Fanfiction Horrors

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I took one look at his favorited deviations and I'm not even surprised. Cartoon autism, lewds, and MLP, because of fucking course.
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A masterpiece, Goku meets Captain America
Goku was training. Of course, he was training hard. Goku was training so hard and flying so fast he forgot where he was.

"Where am I?" Goku asked. "Oh, I'm in the Arctic. Cool."

Goku laughed at his own unintentionall pun and continued training. He inhaled the frozen air, punching the heck out of some ice blocks. One ice block he almost punched but didn't because something was weird about it.

"Is there...something inside?"

Goku looked closer and started thawing the block with a really weak kamehameha. "Wow, there's a guy in here!" Goku exclaimed.

"What the?" Captain America shouted after he thawed out. "Where are we? And who are you?"

"I'm Son Goku, but you can just call me Goku," Goku replied. "We're in the Arctic."

"What's going on?!"

"Who are you first?" Goku asked. "I need to know your name so I know you aren't a bad guy. I beat up bad guys, you see."

"Really? So do I!" Captain America replied. "My name's Captain America."

"Oh, so you're from the USA then?" Goku asked.

"Yeah, are you?" Captain America asked.

"No, I'm a Saiyan," Goku said.

"Oh," said Captain America. "Is that in, like, China or something?"

"No, it's from outer space!" Goku yelped. "How do you not know that? Everybody knows who Saiyans are!"

"Well, I don't," Captain America said. "We need to get out of here!" he realized.

"Why?" Goku asked. "I mean, it IS a little cold, but-"

"No, we have to stop the Nazis!" Captain America shouted.

Goku just laughed. "Hahahahahaha, funny joke!" he said.

"What's so FUNNY about SAVING THE WORLD FROM THE NAZIS?!" Captain America screamed.

"The war's been over for over 65 years," Goku chuckled. "We won."

"Cool," Captain America replied. "Very nice."

"You have a lot of catching up to do," Goku said. "Wait, what's even your name?"

"You can call me...Captain America."

"Ok, Captain," Goku said, saluting, "I'm Goku. Let's show you the 21st century!"

Goku called his cloud, Nimbus. "You can ride it," Goku said to Captain America. "You're pure of heart." Sure enough, he did, and Captain America flew alongside Goku to the USA. "This is what America looks like now," Goku said.

"Wow, it's crazy," Captain America said. "This place is incredible!"

"Come on," Goku said. "Let's go to McDonalds."

They went to McDonalds. At first it was awkward because Captain America didn't know what fast food was but Goku explained it to him. Goku ordered 4 Big Macs and 2 large fries and a big drink because training used a lot of calories. Captain America got the same because he hadn't eaten in decades.

"This is delicious!" Captain America said after finishing his meal. "America of...what year was this?"

"The year is 2013," Goku said.

"America of 2013 is really great!"

Goku flashed a grin. "You think this is great, just wait till you see Limp Bizkit live in concert."

"Limp Bizkit?" Captain America questioned. "What's that?"

"You have to see it to believe it," Goku said. "Come on."

Goku and Captain America flew to New York where Limp Bizkit was doing a show. They didn't have any tickets, but Goku got in free because he saved the earth a bunch of times.

Goku and Captain America were in the front row as DJ Skeletor (AN - don't you dare to tell me "that's not his name its DJ Lethal" because DJ Lethal got kicked out of the band for drugs so they replaced him) started the show, his turntable scratchings music to everybody's ears.

"Wow!" Captain America exclaimed. "This future music is fantastic!"

"Wait till the rest of the band comes out," Goku coolly replied.

Suddenly, a monster looking person covered in glowing lights and black paint came out with a weird guitar. "Look out, a monster!" Captain America shouted, about to jump on stage, Goku holding him back.

"No," Goku chuckled. "That's just Wes Borland, the greatest guitarist EVER."

Once Captain America had settled down, the show started, a pounding drum rhythm. Suddenly, someone yelled, "IF ONLY WE COULD FLY!"

"OMG!" Goku exclaimed. "My fourth favorite Limp Bizkit song, 'My Generation'!"

The show was rocking and Captain America was totally feeling it. Fred Durst, Wes Borland, DJ Skeletor, John Otto, and Sam Rivers (AN - the current band lineup) were tearing it up. But then, disaster struck!

"GOKU!" a voice boomed from the sky.

"Oh no," Goku sighed, looking up. "It's Frieza! He's ruining the concert!"

"Yo, who's this guy?" Fred Durst said, looking at Frieza.

"Don't worry Fred, I'll take care of him!" Goku shouted, flying up to face Frieza. "You guys keep playing!"

"Man, I wish I could help out, but they're up in the air and I can't fly!" Captain America sighed.

Fred Durst looked to the rest of his band. "Looks like this is going to be a good old-fashioned butt kicking, boys. You know what to do."

Goku got psyched up as the opening riff to "Break Stuff" started playing. "All right Frieza, let's do this!" he shouted, charging up his attack.

The crowd was going nuts not just to the music but also to the imending fight Goku was going to have with Frieza.

"Foolish boy," Frieza cackled. "I have gotten ten times stronger since last we met! Take THIS!"

Frieza shot a really huge energy beam that took Goku down to the ground.

"Goku!" Captain America shouted, rushing to his new friend's side. "Get up!"

"Wow...he's strong..." Goku said, still pretty beat up.

"And now, Goku," Frieza laughed. "YOU DIE!"

Frieza shot another energy beam at Goku.

"NOOOOOOOO!" Captain America shouted, pulling out his shield, instantly reflecting the beam back to Frieza, sending the bad guy flying to the ground. Goku got up and walked over to Frieza, who was really beat up, but not quite enough.

"Kaaaaaaaaaaaa..."

"N-no, Goku, please, we can talk this out," Frieza begged.

"Meeeeeeeeeeeee..."

"Come on, man! Don't hurt me anymore! I give up!"

"Haaaaaaaaaaaa..."

"Yeah, hit him with what you got!" Fred Durst shouted. "We're all behind you, Goku!"

"Meeeeeeeeeeeee..."

"And if my day keeps going this way I just might...BREAK YOUR F****** FACE TONIGHT!" Fred Durst screamed as the song kicked into high gear, the crowd and Captain America going nuts, their energy aiding Goku.

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Goku screamed, blasting Frieza into next week. The crowd cheered and the concert went on without a hitch.

After the show, Fred Durst went up to Goku and Captain America. "Thank you guys," Fred said. "If you hadn't been here, Frieza would have ruined the show. If there's anything you guys need, just ask me."

"Well..." Goku said. "Can we get your autograph?"

"Sure," Fred replied. Goku had Fred sign his gi and Captain America had him sign his shield.

"You guys have free tickets for life now," Fred Durst said. "Limp Bizkit loves you."

"Wow, that was awesome!" Captain America squealed. "First McDonalds, and then a Limp Bizkit concert..."

"That's only a taste of what the 21st century has to offer," Goku replied warmly. "I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

THE END
Also a link to this work of art:https://m.fanfiction.net/s/9389752/1/Goku-meets-Captain-America
 
Four thousand years ago, there was a man named Ea-nasir. Ea-nasir was a Mesopotamian merchant known for being a slimy, lying fuck. We know about him because archaeologists found hundreds of complaint letters in what is believed to be his home in Ur. The most famous of these letters is from a guy called Nanni, who was pissed off about the substandard copper Ea-nasir sold him.

I am bringing this up because someone wrote a story about Ea-nasir and Nanni fucking.
That just so wrong
 
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12817894/15/Harry-Potter-LGBT-edition

'Harry Potter' but rewritten and changed in order to appeal to every type of individual and make it appropriate for our current generation. A diverse inclusion of sexualities, genders and nationalities will be featured. Year 1 to Year 7 of the journey. Harry/Hermione/Draco and Sirius/Lupin as well as other pairings...


-

I kept cringing till the end but it's obviously a troll fic in my opinion.
 
Did someone post this before? I feel like someone might have. If not hopefully these ought to do. I can't guarantee any of these aren't troll fics but they're bad alright, in some form or another.

Site's currently acting up right now, but from what I was able to see, they're not troll fics, just some painfully amateur Pokéfags on top of being amateur writers (maybe the first one could be a troll fic given the oddity of its "plot", but Pokéfags and odd fetishes overlap too often). Pokémon troll fics aren't really much of a thing these days, sadly, even though I wonder why the hell all of these harem fics keep popping up.

Took this screencap earlier this month when he randomly came to my attention and I've been meaning to look more into this guy. Probably could've put him under the Fanfiction.net Users thread since he doesn't have fics (far as I know, he's just a reviewer), but he doesn't appear active enough. Still, something about this really bugs me, and it's not just because of his "special interests".

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Site's currently acting up right now, but from what I was able to see, they're not troll fics, just some painfully amateur Pokéfags on top of being amateur writers (maybe the first one could be a troll fic given the oddity of its "plot", but Pokéfags and odd fetishes overlap too often). Pokémon troll fics aren't really much of a thing these days, sadly, even though I wonder why the hell all of these harem fics keep popping up.

Took this screencap earlier this month when he randomly came to my attention and I've been meaning to look more into this guy. Probably could've put him under the Fanfiction.net Users thread since he doesn't have fics (far as I know, he's just a reviewer), but he doesn't appear active enough. Still, something about this really bugs me, and it's not just because of his "special interests".

View attachment 405177

Feel like you may have heard of this guy before or something?
 
Feel like you may have heard of this guy before or something?

Maybe, maybe not, there's a lot of anonymous guest reviews out there and he doesn't mention how long he's been at it as this "X". I dunno, it was that "FanFiction business" that made me think something's off about this guy, and it seemed like his profile bio just got worse the more I read it. I didn't screencap the whole thing and had mostly skimmed it, and until FFN fixes its server I can't go back and check, but if I remember right he has bios on some OCs of his that were quite "out there". Yet he hadn't written anything. So I don't know, probably just another pixel of wasted space that plagues the Pit of Voles.
 
Maybe, maybe not, there's a lot of anonymous guest reviews out there and he doesn't mention how long he's been at it as this "X". I dunno, it was that "FanFiction business" that made me think something's off about this guy, and it seemed like his profile bio just got worse the more I read it. I didn't screencap the whole thing and had mostly skimmed it, and until FFN fixes its server I can't go back and check, but if I remember right he has bios on some OCs of his that were quite "out there". Yet he hadn't written anything. So I don't know, probably just another pixel of wasted space that plagues the Pit of Voles.

Ah, okay. Happy hunting then
 
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12817894/15/Harry-Potter-LGBT-edition

'Harry Potter' but rewritten and changed in order to appeal to every type of individual and make it appropriate for our current generation. A diverse inclusion of sexualities, genders and nationalities will be featured. Year 1 to Year 7 of the journey. Harry/Hermione/Draco and Sirius/Lupin as well as other pairings...

-

I kept cringing till the end but it's obviously a troll fic in my opinion.
You call that a Harry Potter trollfic?! Now THIS is a Harry Potter Trollfic
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9655837/1/Harry-Potter-Becomes-A-Communist
 
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I wish I could say that a pee fic about a 12-year-old character from a Pixar movie is unexpected, and yet...
 
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