitive to criticism to the point where she blocks people that leave negative feedback, not unlike many other YouTube lolcows we've addressed before?

Anyway, on account of fanfiction, I admittedly have a very guilty pleasure for it and I've actually done a few in the past and... actually... are still doing some. I've written a Fallout and a Harry Potter fic back on an old FF account (which, while I haven't really disowned the account, I haven't used it in years), and I've worked on some LoL fics, although I'm also extremely lazy and I've never actually made any finished versions public. But off-topic tangents aside, actual bad fanfiction.

To preface, this fanfic... actually isn't bad. imo, it's actually fairly well-written and, were this author to attempt to write literally anything else, I'm pretty sure that it would've been, at the very least, a fair read and not really all that bad. ... That being said... yeah, ummm... dinosaur fetish porn.

http://www.jamesleffler.com/2012/04/11/root-her/

Fuck you, Rule 34.

Fuck you.
 
Pocoyo said:
Came across this little gem a while back while looking at Homestuck fanfics. This one in particular stood out to to me with it's engaging writing style, perfect grammar, spot-on characterization, and total believability. Hope you like it. :biggrin:

One day Rose and Kanaya were sitting on the couch watching TV. They were happily eating cheese sandwiches and drinking beer while doing so. Not much was said between them inbetween the mouthfuls of beer and sandwiches as reruns of family guy played on the TV in front of them. It didn’t matter though, they were happy. That’s what matters right. Right? Anyway after a few beers and an adult swim marathon both Rose and Kanaya alike were pretty drunk. Rose lifted up her head to turn to see how Kanaya was doing. Kanaya was looking kinda spacey. So Rose sat her hand on top of kanayas and said, “how u doing there?” kanaya simply turned her head and said, “I’m feeling drunk.” Rose chuckled a little and said, “yeah, me to.” Then she flipped the channel and found some porn. They decided to watch it. They were already drunk and they thought it would be ironic if they were also horny seeing as how kanaya has actual horns. So once they were both horny Rose turned to kanaya and asked, “Would you like to have sex?” Kanaya simply nodded her head and they went to Roses room where they could have a little private fun behind closed wall that would surely become steamy from what was about to happen. For I apologies if what happens next offends you but this is an erotic yuri fan fic. And I’m not sorry about writing it, but rather embrace the fact that I have what it takes to write it in the 1st place. But any way, back to the story I guess. Kanaya takes off Roses shirts and kisses her neck, “Oh yes!” Rose says as she gently squeezes Kanayas breast. Kanaya moans in pleasure as she bites into Roses neck then Rose squeezes her butt. But Rose said “AH!:heart:” as she stuck her hand down Kanayas pants as she started to finger Kanayas pussy. Kanaya gasped as she pulled rose towards her and bite down on her breast. Rose said “AH! Biting is such a turn off! Be gentle with me now.” Then she took off Kanayas shirt. Kanaya says “Sorry Hun. How about yu punish this bad kitty?” then bite Roses breast again. In the back of Roses head she was laughing at how Kanaya referenced Nepetas love of cat. Plus It is pretty kinky. So as she give Kanaya hickies on her neck and pouring a little whip cream on her back she says, “Oh you’re a naughty girl aren't u! how about I bend u over and spank u!?” Kanaya whimpers and rubs up against Rose as she says “kitty needs a spanking!” Rose chuckles and gives kanaya a little bit of a spanking then she takes her dildo and inserts it into Kanayas pussy where she moves it up and down as fast as she could while putting hickies on the surrounding area of Kanayas body. Kanaya whimpers and says “I’m Da kitty!” as she gives rose hickies as well. Rose says “you are so sexy as a kitty! I want to be you big jaguar!” Then she nibbles on Kanayas shoulder blade. Kanaya says “this is going in my book later.” Moments after Rose says “I want you to lick my pussy!:heart:” Kanaya does what she is told and pushes over Rose so she could fulfill Roses desire. But then rose says “wait, I wanna do it in a 69 position I don't wanna leave your pussy out of all this pussy licking.” Kanaya agreed and they moved into a 69 position where they both started to lick. Kanaya licks Rose clit and rose says “Oh yes! right there!” Then she sticks her tongue into Kanaya pussy hole and wiggles it around as she squeezes Kanayas butt cheeks as hard as she can. Then Kanaya slightly yelps as she then roughly sucks on Roses clit and says “m-more!” Then Rose says “Oh yes! AH-HA! I'm gonna Squirt!” Then Kanaya says “N-not too far behind u!” As she continues to suck on Roses wet from saliva cunt. Rose then sticks her tongue back into Kanayas pussy hole swishing it around the soft gooey inside as she squeezes Kanayas butt some more. Kanaya moans in pleasure loudly as she dittos Rose. Rose then cries out “Oh yes! AAHH!:heart: AAHH!:heart:” Kanaya then bites her lips to suppress the moans that wish to escape her lips as she says “I won't last much longer” Rose blushes and says “nieghter can I! I apologize now if I squirt in your face!” Kanaya replies, “Same ~ pant~ here!” Rose then says “So we agree on the advanced apologies 4 squirting in each others faces then.” Kanaya smile and says, “Yep! NOW SQUIRT DAMM IT!” As she shoves her fingers into Roses nice slightly wet pussy. Then rose say “Ah!:heart: AH!:heart: AH! That feels so good! Oh yeah!:heart:” as she squirt in a moment of sweet relief. Kanaya licks up the juices off her fingers and says” mmmmm~” they then lay down and cuddle for a bit before they shower themselves up and get dressed. They then sat back down on the couch with a beer in 1 hand and each other’s hand in the other. For what they had was love. A love that burned brightly and intensely between them.
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This has to be a trollfic.

ThunderCavalier said:
To preface, this fanfic... actually isn't bad. imo, it's actually fairly well-written and, were this author to attempt to write literally anything else, I'm pretty sure that it would've been, at the very least, a fair read and not really all that bad. ... That being said... yeah, ummm... dinosaur fetish porn.

http://www.jamesleffler.com/2012/04/11/root-her/

Fuck you, Rule 34.

Fuck you.
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"Root Her" is one of my favorite bonkers NSFW fanfics, mostly because of the use of the word "velocigina."
 
I don't want to spam up the thread with my readings, but here is part one of FIFTY SHADES OF GRAYSKULL.
I'm going to read the other four parts, then at some point I'm going to read Dark Phoenix Saga by ComicsNix. If you guys have any particular fics you want to hear readings of, I'd love to see them!
But anyway, here's me putting my bone collection to good use. Also a special guest appearance by my cat.
 
MerriedxReldnahc said:
I don't want to spam up the thread with my readings, but here is part one of FIFTY SHADES OF GRAYSKULL.
I'm going to read the other four parts, then at some point I'm going to read Dark Phoenix Saga by ComicsNix. If you guys have any particular fics you want to hear readings of, I'd love to see them!
But anyway, here's me putting my bone collection to good use. Also a special guest appearance by my cat.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=or4UUv-FEx4
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Your Skeletor impression needs work.

I like your mask, though.
 
I know, I think I sound more like Prince Barin from the Flash Gordon cartoon. ;)
 
I don't have the link, but I remember a Harry Potter fanfic where Harry learns Ron wears diapers and Harry tries them too. Hermione has to change them all the time, and apparently Dumbledore loved them so much he made it law that every wizard must wear diapers. Snape wore black ones with dragons on the side, and Ron's had bubbles on them. Eventually, all Muggles wore them too and the entire planet began wearing diapers. I don't even.
 
I remember having a lot of fun ff.net, actually. I usually avoided the worst stories because I had no patience for them, so my memories are mostly positive. Also, I much preferred writing to reading. Funny, just a few days ago I got an email from ff.net saying someone left a comment on a story I wrote 8 or so years ago. That was pretty cool.

I can't recall any awful or laughably insane stories I read, but I do remember a very long anthology series in which Harry Potter acquires a book of magic spells that are all based around sex. What followed was about a hundred or so chapters in which various spells and potions are used to make all characters have all kinds of weird sex with every other character. It was pretty well written as I remember it, but after a while it got too ridiculous to read.
Can't seem to find it now, it must have been taken down, or moved to a different website.
 
Not sure if this guy should go in the DeviantART thread, or this one. But his fanfics are things of beauty.

http://dandyandy1989.deviantart.com/art/Andrew-s-TDI-Audition-102587885

Heather Fitzgerald was a lucky girl right now.
"I'm a lucky girl!" she said.
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He got up and was not happy with their disobedience.
"I'm not happy with their disobedience." he complained.
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He somehow manages to rake in tons of commissions, he's been at this since 2008 with no improvement, and has a inflation fetish which he occasionally sneaks in to his fanfics in a not-so-subtle manner. His series of original stories has wound up with a fanclub for some reason. This is a man of many talents, however. He posts amazing artworks as well:

Screen Shot 2015-04-04 at 2.26.59 PM.png

Screen Shot 2015-04-04 at 2.26.41 PM.png

He's 26 years old.
 
At least my shitty art is because I literally can't draw, put colors in lines, and my hands tremble too much [same reason I can't take pictures or film things], so I don't bother getting better.

His is just sad.
 
So anyone remember that movie Bridge to Terabithia? Based on a book, had Robert "T-1000" Patrick and a pre-Peeta Josh Hutcherson? I was surprised to discover that had an active fandom, and some of the people in it are very odd. In particular there's this one guy, MadTom, who claims to be a 58-year-old school psychologist, and yet he writes Buffy and Terabithia fics. Thing is, in his stories for the latter, he frequently has the leads, who are ~10-12 years old... get naked. A lot. He swears up and down he isn't a pedofork and that the nudity symbolizes innocence, which, to be fair, nudity can symbolize, but...

I mean, am I right to be concerned about a middle-aged man, working a job that has easy access to kids, writing about naked tweens, or has the internet really made me that cynical?
 
Pinball Lizard said:
So anyone remember that movie Bridge to Terabithia? Based on a book, had Robert "T-1000" Patrick and a pre-Peeta Josh Hutcherson? I was surprised to discover that had an active fandom, and some of the people in it are very odd. In particular there's this one guy, MadTom, who claims to be a 58-year-old school psychologist, and yet he writes Buffy and Terabithia fics. Thing is, in his stories for the latter, he frequently has the leads, who are ~10-12 years old... get naked. A lot. He swears up and down he isn't a pedofork and that the nudity symbolizes innocence, which, to be fair, nudity can symbolize, but...

I mean, am I right to be concerned about a middle-aged man, working a job that has easy access to kids, writing about naked tweens, or has the internet really made me that cynical?
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He *could* be lying about his age and profession for the lulz, so unless there's concrete proof, take it with a grain of salt.
 
SuperFilter said:
Just found this profile. Ho-lee shit. The grammar nazi to end all grammar nazis.
https://www.fanfiction.net/u/2936324/voltaire22

Don't you just love pseudo-intellectual fanfiction writers?
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You know what's hilarious? His grammar is crap.

Supposed grammar nazi said:
"Alright Eliwood is, after all, the greatest Knight Lycis has produced in a century," as well as being possibly the most criminally incompetent Marquess in the history of Elibe.
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Just look at this mess. Not only is the writing stiff, but he can't structure dialogue for shit. You don't end the dialogue with a comma unless you're immediately following it with a tag. That's basic stuff. Someone so picky about grammar couldn't have the comma and period rules mixed up, righ-

Supposed grammar nazi said:
"To Araphen, then." Kayleth said.
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Goddammit.
 
IJustWantToSeeAttachments said:
You know what's hilarious? His grammar is crap.



Just look at this mess. Not only is the writing stiff, but he can't structure dialogue for shit. You don't end the dialogue with a comma unless you're immediately following it with a tag. That's basic stuff. Someone so picky about grammar couldn't have the comma and period rules mixed up, righ-



Goddammit.
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Also, from what little tidbits I've read of his stories, all of his OCs are "ha, look how much of an asshole I am, I tell it like it is and I get away with it because I'm right" tryhard types. Going by the profile, I smell self-inserts ...
 
SuperFilter said:
Also, from what little tidbits I've read of his stories, all of his OCs are "ha, look how much of an asshole I am, I tell it like it is and I get away with it because I'm right" tryhard types. Going by the profile, I smell self-inserts ...
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His opening notes tell you everything you need to know.

Too smart for life said:
Unlikely to be a story for those seeking teenage wish-fulfillment fantasies, Stu protagonists, fairy tales, unrealistically romanticized Middle Ages, no character deaths, etc. Recommended age high school sophomore and upwards, depending ont he quality of education at the high school.
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He is the worst kind of person, but the reviews for his last FE story are gold. People just lay into him without mercy. No wonder he appears to have ragequit the site.

Also, as a general rule your author's notes should not be long enough to constitute as an entire chapter on their own.
 
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