Fanfiction Horrors

[General Emílio Médici]

Probably some bullshit about Ao3 allowing "racist" content to even exist. Which is retarded because Ao3 cannot exist unless it takes a free speech absolutist approach of allowing people to say anything as long as it isn't blatantly illegal in the USA.

 

[Troon Whisperer]

What “racism problem” does Ao3 have? I’m completely unaware of this or how it could even exist, which most likely means it’s a made-up problem.

White "women" who are the bulk of fic writers, do not care about niggers and so do not write about them, which upsets the few niggers that can read. It is an eternal source of amusement each year to see the top 100 ships chart and notice how desperate they are to point out the token ships which involve something other than white or asian.

 

[Thiletonomics]

White "women" who are the bulk of fic writers, do not care about niggers and so do not write about them, which upsets the few niggers that can read. It is an eternal source of amusement each year to see the top 100 ships chart and notice how desperate they are to point out the token ships which involve something other than white or asian.

Are Pajeets, Pacific Islanders, and Muslims also upset about the lack of representation, even though they're even less represented because Blacks appear in blatant BBC fetish fics?

 

[Chandelier]

omegah0ney, known shotacon, has decided to move on from her fixation 10-year-olds and move on to 15-16 year olds instead.

Spoiler: Chapter 1 - Rape fantasy scream queen

As the tags show, this is a 'hypersexualized' teenager who dresses like a professional prostitute and wants to be treated like a boy at the same time. It's club wear but for high school.
> Meant for those 18 or older
I assume these kids are 16-17, because they are sophomores and not juniors. Old enough to understand what sex is, but it's still weird as fuck to have a 30-something man rape them in a haunted house.

It's because she's black, isn't it? Black people don't do well with haunted houses. They don't get that white juju.
> I think it helps that masked men are hot
Right. And you have a 'rape fantasy' that also includes gender-affirming rape.

> Forcing his spine to bend
Disabilities don't need to exist in MY rape fantasy, chud. But I will hold you to those standards because you're ableist cis scum, otherwise.
> Relieve the throbbing in his legs
You'll be seeing a lot of that.

Cannibalism, you say? Huh. I wonder what munched pooner pussy tastes like.


> Looking like he wants nothing more than to eat him alive
In the business we call this foreshadowing.
> He can feel the way he's started to leak
Ladies, does your pussy leak like a faucet when you're scared? Is it enough to resemble a Cat 5 hurricane? If so, you might be eligible for this slaughterhouse fuck!
> Exposing the sports bra he wore that night instead of a binder
Yeah you might get your 'front hole' torn in two with that massive Mexican man meat but at least you're living your truth!


Let me guess: our lil dood is 5'2 or shorter, and this man is 6'5 and nearly 300 lbs. We gotta highlight that sexual dimorphism somehow.

> Pressing the curve of his ass against the man's front, a very noticeable bulge in his pants
That 'noticeable bulge' is thicker than his ass. Stop pretending this chopped Slav is Megan Thee Stallion.
> Leftover baby fat that barely clings to him
This kid is around 15-16 years old and he's about to get his insides turned inside out like a wet sock. It's OK, though, he has a thing for masked men.

> Large, bare hands envelop his tits completely
Where's that, 'his hands were so large his thumbs met in the middle' line?
> He's so eager he just can't control how eager he is
That's the excuse men use for rough sex, yes. "You were so beautiful I couldn't help but rape you."
> Small, round cheeks
Right.
> Traitorous body
I'm never gonna see the end of this line for rape fics, am I?
> Dirty boy
Hey, he might be a rapist, but he isn't a transphobe. You aren't getting correctively raped, but raped as a man with a vagina. We're not monsters around here!

> Almost like he's aware the kid's never taken anything inside before
Oh, he has. You'll never guess what.
> He thinks he could hear the squelch of his own soaked cunt
I love how they all sound like fingering/stirring a pot of macaroni. It's so exaggerated.
> They're so thick and long that just three of his fingers are difficult to take
So the yeti punchers. Who needs a gyno when this man can be his own speculum?
> Nothing like the dildo of his hairbrush or even three of his own slender fingers
You shoved WHAT in WHAT now? A hairbrush? Fucking hell. And no shit your fingers would be smaller - you're uwu so smol, they probably couldn't open the tab on a can of soda.
> Curses his body
He does that a lot. 'His traitorous body' that likes that big ole dick and can't stop squirting.

> He just needs a slick hole to use for his own gain like a toy made for him to fill
Funny how this always happens to trans men while transwomen openly want to be fucked and yet can never get the sex they want.
> All it does is betray him time and time again
It's Just Biology, bro. It's gotta get wet for a dick! Nothing like gender affirming rape.

> Nothing can describe the pain he feels as his hole is stretched beyond anything he's ever had
> Like he's being torn from the inside out
And there is no risk of vaginal prolapse here. We might have gender-affirming rape but we won't have any physical consequences to this kind of sexual activity. 1 squirting pussy grants you a buff in the field.
> The man bullies his entire length inside
> His hole just gets even more wet, much to his dismay
> Schlick of his leaky cunt getting ruined
Cue the 'it was a physiological response' and 'you came, so therefore you liked it' excuse.

> His pussy quivers with every single one
I'm sure 'the real thing' feels better than a hairbrush The 'copious amount of slick' is the cherry on top, as well as the 'use him like a doll'. All the boxes are getting checked.

> Cum painting every inch of his womb white and creamy
I just think of the strudel scene from Inglorious Basterds. Where's Hans Landa with his cigarette?
> The gush of the man's cum leaking from his hole confirms it
When you're drilled out deeper than a Chinese rare earth mine, it might be time to visit the ER.

Yeah, you should. Vander would beat the shit out of him and would raise money for lawyers. Vi would also join in on the beating. Also note how the social shame immediately sets in and is accordance with his sex, not identity.

He feels like he's being stalked - which he probably is - and has to buy the morning after pill to make sure he doesn't get impregnated. It says a lot that the only people who show him empathy and care are women, not men. He wants to be among male ranks, and yet not a single one comes out in support. What does that tell you?


> He can still feel the way his hole was stretched over that cock....using him as a fleshlight
You think you're getting stalked and had to take the Plan B pill and thought about reporting the rape, but promptly forget about it and try to turn it into a positive experience because the man's dick filled you up. How pathetic and insulting. This same author tried to make an 11-year-old good at oral sex because she was raped as a child.
> It's thrilling
Ask other teenage girls who have been stalked by older men if it's thrilling. You'll end up like Gabby Petito or the Cleveland Girls soon enough.

"Yeah I was raped but he filled up my vagina and that's okay!" Shotacons really are the worst of the bunch. At least Rekki had hers featuring adults AND you knew from the get-go it was a scene they mutually agreed on. This is just a male rapist getting away with it because their teenage victim got their vaginal canal stretched out like a used sock. The kid may not be 11, but they're a teenager. Grown-ass adults stalking them aren't cute, full stop.

Would it shock you to know the author moderated comments for this? I'm not.

---

The same author who doesn't want women to be reduced to their relationships is fine with reducing one of them to a slut and a hole that's raped by the male character she claims deserves a better romantic partner. The lines for this fic include:
- His cock assaults his senses, reduces him to nothing but a trembling, needy hole, his thoughts dissolving into a single, repeated word: Cock. Cock. Cock.
- You're too tight. And you're already dripping and creaming all over me, like a fucking fountain.
- That's it. That's my baby. I'm gonna fuck you until you black out after this.

Spoiler: Screamin' and Creamin'

We start with Viktor not being moved by haunted houses and the concept of them when he has more nightmares from sleep paralysis demons (not openly said but implied). In terms of Scary Movies, he says 'The Grudge' is not a good film and that Scary Movie did it better, meaning he didn't see the original, that uncultured swine. They list off movies that Viktor is not afraid of, from The Nun to Annabelle to The Conjuring (all shitty American movies, but no mention of The Omen or The Exorcist) and Viktor admits inwardly that he's really scared of Jayce's smile as it completely undoes him and makes him feel wanted. Near the end of the first part, we learn that Sky voiced her concerns about all the red flags she's seen regarding Jayce, meaning Viktor has moved in with an abuser - but that's OK, because he is more well-hung than hung and all is forgiven.

There's some snark during their movie marathon, such as how the boy from the Grudge 'needs some blood in him' despite him being an onryo (and you'd think a smart-ass like him would know), and they watch Insidious. Jayce gets very touchy, uncomfortably so, and he jumps the most at the baby's crying in the movie. Viktor remarks that he'd make a terrible father, to which he says, 'you want kids, Vik?' Viktor inwardly remarks that Jayce is very touchy, and during a jumpscare Jayce pulls on Viktor's hair so hard his head yanks back. He says that Viktor enjoys having his hair pulled because he moaned during the action. When Viktor tells him he should keep his hands to himself, Jayce acts the victim, and the reader gets the impression he does not like being told no whatsoever. Despite touching him in places friends don't usually touch, Viktor feels as if his love is unrequited. I think the moan and the intense look in Jayce's eyes are enough to show that it isn't mere friendship - and that's on top of Sky's warnings being ignored.

After Viktor's comments, Jayce refuses to talk to him two months on. Viktor feels dejected and talks to Sky over it (her only role ever being the faghag/comfort black woman) and she says it's for the best. He notes that she must feel smug over it for being right all the time, and she suggests that he move on via dating. She suggests Dmitri, as he's still interested despite being bailed on, and blithely suggests that Viktor needs to get fucked. She makes a joke that Dmitri has a big dick (which of course will be outdone by Jayce) and who appears in that moment? Jayce in grey sweats and a red shirt, with the Chad jawline and everything. Sky openly announces that Viktor will be going on a date with Dmitri, and since Halloween is next week, Viktor will need to dress sexy. Jayce does not like this one bit and stares at Viktor with open contempt, before stomping away and slamming his door like he's Mizkif. A real 'male feminist but the worst kind of abuser' archetype.

Jayce does not take it well. He begins sneaking into Viktor's room at night and leaves the door ajar, causing Viktor's paranoia to go haywire and to throw his blankets over himself like he's a child again. After one night where Viktor has a nightmare, he goes to Jayce's room and forcibly knocks on the door and shoves it open when he doesn't respond. Before he can say anything, he's distracted by Jayce's hairy body when he turns on his bedside lamp, and what do you know? He's got a giant snake down there! When Viktor asks him to cover up, Jayce's mood turns on a dime, and he corners him, saying that he comes into his room demanding that 'he cover up'. He asks if Viktor still intends to go on his date with Dmitri, and wonders 'whether (what) he'll find out about you that I don't already know'. He's already being referred to as a predator but that's OK because he has a massive dick and he's going to choke Viktor with it so who cares?

Viktor asks Jayce if he's been in his room as the door has been left open and his blanket has been found on the floor. Jayce takes the accusation poorly and asks that if it 'really was him, would he be so scared'? He doesn't answer because it's assumed that Big Dick Privilege would take over and the GTA firetruck squirting would make people forget how much of an asshole he's being.

What a very masc costume! Nothing like wearing slutty fishnets and items that emphasize your feminine attributes!
> Made his lemons appear bigger than they were
Are we seriously referring to breasts as 'lemons' now?

> If Dmitri doesn't dick you down, I will
Sorry, no niggers in slash. We can have a pooner getting raped - very affirmingly, I might add - but no blacks will be dicking down anybody. We don't tolerate that around here. That said, Sky being the faghag and supportive Black Queen is the worst kind of trope imaginable. I wholly expect her to wear those fake nails and eyelashes while snapping gum with her quips. *snap snap SLAYYYY KWEEEN*
> Hide the truth from his body
I'm pretty sure a satellite can see that erection. He's going to be drilling both holes wide like an Alaskan oil patch eventually.

> Head bowing in submission
Trans men are men but they must always be subservient to cis men. The dick owners are the ones holding all the power, remember that. This Jim Crow dick wants that white pussy for himself.

> If dick is what he wants then that is what he will get
Oh but we don't reduce people to stereotypes, oh no. We're not making the Latino a sexually charged beast ready to pounce on that white pussy and claim it in a reverse Reconquista. WEAREPROGRESSIVESHERE

During his date with Dmitri, Viktor thinks about Jayce's 'newfound' possessiveness and how it's like a wind that has stripped a tree of its leaves. Dmitri is out here dressed like the White Pharaoh meme with traditional boxers instead of an Egyptian-style pleated skirt, and Viktor feels nothing but dejection. He wants that Hispanic Hog, see, not this blue-eyed white devil. He is torn between wanting to go back and feeling disgusted at Jayce's insensitive comment - and let's be clear here, that is 100% a misogynistic comment, men are not normally called sluts and if they are, they are not affected by it and do not suffer the same social stigma - before saying he'll put some effort into this date and screw that big-dicked prick!

Dmitri is actually nice and seems to look at Viktor like he's a person, vs Jayce who repeatedly looks at him with disgust. Instead of viewing that as a huge red flag, our lil dood here pins it on unrequited love. While praising Dmitri for being funny and showing interest, Cait and Vi show up, unimpressed by their date and Viktor feels as if he is 'cheating' on Jayce despite the absolutely foul things Jayce said about him. Turns out Jayce is missing and Ximena is in the hospital, and Viktor is the only one who has his location. Dmitri wants to come to be helpful, but Cait snaps at him that only close family members and friends can come. One only feels pity for our Doodle Dmitri here, as he did nothing wrong aside from get in the way of a psychotic rapist.

His phone brings them to a dilapidated house in the middle of nowhere, skeletal barebones and all, under a blue moon. It's really something out of The Ring and Viktor gets a bad aura from it. He thinks he spies our Hispanic Hog in the second floor window, but dismisses it. Vi herself doesn't like the look of the place, and when they open the door, it creaks and sounds like the girl from 'The Grudge'.

The true horror begins when Cait gets stabbed in the chest by Jayce in a costume mimicking that of the demon from 'Insidious'. Viktor initially thinks its fake, but the blood is real and so is her death rattle. Vi tries to fight the murderer but she is killed in turn, not once using her boxing skills against a larger opponent. Viktor is left alone to be raped - but it's OK, y'all, that big dick is worth it. Viktor tries to flee, but doesn't, given his leg, and his demon rapist mocks him the whole time, calling him a 'little mouse'.

True to form, Viktor asks what God he angered to deserve such treatment, and even over the deaths of two women, he gets aroused. Nothing like a sexy serial killer to get those pussy juices pumpin'. Viktor tells killer-rapist Jayce to get it over with, because he 'killed his best friend', but not to worry, he's been there the whole time! Which makes it even worse!

But wait! There's more! Cait and Vi are alive! It was all just an elaborate prank to get these two together. Nothing like giving the True and Honest Man a scare! Everyone gets back in the car and drives home, and our lil dood has a good sniffle or two. Jayce tries to revert back to being a puppy despite his earlier behaviour of being a fucking asshole, but to no effect - yet. He stalks Viktor throughout their apartment like a ghost until Viktor finally snaps, saying he's been giving him his attention and love and pining and he's mad that Jayce decided to prank him. Very masc! One would think he would have just jumped the killer given his hybristophilia, but here we are.

When Viktor says that he's found someone who actually respects him, that puppy-dog attitude disappears, and the actual Jayce comes out:

> Who is valiant enough to take what's mine?
You have to love how the trans man is always the 'cis' man's property. It's like an unwritten rule and these fujos don't realize they keep doing it.
> Doe-like eyes
We really need to retire this shit. He doesn't have doe eyes. He has hawkish eyes. They do this to feminize him or make him younger than he is.
> It fuels his fucking darkness
Ow, the Edge.

> He snatches his wrist mid-air, fingers wrapping around it in a restraining grip
Waiting for the 'his waist was so small his thumbs met in the middle' line.
> He knew his obsession had turned dark when late at night he would sneak into his room to watch him sleep. Sometimes he'd even hike his shirt up and part his panties to the side
That is sexual assault. Nothing like making the token Latino a sexual assaulter. Very progressive.

> Does it bother you he did what you couldn't?
Uh, he didn't do anything? They had a single date?
> Make me scream his name all night
OK now he is playing with fire here. He knows this man is possessive and will use that dick as a weapon, and sure as shit, you will see the 'It's too big' line being used.

> Starving little thing seeking ruin
He's just uwu so smol.
> Large hand covering the entirety of his dainty neck
Look at that, we got the pale, fragile, dainty swan-neck! Anything else you want to lay out being too small?
> I don't like this
> So why are you wet?
Yes, this is legit said.

Told you.
> It's pure physiology
Correct, but if I shove a lead pipe up the 'masculine top's' ass here and tickle his prostate, I'M the pervert here.
> Are you this much of a whore for cock? You're just a greedy little whore
I will reiterate that this is a very female-directed insult, because men don't really care and don't suffer social consequences if they are called whores. They view it as a badge of honour. Calling someone a slut and a whore that you allegedly care about to the point it deeply affects them is scumbag behaviour. He knows his pet pocket pussy won't do anything because he knows which one of them is the actual man here, and which one is property.

> You're such a brute
Correct. We must analyze why this keeps happening with authors who claim reducing Mel to her relationship with Jayce is 'problematic' while continuing to do this.
> Consent enough for him
Staring at a death dagger doesn't indicate consent. I'm sure a lot of guys would be staring at that bulge if they were on public transit.
> Acts like a famished man
Cliché.

> His slick glistens under the dim lighting and soaks Jayce's boxer briefs
Well he won't need lube for that 12 inch death dagger, now will he?
> He has been fantasizing about fucking him just like this since the moment he laid eyes on him tonight
So what was the point in acting all apologetic at scaring Viktor the way he did? oh, right, to get them together. Nothing like a little rapeplay on top of simulated murder to get people going.
> His gaze locks onto the length bobbing up and down in front of him. Every daunting inch of it. Every throbbing vein
If you bite a vein, is it going to spray like a broken water main? Or is it going to be thick and gooey like a gummy bear?
> Doe-like eyes
What did I just say?
> It's too big
"I'll make it fit"

> Viktor loved sucking dick
That's one thing pooners are good for, aside from being submissive and scared when an actual man raises his voice.
> He's had to endure Sky's excruciatingly relentless questions about his rare sexual escapades
If she isn't the Mammy, she's the faghag. No niggers in slash.
> Like a kitty tasting creme for the first time.
Cats are lactose intolerant.
> He took advantage of the gaping orifice in front of him and rammed the head of his cock inside
Who needs to be afraid of dental drills when you have this guy? Cock so big and hard that you won't need to pay thousands for wisdom tooth removal.
> He was feral. A madman conducting his own sick experiments
Something really needs to be said about how this author doesn't want a black woman to get in the way of her ship, but will go ahead and make one man a feral beast who has a 'wolf inside him' and that's all he is. Oh, and the monstrous penis.
> So big, so innocent - his sweet little fawn
I know what you're doing with that. It's used way too often in shotacon fics, and this author likes them, so shocker that it's being used here.
> His lips stretched obscenely around Jayce's length
> No one else gets to hear him choke on cock
Literally. He pinches his nostrils shut in the next scene, legitimately preventing him from breathing.

Yeah, that's actual assault. There is no safe way to choke someone and all you're doing here is giving the person brain damage.
> He's doing so well at taking his cock - gagging, drooling, making all kinds of noises
Probably because he can't BREATHE, you idiot. You're doing the Derek Chauvin move standing up.
> Abusing his mouth like he's going to abuse all of Viktor's holes, until he remembers who owns him
Uh huh, and then you'll be paying his medical bills with your hat in your hand when the doctor tells you you have him a vaginal prolapse and nearly killed him.
> Throat gurgling around Jayce's cock. Overcome and helpless
It should be said that the way this is written is very male-centric: men really do get off seeing women choke on cock and this is no different. It's a source of power for the male because his genitalia is so large, strong and indicative of his masculinity that the vagina owner has no choice but to submit and be good for it. The 'little slut' comment cements it - if he were a man, he wouldn't care. 'Slut' has different connotations for men. Making an AFAB choke on your dick is just male-centric sadism.
> Brown sugar caramelizing under the heat of his tongue
He's more like a burnt enchilada that you want to deport along with the cook who served it in stale grease.

> Snot trailing down his nose, tears and mascara streaking his rosy cheeks
> He looks blissed out on cock
He literally doesn't, not with all that snot. Did you forget you pinched his nostrils shut?
> Eagerly milking him, sucking, slurping on his cock without him prompting him to
Ah, the eternal pooner conundrum: wanting to be seen as gay men, yet only good for bottoming and sucking dick.
> The wolf inside him has devoured the innocent puppy he pretending to be
Interesting choice of words there. He's a beastly animal that people like the Sioux hunted for meat and game, and an animal that has to be 'domesticated' to be obedient. Something something shitlibs treating brown men like dogs. The author later forgets she ever wrote this by having Jayce be a sweet lover at the end.
> He's done playing with his food
Never beating the animal allegations.
> Slinging him over his shoulder like a ragdoll
Funny how this keeps happening, over multiple stories, regardless of the author.

> I want you crying on my dick instead
Because the eight minutes of 'I Can't Breathe' would've summoned the Summer of Love from your deck.
> You'll take every inch, angel. And next time, you'll be on your knees pleading for it like the needy slut you are
Uh, he WAS on his knees. He couldn't beg because you were literally choking him and plugging his nostrils. Sex talk doesn't really work when you sound like a serial killer who needs his head shaved and paraded around in CECOT.

> Tell me the truth, or I'll fuck it out of you
The back-and-forth snark here is jarring. Viktor is trying to be sassy when he should be light-headed from being choked, and you will never sound witty or serious when you have mascara and snot running down your face.
> Watching his cock sink into his fluttering heat, inch by agonizing inch
Cliché.
> The rigid length of his cock almost painful in its intensity. Was all blood flowing there? Viktor briefly wonders
When you are so horny and committed to making the Latino the pinnacle of toxic masculinity you forget to edit your work:

I stand by my statements on a dick being used as punishment. Weird how it only happens to AFABs.

> He's too tight, his cunt clenches like a vise, slick and scorching, while Jayce is a monster, thick and relentless
Right. Nothing like writing the brown man like a monster, a rapist, a pedophile (in her other works), a beast, or a wolf. Just an all-around rabid penis owner who should be taken in by PETA. He won't be threatening anyone after they're done with him.
> His nerves are alight, his pussy weeping, body teetering at the edge of ruin
His spine also bends like a bow because fuck his spinal problems. Disability doesn't exist when you're getting your pussy pounded by a Rip n Tear Rod.
> You're already dripping and creaming all over me, like a fucking fountain
This is a real line. A man didn't write this, btw.
> Obscene gush of slick
Ah yes, these obscene gushes of slick and squirts. Literal squid people.
> His cock a steel rod, unyielding, punishing
Something something men using their dicks as punishment something something
>He's never been so stuffed, so owned - His thoughts dissolving into a single, repeated word: Cock. Cock. Cock
Forget your traumas, your suspicions, your worries about this man being a walking red flag: you are being STUFFED and OWNED like piece of prime angus ready to be placed over the barbecue. If all you can think of is COCK, COCK COCK maybe it's time to pork that possessive man's booty hole to see if he likes equal treatment.

> Viktor's cunt is a trap, tighter than his fist, hotter than any pussy he's ever had
White pussy do hit different, frfr.
> A slick, velvet glove designed to ruin him
Funny how this keeps happening to the trans man yet the actual man here doesn't get porked. 'He's too masculine to be sodomized!' Don't care. This guy needs to be STUFFED and HUMBLED, sweaty.
> His spine bending like a bow strung taut
Disability doesn't exist when you're getting that pussy pounded.
> Pounding into him like he's nothing more than a ragdoll, a device made for his pleasure
Ragdolls, sex dolls, fleshlights, dainty swan-necks...there's a trend here and I juuuuuuuuuuuuust can't put my finger on it.
> He's being fucked into oblivion, and he never wants it to stop
Right, until your spine breaks and then he has to pay medical bills for that on top of the vaginal prolapse. We'll see how tough he is when the IRS gets that booty hole lubed up for not paying his taxes.
> That's it. That's my baby. I'm gonna fuck you until you black out after this
Another real line.
> His pussy milks him
Cliché.
> Always knew you were made for me
Almost as if you have complementary genitalia.

> Animalistic need
Something to be said about all these animal metaphors.
> His pussy pulses around him, a slick, clenching fist
You wrote that already.

Now, I ended it here because the tonal shift gave me major whiplash. She spent the good part of this painting this man as an obsessive, possessive piece of shit that could not take 'no' for an answer, and now he's all apologetic and reminiscing about their times together and how they were made for each other. What in the fuck? You're having this guy act all sweet and puppy-like after choking you with his penis and bragging about it, squeezing your nostrils shut and assaulting you to the point of a prolapse? Wow, I must be so much of a hater to want consistency. This guy was stalking his 'love interest' and sexually assaulting him at night. Now he's declaring his love?

Nah, that shit deserves a 12-gauge. The haunted house thing was also senselessly cruel because this was a way to get them to fuck. Nothing like mimicking killing lesbians for your - ahem - 'gay' ship. Very thematic and appropriate.

Just remember: it's OK to ignore all red flags provided a man who views his man meat as a 'steel rod' and will make you choke on it to get off has a big one. If you get wet it's OK. Stop reducing women to their relationships and let's do Eight Minutes of Floyd Heaven instead.

---

Let's try something not so dark (and a little shorter): our regular VeeforVindicta and her ABO fic. This was written as a gift for the 'Anne Rice' of this fandom, our resident pedophile Gypsy queen.

Spoiler: I can break these padded cuffs

> Omegas aren't delicate, they are just as smart and capable as everybody else
> Their sole purpose is to rear children and be good to them
Oh yeah that's progressive. Nothing like repackaged misogyny but make it ~kinkier~
> Basic instincts, still present in every human
But things like rape and genocide aren't inherent to alpha males, are they?
> Some alphas went on and on about their own natural instincts of violence and abuse
Right. So what are some societal impacts and punishments for this? Is there a prison system for them? Or do they just look the other way and keep on truckin'?
> Sticky-sweet and rich like amber, with a powdery dusting like sprinkled sugar
So he smells like a doughnut. OK.

> This omega is rejecting him
Luckily our lad is PROGRESSIVE and TOLERANT and he won't force himself on this omega! No sir, that's for ones where he prowls like a wolf in the woods and proudly announces he's going to finger that front hole!

So now we have a 'fuck or die' situation where if he doesn't get dicked down his hormones will be so out of whack he'll perish. Redundant, I know. Omegas in this universe cannot survive being celibate. They must be bred or else.

> I physically cannot take any more
That's bad but you're still on testosterone. Changing THAT sex is fine and fucking with your endocrine system THAT way is fine, but this isn't.
> That was standard practice in the modern age
Heat leave = menstrual leave. Albeit this is worse because their heats would drive other alpha males wild and they'd be raped in the workplace.
> My body has always been too weak to sustain itself
> Since I am likely unable to safely conceive anyways
Watch him conceive, because pregnancy is the only thing his broken body can do.
> Feral omegas, the ones driven mad or had severe hormonal issues, which caused their defense system to kick in instead of their breeding one
Seems like an evolutionary mishap that should have been selected against. If omegas cannot survive being celibate, as pointed out above, then this trait would disappear. The only reason it exists is because feral alpha males rape them until they conceive and hence that trait persists.

At least he asked this time. He sure didn't ask when he was going down on a 12-year-old fawn child.


> The cashier just thought he was into some really kinky stuff
This is a society where people wear collars to signify they are someone else's property. You're gonna have to be more specific on what counts as 'kinky' in omegaverse.
> No scent items, and he wanted lube?
Surprise! This omega isn't a gusher! That Yellowstone spout is all plugged up (spoiler: this is swiftly retconned).

This is one of the few times where someone in her fics lays out what they want with explicit consent. The rest either involves pedophilia or murdering a black woman.

> An overripe sickly sweet - rotting fruit, sour milk, burnt toast
So they smell like a hoarder's kitchen when shit goes wrong. Nice.

> Has to be strong for his omega
He just needs to be an alpha male for someone who can't take care of themselves
> Small breasts
ICYMI: omegas are basically women but their primary and secondary genders are not the same. So you can have a male character have female parts and basically be referred to as female but their pronouns are male. Confused? It's OK, we all have those moments.

What a gentleman. He isn't howling like a wolf in heat this time, or has veins bulging in his neck like Mr. X. He has been properly spayed and neutered.

> Stroking his cock with slick covered fingers
> A rush of fluid dripping out and onto the sheets
What happened to him not being able to produce slick, and therefore needing lube? Guess we forgot about that.
> His scent mellowed to a milky sweetness so irresistible
Glad he doesn't smell like a corpse now.
> His pussy stretched wide to take the full girth of the knot
W pussy. It managed to return to factory settings and work properly again.
> He could feel just how big his load was
A load so big the CIA wants to enact regime change for it.

> Seven orgasms
Wow. What a machine! Can't imagine what his metabolism is like afterwards. He'll need a mukbang to feel replenished!
> Enjoyed servicing his omega like any proper alpha
Cool. What are these alpha males' opinions on out-of-wedlock births?
> Rumbled with an alpha croon so deep and loud that he blushed
There's the V8 engine we all know and love. Don't let a Puerto Rican hear it or else he'll steal it for spare parts.

There's a touchy-feely scene where our alpha male tells his omega that he's perfect and sweet and safe and all the usual BS. It's really something out of left field with this author; recall that she was the one who had a black character killed for the sole purpose of promoting her ship (and the smut scene). It's like getting a poisoned apple before the Jim Jones punch.

> Two straight days of holding him down
And no bathroom breaks, water breaks or food breaks. Those omega bed sores must be ROUGH. What do those smell and taste like, I wonder? Lucky Charms?
> He received a nervous chirp in response
Sounds like he needs his 9 volt battery replaced.

> Received a content purr
Purrs, squeaks, chirps - either they're Furbies or smoke detectors, it's hard to tell. But someone has got to change those goddamn batteries.
> Smoky-cinnamon-sweetmilk scent
Get it? The alpha male has the 'masculine' scents, while the omega has the feminine, I-just-fucked-a-corpse scent.
> Steady river of slick between his thighs
Guess he never needed that lube, just hope, love, and a promise of safety. With all those orgasms, it's no wonder that omega vulva can stretch so tight - hell I bet you could shove all of Argentina's currency up there!

I was wondering when we'd get a pale skin reference. These things are never complete without one.

---

What “racism problem” does Ao3 have? I’m completely unaware of this or how it could even exist, which most likely means it’s a made-up problem.

The origins for 'End OTW Racism' actually began in the year of St. Floyd - 2020 - and the racial reckoning also extended to a website that was started hosting Supernatural Wincest. During that time, the OTW had pledged to address the lack of diversity on their boards - nearly all of their volunteers are white or East Asian - and would hire a DEI consultant to 'look into the matter' of the issue of racist fanworks. What are some examples of these? One I posted in the yaoi thread was a Moxang Xioshu (sic) fic that used an allegory of Native American genocide for characters of exclusive Chinese descent. Despite people going 'What the absolute fuck' at it, the fic did not get removed due to their policy of 'anything goes'. To us, that's no big deal - people say racial slurs all the time here - but for an organization that claims to be for everyone, and wanted to be palatable to the non-white section of fandom, people had a major issue.

The ironic thing is, Kiwi Farms has a far more diverse userbase than the OTW does. 2/3rds of its founding members were Jewish, and one white woman. It's like that Huffington Post meme of 'y'all don't hire black people?' They're progressive NIMBYs, who made a big stink about doing more for black people and then dropping the issue when things like BLM were not palatable anymore. Unlike AO3, this website does not tolerate pedos, and people who post IRL porn of minors are banned or soundly mocked, like that one guy who had his entire 'It's Over' fanfic released.

The tumblr for its updates can be found here.

Are Pajeets, Pacific Islanders, and Muslims also upset about the lack of representation, even though they're even less represented because Blacks appear in blatant BBC fetish fics?

Pajeets don't read fanfic, because no one wants Pajeets in their smut. They are the least desirable men. Closest they'll tolerate are light-skinned Latinos.

 

[Chandelier]

Do you remember lukewarmoatmeal? It's OK if you don't. Back in February they wrote a story that featured the word 'baby' 15 times and the word 'hummed' 20 times, comes another haunted house adventure! Unlike omegah0ney, this one does feature adults, and not as much rape, but I decided to cover it anyways because this author is very, very popular in this fandom. Her 'The Hat Rule' now has over 1k bookmarks and even fan animations. She gets around.

Spoiler: Chapter 1 - Do you like haunted houses?

> He hates crying toddlers as much as any other grad student
Give it a few years and you'll be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen wondering where all those years went.
> You and your fucking indie film obsession
Great, we have YMS as a character.
> Modern horror all follows the same format. It's repetitive and it's boring
Funny, I could say the same about your work.

For those unaware, Zepotha doesn't even exist. It was a Tiktok prompt to make a nonexistent horror film. He's acting smug over a proof of fucking concept Tiktok video.

> Sucked at catching him off guard
In the business we call this foreshadowing.

I could make a joke about how the token black doesn't like haunted houses and all that white juju, but I'll keep it mum for now. They have a tendency to punch people in white robes, after all.

"General Kenobi! You are a bold one..."

Haha, get it? It's a double entendre. Black people can't stop being afraid of people in white sheets!

> Emotional support goth
Even as a dood dressing up for Halloween, you can never escape performing emotional labour. We need to stop torturing the token black with all the people in white sheets. You're asking for a race war.


At least the scene is much more positive than the one omegah0ney wrote. The titular couple know each other and this is all a performance vs a rape.

In the business we call this foreshadowing.

> Towering at least a full head over him
And how short is our boy here? He's not under 5'4, is he?
> Thinks he's supposed to be wearing a rabbit's face
> Notices how broad the man is
Damn, the rabbit from Donnie Darko hit the gym before his universe collapsed, and now is scoring some pussy. What a lad.

> Instantly start arguing about which Zepotha reboot
haha, get it? The film doesn't exist, so they're arguing over nothing!
> Circling his clit until the fabric is soaked with slick
Hope you washed your hands, because other people are gonna wonder if that's glue or something else.
> Exceptional in bed - generous and tireless
> Vanilla tastes good enough
They're always trashing vanilla when this is basic vanilla right here: penis-in-vagina sex in a haunted house and later, a hall of mirrors. You're not being as transgressive as you think you are.

The masked rabbit is calling another lil guy a rabbit! Rabbitception!

You're gonna be drinking a lot when the slick counter comes up. Chapter 2 is where all the smut is.

> The slick sounds obscene
Capturing the authentic ramen experience, I see.

> A string of slick stretches between them
He really missed the opportunity to dress as a xenomorph, and shove a mini second-mouth up his cooter. It'd be H.R. Giger's dream come to life.
> Sweeter than I imagined
I would hope so. All that T can make that shit taste like onions.

> Revealing his slick, throbbing pussy
I counted four so far.
> Wet tongue laps at his cock
Don't bother when we know Mr. Rabbit here is packing something that can send a pack of wolves running and snap open a bear trap.
> Nngh
Word of advice: don't use this shit in your smut. Makes me think Joe Biden is there as an automaton.

> Fucking him with the wet muscle
Damn. At least it isn't as bad as omegah0ney's fic. You can tell everyone is having a great time, including that man's tongue - predator and prey allegories aside. Everyone's legal and his breath tastes like peppermint! Crest should hire him immediately.

See? He could totally model for them, and not just for toothpaste but dental dams: you ain't breaking that dam with that tongue action.
> Yanks his jeans up in one rough hand
Imagine if the zipper caught on his roid clit. Eugh, I'm cringing at the thought of it.

The man is well-groomed, brushes his teeth, probably trims his ball hairs, even if he's cosplaying as a bunny killer. I bet you he flosses AND waxes his asshole.

Verdict: this is better than 'The Hat Rule' because we get straight to the point and there isn't so much 'baby' and 'humming'. That fic had so much of it there had to be a counter. We'll see if she keeps up this streak in Chapter 2. It is miles ahead of omegah0ney because this author isn't trying to be le edgy and isn't an open shotacon (at least, to my knowledge). Let's wait for Donnie Darko Getting Dicked.

---

You know what they say when you meet your doppelganger: shoot first. Whether inside or outside of them is your prerogative, as this author illustrates. Oh, and a little off-topic: one thing I've noticed with these anti-AI authors is that their writing style is very similar to AI. It's cold, distant and robotic, but don't tell them that (don't tell them it's remarkably easy for AI to copy their style, too). Did you also know having blond hair makes you more feminine? The more you know.

Spoiler: Lethally Blond

> The sensation was strange. Familiar, and yet strange
The floor is made of floor.
> The gasoline spilled over the product
They don't have petroleum in this universe. 'Over the product' can also mean anything.
> Giving his form a more feminine air
Oh? Blond hair makes you feminine now? I never knew. Guess I'm more masculine as a brunette, eh?

> That the leader of that place was...himself. Right. Okay
There's that sassy snark.
> He was, besides being a skeptic, a great scientist
> He set aside any critical thinking about the situation
So he isn't a skeptic. You should always have your wits about you when you're a skeptic. That's what I'm doing to this fic right now: being skeptical and critical.


> It was like drowning. It wasn't enough
Enough of what? Oxygen?
> Lacked the necessary dominance
I do wonder why that is. Why does the cis male get innate dominance, and not the True and Honest Man? Such a mystery.
> Which was curious, because masturbation was one of the most boring activities in the world for him
He says as he gets horny and has mutual masturbation over thoughts of an actual penis.

> Feeding his hunger for pleasure, but they also seemed to draw part of his brain and make him more delirious than usual in a sexual context
This doesn't make sense at all. You wrote in a prior sentence he doesn't like to masturbate. Now he suddenly does because the 'hunger for pleasure' is there, and he is delirious in a 'sexual context'. These are contradictory statements.
> Knew instantly that there was indeed a third presence in the room
No shit. You wrote him hearing those footsteps twice.

> The molasses made the other feel like he was wading through a waterfall again, transforming his body into pure liquid
Waterfalls and molasses are two different states of matter. When we describe something as molasses, we think of something thick and nearly impossible to move in because molasses is thick and sticky (think tar pits and dead dinosaurs stuck in them). Waterfalls are roaring bodies of water and you can easily get your skin torn off if you're not careful. Normally 'waterfall' is used for the pressure of this dood's squirt, not pleasure.

> Finally beginning to move his hips to rub their pussies together
This is just repackaged lesbianism.
> His cock, small and hard, purple but tipped with a golden nodule and a glistening liquid above it, seemed to kiss his own, pink and pulsing
It says a lot when he can have any genitalia he likes in that form, and yet chooses to go with a gold-tipped roid clit. I see what you've done there, dear author.
> His shoulders were broad for his small waist
Are we talking about Jayce here?
> A good size
No discussions of the Hispanic Hog here. But it definitely isn't the police baton you'd expect.

> It couldn't be
> He was different, bearded and long-haired
> There was no denying it; it was him
Nothing like a so-called skeptic being contradictory. Look at all those em dashes, too! We sure this isn't AI?
> Suspected that his partner wasn't his type - besides not liking men, he was a Piltie, he would never look at his body with desire
1. You're not a man, you're a woman. If he wants to fuck your holes it's because he's a flavour of bisexual. 2. Enough with this Woe is Me Pick Me attitude of 'Ohh I'm so ugly no man would want me ouuu'. I'd reject you on principle for being an annoying bitch.

> He was close enough to clearly see the bulge
You already wrote that he had a 'good size', meaning he saw the bulge earlier. I do find it funny that the double-ended dildo is thicker than our hung Latino here.

> Like the natural flow of a river. It was almost natural that he felt this way
The floor is made of floor. We sure this isn't AI?
> You can handle it. I know you can
This isn't the first time he says this. It does go to show you that this guy isn't as sex repulsed as he thinks and that he has, in fact, masturbated with large toys. This is a direct contradiction of the author's previous statement that he didn't masturbate at all.

> It's big, isn't it? But I know you can take it
You wrote that already.
> It even seemed as if the blue cock was pulsing, accepting the liquids gushing from both their pussies
This is a real line. I also like to think that it's part of Deathsworn Viktor and it's getting revenge for having his muscles taken away.
> Nngn
Enough with the Joe Biden moans.
> So thick it shouldn't be possible without preparation or pain involved
You just wrote that there's so much liquid gushing between them the dildo is glowing. It is quite literally a magic dildo; he should have deduced that when it went inside no issue.

> Withdrew his thick, vein-protruding cock
The blue dildo sounds better.
> The sound of slick and Jayce's balls slapping against skin, the heaviness of the smell of the two combined
So what does magic pussy juice smell like? Gasoline, magic marker, Crayola crayons? I bet it's something you can get high off of.

> Was this what his face looked like post-cum?
You tell me. You're the one who allegedly has never masturbated before.
> His balls heavy and tightening in anticipation
You wrote that already. His balls got tight twice.

Cool. How is this supposed to prevent the apocalypse? The power of love and shared friendship is supposed to stop the development of technology that was based primarily on risk and need? Magic pussies aren't going to cure a terminal illness, unless be bottles that shit up and gives it to him to consume. The Glorious Evolution will still happen, just with techno-colour vulvas.

---

From the same author comes a multi-chapter omegaverse fic, which promises to include piss on top of time-honoured critiques of gender roles and societal sexism. If you ain't first, you're last.

Spoiler: "Chapter 1 - Not Like Other Omegas"

> Wasn't like other omegas
Oh we are already starting with the 'not like other girls' BS.
> There was no doubt: despite everything, he was an omega
> Some of the characteristics expected of a perfect omega were missing, so distressing that he had to see a specialist
I will never get over how - and I dread using this term, believe me - bioessentialist this is. It is coming from the perspective of people who get angry when you suggest that males are overrepresented as rapists and abusers, but then will write shit like this where biology and heredity is the end-all-be-all of one's existence.
> Perhaps he shouldn't have been born an omega
You can change your 'primary sex' from female to male, but there are no drugs or surgeries to make one an alpha. You are born an omega and you stay that way. You Will Never Be An Alpha.
> He couldn't carry offspring due to his health
Watch him get pregnant.
> He failed to hear the voice of submission, the urge to procreate, the typical responses to an alpha's body
All we're missing is the hysteria and shoving omegas into asylums if they make their alpha males upset or unhappy. I bet you they had menstrual huts too - or heat huts - to keep them away from alphas as they are 'unclean'.
> He felt disappointment that he couldn't follow the path of his ancestors
Whoa, there. I had no idea we were going the blood and soil route!

> Underlying prejudice against omegas in general, always seen as weaker and more fragile
Ho hum. Too bad there are no Andrea Dworkin's or SCUM Manifestos for omegas. Something tells me alpha males getting shot and/or spayed and neutered would be seen as very, very controversial in their society.
> He was more afraid of revealing his true nature
Of course. He would legally be seen as a person unworthy of rights due to his 'frail' nature.
> An alpha much more controlled than other alphas, was a host of surprises
> How could a handsome, strong guy also be smart?
I love how the sexism is in-your-face but you aren't supposed to comment on it. Smart men can work out, go figure. Healthy, fit men with intelligence is a sign of genetic fitness. I assume that in this universe, alpha males are literal cavemen of low intelligence. Basically Somalia but with fewer men who look like Yakub.
> Insists on having his own scent on things through physical content
I will never get over how, in one omegaverse fic, alpha males really DID piss on shit to mark their territory like dogs. This is similar to that, but 'civilized'. The growling is peak dog-behaviour, though.

> A perfect beta. A pacifist
In this society, betas are state-mandated wingmen and servants, whereas omegas are just sex slaves. Alpha males get everything. The few alpha females who exist? Well - they are literal dick girls. Mel here got impregnated by Sevika (I guarantee it is her) so alpha females do develop girl cocks when the situation arises. Don't ask how evolution works in this universe, you will just get confused.
> Everyone around him was certain of who they were and what they were born for
Sounds like biological determinism is real, just not in a place you expect.

What counts as men's cologne in this AU? Is it actual cologne or alpha male sweat?

> Ate a piece of fruit that was about to spoil
That's how you end up on a Chubbyemu episode.
> Coal. Leather. Ozone
My man has a scent like a rare earth mining pit.
> It wasn't strictly necessary to smell the alpha, after all, he lacked some of the necessary instincts
You just answered your own question: him smelling the alpha scent means he's ready to breed and will fulfill his 'ordained biological role'. It means you are compatible in this reach around heterosexual dynamic.

> A big sniff, and yet nothing - emptiness, blank, dull
There's that em-dash! Have you been using AI, dear?
> Why did he want to smell Jayce in the first place?
He just answered his own question: it's to make sure his body is 'working as intended', and yes, it IS frustration at his own body. He's supposed to be a genius. Write him like one.


> To feel pleasure thanks to selfish feelings
Well, it IS your ordained role, is it not?
> We don't talk about Jayce Talis and his overwhelming power of attraction
Who is 'we' here?
> He's handsome, intelligent, determined, enthusiastic, and a pleasant person. He controls his alpha well
You already wrote that. You even asked how a man like him could be smart, which would be hella racist if anyone else said it. Omegaverse really gives you a pass for all kinds of shit.
> Viktor is a grown man
Are you sure about that? He's a literal boypussy.

Someone's doing the Derek Chauvin pose, I see.

> Why his colleague had heat suppressants
Because it wouldn't have the same ring if this 'intelligent alpha male' tossed it aside and went I'M GOING TO RAPE YOU, now would it?

> A small growl that rasped from his chest
> Maybe if he were a normal omega
AKA he was supposed to cower and submit when an alpha growls. They're dog people, remember. Someone get 'em a few shock collars.
> He slept thinking how nice it would be to have someone protect him from the evils of life
You prize your independence and yet turn around and want a penis-owner to protect you and do the heavy lifting. Who knew omegaverse was so patriarchal?

>A place that should have been sacred to an omega without a mate
Oh yeah: if you are unmated you cannot be a single omega around an alpha or vice versa. Spinsters and those who choose to be celibate or unmarry are looked down upon in society. You must obey your biological urges and continue the race not be an affront to biology.
> He watched his muscles, so well defined by the folded shirt
He's wearing a FOLDED shirt while cooking? Hope he doesn't get hot sauce on his nips.

> Realize for the first time that he was hungry
> Or perhaps he was starving
You didn't need to write it twice.
> The disrespect society deemed natural for an omega, even a broken one
So despite all the prejudice and jobs that are formally closed to omegas, you want an alpha male to swoop in, save you, and make life easier for you instead. It's the equivalent of a 50s housewife who had dreams of college abandoning it because she just wants (or thinks) a husband will make life easier.
> A primal longing to have someone by his side like that
"Women belong in the home and need to raise children" ahh logic.

> Noticed something different between them
> There was something in the air
That rare earth cologne do be hittin' different. It's like taking a nice, deep breath of steel mill air.

The next chapter will have PISS! Our alpha male will be marking his territory and our Pick Me Omega will finally be able to smell again. I don't know if this one will have AIDS, but OmegAIDS has a nice ring to it. Keep your rulers because you know this guy has a police baton in his pants.

---

Looks like I'm on an ABO theme for today, so here's another one. Don't worry, this one is short.

Spoiler: MenoPAUSE that knot

> poor and crippled
Hey, did you know our Pick Me is poor and crippled? I would have never known he was poor and crippled had you not told me he was poor and crippled.
> She tells him she likes his smell and his calming presence
Missed opportunity for her to go, 'GET OUT OF THE STREET YOU FUCKING BUM'
> His calming smell working to keep the rut-brained alphas at ease
Imagine a world where you have to smell like a Versace perfume to stop males from raping. State mandated sex slavery AND woodsy scents? The Combine are listening in.

> He liked tending to the omegas the best
I wonder why. It couldn't be due to the fact they don't pose a threat to him but the penis owners do.
> He's not like the other clients
'Not like other men' cliché, I see.
> Can't remember the last time that an alpha was so visibly attracted to him. It sends a thrill down his spine when he smells the clear notes of arousal in the young alpha scent
What does alpha male arousal smell like? Brine? Spam? Something you'd find on Anthony Bourdain's adventures? Gimme a hint.

> He's sweet. Sweet and really fucking sexy.
> He's so fucking hot with bulging biceps and the sharpest jaw he has ever seen
> He's already so fucking wet
You know a woman wrote this when she has one hand down her pants and the other furiously typing about Chad Thundercock.
> Well, I needed a brace, so
Amazing dialogue. I crode

> He feels so shy as he drips onto the sheets below them. He was never the most attractive omega even when he was at his most fertile. He can't imagine a virile alpha actually desiring him
There's that Pick Me attitude again: 'Woe is me, won't someone notice my beauty? How lucky I am to have Chad Thundercock finally notice me!' Someone once said the way these people write this man is like a Taylor Swift song, and I cannot unsee it. He's wearing pants in the bleachers unlike those slutty cheerleaders!
> You're fucking perfect. God, I need to fuck you
Amazing dialogue.
> Reaching his belly button
There's the 12 inch riot control Mexican man meat we all know and love!
> So fucking turned on
The one thing that was turned on was the nuclear power plant with that fuel rod hanging between his legs.

> The old man cannot feel anything but his cunt stretched to his limits and aching for his knot
What, no 'I'M GONNA FINGER YOUR FRONT HOLE' line? No howling in the dark? No, 'Omega. Is this where I breed you?' Huh.
> His hole accommodating the knot easily as he gushes around the fat base of it
He may be 44, but that cunt gushes so much he could have saved the Palisades. Fuck Newsom, get this guy on the line!
> He comes for two whole minutes
Alpha males like this need to be studied just for how much metabolism and electrolytes are expended for ejaculation that lasts two whole minutes. That's longer than it takes to fill up a gas tank. At this rate, the US is going to invade him because he's a source of energy. It'll be ALPHA MALE: PROPERTY OF THE US GOVERNMENT at this rate.

---

From the same author who brought you those hu-cow AUs where you wonder how human-rabbits dealt with skinning and eating their regular-rabbit kin, comes a plot that is too autistic and retarded for Seth McFarlane to handle. It's meant to be a 'porn what plot?' fic, but it with all the tags, it looks like she was trying to harness the spirit of Alex Jones yelling about chemtrails, chemicals making the frogs gay, and the satanic pedophile elite. You're only getting the gay frogs, though.

Spoiler: Chapter 1 - THESE CHEMICALS IN THE WATER ARE TURNING THE COWBOYS TRANS

Haha, get it? it's a reference to the show.
> Her dress was hitched up to her thighs
So they have testosterone that's synthesized and used by wealthy men, but women are still expected to wear dresses and you have to ride horses to and fro. There are no horse dewormers or things that can cure dysentery, but we can have TRT. Logic.

> Those bastards shot my horse
Must've not been with a high calibre gun because the horse gets right up and pushes a barn door open.
> Gayboy
Oh, that's cute. We've got synthesized testosterone AND t-dick penetration in this - and that's on top of the 'cis' man having a dick down to his ankles. Any more surprises?

I don't know what kind of gun was used, but if it brought down a horse at that speed, chances are that it's going to break its legs. But let's assume it wasn't that big: those bullets are not the same ones used today. It's probably a rounded bullet you have to physically dig out, and that is going to cause an infection. From the sounds of it, there are no antibiotics (but there is testosterone, conveniently enough) so you and your horse will be fucked.

Having a horse shove open a door like it suddenly has working arms was pretty funny, though.

How's a cripple with a bum leg a thief? I get pickpocketing but you aren't going to be breaking into shit with parkour Assassin's Creed style. He developed a helmet for Blitzcrank so the horse wouldn't get headshotted, but didn't develop anything to protect the horse's legs and flank...logic. He's a medic but he's not carrying around any disinfectant or medical supplies...also totally logical.

> He was big, imposingly so, with broad shoulders that seemed to fill the frame
Oh I know who's going to be the big topping man. I guarantee you this man will have a dick that goes beyond Viktor's belly button and will be throbbing and veiny and look like an enlarged Snicker's bar. It gets to a point. Amaranthine being his daughter is also conveniently, because we do indeed have a 'I loved women, but white pussy is where it's at' line.

> He was a mess, but a stunning one
You JUST FUCKING MET THE GUY, and already his dick is getting hard. Talk about shoving in chemistry where there is none.
> I have some experience with damaged machinery
Horses are not machinery. Just say you have experience with animal husbandry. It's required if you're a thief on the Oregon Trail.

> Elegant line of his throat, the bob of his Adam's Apple
He's female. It's never going to be as prominent as the ones seen in men. Men have more pronounced Adam's Apples because of the angle of their thyroid cartilage. It's a secondary sex characteristic.
> My precious babyboy
He knows what sex his horse is but not himself. Funny.
> What would that voice, rough and tender all at once, sound like whimpering those words in his ear
...YOU JUST MET THE GUY. YOU HAVE NO CHEMISTRY. WHIPPING AROUND THAT MASSIVE 12 INCHER IS NOT GOING TO GUARANTEE ROMANCE. FUCK OFF
> He hadn't had a thought that raw, that purely carnal, in years
> Not since his secretive trysts with Amaranthine's mother
The classic 'yeah I like women, but niggers turn me off. White pussy belonging to men really gets me going. Can't soil my bloodline any more than I already did!'
> Gut-deep hunger
Oh I can think of a few things that are going to be gut-deep.

> The slender column of his throat
Yes, talk more about that pale, alabaster, pale, white, creamy, snow-filled swan-neck.
> Sharper, paler, more defined. He was beautiful in a way that made his fingers itch to touch
You just met the guy. I guess his 'jaw dropping' white beauty stopped all questions, eh?

If you're wondering where chemtrails have any place in this, I regret to tell you the author just used it because it was cool. She has no inkling or desire to cultivate a plot; this is just your basic bitch Shania Twain about to get railed in a barn by a well-endowed Mexican with Ecuadorian measurements. You aren't supposed to ask questions, like how her hu-cows got leather or why they used leather diapers, you're just supposed to nod and masturbate.

---

On top of AO3 allowing RPF of real child characters, there's another website called Squigeworld that does the same. It has the same smarmy attitude about allowing it, and the mods on that website have even told people asking about and filing complaints that their accounts will be deleted. It really does go to show you these people will only ever fight for their right to write child porn.

And in related news, a single person scraped AO3's entire look, but pink, showing that you don't need hundreds of thousands to do that. This is the only website that does NOT allow RPF of real children. Their underage tag is only for teenagers 16 and over (or if the canon age allows it, such as ASOIAF). It was started back in September. It only has a few hundred users so far, but I wish them luck.

 

[Chandelier]

Logic Clearly Dictates has been completed. This one racked up quite a few hits and has people pissing and shitting themselves over the ending. The biggest villain of this story was the bullshit characterization.

Spoiler: Chapters 22-24 - It's a Tradwife Life

The villains of this fic were so obvious a child could spot them. I was right about Salo being the mastermind behind the attacks and kidnapping on Viktor, because his anti-omega slut comments were so on brand for 'This One Is the Villain' no expectations were subverted. Hoskel did take me a bit by the wayside because he was so unimportant, and Finn, who leads the assassin element of the Chembarons, being taken out as easy as he was was pathetic. Both Salo and Hoskel go to prison and Shoola, the other token black who only shows up in this chapter, ponders whether they have killed a snake or a hydra.

Zaun is recovering and there's some existential bullshit about the nature of war and no the war wasn't fought by Zaunites but by those at the top - I told you, this was an Israel-Palestine reference - and they've nearly recovered thanks to Ekko and Jinx (and not Sky because fuck her). When Jayce and Viktor have reunion sex, Viktor has panic attacks over his capture and has to use 'Red' to tell his alpha to stop (and, to his credit, he does). There's going to be a feast and party over their wedding and Viktor's continued pregnancy, so everyone has to be happy about that. Viktor feels movement in his uterus and they squeal and clap like harpooned seals over the revelation. Viktor says he 'can't imagine a life' without his Alpha when, in the beginning, he resented being used as a broodmare. We simply forgot all those misgivings and unfairness regarding omegas the minute that Alpha Male penis got whipped out. It's quite a revealing trope: a man using his genitalia as a weapon to break the woman.

Chapter 23 starts with the gala and wedding feast. Viktor adores his wedding gown and views wearing it as tradition, making one wonder how the hell he's even trans to begin with when there's nothing he's transcending to begin with. After the festivities and drinking non-alcoholic beverages, our wedded pair decide to enjoy a re-enactment of their wedding night with even more cringe dialogue.

I decided to cut this wannabe smut scene early, because while it's not exactly NSFW, it makes up for it in cringe. There's a lot of literal hand holding and 'My love' and 'My Jayce' and yadda yadda. You get the picture.

That's quite impressive, taking off clothes in such a tight squeeze.

They're safe and warm and safe and their baby is safe and there's your HEA.

Chapter 24 starts with Viktor giving birth. He's having twins - shocker - and in this AU there is no natal care or any kind of ultrasound machines for omegas, even in the city of progress, so if by chance he'd have retarded babies they'd probably just be taken down to the forge to get incinerated. There really isn't much discussion of openly disabled babies or retarded ones in Omegaverse AUs. It's very eugenic.

He has two girls - because we know what girls at at birth, and can 'assign' a sex there - named Mina and Silvie. I guess their primary sex changes when they feel like it or when they enter kindergarten.

And that's it. They have a happy family and all is good in the world. Plot wise, this was an attempt at mimicking the Israel-Palestine conflict with the airstrikes and bombing and the author promptly dropped any serious discussion of that because she MIGHT have realized how stupid it sounded. Viktor here is just a damsel in distress in the worst of ways, and there wasn't any attempt at denying his feminization here. He's a broodmare sold for his uterus; he's called 'wife' and other feminine terms and the author wants us to think he's still male. That is a bigger villain than the main villains - all easily killed and written off - and the only reason people stayed was because of their first sex scene where Jayce put the police baton in for the first time. Other than that, this fic is utterly forgettable but is somehow popular because people adore ABO fics. They are all universally bad because they never want to address the underlying worldbuilding issues of their work. In this case, the biggest question was this: how can you promote equality between the two cities, while denying rights for an entire class of people and reducing them to their reproductive organs? How can you say it's a 'better world' for Undercity people when they do not enjoy those rights as omegas? Even slaves revolt. Omegas just accept their role as broodmares for this society and don't do anything about it. This was a character that was written as a scientific genius who also liked to invent things and that was promptly dropped after the third chapter. Why invent things that can change the world when all you're good for is giving birth? Quite a message to convey from people who insist no one should be limited based on their genitalia.

TL;DR it's fucking terrible. It's not even 'haha it's funny'. It's just bad.

---

From the same author that decided to include a subplot around AIDS comes a story involving an age gap and - I shit you not - a Sam Raimi 'Spiderman' reference. She also has a note where she can't even remember if a character knows how to suck dick or not, so let's have Ms. Lease here take it away. Lines for this fic include:
- his cock so thick and delicious, filling him, but also making him lighter—just cock, cock, cock.
- mold his heart as much as his cunt was being molded

Spoiler: Take My Other V Card, Daddy

We get a look into the life of a Dean's assistant: the busy schedules, the need to be a polyglot, keeping up to date on scientific discoveries, etc over drinking until dawn and puking into your dorm room bathroom. It's here 'with great power, comes great responsibility' is dropped and for the love of God keep Uncle Ben away from this.

Our dear assistant is having difficult with his love life...until a dashing councilor comes into his life and leaves his skin on fire. He finally has some delicious wet dreams and masturbatory fantasies after losing his anal virginity to said councilor.

I read the previous instalment and included it ITT; there's no need to read it as this one stands on its own. IIRC, he handed out his anal virginity vs his vagina because he got a little dysphoric and wanted to hide the fact he was a virgin. The previous fic built on the concept that Viktor was a slut, so he offered 'another hole' instead.

He can't stop thinking about that silver fox councilor and wishes he could see him; all he sees him in in are broadcasts and newspapers, and can't stop thinking about the beauty of him and his strong hips and strong physique as well as the genius within. There's a remark about how he suffers 'oppression from the system' and I really wonder what the fuck it is, because he was privileged before he got his femur broke. He enjoys a lofty position in society while Viktor talks about being a disabled Zaunite that would never get picked if not for him offering his anal services. He wants to give more and get more, but due to their social standards, that's not easy to do.

Luckily, they meet again during a Council meeting while Viktor acts as a human backpack for Heimerdinger, carrying plans to introduce potable water to a portion of Zaun (why this wasn't done earlier, one can only wonder) and Viktor remarks that he hates these meetings because he feels so at odds with their pomp and arrogance, despite doing this for several years (and being the one, in canon, to show Jayce around the Council chamber). Jayce greets him with a warm smile when he appears. His beard is trimmed and he's looking very snappy, with form-fitting clothing and pants to die for, and several instances of 'advanced age' is used, even though he's only 54 (he'd be considered middle aged. 'Advanced age' is like 80). For some reason, the author wrote Jayce spotting him and smiling at him twice, because fuck editing.

After the meeting, Jayce asks Heimerdinger if he can 'burrow' his assistant, and Viktor wishes he had a 'third arm with a laser' to blast a hole in the ground to swallow him whole because he's simultaneously embarrassed and turned on by the man who, by his admission, partially took his virginity. We get another description of how beautiful Jayce is, from 'golden brown eyes with beautiful lines besides the ends of his eyelashes' - which makes it seem his eyes are NEXT to his eyelashes - and he has a 'thick, fragrant neck' smelling of his perfume. Imagine James from Smiling Friends but taller, older, and browner. Also has a 'straight and sumptuous' large nose because of course he does.

Jayce doesn't cut corners: He comes right out with asking Viktor on a date. Before, he tells him if he had him as an assistant he'd 'never get any work done' and hoped Heimerdinger was good to him or else he'd 'get his hooks in him'. Viktor is flustered and his self-esteem can't compute why a man like him would ever go after an ugly duckling like him (tell me if you've seen this before). Viktor insists that they do it privately because Jayce dating a disabled Zaunite wouldn't look good for him, and Jayce goes 'fuck it', surprising and arousing Viktor with his devil-may-care attitude. When Jayce goes to hold his cheek, his hand is so large on this uwu boi's face that it nearly covers all of it, and he's both charmed and anxious that he occupies a place in the Councilor's mind. Despite this, he tells Jayce that the tabloids wouldn't be as forgiving, and sadly walks away. Jayce also looks said and says he'll see him around.

> He wasn't easily attracted to others
Unless they're well-endowed and know how to do anal. Then you're more charged up than a Jew realizing he won a bet.
> Expensive dinners, private massages, luxurious beds, thick lips
Look at you, the Pick Me ugly duckling wishes for a Miss Congeniality makeover. You're lucky those holes do a better job than your bones do.
> The pain a whistling annoying sound deep in his veins
??? Sounds like you need to get that checked out. Your veins shouldn't be sounding like an 80s keyboard.
> He couldn't reach far enough, and his spine ached when he tried to reach the hole behind him
1. Get a mirror. 2 Reach forward. 3. Get a toy. Sucks that your wingspan isn't as long as a natal male's, huh?

He continues with his tasks and the next night he finds himself wandering near the Councilor's office. Like a ghost (or Edward Cullen) he appears out of nowhere and spooks our little dood, causing him to drop the books he was supposed to drop off and clutches him by his itty bitty waist (that he says feels natural and that they belong there). He invites him in for tea, and bribes him with oolong and cream of sugar, promising to add some cream and sugar of his own (I'm kidding. Partially. It's a double entendre). They enter his office and we learn that it's very homey and personable, with diplomas and family photos decorating the walls. He leaves used mugs on table tops, making him more 'relatable' than the others. Also, I could have sworn they fucked in the same room in the other fic, but, assuming they did not, this place seems vaguely familiar.

They talk briefly over an air filtration project and take notes before Jayce asks him if he sees anyone at this time of night. From here, we get the blowjob scene.

Age gap aside, at least they're adults. I've read worse than this - and that's including the AIDS plot this author wrote.
> He felt childish embracing his own innocence, a spoiled brat who deserved some kind of punishment
These are contradictory sentences. You embrace the innocence of not sucking dick, but also want to be a brat regarding sexual matters. It's later written that he HAS watched porn and knows what sex IS, but has never sucked dick before. That's a fine plot point to have, but the tonal whiplash is getting me. He knows he's a shitty liar yet gets upset when Jayce calls him out? What?

> His many virtues to disguise his flaws
Virtues including what? You using the disabled card?
> He was terrible at lying
So why are you acting shocked that this man is outing you for being inexperienced with oral sex?

Uh oh, he's getting the casting couch treatment.

> The amount of light that reached his handsome, imposing face made him feel much, much smaller
Something to be said about FTMs always being made smaller in these scenes. I can never figure out why that is
> Have you ever sucked a dick before?
That's one way to start a scene.
> The caress was delicate, but not fragile; he did it as if he were a very, very precious creature
He's not fragile but he's being treated like he's fragile, after said character said he was too fragile. OK.

> This was where he belonged
Indeed. AFABs and sucking dick, name a better combo.
> His heart seemed to stop at the thought that it had already entered him, and precisely through the hole that would be most reluctant to accept an intrusion
What you're saying is that anal sex is 'unnatural' and not meant for penile sex, let alone one as large as his. Is that right? Am I hearing that vaginal sex is superior? Huh. Imagine that.
> With the enthusiasm it displayed
Wait until you read how it's described.

> What had he done that was so special to make this happen?
Offer anal on the first date.
> He had to open his jaw wider to fit his lips to the contours of his erection
He has to unhinge it like a python just to make it feel. The bonus? He'll finally get some Kim K lips.
> Heady and masculine
I told you: these people know what masculinity means and what it is when it comes to huffing balls. You never see 'masculine scent' used when they're writing about pussy getting eaten. They know.
> A cock thicker than his fist fit
TBF he has tiny hands, so a stress ball would be thicker than his hands.
> It was darker from the pumped blood, curving slightly to the left
He has a Grimace penis that tilts at a 45 degree angle. Any more and he'll be sued having the Golden Arches down there.

> The videos he had seen
So he knows what sex is, and knows in theory what a BJ is and how to do it. He's partially ashamed of admitting he's a virgin for it, despite being accused of being a slut. It can be a fine trope - but once again, the tonal whiplash undoes it.
> The ball fit comfortably in his mouth
Ah, so he doesn't have swingers with their own gravity, eh?
> It was a slightly astringent taste
Newsflash: his cum tastes like vinegar. Sucks you didn't get the pomegranate flavour.

> It seems you were born to suck my cock
Funny how that works.
> Sent the tip all the way down his throat, and he gagged
It's fine, he's got a 45 degree twist. He can naturally bend that shit like a bendy straw.
> The messy, animalistic aspect of simply plunging into that delicious cavern that was his mouth and being used as a rag doll was enough to make them both groan in unison
Born to suck dick and be a ragdoll and/or sex doll. Where have I seen this before?

> Moving him with more brutality
> The more Jayce took from him, caring only about his own pleasure, the more adored and hornier he felt
Something to be said about a trans man being a sex doll and a simple orifice to be used by the penis owner. All that talk about them being proud and independent people is lost in a haze of self-doubt and ceaseless comparisons of themselves with men. As one fic put it so succinctly, 'I'll show you who the real man is'.
> Getting messy and dirty like an animal desperate to nurse
Uh, I wouldn't be comparing BREASTFEEDING with sucking dick, because one is a mother nursing her offspring and the other is you pleasuring a male.
> Almost reaching the hilt
Hey, he's deepthroating on his first try! Those pornographic videos taught him well.
> Remaining partially hard
Not bad for a 57 year old man. At that age, men have a difficult time getting erections and have shorter stamina, but this man has the stamina of an 18-year-old boy and his balls have great holding capacity. Who needs nutrition when he is a portable cock kitchen?

> His heart pounding like his pussy
Could've swore I've seen that somewhere before.
> Even though, well, Viktor needed to be fucked at that exact moment, which wasn't happening
It would sound better if you just wrote, 'He needed to be fucked at that exact moment. It wasn't happening.'
> I so wanted to give you a nice dinner before fucking your virgin cunt
IIRC he only offered him tea and some gruff Alpha Male huffin' and puffin' before taking his anal virginity.

> I'm over 50, you know older people tend to be more stubborn?
And older males have difficulty keeping it up AND you start losing penile length as you age. Your foreskin will get as wrinkly as your crow's feet and it won't stay hard as long. Unlike Fujofrankenstein, which had a 50-year-old ejaculate THREE TIMES in a row without stopping, these two have a heart-to-heart about how beautiful our lil dood is and how he's worth the love.
> I couldn't understand what you wanted with an old man like me
Uh, you came onto him first? You caught him like a damsel in distress in the first one. Is it really romance when you popped that anal cherry like you were popping open a pizza pocket?

> His pale, thin chest
Start your counters for how many times he's described as white.
> This connection between us. I feel such a strong attraction to you that it's like there's a magnet between us
The floor is made of floor ahh sentence. "This connection - it's so strong it's like a magnet between us" is much better.
> I felt like putting a collar on you. Locking you in my office
Are you going to keep him in a bed for hours on end while you stream and talk about how shitty Piltover is?
> haven't I already tried you out?
What a way to show someone you're so attracted to them: compare them to something you bought at a store and 'tried out'. Combined with the collar comment, I don't think this guy is being very honest, here. He wants a collection of holes at his disposal. If this was all about his 'whole mind', where has he ever shown that he's brilliant? Literally nowhere.

> It's entirely unusual for someone like you to be attracted to someone like me
We've already been through this and you keep saying how you're so ugly and disabled and not pretty and blah blah blah. He fucked your ass, no questions asked. He wants your virgin white pussy. He wants to put a collar on you. You're clearly worth SOMETHING.
> His hands stopped at his waist, encapsulating it perfectly
Ah, it's this fucking line. How'd I know this would be in here? 'His waist was so small his thumbs met in the middle.'
> It seemed as if they had been made to stay there, a perfect fit - gears that complemented each other
Almost as if you have complementary genitalia.
> The shame of existing
Oh, for fuck's sake. What are we ashamed of now? You being disabled? A Zaunite? Trans? Poor fucking you. You're a self-hating victim at this point and I don't give a shit. Stick to him plowing that pussy like he's fertilizing it for the next winter.
> Before him was the perfect man for that
You cannot convince me this isn't hetslop but with a different label, because all the self-shame is something women, especially female genderspecials, love doing. People aren't here for that. They're here for the fucking.
> His spine was dislodging everything
How is he still alive, then?

> Their lips fit together like a puzzle, designed and created for this purpose
Well Jayce's lips are going to have to be a skin graft and/or organ donor because Viktor's lips are thin as fuck.
> A function in which coordinates didn't exist without an abscissa
An abscissa is the 'X' on a graph, and the ordinate is a Y. She's comparing their lips to functions in basic math, which might sound appropriate because tee hee they're both geniuses, but it's actually dumb as fuck. That's like me writing, 'their angles fit together like the Pythagorean theorem.'

> I lost one virginity in my boss's office, it's only fair I lose the other one here
So much for feeling shame and being self-hating. Once you get that pussy treated by Big Papi, all of that goes away.
> Fertility of dreams
There's a double entendre here, isn't there? He's going to go into LABOUR for his dreams, won't be? They were all ABORTED for this man, they were never CONCEIVED while he was around. He simply isn't COCKSURE like the cis man is.
> He always doubted the future because of his mind, his body, his health
Whoa, whoa, whoa. The one thing this character relied on was his genius; he's aware that he is and he makes sure other people know it. He uses it to get ahead despite the fact he is disabled. Where is this 'wahh, I'm a retard, a man needs to help me realize my true self' come from?

> The fear of leaving anyone more hurt when he met them
*The fear of leaving people behind if dead hurt more after meeting them
> He would say that he dreamed of, if he had that right, being able to connect with someone in the near future
In the previous fic, he was aware that he was viewed as a slut because of his position, despite being a virgin. He used that attitude against him to entice Jayce to fuck his ass. Now, it's a drain on his system because he isn't taken seriously and he wants to be loved 'for the person he is'. If that sounds tradwifey...it is.
> As if they wanted to devour each other's faces
OK who snuck in some bat salts?
> Now let the layer of hair gather on his chest and stomach
He's got a beer gut. I forgot about that. Being fat increases the estrogen in your body, meaning your male parts shrink. The more you know.

> Reveal his swollen pussy
> What a nice little pussy you have
Anyone remember 'The Owl and the Pussycat'? 'What a beautiful pussy you are, you are you are you are'.
> Every corner of his cunt being properly mapped
Damn. He's got a tongue as large and thick as his dick? He's a real bull!
> Even so far from the most sensitive part of a man
The funniest thing about this is that he doesn't realize that his g-spot being inside his vagina doesn't make him a man. Men's g-spots are in their asses. Men wouldn't know about g-spots in a vagina because they don't have one.

> The second was already testing him
This character has watched pornographic videos and has only masturbated a few times with our Councilor in mind. Aside from that, despite knowing what a trans identity is and taking steps to affirm it, he has no idea what his body is like. He never knew where the g-spot is. He tried fingering his anus and nearly broke his back instead of going forward or using a toy. The character consistency is all over the place. You can't even blame it on dysphoria; he just straight up doesn't know how his female body works.
> The center of his back detached from the table
I'm glad his spine can click and bend like a LEGO piece. Disability doesn't exist when you've got a tongue up your cooter.

> Detached himself from his cock
*Insert eraser next to bowling pin meme here*
> A sweet, slightly metallic liquid
If your pussy juice starts tasting like mercury, it's time to go to the CDC.
> I'm going to enter you slowly, okay?
What a gentleman. This was way tenderer than the prior fic, where he was all growly and alpha male when taking his asshole. It's almost as if he viewed the anus as something disposable and the vagina as more sacred.
> To confirm that he was fully aware of what they were doing
I have no idea what's going on in this paragraph. It sounds like a Joe Biden trail of thought.

> He wasn't going to be able to take it
You took it up your back door just fine. You're also gushing like a waterfall, so this will be fine too.
> Modifying his entire body to fit in there
Another variant of 'he moulded him to the shape of his dick' line, but I do like this one better.
> Like the systole and diastole of the heart
If we're using anatomy metaphors here, it's like the colon and sigmoid colon: you're connected together and serve a purpose, you just help push out shit.
> If it were possible to impale him all over
Now, now. Don't give him any ideas. Having 100 holes and 1 dick would be overwhelming for a guy.
> Just a piece of meat being used and satisfying the other
Interesting how the AFAB is the piece of meat and the dick owner is not. Almost as if the latter has full autonomy and is considered a full person, and the former is not. I should also point out that all the self-deprecation is absolutely female-coded, because a guy would just be happy he's having sex. All this talk of loss and losing people is, well, female-centric. You might think it's sexist, but it is true.

> He was so deep, how was it possible for someone to be so deep inside another?
Uh, because he's well-endowed? Because he has a big penis? Because you struggled to deepthroat him? The answer is right there.
> His cock so thick and delicious, filling him, but also making him lighter - just cock, cock, cock
These are all real lines.
> A voice in the back of his mind told him Jayce really cared about him
See the point I made above: all this talk of wanting to be loved and noticed and respected - while also wanting to be treated like a piece of meat - is all very female-oriented. If he was a man, he wouldn't care about being seen as a slut because men aren't treated the same way if they are. They are celebrated for it.
> Mold his heart as much as his cunt was being molded
Another real line.

> Delight gushing in every drop of blood
It ain't just gushing in blood, fam.
> So big and intrusive
And he wonders how he could 'reach so deep'. He also tells Jayce to ejaculate inside, despite Jayce already telling him he was going to go in raw and finish inside. The notion of him 'marking his territory' for this, but not for the anal sex fic is rather...interesting. Almost like one is the natural option and the other is not.

Wow. Who knew this got so touching? I will admit the BJ scene was nice - better than this, actually - but I don't mind a little fluff. This is a direct contrast to the prior instalment (and SensualLettuce's work posted above) but all the 'woe is me, will I get picked?' stuff continues to bother me. This man is supposed to be a genius, but he doesn't trust his mind? He watches porn and has no idea how his own body works? His spine rearranges like a Star Wars LEGO set and that's fine? He knows what a trans identity is and not the g-spot? What?

I cut the rest because it's just them sweet talking and going on that date. What I will include is this comment from a known shotacon in this fandom:

'Really good porn' this same user posts glowing reviews on a seven-year-old getting groomed by a full-grown adult. The epitome of 'please face the wall now'.

---

Another entry from the same author. It's got CNC but you can tell it was negotiated beforehand. No AIDS in this one, either. 'He felt the protrusion poking hot' is a real line.

Spoiler: My Boyfriend's Hot Protrusion

> Remove his back binder
He's got lung problems and back problems, but he'll be damned if he lets those titties flop around.

> Alcohol and a lack of signage could fool anyone
I'm pretty sure a drunk person would have to get deliberately lost because their lab is located in a secluded area. This is the first clue that leads the reader to know this is a pre-arranged scenario.
> The richest, most powerful people in the city insisted on separating them into classes and disadvantaged their peers with dirty streets
> He knew very well how these people judged him - poor, disabled, 'likely a criminal'
The funny thing is, the Council is majority minority. There are two black women, a white-Asian woman, a guy from a species that was wiped out by magic genocide, two white men, and a yordle. This white pooner just wants to call them 'fucking niggers' and 'fucking Spics are out here ruining my city.'

> Without any permission, I managed to get in here
You answered your own question; Councilors have the right to go wherever they want without permission.
> What matters brings you here, Councilor?
You already asked that.
> He sometimes had difficulty understand people's true intentions when they weren't clear with their words
So you're autistic and are physically unable to read faces.

> Even with two of his hands, his wrist was unable to be moved
You can thank that 44% strength differential.
> Did he want to take advantage of him to distract and steal part of his work?
You know this is a role play because why would anyone give a shit about a Zaunite that, according to him, doesn't even exist? And to answer your question: yes, he wants to take advantage of you. It's not that hard.


> If you were my partner, I wouldn't let you work
You gonna give him a collar and tie him to the bed after you hobble him?
> He was clean, well-groomed, with an academic background
If you looked like a dirty bum with lice in your hair, of course no one would want to fuck you.
> Some people had fetishes attached to individuals who were more fragile in terms of health
You don't fucking say. Why would people have those fetishes, I wonder?

> He felt the protrusion poking hot
Imagine if he pulled out a can of silly string or one of those giant tubes of sugar. That would be subverting expectations.
> Assumed he was the object of desire, the one to be impaled
What a line. Now, why would a fragile thing like you be impaled?
> Trying to calculate that size inside him
It's OK, it's the size of a silly string can. Not safe for children and keep the damn thing away from clowns.
> I want to do you, sweetheart
He said calmly.

> His palm fit perfectly against the meat of it
That's because he doesn't have one.
> You should go back to where you came from
WHOA WHOA WHOA. No need to call ICE there, girl! Put the phone down!
> Big, girthy, just how Viktor would imagine him to be
Going with the taller men = bigger dick thing. It's 2D:4D ratio, fam.

> Ginger moisturizer
Hey, look at that! That 12 inch Hispanic Hog tastes like gingersnaps! Deepthroating has never tasted so good.
> Throw his head back and shatter in discord
??? This isn't English.
> Musky and masculine
Again, this author knows what men are when it comes to sucking their balls, but having female anatomy doesn't make you masculine. A pussy is a pussy, but dick and balls? That makes you a man.
> He felt the thickness entering his throat, scraping against its walls, suffocating him until his nose reached his groin
> He thought the Councilor would shave all the way down
If the dick doesn't make you pass out, choking on a pube hair ball will do you in.
> Take it like the slut you are
Something something this only applying to AFABs something something

> What would his reputation be like if he were seen sucking a dick like it was his only mission in life?
You'd be seen as a slut. Simple as.
> As an animal, as something to be mistreated
Funny how his keeps happening to the one designated as the 'bottom'. BTW, that em dash use? Sounds a little sussy...you AI, nakura?
> Redness and purple
Hey you might look like you had a fight with Grimace and the Hamburglar over the spot at the McPlayPlace but at least that dick tasted like ginger! Oh, wait. It's astringent now? OK.
> Continuing his trajectory as a mere object of pleasure
Funny how this keeps happening.

> Perhaps that was his place. It was what he deserved, for being so vulnerable and weak, so easy to manhandle like that
Now, why would someone like him be easy to manhandle? He doesn't want to be treated as fragile, but it's suddenly okay when Mr. Masculine Male Manly Man does it? Hmm
> The grunt of satisfaction the man had purred between his legs
A grunt isn't a purr.
> I don't want it, nngh, I don't
Me when I think I can eat another Baconator:


> What made you like this? Was it kneeling for me? Sucking a dick thicker than your boyfriend's? The idea of being raped?
Holy assumptions, Batman. What makes you think he only wants men? Second, this isn't 'sexy' dirty talk. Asking someone if they were traumatized due to rape, then calling them a 'random whore' is just sadism. To no one's surprise, this character was indeed traumatized by another penis owner.
> Determined not to follow his biology
LMAO. If you did, you wouldn't be calling yourself a man here.
> His natural instinct to accept a pleasure he hadn't asked for
This entire sentence could be cut and nothing would change. It never even made sense to begin with, anyways.
> Or do you want to be torn apart by my cock?
This sounds less like dirty talk and more like a bunch of rape threats.

> His size not fully entering with the first thrust
When you get spooked, your vaginal muscles clench. He's lucky he didn't get stuck.
> Words praising his body, his beauty, how perfect his pussy was and made for him
Yeah you were just called a dirty slut and asked if you were slutty because of a rape but he called you ~beautiful~ and that's all that matters.

> I bet everyone dreams of having their time with you
That would mean that everyone acknowledged his existence. They don't.
> Tightest pussy of all Piltover and the Undercity combined
Sounds like he's speaking from experience. Hope you get an STD test.
> Pleasure in imagining that he was so attracted that the other couldn't hold back and needed to take him
The classic, 'you were so beautiful I couldn't help but rape you' trope. You know someone loves you when they say that.

> Pulled him on his cock by the neck
Like a wine bottle? Now I'm wondering about the physics.
> Your body is so responsive, so perfect. Made for me to fuck
Almost as if you have complementary genitalia.
> His feet pointing upwards, suspended in the air
I assume he's on his back, because that's quite a position if he's on his stomach.
> Look how deep I am
I'm sure you can dig for oil in Alaska with that man meat, buddy.

> The tip of his cock so deep it kissed his cervix
Thought it went up to his belly button.
> Everything was too much, but not enough
Cliché.
> Say you want to get pregnant by a Councilor, with no chance of being anything other than my wife
It's OK to misgender a pooner and reduce them to their reproductive organs if you are handsome and have a big dick. It's gender affirming abuse!

Oh, that's nice. He's just a lovable, dog, see. Just don't feed him blood and he won't turn on you. During their cuddle session, Viktor internally admits that he sometimes disassociates even after the fact due to trauma, and admits there are times he is afraid of Jayce. Given that he was choked out multiple times - that would lead to brain damage - his fears are not unfounded. He then gets talked into filming a wannabe rape scene with the kink involving blackmail. One gets the impression he doesn't want to do it, but does anyways, because AFABs can't tell 'cis' men and their musky balls no.

---

I've covered this author before, and her works are a little...creative. This multi-chapter fic takes inspiration from My Crazy Ex Girlfriend, but is 100% Goyim Only. How do you like My Crazy Ex Professor?

Spoiler: Chapter 1 - A Waist So Small His Thumbs Met in the Middle

You're a farm hand and you're wearing BLACK during the height of summer? Someone inherited the low IQ of their Mexican ancestors.
> Vito
I was wondering if this was a Sopranos reference, but it wasn't. This is just Old Man Viktor but with a different name. Did you know they're also trans?

> Pulling out weeds with his bare hands
Is there not any farm equipment? No tractors, no fertilizer? It's a big-ass farm and you are the LONE Mexican working it? Press X to doubt.
> Drip irrigation system to make it more efficient
Why didn't you do it earlier? This farm has to be running at a deficit if it's one of the few that doesn't hire illegals to work it. They hire you, a mixed race Mexican, to work it alone, and they can't buy a tractor? OK, then.
> Once shared that his husband had sculpted the thing in retaliation to their crops being stolen and feasted upon
Sounds like you needed to declare a war against sparrows and pigeons Great Leap Forward style by banging pots and pans all day and shooting the birds. But in all seriousness - get a fucking scarecrow. They aren't there for no reason. Better yet, get a greenhouse!

> Jude
Of course the 'husband' is named Jude. That is 100% a pooner name.
> His failed attempt at having a child with his late husband
Aha, see? It's a trans man, too! An old trans man who is a pillar of their community wanted to settle down and be a tradwife on the farm. Men can get pregnant too, bigots. He wanted to be an Aryan Pooner in a Wheat Field.

> The ripest peace is wasted in the hands of someone who has outgrown their taste for it
I wonder if this is a reference to 'Call Me By Your Name'. Peaches are often used as an allegory for sex, and it doesn't help that they look like asses. This is all a reference to how Jayce threw aside his 'husband' - the ripest peach - so he can live a better life. The Mexican version of Eve plucking the apple from the snake, if you will.

Nothing like being told by a character named after a character who went to gay clubs while being married that you should forgive an emotionally abusive partner because their 'peach juice' was too sweet.
> It grates on his nerves whenever other people hear the story from Viktor's perspective
On the totem pole of oppression, you as a mixed race Mexican still come lower than the trans person, even if they are white. People are more likely to feel bad for the pooner who got rejected than the Mexican farm hand who isn't illegal.

> His wide-brimmed hat with a red ribbon
Very masc.
> No need to act like you're helpless
He only gets away with this because he's leaning more into his female sex. Were he a man, no one would believe his shit.
> His long, chestnut hair is tied back into a loose and low braid
This author isn't even trying to keep him masculine. This is just Aryan Farmhand Shania Twain.

> He can't deny how stunning Viktor looks. He's wearing a white sleeveless sundress that perfectly hugs his small waist
Before you ask...yes, the author does use the 'his waist was so small his thumbs met in the middle' line. I am now screencapping every instance I find it. Also, very masc, for a 'trans man' to wear a sundress that highlights their feminine features!

> I normally eat with more decorum
Uh huh. I bet you have some nice tongue action when you lick the cream off a doughtnut.
> Have you ever tasted anything so sweet?
Get it? He's referencing his vagina juice. What Mexican can deny good vagina juice in that summer heat?

> Knowing how sickly his ex-husband used to be. He reminds himself that Viktor has done worse
And yet he knows he can't do anything because it wouldn't look good in front of a court. "Mexican man beats up trans ex-husband." The mob would take the side of the troon every time.
> How unfortunate that you have to die without getting what you want
Ow, the edge. Summoning Shadow the Hedgehog, are we?
> Proceeds to wrap his hands around Viktor's small waist - so small that his fingers and thumbs still touch -
This. Fucking. Line. I should be goddamn nigger rich by now at how often its used.
> His pale legs
Gotta highlight how white he is.

> He still has his vest from earlier, and he uses it to wipe his mouth
I'm sure he's going to use it for other nefarious purposes.

> Hides his tongue from saying something brutally honest
"That dick of yours ain't colonizing SHIT, white boy"

You have to love how Viktor here is almost like Sharon Stone's character from Basic Instinct: mysterious, confident, and sure of their sex appeal to make every man around them go wild. In this case, he's offering up pooner pussy that leaks enough juice to be its own irrigation system. Who can resist?

> His cheeks fill with red
He's not blushing due to embarrassment, but rather pride that his sex appeal still hits.
> Don't insult me by treating me like I'm stupid
You DID wear black in the middle of high summer while working on a farm. That's pretty stupid.

> I was fantasizing about riding you
Well, damn.
> How is he meant to resist this?
It's hard to uninstall Call of Duty: White Pussy when their waist is so small your thumbs meet in the middle and their pale legs are so small your hands circle around them like they're pool noodles. It's hard to resist Dollar General Shania Twain.
> It would be so easy to break Viktor like this or bend him in any position
Nothing like breaking an uwu so smol dood's bones like you're snapping a reed. Comes with the territory, doesn't it, ese?

> There's venom in everything he digs his nails into, and Jayce is one of those things
And he knows he can't say or do anything because that's a hate crime.
> He can't stop the blood from rushing south at the thought that Viktor must've hoped that Jayce would bend him over one of the peach trees and take him right there
I was about to make a peach juice joke, but the author beat me to it with the 'he'd just slide right in' statement.
> At the center is a small gold charm
Damn, he got his underwear embellished? I wonder how the dry cleaners deal with that one.

> I have one made for every single underwear I own
That's rather creative, and something Kim K would do. He got all his lingerie embellished with Jayce's insignia to make sure he's his property - and to remind him that he can never let that white pussy go, literally.
> Ride my fingers like you'd ride my dick
Ah, these classic lines.
> Would take every opportunity to drink Viktor's juices straight from the source
You'll never have to worry about dehydration every again. Just bring your pet pooner and drink that pussy juice like it's Gatorade. It's filled with electrolytes!

> I want you to get on your knees and suck my dick
I'm glad the surgery he got eliminated his disability, because he can now crouch to suck dick as he pleases.
> He sucks dick like it's an experiment
This is a real line.
> Swallows every drop as the sun sinks completely over the horizon, and the first cluster of stars pierce the night sky
Dick sucking so good you speedrun the sunset like a Michael Bay film.

> How was he supposed to fight against a vortex on his own?
White pussy do be like that.
> His mouth tastes like bitter cum, the softness of peaches, and the sweetness of pineapples
Have your Mexican fruit picker eat some pomegranates and you'll be tasting a smoothie. It's also an aphrodisiac so you can go longer than you're used to. Everyone wins!
> Fertile but polluted land
If the land is polluted, it's not fertile. We don't know what kind of pollutants are in the soil but it's obvious nothing else is growing there aside from weeds and that yellow flower. That doesn't mean the land is fertile; it just means those specific plants adapted to the soil. That's like arguing the soil near Chernobyl is fertile when only a few plants grow due to radiation poisoning.

> It's like Jayce has forgotten everything Viktor has done to him
> Why does he keep falling for it?
White pussy do be like that. The skinwalker reference is an added bonus because it's funny reading a fic about a trans man being a manipulative sociopath who's only in it for the sex. Usually they're a collection of holes to be fucked. This time around, the hole is the one pulling around the pole. Basic Instinct sure did take a new path in this reboot.

---

This one I'm just going to skip to the 'juicy' bits, and by bits I mean watersports. The formatting looks like it was done on Notes and I always want to eat a lithium battery every time I see it. Same author wrote a shotacon fic and I don't know why I keep getting surprised at her degeneracy. She's also a very shitty artist, too.

Spoiler: Bear Grylls Piss Challenge

We start with Jayce's routine: he goes to bed early and wakes up early. He enjoys working out and staying inside to work on projects. He talks about Viktor and how he took to him immediately, loving his shared enthusiasm and love of science. There's talk of past flings he had with women and how they were just 'stress relief'. Ximena also takes to Viktor and she tells Jayce that she knows he's besotted and that he should make the first move. Initially he's wary, but does it anyways, and realizes his fears are unfounded. They take to each other likes flies to shit.

> Enjoyed dominating him, got a kick out of scruffing the back of his neck and holding his face down into the mattress
Such a mystery why that is. Why would a man enjoy doing that to a person of gender?
> Finds pleasure in the fragility of Viktor's mind
His mind isn't fragile. This is supposed to be a BDSM fic, so why are you making the 'submissive' mentally broken?
> Doesn't stop needing a dom
There really is something to be said here about a True and Honest Man needing an actual man to dominate them. I juuuuuuuust can't put my finger on it.


> Deep red collar
> Relaxing into his own role as his submissive
Next you'll tell me you've upgraded to a shock collar and a whip.
> Never be able to hold such control over someone himself
Oh? I wonder why that is.
> The lithe stretch of neck, pale and dotted with the faintest splashes of moles
A neck only Marie Antoinette would love.

> He used to kneel during this time
BDSM erases disability, I see. Who needs the ADA when you can just have a gimp work out your kinks?

> The smell is strong, a whole night's worth of piss with the addition of two mugs of black coffee
Bear Grylls would be proud. He's been holding it in the entire night and decides to use the designated submissive - that he really treats like property - as a toilet. Drinking urine like that is bad for your kidneys. Adding kidney failure to your BDSM session might be fine in practice, but not for your hospital bill.
> Still stilling with a mouth full of dark urine
I'll admit, this made me gag. Old piss and coffee would taste awful.

> He's gulping instantly
I gagged again. Gross. Something tells me this author is familiar with drinking day old piss outside of a survival setting.

> Aiming at the back of his throat so he can swallow propery
I can't wait until he gets hepatitis.
> Maybe times he won't allow Viktor to drink at all
That's abuse. The fact he won't let him drink and remain thirsty, while admitting to being fully embarrassed at being pissed on like a tree - and it isn't lost on me how the 'dom' here acts like a MALE dog - doesn't sound like a mutually agreed on dynamic. It's a fragile woman wanting to be 'led on' by the dom - who is almost always male - and have decisions made for them. Not abusive at all, no sir.

> His pleasure no longer revolves around his own body
> Made to feel like a desperate slut before the actual man
Hmm, I wonder what the author could possible mean by all this? Surely there's nothing to read into this any farther than what's on the screen. We should just take the Bear Grylls' challenge from a shotacon at face value.

---

Earlier ITT I mentioned Kinktober being the largest it's ever been in years. There are some late additions, but we can safely say it clocked in at almost 19k fics this year. Prior years only had 5-7k on average. The top fandoms for Kinktober were Original Works, Harry Potter (stay winning, TERF queen), MHA, and Genshin Impact.

It also clocked in 180k fics for the M/M section, when prior months had around 90-120k. There has been some growth in the past few months, and I'll give you a guess as to what the top fandoms are. Hint: it's still Queen TERF's works leading.

ITT, I posted about AO3 allowing RPF of real children. This user admits that multiple rape fics of them were posted on the website when they were 13 and were not removed. They had their address leaked in the comments.

 

[Chandelier]

Lukewarmoatmeal has come out with the second chapter of her delayed Haunted House fic, with Rekki beta-reading. Luke stated that she was 'nervous' around the smut when one of her most popular fics has over 1k bookmarks. The first chapter was pretty solid, but this is where the spice really comes in. Have a glass of milk ready. I should warn you that the word 'rabbit' is used 29 times for this chapter alone. The lines for this fic are:
- "Look at me while I breed you. Look at me while I fuck a baby into you and make you mine forever."

Spoiler: Chapter 2 - Donnie Darko Dick Down

> We can have fun without this loser
This pretty much means she knew they were getting down-n-dirty in the previous chapter. Mascara doesn't run like that unless something else was running down below.

> Thrill of risk or not, spending the weekend in jail
I wonder who is more likely to end up in said jail: the Hispanic man in a cheap rabbit costume with psycho makeup, or the white disabled pooner. The Human Rights Commission is going to be splitting hairs over this.
> Object of desire to its obsessor. Little rabbit to its butcher
God, not the fucking queercatfan dialogue. "He swallows it down in favour of playing his part: an object of desire to its obsessor, a little rabbit for its butcher. COLONS ARE YOUR FRIEND


> Stands a tall figure in a rabbit mask
Keep the eye hole tidbit in mind, because even though the light doesn't improve, you can actually see Jayce's eyes. He's wearing dark makeup around them, despite this instance making it seem as if you can't. In any case, all I can think of is the Donnie Darko rabbit - a fitting reference - but he doesn't even go the whole way. He's just wearing a mask, some gloves and jeans. You brought Wranglers to a fucking costume party? What a loser!
> Been hunting you, bunny
Start your drinking contest, because, as stated above, she uses variations of this word over 30 times. She did this in 'The Hat Rule' and Rekki did not tell her to cut it out.

> Loosen up by playing with that little rabbit toy of yours
If you really wanted to hammer home the camp, have him mention the model and battery life. It's something he would do.
> You never close the window after your shower
All I can think of is a 6'2 man struggling to squeeze through an apartment window with a shitty Polaroid camera be bought off of Amazon to take pictures of a masturbating pooner. Man surely is thirsty.
> I took your cum-ruined panties for a souvenir
I regret to inform you they won't be tasting like peppermint. It'll taste like stale onions.

Eh, she does the drama well. But then we get our 'you cannot fast travel when enemies are nearby' scene:

Pfft This 6'2 man sure does know how to sneak around. Has he considered dressing up as Ezio Auditore next year?

Earlier, the mask was described as having two 'deep, dark holes', but now in the UV it's just a Party City mask and he's wearing the same makeup the Winter Soldier does.
> Meets the solid, obvious erection caged by rough denim
He's wearing jeans while wearing a rabbit outfit, trying to mimic a butcher, when he could be wearing a full rabbit suit and lean into the 'fucked up rabbit becomes a butcher and hunts down small white (wo)man to fuck them'. It's Halloween - lean into it!
> Such a pretty little rabbit
No hips, no ass, no lips...but at least that jaw can unhinge so wide Jason Voorhees can stick his machete inside.

> Watches his throat work around black nitrile
Get ready, because he's gonna be going to town on that police baton.

> His cock is thick and heavy in the shifting light, flushed a deep reddish-purple that almost seems to pulse in time with the red LEDs
So he's got a Grimace cock AND it has a built-in strobe feature. Big enough to place an epilepsy warning on it, too.
> It's rigid, jutting out from a thatch of dark, unkept curls
If he's as big and hard as he is, why wouldn't be be rigid? Have a line about being so rigid he could smash those mirrors; THAT would really sell it. Him being uncircumcised is also funny because most Hispanic men are not circumcised.

> Open your mouth. Wider than you did for my fingers
Pretty sure he can't open it any further unless he unhinged his jaw.
> The weight of him on his tongue is substantial
I bet if you measured it, it'd be over ten lbs.
> He tries to relax his jaw, to accommodate the sheer size
Let me guess. He's the 12'' thick, 4'' wide Hispanic hog.
> You can take it
"It won't fit" 'I'll make it fit'

> The slick glide of skin.
Great. You can't even spare me the queercatfan shit during a blowjob scene. Here: "...thoughts going hazy, save for sensation alone: the slick glide of skin, the taste of him, the taste of his arousal - the feeling of being utterly used." Colons are your friend; they aren't just used for fucking.
> A primal, urgent taking
Something something the top being feral and the bottom being the uwu fragile one.
> He's rock hard, clit pulsing in time with the man's thrusts
Hey, you can have a strobe light dick-off! Albeit you'll be SOL because Donnie Darko here has a night stick and you have a rape whistle.
> Panic flares in Viktor's chest as his air is cut off
Imagine if this was a CSI episode. 'What was his cause of death?' 'Choking on dick.'
> The world begins to go fuzzy at the edges, the red and purple lights blurring into a kaleidoscope of color
Least you can say it was a gender affirming death, because you weren't being choked to death as a woman, but as a hole.

> It's like you were made for me
Almost as if you have complementary genitalia.
> The way his cock seems to swell even larger in his mouth and the heavy balls slapping against his chin go taut
Probably it has to do with that large Snickers vein on the underside swelling up like a tire. What happens when it gets nicked by a tooth?
> Hot, salty pulse of cum
What, no peppermint this time?
> It's a lot, more than he expected and some of it escapes
How much do you think a man produces? Prettybadmagic thought 5mL was 'above average' when that IS the average. Let's just assume it's enough to be a pint.
> Notes how he's still hard, still thick and heavy
Yeah, no. Men don't work that way. He'd need at least ten minutes. Assuming he's not on any party drugs, men are not invincible and, contrary to your smut fics, do not ejaculate in rapid succession while remaining hard. The only way they do that is on designer drugs.
> Giant frame preventing him from looking into the one across from them
He's just uwu so smol.

> The cool air hits his wet, throbbing pussy
Does that glow in the dark, too?

> So fucking wet, just from choking on my cock
Hell, you can add it as a single sentence and it still works.
> He tastes musky and sweet
I notice that the male is 'salty', but the female one is 'sweet'. What, no 'masculine taste' to those pussy juices? You can't even gender affirm a vagina? Pathetic.
> He rubs the length of his still hard cock up
He must've huffed something in the backrooms because with a penis as big as him, it'll take a while to get all that blood flowing. If he came a gallon of cum, that man needs five minutes. This implies he can just keep going with no issue.
> If he thought he'd been thick in his mouth, it was nothing compared to the stretch he's feeling now
...why would it be nothing? Your vagina can stretch better than your mouth. You were almost going lock jaw on that dick.
> It's a good pain, a sweet pain that makes him feel alive and owned
Pooners and being owned by cis men. Name a better duo or a better trope.

> Getting a feel for the shape inside him
Missed opportunity to use the 'he carved the shape of his dick inside him' cliché.
> It's just like I said - you were made for me
Almost as if you have complementary genitalia.
> His lips are swollen and red
Who needs Botox when deepthroating a 12 incher will do it better? Never worry about seabird-shit thin lips when you've got a Latino in Wranglers and a Party City bunny mask!

> How closely had be been watching? Did he take notes on all the little things that made him tick?
Yes? He told you that? He showed you a picture of you masturbating? Not to be outdone, Luke and Rekki write this AGAIN and do not realize that this question was already answered because Jayce already told him as part of the roleplay. There's fucked stupid and there is fucking stupid.
> Just enough to put light pressure on Viktor's carotid and make him feel dizzy
Yeah, no. 'Light pressure' on a MAJOR ARTERY can knock you out. What do you think the carotid artery does, fucker? IT SENDS BLOOD TO THE BRAIN. It takes 11 POUNDS OF PRESSURE TO KNOCK SOMEONE OUT.

> J-J~
This nickname is fucking stupid. 'Mr. Rabbit' sounds hotter because it really does suggest a stranger is doing it. Whenever I see characters stutter it makes me think of an anime version of Simple Jack from Tropic Thunder.
> He wants Viktor to feel the denial, to understand how much control he has over his body
Commas, semicolons and colons are your friend.

> To know he's been studied intensely, to have his most intimate, private moments catalogued and measured...it's terrifying
He just asked how this Donnie Darko Dickhead knew everything about him right after he told him he knew everything about him. Hell, he just did in the prior paragraph!
> It's the most profound sense of validation he's ever felt. To be seen, truly seen, in a way no one else ever has
It's not creepy when your stalker has a big dick.
> The hand on his cock leaves
Rape whistle to night stick, remember that.

> A strong, sharp jaw dusted with a five o'clock shadow
You know what would have made this hotter? Having the mask tilted up just so you can only see his Chad chin. We, the audience, know that this is a scene and they mutually agreed to it, but having Viktor see that it's his boyfriend spoils the moment. It also makes your scene redundant because having your boyfriend be your stalker is weird. Keep the mask on.
> The hand on his cock
What did I just say?
> He's learned Viktor's body from afar
We know. You've said it three times.

> Lifting him with an ease that shouldn't be possible
You are barely 100 lbs soaking wet. The fuck you mean it isn't possible?
> I'll chain you to my bed if I have to. I'll care for you just like a pet
Hot. You better get ready to clean out those bed sores and piss and shit stains with Oxi-Clean because if this boi is your rabbit, he's going to shit on command.
> Look at me while I breed you. Look at me while I fuck a baby into you and make you mine forever
There's that tradwife life we all know and love.

> His head fills with visions of domesticity; of being the perfect little stay-at-home wife for a man he barely knows
You have to love these people: this is written by a trans 'man', and yet she doesn't even want to use the term 'husband' for a character she projects onto. She reduces said character to their reproductive organs and constructs a tradwife fantasy - chains included! - as if his only purpose is to shit out children. That's honestly the bigger horror than a rabbit man in Walmart jeans fucking you in a hall of mirrors.
> Stares at him with a possessive, manic hunger
You know what happens when your diet is exclusively rabbit? You get protein poisoning. Enjoy shitting yourself at the same frequency as if you had dysentery.

> Squeezing around his softening length
Oh so NOW he softens. What was the occasion? That he roared while ejaculating this time around? Or did someone take the air pump out of that dick vein?

> I don't think I can go back to vanilla
> Had a fantasy of knocking up his 'boyfriend' with female anatomy and making hem their tradwife
Buddy. That's the DEFINITION of vanilla. Can this really be considered kinky if your mask was from Party City and you stayed in WALMART JEANS?!

They get a text from Sky asking them where they are because they are bone tired and ready to head home. Both women notice Viktor's soiled makeup and he makes a shitty excuse over 'crying'. Jayce offers to take Viktor home while they get rideshares, and they simultaneously shriek as they both discover they fucked in there. The fic ends.

Verdict:
- this would have been better had the mask stayed on because it would have kept the scene a scene
- a better rabbit costume resembling the Donnie Darko rabbit
- no Walmart jeans; if you must have jeans, have them ripped up or rugged
- if he's a butcher, give him an apron
- No tradwife talk. This really undid the entire thing. I was vibing until the author started writing about Viktor wondering how his stalker knew who he was THREE TIMES and then it really crashed with the pregnancy shit. Don't bitch about vanilla shit when making the trans man a tradwife isn't just indicative of what you really think and want.
- the term 'rabbit' was used 29 times, 'bunny' 5, 'pleasure' 8. Not as bad as The Hat Rule, but I reiterate, the tradwife shit did it in. It really took me out of it. There's no better way than confirming you don't even see the character you project yourself onto as a man when you call them a 'wife' and reduce them to giving birth. It's the definition of self-defeating. Same author talks about Catholic guilt when she really wants to be a Catholic wife after all, she just can't find a big dicked Catholic Latino.

---

Tell me if you haven't seen this before: a man takes on a bet to give his roommate unlimited orgasms, because said roommate has never experienced orgasms during traditional PIV sex. It's got heartfelt confessions, a lovable, well-endowed male partner, and a vow to be better than all men before him. A true NYT bestseller. The most heterosexual thing I've ever read.

TL;DR this is an absolute slog. While there is no sexual assault and there are some very tender moments here, it is a CHORE to get through. It's almost as boring as queercatfan's work 'Oathbreaker' and that's not a title you want. It's not terrible, but it takes forever to get to the rewards. 100% skippable.

Spoiler: Double O Seven

The couple is lying in bed and they are bitching about Heimerdinger's nagging while nagging like old women themselves. He rang them up at 9 pm for an idea he got out of the blue and they are complaining that they'd rather sleep than be with him. Jayce makes a comment about how he 'gets' how Heimerdinger's husband (yordles marry now) left him, and Viktor says that's a bit much. Jayce apologizes, but not before stressing he wanted to use the time to spend with his mother. When he asks Viktor why he was late, Viktor says he was 'on a date'. Jayce goes quiet due to innate jealousy and will always remark about how he 'deserves better'. Viktor ponders about the double standards: he has to keep his love life private, but Jayce can bring his flings to the apartment for sex. He likes his hookups quick and fast to scratch that itch, remarking that the one he really wants is unavailable, before letting it loose that he doesn't orgasm during sex.

Jayce jumps on this immediately, interrogating him on how this happens and why no one gave him an orgasm. Viktor is embarrassed - lambasting how it's 'unfair' that Jayce is so hot while asking him these questions - and we get into our little dare.

> He hates Jayce
> (There's) No one he trusts more, no one he wants more, no one he loves more
Sounds like you hate commas more than you have O-Face Lover Boy here.
> It morphs into anger
> Is the thought of him having sex so abhorrent?
No, he's just engaging in the trope of the 'cis' man getting angry at other men for not making his object of affection orgasm. That's literally the bane of all M/F fics; he can make her squirt when no others can. Same rules apply here regardless of the tags.

> I typically pretend
Now, which sex feels the need to do that? Which sex is known for having an orgasm gap compared to men? I wonder why the trans man that may or may not be on testosterone is having issues masturbating. When they aren't squirting out California's yearly water supply, they're dry as a bone until Chad Thundercock gives them some tongue action.

"I'm not like those lazy motherfuckers. I can make you cum all day long!" I told you, this is a basic bitch trope. They complain about sex being vanilla yet this is the mot vanilla thing I can think of.

> So he decides to end it and extricate himself as soon as fucking possible
Queercatfan curse strikes again.

> He needs to concentrate; needs to remind himself why this is the worst idea anything in the history of the world has ever had
Genocide, slavery and mass starvation are up there but I guess denied orgasms are the true crime against humanity.
> (...)to remember that he's been in love with Jayce - has been for years - and that crossing this line for a silly bet would break his heart irreparably
All because your female sex put you in the orgasm gap. Sucks to have an innie and not an outie.
> But his stupid body is betraying him, because the image of Jayce moving between his legs and focusing all his burning, unwavering attention on pleasuring him is heady in its potency
Should've hired me as your beta-reader.
> He wants to push it - wants to see where it can go and how far Jayce would take it to prove a point
See? Much better.

> We stay friends so this doesn't make this weird
Much better.

> Kissing Jayce would not help, especially not in the way he described it
You know a comma would work just as well as making a related sentence a new sentence, right?

> Like he's discovering that magic is, after all, real
This is the sappiest fic I've ever read AND it has the added curse of queercatfan sentence structure. I am choking not on tears but how this shit reads.

> Do you know what you do to me every time you walk around in that shirt?
You can. Stop. Talking. Like. You are. Communicating. In. Morse. Code.
> Sucking on his pale skin
I was wondering when we'd see all the references to how pale he is.
> Suddenly, his eyes fill with tears
Awww look how sensitive and fragile this whole fic is All because he couldn't get his pussy wet.

> Would've been embarrassed at how wet he was
Well you're already losing the bet if you're getting that wet already - and in record time! Your vagina must be operating on Mario Cart Rainbow Road logic.

> Laps up his arousal like a man starved
Cliché. So far, no talk about 'Woke Kings' or other bullshit.

> Fits it in his mouth easily and sucks
Well, yeah. It's barely 2 inches - and that is implying he is even on T. If not, it's even smaller.
> His partners falter and try doing different things which simply don't work
The main theme of this fic is the classic, 'these men can't make you come but I can'. The orgasm gap is solely in the lap of the AFAB.

> Has a distinct thought that if his finger makes him feel this full, he'll never survive his cock
Just like the prior trope, this fic also uses the 'handsome male friend has the biggest dick of all prior partners', and Viktor even acknowledges this.
> Can't wait to fill you up for real, baby,, you're gonna take me so well
In which the 'for real' statement implies that only a dick can fill up a vagina. Very heteronormative!
> He won't have to live with the consequences of it for the rest of his life
They were already sharing a bed and were oddly close despite being 'best friends'. What consequences are we talking about, and why does it always affect the trans man, and not the 'cis' man, if transphobia does not exist in this universe?

> He never did know what was best for him
Funny how that works.
> It makes him want to weep
I told you this was insanely sappy, even for a trans fic. It ticks off every box:
- AFAB is incapable of achieving orgasm with prior male partners.
- Male friend is told this and takes it upon himself to give said orgasm to AFAB.
- Said male friend is well-endowed, more well-endowed than prior male partners and brags about it
- Cries and weeps about being treated so well and how said masculine, beefy, huge man is so gentle.
Peak hetslop with a different barcode.

> It seems that stopping is the farthest thing from his mind
Hell no. Once that dick comes out it's like gravity: it's only going one way.
> Let it be something he'll get to hold on forever; let it be enough for a lifetime.
Semicolons are your friend.

> With partners, he would indulge them for a bit and fake a moan or two, and cringe with relief as soon as they moved on
I wonder which sex feels compelled to do that. I have mentioned the orgasm gap a few times and the author doesn't realize she outs Viktor as female by doing this. It also shows that if you have big muscles and are handsome as Jayce here, you can (literally) come buckets. You can scratch that off the checklist, too: an AFAB that fakes their orgasms because they are not sexually attracted to those men until a 10/10 comes along, a literal Greek god, and rocks their world.

> He'll have to keep telling him what he want
Well, yeah. He isn't a mind reader. That's the one thing men always complain about women: that women don't tell them what they want and they have to ASSUME what they want.
> It looks even bigger like this. Thicker and longer, and Viktor sighs
As did I, dear dood. As did I.
> Of course it is - he is one of those men you take one look at and know they're big and heavy and thick
Height doesn't have a strong correlation with penile size. They assume he's huge because they go by the tall= big dick thing. It's 2D:4D ratio, fam.

> I wanted to say I'm clean
Yeah imagine if they started this off by going, 'Sorry man, but I have herpes'.

Compared to PBM's work below, this is really a walk in the park. It's so tender and sweet as to rot your mouth with cavities. It's so female-brained that it almost makes me want to turn into a pastor proclaiming that the 19th needs to be repealed. It's not rape or pedophilia - thank God - but damn does it go on forever.

> Trigger another tidal wave of pleasure that drags him under
I can think of another tidal wave that's going to be unleashed.

> Never stops telling him how good he's doing
That's nice, but one thing I noticed in this fic is that he never fucking stops talking. That is especially true during the 'pounding that pussy so hard the headboard breaks' scene. Men are too busy locked in! They're not debating the actions of the Roman Emperors with you!
> If he can't get enough even though he's just come twice, what does this mean for the future?
It means you're a nymphomaniac and Chad Thundercock here is the only one who can do the job.
> Jayce is still hard, seemingly painfully so
Normally I'd roll my eyes and say that this isn't possible, but he's been sitting there talking the whole time that it must've gotten soft from boredom alone.
> He was never good at this; expressing his desires, even after attempting to sound sexy and seductive, has never come easily to him
You're autistic. When you try to sound sexy you just sound like Chris-Chan. You're welcome.

> Accept this as a sign that Jayce doesn't actually want him
Oh for fuck's sake. He's been confessing his undying love for you this entire fucking time. 12k words of 'he loves me, he loves me not' really does grate on you.
> This has been a lot and I'm so close I'm afraid I'll come as soon as I'm inside you
And? You're still hard after you came the first time. You'll just respawn at base.

> He knows that nothing will be able to compare to this
No shit. You've got a Greek God with a big dick ready to go down on you - multiple times, in fact - and is the literal definition of a gentleman. You scored big time on the heterosexual lottery and you might as well cash it in.

> Heimerdinger
Nothing like thinking about a sentient furby to get your dick down. He should try thinking about Fistulissa.
> He feels a wave of affection wash over him as his gesture
> He had been sleeping with assholes before
See? It's every basic bitch heterosexual romance right down to 'my prior lovers all sucked because they couldn't make me come'. Change the names and it'll become a NY Times bestseller.

> Labia
That word is always safe to use, for some reason, even if there isn't as much emphasis on roidclits here than in other fics. Still, it's something to note.

> I'm ready to collect on my win
It's tax free pussy, too. The IRS won't look in your direction.

> The last thing preventing him from submitting fully and letting him do whatever he wants
Funny how it's always the AFAB that has to submit, and not the male.
> Kissing Jayce Talis while he's buried balls deep inside Viktor
I waited this entire time for the smut to get spicy and all I get is Freudian couch talk. What a goddamn bore.
> He tastes like a mixture of mint and coffee and something tangy
His vagina juice tastes like mint and coffee? You learn something new every day.

There's another box to check off: the man wanting the vagina-owner to be exclusively his, because no other man can possibly compare to him. The possessiveness and want is second-to-none, why would the person ever entertain straying?
> This can't be real, can it?
You asked that a few pages ago. The answer is yes: it's real, and it's your Disney princess fantasy come to life.

> Slamming into him so hard he can barely concentrate on breathing
Right, and this guy is confessing his whole heart out while he's drilling for coffee and mint. He must've rolled on endurance because most men are just drilling for the sake of it and not, you know, writing poetry Prince Albert style.

After they finish, Viktor gets a thought of cleaning Jayce up with his mouth and deepthroating him again - a thought that makes his head spin - but is interrupted when Jayce tells him to stop spiraling over whether Jayce will change his mind over his confessions during post-nut clarity. Jayce then asks if he was too rough and Viktor tells him to stop spiraling in turn. They talk some more and DAMN is it boring. I have never been so bored outside of queercatfan's stuff.

I don't mind top Jayce when he is like this - caring, perceptive, and willing to perform and is not a possessive asshole at all - and while the author was worried about writing non repetitive smut, her biggest issue is that it takes FOREVER to get to the goods. There are varying layers to bad fanfic, and one of the overlooked traits is when a fanfic is a slog to get through. I've read long fics where I whiz through them because they're dynamic and stuff is easy to summarize. This one, though? A slog through and through.

---

Prettybadmagic got fanart for this new fic. As you can imagine, it's fucking terrible. The lines for this fic include:

Spoiler: Not every guy gets eight girthy inches that devastate most orifices.

- As president of the Alpha Sigma chapter of Chi Psi, it's his mission to rebrand frat life. Part of that was destigmatizing queerness, but he still ends up as the butt of a lot of shitty jokes.
- routine frat prez business, aka the arcane art of socialization.
- googled do trans guys have dicks or pussies and discovered the answer was that not all trans men get bottom surgery, so it was anyone's guess
- He's tall and lean and smells like dessert, if dessert is a vanilla lemon cake with like, essence of rosemary. Sweet and herbal and bright and delectable.
- Mr. Cisgender Golden Boy Hunk of the Year.
- his kitty nose looks hella kissable.
- He gets stuck and flops onto his back, bony hips writhing beneath his slacks, a trail of dark hair leading up to his xylophone ribs.
- a huge hulking man collapsing onto a skin and bones twink.
- Hard is a dick word, and wet is a pussy word
- He was born knowing what to do with his mouth. It feels right to suck, like really suck, because it's actually much easier to suck a small cock than a big one.
- uses his last scraps of oxygen and jaw strength to go absolutely berserk on dick. He wants to be framed and hung in his mental hall of orgasm fame, ahead of anyone who's ever had the honor of being facedown between his legs.
- His pussy goes berserk and warm liquid spurts down his neck onto his chest
- It's a really wet situation, and it smells a lot like liquor.
- looks even cuter when he's slinging ten dollar words during post-O bliss.
- non-committal despite the fury of his cock
- Not every guy gets eight girthy inches that devastate most orifices. He’s at peak capacity right now, blood pushing his meat to veiny stiffness.
- begins an act that’s definitely blowjob adjacent.
- The image of his face impaled on his dick is enough spank bank fodder to last a millenia.
- legs naturally part to spread his slick pussy on Jayce’s raging meat.
- Even if he doesn’t nut, it counts as sex. They’re fucking even without furious humping.

Spoiler

Dat yaoi body be spittin'

Spoiler: Hard is a dick word, wet is a pussy word

> He regrets coming out as bisexual like six days out of seven
There's the Colleen Hoover wordsmithing we all know and love.
> Part of that was destigmatizing queerness
Right. And how do you do that? Act like a big alpha male that will ram his dick into a - I kid you not - xylophone twink.

> Has made his disdain for Greek life known
It's the pederasty element, isn't it?
> How the proceeds from their parties go to different charities, such as the local shelter for runaway queer kids
I love how PBM is trying to sound like the exact opposite of 4chan while being a rape-supporter and shotacon. You can talk about how progressive your version of this character is all you like - it doesn't change the fact you made him a rapist in your most popular one and talked about how he was 'white-passing'.
> Like when Dmitri asked whether Viktor had a dick
"You can be racist all you want, but I draw the line at transphobia."
> Jayce had to step in to make sure Dmitri didn't show hog in broad daylight
No, no, do it. If Viktor says he is a man, he can tolerate it. Just guys being dudes, right?
> Googled do trans guys have dicks or pussies
Don't google how big their 't-dicks' get or bacterial vaginosis. Or how their pussies get dried out from testosterone yet seemingly gush like a broken hydrant anyways.

> The haircut Viktor calls chud light
You can fuck right off, you Auschwitz-Birkenau bitch.
> Like, don't you wanna see Jayce in his underwear?
Like? Like like? Like if you wanna write like a man, like stop, like, writing like this?

> His costume was a headband of fuzzy cat ears
Get it? He's a pussy! It's a double entendre
> He's gorgeous
> Later describes him as a twink skeleton and that he has 'xylophone ribs'. You look so hot looking like Vietnam-era John McCain.
> Kiss his cheek and pretend it was something bros did to bros
It's something Slavs are known to do. It's not romantic at all. Maybe spend more time on 4chan forums, you One Drop Rule cunt.
> Being so well-dressed while everyone else is close to naked. A scrawny, skeletal nerd conked out on the couch alone
You want me to believe this individual is 'gorgeous' and 'so fucking hot' while he looks like he crawled out of Sobibor? You can miss me with that shit.

> Only as some whack joke
Newsflash, PBM, but you ain't black, and 'whack' is for the blacks. Stay in your lane, white girl.
> The alpha of Chi Psi, his brothers like to joke
HAHAH GET IT IT'S BECAUSE HE'S AN ALPHA MALE. A REAL MANLY MAN. THE REAL CHAD.
> The transphobe. He said, let's make up, Eastern European to Eastern European
Funny how PBM will make transphobia to be a terrible thing, but she won't apologize for making Sky a mammy in her fics and calling Jayce a 'white-passing Mexican' who also raped Viktor. She'll draw the line at transphobia but not for 'teehee, it was a shitpost' 4chan joke.

> He's wanted to stick his dick inside Viktor for months subconsciously, but it leaps to the surface. Pussy, ass, mouth - whatever Viktor is offering
Very progressive, assuming he had a vagina.
> Mr. Cisgender Golden Boy Hunk of the Year
If you really want to get down and dirty with it, PBM, you are literally writing straight sex. You have the hunky alpha male 'cis' male ready to go to pound town on white pussy; there is nothing straighter than that, the the fanart you got for this confirms it. It's the yaoi meme in action.
> Total vixen
Vixens are FEMALE FOXES, you retard. You are OUTING AND DEADNAMING YOUR SELF-INSERT FROM A CANID.

Respect for any sexual partner, regardless of gender
Funny how there are still only two options: hard for dick, and wet for pussy. Very binary there. Very TERFy. Are you a TERF on top of being a pedophile, PBM?
> Like
> It's like
Like? Can you stop writing your sentences, like? Stop talking like you're a high schooler when you're in your 30s? Like like like like like
> Rubs his little feline face against his chest. Chopped optics. Pulverized
You know what chopped optics are? Writing a popular fic that has a white queer talk about how he's more oppressed than a black man and snapping at a black woman who acts like your slave because she exists. Pulverized optics is trying to mock 4chan while ending up sounding like a racist progressive who will demand that niggers stay off her property. THOSE are chopped optics, bitch.

> I'm rolling with disadvantage on dexterity
Lol he's such a nerd, silly. He's referencing DnD!
> But like
SHUT THE FUCK UP WITH 'BUT LIKE?' YOU ARE AN ADULT. NOT A TEENAGER. SHUT UP.
> His kitty nose looks hella kissable
I think you should off yourself with your hella cringe lines.

> A trail of dark hair leading up to his xylophone ribs
You are telling me with utmost seriousness that this is a gorgeous person when he's skinnier than a Japanese POW who just got done working a 20-hour shift building the bridge over the River Kwai. No, he is not 'really, really hot' he needs to eat, like, a hella big burger.
> Flat as a pancake, with red scars running beneath his non-existent pecs
HELLA HOT, AMIRITE? SMOKIN HOT, LOOK AT THOSE GAINS BRO, ENOUGH TO MAKE THE CHUDS SALIVATE
> So small and skinny and skittish
He's just uwu so smol and you're so big and your hands are so big your thumbs can meet in the middle
> There isn't really much room for a dick in Viktor's thigh gripping pants
It's funny that these authors, even if they are trans, refuse to give Viktor a phalloplasty. It's like they know, deep down, that penis-in-vagina sex is the default and the vagina owner must instinctively give themselves up for the penis owner. Very progressive.

> What he would usually call a clit - because yes, Jayce totally knows where it is
So glad Mr. Cisgender Frat Boy and Woke King knows where the clit is!
> It is bigger on Viktor. Like, super red and swollen
That's because, like, it's the testosterone dude. It's, like, known for doing that to clitorises.
> Regardless of what it's called
Woke King here doesn't realize it's called a t-dick. He must be sent to re-education camp immediately.
> Sucking Viktor's cock is as instinctual as the kiss
> He was born knowing what to do with his mouth
Knowing this author is a pedophile, you'll always see little tells where she barely hides her fetish for underage shit. This is one of them. It would sound innocuous to an outsider, but ever since 'unblooded girlchild', you are on the lookout for it.
> Doll-sized waist with both hands
Fucking called it. This bitch is utterly predictable.
> A pussy that basically devours Jayce down to the knuckle
Oh, so a Pac-Man pussy.
> Uses his last scraps of oxygen and jaw strength to go absolutely berserk on Viktor's dick
He doesn't need that much effort given that it's only 2 inches.

> His nut brings a deluge with it. His pussy goes berserk and warm liquid spurts down Jayce's neck onto his chest
Did you know it tastes like liquor? Mr. Lahey would like to know your location from the great Shit Haven beyond.
> He realizes he might have nerfed Viktor
I want you shoved off the map like Octane flies off on Olympus. I will not revive your ass.
> Oh I know you're like, trans
Like, shut the fuck up. Men, like, barely talk like this and, like, even circuit queens make an attempt to sound, like, normal.
> Not that, Woke King
So Woke you made the Latino a rapist and had your Whitey McQueer #1 Oppressed tell a black man he was more oppressed. You are totally owning the chuds, like hella owning. Like slave-owning owning.

> Looks even cuter when he's slinging ten dollar words during post-O bliss
I don't even know what this is in reference to. Is he making a joke about how Eastern Europeans are known for being cheap prostitutes?
> Pale skin hugging sharp bones
Hugging? No, fam, that shit is so tight you could've used it for the Challenger mission and those people would be saved. Skin so thin and tight Ukraine could use it to bounce off Russian artillery. Skin so thin that he makes a Walmart chicken thigh look sumptuous with RFK Jr. approval.
> He's definitely cranked it thinking of Viktor
> Like a dead wife flashback
Are you stuck in 1945? Because that's the only dead wife thing I can think of. You also have to love the feminization here; the one time PBM wrote Viktor as a male, she made him a gooner; when she writes him as trans, he gets misgendered even in Mr. Chad Cis Male's thoughts. How sad.
> Like, how can this be real
Like, how do grown ass women write like this?

> I am not well-practiced in the arm of wooing frat boys
Gummy liquors and the spirit of Jim Lahey will work wonders.
> Does that make us boyfriends
No, because one of you has to be male.

> Succeeds in bringing Jayce to full brick
Nobody writes like this, AO3 Colleen Hoover. Like, stop this shitticane.
> Not every guy gets eight girthy inches that devastate most orifices.
So he's the same size as he is in M4M. Not the legendary 12 inches and beyond, but he is usually 8 inches in her fics.
> Pushing his meat to veiny stiffness
What happens when I come in with a very big needle, superheated thanks to an acetylene torch, and pop that vein?
> Begins an act that's definitely blowjob adjacent
"We all laugh at our son's big balls"
> It's arrhythmic, and toothy. Pretty slobbery, too
So you're telling me your pussycat sucks dick like a dog. OK.
> The image of his face impaled on Jayce's dick is enough spank bank fodder to last a millennia
She uses this line a lot. It's like, as bad as unblooded girlchild.
> He's like, kinda drunk
You can, like, type this normally and, like, not sound like a California native from the 80s.
> He's thinking about how fucking cute Viktor is
Yeah those xylophone ribs are so hot, bro. Getting all the dudes bricked up and ready to delete their System 32s.

> For some reason it feels sacreligious to exhibit Viktor like that
Because your fellow dudebros would love some easy pussy - er, open holes, right? We're going GOLFING, bro!

> I know what you are, bro
"Because, like, being attracted to pussy even if it belongs to someone identifying as a man doesn't make you gay, bro. Being gay means you have to, like, be the same sex, dude. If you aren't the same sex it's spicy straight sex, YKWIM?
> he like, squirts
Cool. Loan him out to California for their wildfire season.
> Good luck scoring, uh, hole?
Very sexy. "Yeah I'm gonna SLAM that front hole, dude, ride that wave like I'm in Hawaii, man!"
> He's got plenty of holes
He's a bonus hole boy, dood
> Don't come back unless there's like, murder
Like, stop talking like that. It's, like, totally annoying.
> Human male
Oh so HE knows what human men are. Males = dick owners. If Jayce called him a human female, what do you think his reaction would be? 'Transphobia is uncool, bro! You're committing total genocide, dude!'

> Like lucid
Like, eat a brick, yo
> His bros would never let him live it down
That shitty costume would be a -10 on the scoreboard, my man. Tim Curry is disappointed.
> And like, just to confirm, you're consenting, right?
So glad we care about consent and not, like, subtly misgendering someone by calling them fragile and cute and in need of protection.

> He realizes that Viktor is, like, super special...a delicate, minorly incapacitated man
He's just uwu so smol. Like, bro, calling him incapacitated in that incidence sounds like you're saying he's like that because he's disabled. Are you, like, ableist on top of being a 4chan race queen?
> His legs naturally part to spread his slick pussy on Jayce's raging meat
That sounds soooooooooooooo hetereosexual, bro, like fuuuuck
> Jayce is big, but he can make this work
If you can go show boating in Lake Michigan, you're a loser.
> Even if he doesn't nut, it counts as sex. They're fucking even without furious humping
Somebody should tell Woke King here that coitus interruptus is a thing.

> Thank fuck. Oh My God
Me realizing that this is the end
> Mel took a part of Jayce's soul when they did this
It's that black Voodoo magic. Now he's getting that white juju-juices.
> And the most gorgeous. It was pretty much, like, I knew the moment I saw you
Like, you wrote him as having xylophone ribs. That's like, unhealthy dude. Give him a sandwich, bro.
> It's like, okay, you're beautiful, but it's more than that
He's literally a stack of bones but OK.
> His cock freaks out
Most men would when they realize they're fucking Elie Wiesel.

> Be a trans man
> Get raped
Never a dull moment. You make the Latino a rapist to own the Chuds, now you're making the trans man a rape victim to own the transphobes. Amazing.

A vixen is a FEMALE FOX. Nice deadnaming your tranny rape victim, dude. Hella uncool. Your Woke King needs, to, like, attend more sessions. The author also needs to drop the 'scrumptious junk' tag because there's nothing scrumptious about thinking you're about to eat a protuberant pussy and all you get is 7/11 beef jerky. The cheap, shitty kind. Like naw, bro, might as well chew on a bone like the dog you are in the other fic. Ain't nothing nutritious about that. RFJ Jr officially sanctions that pussy.

---

A user on the AO3 subreddit asks if the police can get involved over pedophilic fanfics. I can tell you that no, they really can't, but let's not fool ourselves here: this shit occupies a grey area where you cannot be charged with a crime, but everyone knows what you are masturbating to. To no one's surprise, the thread was locked.

It likely won't happen on Ao3, but I do remember the purge that happened in 2012 on FFnet where underage fics were purged. Seeing the examples posted here by other users, it seems they've become lax on it again. AO3 won't do shit because, as I posted ITT, they will allow RPF of actual children - actual victims - to be posted and will take it as free speech absolutism. CP isn't free speech.

Now, I am not a MHA fan, but I am aware that it has a nastier fandom than Arcane does. This artist (whose art I like, some pieces are nice, and others are creepy) posted her contribution to a MHA piss zine. This was the writing involved:

It's as bad as you can expect.

 

[Dr. Alan Grant]

There is a fanfiction of some sorts where a guy was isekai'd into Minecraft, back in 2014 I got the first installement as a Christmas Present when I was 10. Yes it's published, self published as most fanfictions are,

https://markcheverton.com/minecraft-books/

I rememnber those, of all the places I got it at costco when I was a kid, it's actually about his son, and to not grief/online cyberbully.
I remember they even made a server included its adress in the book. played on it ages ago. Good times

 

[pro drivor]

So now we have a 'fuck or die' situation where if he doesn't get dicked down his hormones will be so out of whack he'll perish. Redundant, I know. Omegas in this universe cannot survive being celibate. They must be bred or else.

i dont wanna live anymore

 

[Dr. Arinsu]

I rememnber those, of all the places I got it at costco when I was a kid, it's actually about his son, and to not grief/online cyberbully.
I remember they even made a server included its adress in the book. played on it ages ago. Good times

Wait there was a server?! Damn. I wish I had a Minecraft account back then. It was actually one of the good fanfictions imo.

 

[Max Caulfield]

"Look at me while I breed you. Look at me while I fuck a baby into you

This has always been my favorite turn of phrase because it just sounds like the guy's using an small child as a condom or he's trying to use his dick to push an unrelated infant into a woman's vaginal cavity, sexually.

Like a well-timed cough would cause all sorts of confusion.

 

[Dr. Arinsu]

This has always been my favorite turn of phrase because it just sounds like the guy's using an small child as a condom or he's trying to use his dick to push an unrelated infant into a woman's vaginal cavity, sexually.

Like a well-timed cough would cause all sorts of confusion.

It sounds like those poor ai generated chatbots or whatever these people say the bots speak like.

 

[Max Caulfield]

It sounds like those poor ai generated chatbots or whatever these people say the bots speak like.

No it's been around a lot longer than that.

Quick edict: Cross-post betwixt here and a certain thread, used the term in a admittedly drunk paragraph;

In the words of FanFiction Horrors, Slungus22, I am going to rape a baby *Long string of loud, obnoxious, hacking caughs* directly into your infertile anal womb. I'm gonna paste your internal organs with my chunky cheesy malodorous sebum, all the while screaming, pitched high, directly into your eyes and ears before slowing my desperate humping, sucking hard on your abominable kike nose, drilling my fat, coffee-stained tongue into your nostrils, sucking out the boogers and spitting them back in your before I prematurely dry-bust like Sting from The Police (I think that was the band he was in). After that I'm going to wrap your engorged (2025) trans form with packing tape, duck-free duct tape, electric tape, piano wire and silly string round a table. Take a sample of your AB negative blood, compress in between two pokemon cards, licking so passionately pikachu ad charizard before penetrating your recessed chest with my razor-sharp david bowie knife, splitting you well and wide open, maw to gash, splaying each organ individually before however the fuck you spell that french word la piece di resistaunce or whatever, popping each of my 10,000 barely legal pimples directly into them. A chacuterie of grostesqurie so awful and unbecoming human life, that i will be remembered for decades to come, or at least until the next news cycle.

Please R8 my writing thx

 

[Chandelier]

PussySquirter9000 wrote this one-handed in the bathroom. No, really; she's so busy she actually did it while in the cubicle on break. Featuring magical semen acting as an aphrodisiac. The lines for this fic are:
- his pussy milking his fat cock against his will, hungry for the older man's cum.
- presses down on his belly again, watching as his spunk gushes out from his sloppy pussy.
- "Does it feel good to have your pussy marinating in cum every day? You will look so good when it takes and you are round and heavy with my child."
- He feels as if his mind is being dominated by the irrational hunger in his womb.
- It's as if getting pumped with cum is a trigger now

Spoiler: Seminal Sloshing and Cervical Caulking

> If Viktor wanted the disgraced professor's knowledge on magic, he would have to...please him
It's really something how so many of these stories has the out and proud trans character always being forced to get on their knees to please the dick haver in order to get what they want.
> Did no one ever teach you how to properly please a man?
Define 'man' here. I think you know exactly what that means, because if there's anyone who holds the power here, it's the penis owner. Big Dick Energy = Big Dick Control.

> Nothing but rumours or at the graves of those who once tried to harness the illegal power
This doesn't make sense. "Nothing but rumours or the graves of those who tried to harness such power" is better. Just because you wrote this one-handed doesn't mean it shouldn't be proofread.

> This is one area he has to admit to having no experience whatsoever, never allowing himself the time or need to present himself to another person
You wrote that already.
> The scent thick and virile
> The precum briny and bitter
> Masculine scent
Oh, so we know exactly what 'masculine' means: seminal volume and taste, virility, and cock. Cock = male and they fucking know it, because you never see this language go the other way.
> Wrapping his slender hands around the exposed part he cannot fit
His hands are just uwu so smol. He's so pale and pretty and dainty and white and -

> His fat cock shoves past Viktor's tight throat and into his esophagus
I don't think this author knows what the esophagus. It would mean his fully erect penis is capable of bending at a 90 degree angle. I doubt that Mr. Virile Ballsac here would enjoy having that 12 incher snapped in two and having to get it fixed from a surgeon.
> Milking more cum out, his esophagus thick and sticky with seed
Might as well drink paint thinner at this point.
> Accustomed to being on his knees in front of his desk, a cock deep down his throat
> Be a trans man
> All you're good for is sucking cock
The fact that the penis owner gets a thrill over seeing the AFAB choke, cry and gag on his penis while calling him a slut is a nice misogynistic touch. If you think that's bad, oh, dear reader, it gets better.
> Licks at his cock like it's those hard candies Viktor's so fond of
He has less of a chance of choking on them than Mr. Virile Ballsac over here.

> Exposing the soft and milky skin underneath
I was wondering whether we'd get a white skin reference.
> The wonderful, small swell of his breasts visible from the opening
> Small, pillowy soft tits
To be pillowy you have to have some fat there. He's an A-cup so that isn't happening.
> Amber doe eyes
Here we go with the infantilization.
> His wet and warm throat
Funny how that's all he's reduced to.
> A perfect little whore
See point above. It's always used in a derogatory manner towards females, never males. You can use that trans tag all you want, but this will always out the character this way.

> Fucking his tiny tits
A-cups, remember.
> I imagine you would look even better when you're leaking milk from them, nice and round with my child inside you
There's the tradwife shit we know and love. The farther this goes on, the more openly misogynistic Jayce becomes, and then he starts misgendering our brave True and Honest Man.
> A whore deserves to be recognized for his good behaviour
First he was an inexperienced virgin, now he's a whore despite only staying with you. You're making him do so much labour.
> His face and breasts a lovely pearlescent mess of Jayce's cum
So he got the pearl necklace treatment. Also notice that his disability isn't mentioned, either; he just kneels with ease because who needs that when you can have Virile McDick paint his esophagus like it's a Van Gough painting?

> It is more pain than pleasure
Normally this is a sign to up and leave, but he has to stay because Jayce has something he wants.
> He had only ever seen them as a nuisance and something he wished to be rid of
Right. But then your Virile Ballsac Bendy Straw starts calling you 'good girl' and that isn't genocide because, uh, he's hot?
> It's as if the cum Jayce enthusiastically continues to rub against them has some magical properties
Magical semen. You get something new every day.
> Being perpetually aroused and wet is not doing his mental state any favours
> His cunt will not stop pulsing with need
90 penile angles, magical semen, hungry Pac-Man pussies. What's next? Gender-affirming misgendering!

> Any thoughts of resisting him seem so faded out with the sweet ache of his pussy
This doesn't make sense. Yeah, I get that magic semen makes your protuberant pussy lips act like a Megan Thee Stallion song, but come on. Were you taking a shit and masturbating while writing this?
> Playing with the fat folds
*protuberant pussy lips arises*
> His fingers much, much thicker and rougher than his own
Because he's so dainty and small and his fingers are only ever built for writing, painting, sewing and doing feminine things.
> So wet
> You were already soaked before I started, weren't you?
Redundant.
> That's a good girl
Ah, here we go. Misgendering is OK provided you've got the eight inches meant for destroying orifices. Why think of a retort when the actual male here won't give a shit?

> Fucks his throat brutally, even with his gag reflex trained to submit
Hopefully that magical semen acts like super glue and can fix any bruising as soon as he swallows.
> His giant hand coming down to squeeze his neck tighter around him
That's just going to crush your dick too, because his throat is so dainty and thin you can see it bulge through the skin. Imagine him rushing to the ER with a dead pooner because he got too handsy and broke his neck and hs dick.
> The coppery flavour of his own slick
Ma'am, that is BLOOD. YOU ARE BLEEDING
> Such a lovely girl
Misgendering so good we have the 'his body betrayed him' trope. It ain't genocide if you squirt.

> Curses at his traitorous body
1. You said that already. 2. So vile that his misgenders you, which is literally genocide, and yet you get horny because men who are hot get a pass. It really does confirm that they want the female parts of themselves fucked back into them.

> Scorching hot and hard
> Scorching hot and wet inside him
When you're so horny you described his dick like a branding iron twice
> Smirks at him
He does that a lot.
> Pretty on his milky skin
We know he's white, thanks.
> The soft, swollen flesh of his entrance
> The large, rounded tip sinking into his soft and pliant entrance
If you think that's repetitive, wait until you get to the cum scenes. There's so much of it you'll wonder if you're in a dairy farm.
> Silent gesture of submission, still too proud and ashamed to voice his desire
This man is calling you a woman (which you are) and talks about how he wants to make you his tradwife. THAT doesn't set you off, but wanting to get fucked does. Logic.

> Is Jayce going to fuck him?
HE ALREADY IS, YOU DUMB FUCK. THE TIP IS ALREADY INSIDE
> Wrapping his slender fingers around him
> Wraps his giant hand around his
Literal yaoi proportions.
> That's a good girl
Fucking the woman back into a trans man is not transphobic if one of their own does it. They're just 'reclaiming themselves'. If anyone else says it, they're a disgusting bigot.
> The rest of his pussy is throbbing so hard, begging to be stretched and pounded, to feel the heat and thickness of Jayce's cock
You can always throw it into the washing machine where it can be stretched like a sock.
> Coating the entrance and the beginning of his channel with overflowing seed
His sperm really must be magical because he could sell it to the Amish and they wouldn't know a damn thing. The anal fingering also later turns into full-blown anal, because we can do that to the nymphomaniac pooner slut but not the man himself because Real Men Don't Get Their Prostates Milked.
> Perhaps you'll be knocked up just from this
Reducing a trans man to their reproductive organs is liberating and affirming when WE do it, chud!

> That's no way for a proper lady to talk
I told you: he's fucking the woman right back into him.
> His throbbing cunt
Throbbing, clenching, fluttering, pounding, milking, this thing is jumping like a Maytag machine.
> Just because his body is choosing to betray him like this
That's the third time you've written that.
> He's always wet for Jayce
> Sometimes, when he lies in his make-shift bed in the vacant room next to him, he looks at the hilt of his can and thinks -
Nice. He wants to masturbate with his own mobility aid. He won't need them once he's flush with children because disability magically goes away with the glow of pregnancy...right?
> do you want me to cum so deep inside you that you can feel it in your womb
You literally can't.

> Shoving the length of his cock inside in one go
> It feels like he's crushing his cervix against his womb
Then he really does have an excuse to scream. BTW, the cervix gets mentioned a lot in these next few screenshots, as its pounded, forced open, and has a spray of seminal fluid that could fix all the favelas in Brazil.

> He's dreamed about it, even when he didn't want to
The prior sentence where you wanted to stick your cane up your hooha shows that your masturbatory fantasies were 100% consensual.
> Twitching and squirting on his fat cock
You'll be seeing a lot of this, too.
> Large hand lightly wrapping around his slender neck
Ah, there's that white swan-neck that's so dainty and pretty only a woman could have it er, it's gender-affirming choking.
> Starts fucking into him hard and fast
> Slamming into Viktor mercilessly
Redundant.
> Viktor would be screaming with how hard he is pounding against his cervix
Realistically he would be, because the cervix is very sensitive.
> Pushing his womb down to meet his thrusts
The uterus doesn't work that way. It's not going to be 'pushed down' unless you want massive internal bleeding. It's tucked inside its little pocket. It ain't moving.
> If he reduces him to a shaking mess with just the tip of his cock
'If'? He is slamming that cervix like hoodrats slam an all-you-can-eat chicken buffet. The fuck you mean 'if'?

> I can feel you cumming around me
Pretty sure the entire house and the land it's on can feel the differential pressure from all that seminal volume.
> He imagines he can feel his cervix being forced open against the pressure
> If he's truly breaching through his cervix like how he feels it is
> Slamming hard against him to force the head of his cock onto his cervix
> His body gives a violent shudder as Jayce pushes harder against his cervix
I am begging these people to learn what the cervix is and what it does. It is not being forced open by the dorsal head or by extreme seminal volume. If you are getting it pounded that way, you will get it bruised and it might develop an infection. You are not going to be 'milking that fat cock' with your pussy, you are going to be screaming in pain. Then again, these same people get gender dysphoria over pap smears so no wonder they imagine the cervix to be like this sponge that can be pried open.
> His pussy milking his fat cock against Viktor's will, hungry for the older man's cum
It sure does milk that fat cock a lot.
> We might just make a good girl out of you yet
And your kids will end up retarded because your jism is still spoiled. You can ejaculate buckets all you like - it won't change its quality.

> Shoving his cock into him without warning at all
Marital rape. That is marital rape.
> His slacks have been traded in for dresses and skirts
Feminization and reducing a trans man to their reproductive is OK when ~we~ do it. We have diplomatic immunity, chud.
> No longer allowed to sleep by himself in the vacant room next door
So the 'cis' male, the dick owner and the one who retains all the power in this relationship, uses the AFAB as a fleshlight (it's either a fleshlight or a sex doll, take your pick) for the sole intent of siring children. He was a manipulative groomer this entire time and ONLY did this to someone he immediately clocked as female. He would not be doing this with another man.
> Wake to his pussy getting pounded, the cum Jayce left inside him overnight sloshing around in his womb and frothing at his entrace
IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY. YOUR UTERUS DOESN'T 'SLOSH' WITH SEMEN, THE VAGINA FILTERS AND PUSHES MOST OF IT OUT DUE TO THE pH BALANCE. Good to know that their bedroom smells like a New Jersey shoreline in the morning
> Feel how hard and fast his cock moves as it bulges out with every thrust in
Would it be like fucking a water bed due to all that semen?

> These tits will look so good when they start to leak
He said that already.
> Until his cockhead pushes against his cervix again
> Directly into his cervix
Seems like we have a cervical obsession. And no, that cervix is not being forced open.
> Pretty little mother
Makes one wonder how Jayce knew exactly which sex to use for the purposes of reproduction, gender identity aside.
> Promise for fresh cum to fill him again
On top of the day old stuff? New Jersey Shoreline, like I said.
> Entirely at the mercy of his cock splitting him open
Hopefully all that spoiled spunk gets let loose. It'd be like sloshing through a tar pit.
> He feels as if his mind is being dominated by the irrational hunger in his womb
What's that? You're being reduced to a retarded fucktoy that only feels the instinctual need to breed thanks to a virile male with bucket loads of semen? Wow! There's nothing to make of that, I'm sure!
> So delirious and eager to feel his womb stretch to Jayce's shape
That's not his shape, that's his cum.
> It's as if getting pumped with cum is a trigger now
I had to reference this line outside of the spoiler because it's that fucking wild. Fujos and their quotable lines. Always makes my day.

> Before the fresh spunk could leak out
> Caresses his cum-distended belly with one hand
Literal hentai proportions. No wonder this was written in the shitter while this bitch was working; she only wishes she could have the woman fucked back into her by a hot 40-year-old with a nice cottage and a dream of having four kids so Trump in his prime but even hotter. Nothing says 'trans men are men' by having them lose their intelligence and mind when they literally get fucked stupid and 'addicted to cum' and calling them wives and mothers when the cissies aren't looking. On top of the cervical obsession and the sheer amount of seminal volume here, if you quoted their words back to these people in a different context, they'd call you a transphobe. Yet they can write the nastiest shit, proving that they really DO want to be women and need a 'cis' man with large genitalia to 'make them feel like women'.

It gets to a point. Is this Viktor R. Cane, or is it their self-insert wishing for a RETVRN to tradition?

---

'Everyone has AIDS' Nakura is back at it again. It seems our theme today is 'feminization', so let's look at yet another instance of the woman-lite getting smashed by a DILF. Lines for this fic include:
- he would short-circuit with the way his ass was being obliterated with such firmness.

Spoiler: Only a DILF can touch me that way

> The threat of his feet was marked by a shoe print on Jayce's pants
He went straight for the nuts, I see. Gotta dampen down that virility a little.

> Making him feel so much smaller and weaker and...
Funny how this keeps happening. Why would you be smaller and weaker against an actual man if you are a man yourself?
> That feeling of having that larger hand circling his neck
Even with augments you cannot erase that swan neck.
> His hands slid deliciously to his waist, holding firm and covering such a larger area
'His waist was so small his thumbs met in the middle' ahh line.

> He had undergone body modification, changing his genitalia
> The natal male promptly makes a joke about how tiny his neo-dick is
Lol. Lmao.


> He wasn't fragile
No but you can't handle an actual male calling your neo-phallus small.
> How did he guess that he carried the pot in his pockets?
...you carry a pot of anal lube in your pocket?
> What was the point of fighting? It was better this way, wasn't it?
Are you getting philosophical before getting fucked in the ass? Wrong time, bud.
> Their tips reached a space inside him that didn't necessarily give physical pleasure, but that made his organs stir in pleasure
So he's getting physical pleasure.

> He wanted to be explored entirely inside and out
Your wish shall be granted when your Resistance DILF whips out a nightstick and you need to pull the 'It won't fit' 'I'll make it fit' line. Where's the spray bottle when you need it?
> The internal lubrication, tanks to his ingenious calculations
He gave himself a self lubricating asshole but didn't bother to construct a better or bigger penis, one that is promptly made fun of by the natal male. What do you mean by that, dear author?

> Amazed by how his body seemed like a little toy for the other, small and malleable
> Jayce's body was so massive on top of him that the most abrupt movement wouldn't move him
> Imagined himself as a human fleshlight, a mere toy in the other's hands
I love it when these authors paint the 'twink' here as the tiniest thing and don't think that these size differences highlight how extreme sexual dimorphism is. We know the bigger, larger and stronger one is the male, and the itsy bitsy one is the female. To add insult to injury, the natal male brags about ripping off the neo-phallus because nothing can compare to that natal Mexican man meat.
> You don't need it to be my bitch
You have to love it when fictional characters end up sounding transphobic when the author doesn't mean it. What do you mean that the 'cis' male here is bragging about making a trans man a bitch? I thought phalloplasties were indistinguishable from the real thing!

> He no longer knew how his insides were accepting the man. How was it possible that there was so much inside him
...you made yourself a self-lubricating asshole. Why are you asking when you planned for this event?
> Nor how his spine would be the next day
This doesn't make sense, because he's augmented by now. He doesn't have to worry about his spine breaking.
> That Jayce dominated him, marked and soiled his small body
He's just uwu so smol compared to the big, masculine, sweaty, big-dicked 'cis' male.
> I don't even need to touch your little cock. Maybe it's better to reverse your little construction
Ah, the classic, 'Your dick is so small compared to mine it might as well not exist at all' trope. Not helping the fact that you view man = biggest dick possible. These women know what males are.
> His cock seemed to malfunction, dripping cum as if it were a squirting cunt
TBF that's exactly what it is: a neo-phallus connected to his female genitalia. I have read fics that have used this concept, but in those, Viktor made multiple neo-phalluses of different sizes and he wasn't a pushover.
> He faithfully agreed to be the defender's little slut
You also apparently agreed to be dick shamed even when you don't have a dick, because the author is so porn-rotted she thinks every man is packing a weapon down there. I am aware this is fantasy, but it comes to a point.

> Moving his body on top of himself like a doll - he was so light in hs hands, it was all so easy
Yeah because you're barely 5'2 and weigh less than 100 lbs. OG Viktor was 280 lbs in all that armour, and even if you took off 100 lbs of it, he was still muscular. You could not flip him around. This one? He's just uwu so smol.
> The smaller man was sensitive
You don't say.
> His ass encompassed the circumference of his cock, enduring on its thickness, only the centimetres it would find - or build - inside him
This doesn't make sense. I think this is the ESL talking. The first half was fine because that 4 inch circumference dick is gonna drill baby, drill.
> Hands circling his waist
This fucking line. Never a dull moment.
> Was it cum, or something else?
You tell me, you designed it! How the fuck do you not know whether your neo-phallus produces cum or not?
> His new pussy to use however he wanted
> Filling him so deeply he imagined himself getting pregnant by it
Just have the guy rip off that itty bitty metal dildo and fuck your actual pussy if you want a baby so bad.
> Making clear the size of the hole he created in him
I bet you could launch an ICBM out of it. You don't need a missile silo when that ass can suffice.

AKA 'give yourself a bigger dick or else you're half the man I am'. If its 4 inches or below it's a micropenis. You should go the whole way and make it so big you make sure you make HIM cry next time. It still blows (lol) my mind how he developed a neo-phallus and wasn't aware that it could produce semen. You designed it? And why not make it bigger and fuller if you didn't wat to get dick-shamed by the actual male? There's nothing more humiliating to a man than to realize he's lacking in the penile department. This lil dood apparently didn't get the memo and only has a blown out asshole to pay for it.

---

Sticking with the theme of breeding and feminization, here is another that just flies with the breeding kink out the window. It has real Nick Fuentes 'Your Body, My Choice' vibes. Lines for this fic include:
- Your titties would be leaking milk you will feed our baby with
- “If you want a choice that much then you can choose if I breed you here, in front of this mirror or in the bedroom.”
- “You see? Even if you try to deny it, your pussy wants to be bred by me so much.”
- “Will you be as good while I breed you?”
- His musky erection is throbbing, inches from erupting.
- “I have no idea how could you say you don’t want it when your pussy is so wet and ready to be impregnated.”

Spoiler: Your Body, My Choice

> Sweetest milkshake
> Spicy calamari
Holy fuck are you going to be shitting out that golden throne tonight. Forget your little breeding kink: only thing you'll be breeding is an army of plumbers to come fix your sewage system.
> Probably a science pun
That was clearly not a science pun, you retard.
> Red dress with long, flared sleeves and glistening velvet
> Short dress fully exposed his slender legs
Very masc, showing off your Twiggy look.

> Fragile physicality and tears in his bloody eyes
They always love writing this character as fragile and the brown man as his tormentor. Don't pay attention to what that means, chud, all art is political except for ~my~ art.
> encircles his waist with his hands
This fucking line again.
> Weighs barely anything
He's barely 100 lbs and is a walking skeleton. He makes Eugenia Cooney look fit, and she has an eating disorder. I will never understand why these people think writing this character at his worst makes him sexy.
> A man he once sucked off for his meds
How'd that dick cheese taste?

> His partner towering behind his figure like a shadow
> Is half, maybe a third of his size, barely reaches his chin
>Easy to throw around
Holy yaoi dynamics, Batman! Our uwu bottom is barely taller than 4'10 and we've got our 6'7 yeti fighter with the foam finger hands! Next you'll tell me he's got - wait, nevermind.
> You promised to give me a baby
> I want to give you a baby bump right here
> Your titties would be leaking milk you will feed our baby with
Amazing lines. Very, very masc!

> I said I'm not getting pregnant
> He hates himself for how much he likes it
Men don't like women, even when they identify as men.
> If you want a choice that much then you can choose if I breed you here, in front of this mirror or in the bedroom
'Your body, my choice' but make it WOKE
> Tears fill his eyes
> The wet tear stain
> Dewy tears
> Salt of his tears
> The mirror is stained by his tears
"How many times do you want to use tears?" "Yes."
> Alabastrine skin
Wow, we are really going all out for describing this white skin, huh? Jayviks focus more on that than Anne Rice did with her vampires.

> Would they get your beautiful chestnut hair?
Probably not as lighter brown hair is a European trait and those kids are going to look Mexican. True Amerimutts to the bone.
> I'm going to break this fucking thing in half
He should actually do it and be a real villain. No more hand holding. Start pushing 'em down flights of stairs.
> Small hand
He's just uwu so smol.
> Panties full onto the floor, untangling from his dangling feet
I am laughing my ass off. He's so tiny he's being held up several feet in the air and is having his underwear taken off by his crutch like he's a Barbie doll. Talk about size difference!

> Your pussy wants to be bred by me so much
These are all random_txt and I love it.
> Carries him over his shoulder like a bag of cotton
*Foghorn Leghorn voice* WHOA THERE SON I SAY SON, YOU CAN'T MAKE JOKES LIKE THAT NEAR HERE! COTTON PICKIN' IS FOR A SPECIAL MINOR-ITAY AND IT AIN'T YOU, SON
> Maybe you change your mind after you give birth, but that's up to do
I legit hope you get divorced raped because I doubt your kinks will sound nice in front of a judge.

> Strikes his open hand at Viktor's cunt
I don't think these people have ever experienced an open hand slap. If you've seen Slap Fight or Slap Mountain, you can easily split the skin if you draw enough power. Jayce, having yeti hands, would absolutely achieve this.
> He grabs both of his thin wrists
He's just uwu so smol.
> Grieves having to accept him taking the hold over his body, planting his seed inside him
Sucks that you have a female body and will always be at the mercy of a male. Your personal identity doesn't do jack shit when a male wants to rape.
> Delicate skin
Uwu delicate, alabasterine skin.
> His pussy has become tender and red
That beef has officially become tenderized.

> Will you be as good while I breed you?
Can't tell if this is supposed to be sexy or it's really weird kitchen talk.
> Wipe tears turning into crystalic salt
> Painful dug of his roots makes him drip tears
The tears have now entered Mary Sue territory. Add 'limpid tears' and you are officially in My Immortal territory.
>These eyes are feral
Some things can be roleplayed, but if your 'totally sweet' boyfriend looks like a pitbull ready to maul a toddler, that isn't a roleplay. He's waiting for the right time to do it.
> Arching his back as far as his frail spine will let him
Our poor, itsy bitsy uke with the alabastrine skin and tiny body. Isn't he just so uwu?

> Lapping at the g-spot
Wow, he found it with his tongue? Impressive.
> A mixture of pain and pleasure
Cliché.
> Unzips his dampened dress, sliding it down his body
It was already hiked up? You can move it upwards?
> His musky erection is throbbing, inches from erupting
Sounds like Vesuvius before it nuked Pompei, albeit with all those musky erections.
> Petite form
A reminder that to be classified as petite you must be 5'4 or under. This character is 5'8. They do it for their yaoi.
> His cock being too big to fit inside him all at once
Of course. Those yaoi proportions need to be accurate.

> Smacking against his cervix
> Every hit against his cervix lets another flow of tears waterlog the sheets
If he wasn't crying those crystalline tears already, he's about to summon a crystal golem with them now.
> I have no idea how could you say you don't want it when your pussy is so wet and ready to be impregnated
"Published smut books have terrible dialogue. Fanfic is better." The fanfic:

I also love how they know there are only two options for kids: son or daughter. There are no other options despite them complaining that there is no binary. BTW, 'Alejandro' is not a reference to the Lady Gaga son but to the voice actor, Kevin Alejandro. Boy has two first names!
> His partner gushes loads of his seed into his womb, growling, shoving his full length inside him
You can forget your kid looking white; with that much semen he's just going to create a race of nu-Mexicans in a reverse Reconquista.

They have their talk session afterwards and Jayce promises that he 'doesn't mean' anything he says and that it's all a roleplay. He says that if anyone tried to replicate these scenarios with him - the forced marriage, the pregnancy, etc - he'd kill them and keep their skulls as trophies. You could just have him scalp them and take their hearts in true Aztec style. Live out that feral life that 100% is NOT a roleplay no matter how much you say it is.

No it's been around a lot longer than that.

Such goofy smut is mocked in books like 'Quicksilver', but it's endemic in fanfic and isn't laughed at as much.

Please R8 my writing thx

*sniffs* I crode, not every man is blessed with eight inch writing that devastates orifices...you're a real Woke King, a real Shaka Brah; those insults dripped down those thighs like diarrhea.

 

[Chandelier]

Stupidsarah, true to her nature, has decided to stick to her feminization schtick and write a short two-shot where two boys (and a half) are in love, with all the usual high school and college drama. When it comes to sickly abuelas and rampaging Eastern Euros, you have to pick a side. It's much softer than the Shania Twain giddy-up pardner haybale hoe cowboy fic.

Spoiler: Chapter 1 - Two and a Half Boys in Love

> It started with two boys
*Two boys and a half, because I don't think lover boy here knows the other is actually female. I assume he's passing well enough to get into all-male dorms without any eyebrows raised, because there isn't as much hoopla with shoving FTMs in male spaces as there is the reverse.

This is where their relationship begins falling apart: an entirely preventable thing that could have been solved with a simple text message telling Viktor that Ximena was sick. Instead, this man spirals into thinking things that aren't true, and his 'boyfriend' assumes that he is cheating because he becomes closed off. It's drama for the sake of drama.

> The same eyes that look at him as if they are trying to tamper a hidden fear
Is this the fear of being outed, or abandoned?


Amazing. I assume that smartphones don't exist in their world - but phones apparently do, because he eventually leaves a voice mail - because all it would really take is a text message or phone call to tell him what happened. That is what Jayce would actually do. He just decided not to because of ~drama.~

He's right to be angry, but everyone here is acting hysterical when this could have been prevented. The drama should be over losing your friend across the country, especially if social media does not exist and you have no idea if you will reconnect again. This was a lack of communication. If you two love each other and consider yourselves soul mates, why are you doing this?


> Why did he keep the news, his decision, from Viktor?
I don't know, you tell me. You are paranoid he'll leave you for supporting your mother, when you decide a second later he'd never do that. You are correct: you ARE a fucking idiot. It is drama for the sake of drama.

> Can only focus on how beautiful Viktor is
Is he going to be turned into Shania Twain here? Because he is in her other fics. I hope he has some meat on his bones so I don't have to read 'xylophone ribs' ever again.


> He pulls onto a dirt road
> Until he reaches a flat piece of dirt covered land
Wow, the dirt road leads to a dirt road!

BTW, I knew as soon as this scene came up that they were going to have sex. When they started taking their clothes off I was vindicated. They really are that predictable.

> Slope of his slender neck
Before you ask: yes, this author goes into how pale and white he is. No alabastrine skin yet.
> Why didn't you just talk to me, Jayce?
Good question. We need these Hallmark dramas, I guess.

I once again ask that if phones exist you could have simply called or left an e-mail. I don't see any indications that this takes place in the 80s or 90s. Hell if you want to be old-fashioned, a post card will work. Don't be a rube.

> Even if he had told him earlier, they would still have ended up right here
SO WHAT WAS THE POINT, THEN?! AT LEAST VIKTOR WOULD HAVE HAD MORE TIME TO COPE
> I need you
Told you. I fucking called it.

> Like they have for hundreds of hours before this; like they never will again
Semicolons are your friends.
> Gluing them together until later, when he can be alone to tear himself apart
Commas are your friends.

> Diving into the sweet heat he knows is waiting
Ah, so he DOES know his 'boyfriend' is really his girlfriend'.
> Pale, milky skin shines bright in the moonlight above them
There's that white skin we know and love. White pride, worldwide!
> He presses a kiss to the small bulge
Even in your male identity you will never compare to the hulking, veiny power of a real dick. All that T and what does it give you? Something smaller than your fist. Sad!

> Eat him out with all the love he can muster in his softened, bruised heart
Wow, who knew cunnilingus could be so sentimental. This is also the tried and true cliché of , 'we may never see each other again, so let's have tender sex' but with teenagers. You know, the stuff you used to see in teen movies played by adult actors.
> Swirls his tongue around Viktor's cock
Is he even ON T?
> He treats Viktor's pleasure as if it's made of glass
I think you'd have more fun sucking on a Stanley cup than the 'cock' you're sucking right now.

How sentimental. It sure is a change from all the feminization shit this author is known to do. Unlike the other people who write this genre, Sarah is not trans. She's an honest-to-god woman who is good with winged eyeliner and dyes her hair blonde despite being Asian. She just wants to write your trad M/F stuff without being seen as boring.

> When Jayce could have happily taken Viktor's virginity with no remorse or misery hanging above him
He sure doesn't sound remorseful here. I think he regrets the CIRCUMSTANCES, but not the act itself.
> Viktor is so warm, so unbelievably tight
Yeah, because that pussy is new to the Hispanic Hog. Give it some time and it'll become its own recycle bin.

Does he have xylophone ribs? Walmart chicken thigh meat? If he has SOME muscle tone on him I'm OK with that, but these people really think fucking a skeleton outside of an established kink is hot. It isn't. But hey, who knew the same author who wrote orgies around pool boys and Shania Twain doppelgangers could be so romantic?

This has to take place before the Internet, because if this was in the modern era, all he'd have to do is say, 'We'll talk on FaceTime/Snapchat' and just be in a long-term relatonship.
> Slides his cock back to the hilt
> Both pleasure and pain
Double cliché. The 'Buckle Up, Buttercup!' one was written far better. But I get it: it's teen love. You gotta be tender.

> I don't know how to be okay without you
That's not a healthy mindset to have. You're a man, aren't you? You gotta start dealing with this shit sooner or later. Send him nude photographs in the mail like the real Victorian LARPer you are.
> You find someone to fuck you when you need it. Not as good as me though
He is pounding that pussy like it owes him money and he's getting all philosophical. Men don't have time to talk in full sentences when they're locked in like that.

> His cock pounding inside of Viktor so deep that Jayce is starting to see stars
And how are you able to speak in full sentences, again?
> The walls of his cunt fluttering
This is the same author who wrote, 'his cunt fluttered shyly', so now I have to ask it every time I see it: did his cunt flutter shyly, or confidently?

You know phones exist, right? If I find out that they do, in fact, have the Internet I will certifiably blow a gasket because FACEBOOK IS RIGHT THERE. INSTAGRAM IS RIGHT THERE. THE FUCK YOU MEAN THIS IS GOODBYE?!

Oh no, what a sad ending I hope they reconnect in the buckle bunny world where they fuck after the guy gets spinal surgery. That fic hasn't been updated, btw. I would prefer reading that one because at least I have Shania Twain's doppelganger to look at.

---

A while ago I read and reviewed a fic from an author who wrote the titular character as a knuckle-dragging caveman who literally grunted his way through the Bible and had a thing for a 16-year-old. That concept has been reborn here. This was beta-read by tigercristabel, who can't be arsed to edit her own work even with the help of beta-readers herself.

Spoiler: Chapter 1 - Pretty Baby Prose

> Since I've been sat in the corner with my glass
This implies someone forced you there.. *Since I've been sitting with my glass reads better, more so as this is present tense.
> Verbs that pretend order when there is none to be found
You just misused a verb.
> A nobel marriage of scents for those walls - singed hair and the iron breath of an experiment gone public
*Noble. Nobel is for the Nobel prize. She also means he engaged in a scientific experiment and burned his hair.
> You can name what followed many things
*You can name the things that followed, or 'you can name what followed' works just as well. This is a Yookay woman so she's fumbling the language she gave to her colonies.

> A fist that breaks someone else's promise
This doesn't read well. 'A fist that breaks someone else's spirit' has a lot more power to it.
> I told myself that the lonely walk was penance
He says this now, and then later says it wasn't about penance or humility at all.
> Not trying to make men look twice. He folds into the shadows the way a small thing might fold into a pocket
'Small thing' can mean anything. 'He folds into the shadows like a letter folds into a pocket' has imagery behind it.
> He is younger than the room needs him to be
His age is not declared in this fic explicitly, but if I had to guess, he's 16-17. If he's any younger this author is a certified pedophile.
> The boy knows how to curate emotions
You write after writing him 'not trying to make men look twice'. If he's curating emotions, it means the men are looking twice.

> I count the ways I could make him safer. I am older. I am experienced
Same excuse given in the other fic, btw. An older man grooming a vulnerable teen offering his protection is perfectly fine when you're hot.
> The lamps flicker low, sickly-yellow
Previously they were an apologetic yellow, now they're sickly. What did they do, catch the Kung Flu?

> He is reed-thin
She later makes it even worse when she compares him to skin and bones.
> They're looking for lips, hips a promise in the tilt of a chin
He has none of those. He has thin lips, thinner than the lip of an envelope, no ass, no thighs and no meat to speak of. Even Roman towel boys were fitter than him.

> Old enough to being doing this?
> Old enough
I assume the age will be dropped when he whips out that 'well-hung than hung' dick in the next chapter.
> A boy like this, thin as a matchstick, cheekbones sharp enough to cut the light
That doesn't change the fact he has no lips, no ass, no thighs or meat to speak of, and was already written as 'thin as a reed'.
> His voice smoky in a way I suspect isn't natural - Zaun's toxins steal timbres young
He says, as he's about to steal a timbre young.

> I try to have a discerning eye
Funny how that eye always seems to go for teenagers.
> The streets get unriendly, especially for someone beautiful and steady
This boy is so thin he can be used as a spoke in a carriage wheel. Hell he could even be made into a paper plane. Why are they written with the same power as Bjorn Andresen (RIP)?

Haha, get it? He's a gentleman pimp. He's not a predator because he doesn't look like Jerry Seinfeld. When you look like a hunky, rugged man like Jayce, people will turn off the Ick factor no matter how young the 'bottom' is.

> He shivers faintly, but I feel it where our ribs meet
Xylophone ribs in action, I see.
> How much can you know about a person in a single hour?
Apparently you know they're young, hot, and ready to fuck. Wait until the second chapter comes along and we figure out the prostitute is 15 or something. Child prostitution AND a grooming John? This girl sure does have a fetish for bearded older men in their 40s and 50s going after young teens.

---

The title for this one speaks for itself. Everything is 100% consensual and agreed upon, even the cervical smashing and CNC. Ride that cowboy until you can't ride no more. Title of the spoiler is also the title of this fic, enjoy. The lines for this one include:
- Decided to dress up real nicely in hopes of getting railed by a fat cock because of how he looked
- he thought he would have the bright idea to hydrate him with a throatful of cock as an alternative
- But I want to be hydrated when daddy lets me suck his dick and ride him afterwards
- Daddy will come back for that sweet virgin ass of yours.
- "It's really pissing me off that I've got my hands full with two flight risks here. First my horse, next my whore," he spat. "What's next, the chickens in the fuckin' coop?"
- You're lucky I got a pack of lube in my pocket or else I would've ripped your little ass a new one
- Don't worry your little head, baby. I'll fuck you so hard you won't be able to think of anything but wanting dick 24/7.
- Your ass was made to be fucked. Such a good boy, ain'tcha?
- Yes, daddy! I love your cock! Ah! Ah! Ah! Come in me, give me your babies!

Spoiler: REAL COWBOY DADDY TAMES CITY BOY HITCHHIKER WITH HIS HORSE🐔

> They could even have sex outdoors, if the tension was too much to take
Sorry, no fucking on an actual horse. That's for next time.
> He was packing a 10-inch - the largest Viktor's ever had thus far
10 inches is 2 inches below the record setter held by 'pipeline punch' Jayce. I don't know if that's how big he actually is and this is part of the roleplay, or if he's a real record setter, but we'll see.
> The six other men who shared the same name as Viktor
Were they all trans or did a few of them have a dick, too?
> Decided to dress up real nicely in hopes of getting railed by a fat cock because of how he looked
Dressing like Shania Twain in the middle of the fucking desert? Only thing you're getting railed by is heat stroke.
> Lower half tied around his small waist paired with a tight pair of navy blue denim shorts
Very masc. That buckle bunny look with the pink panties really does sell it.

> His pale skin practically burning
Wear sunscreen next time, white boi.
> Was Viktor suffering from heat stroke or was that sexy olive-skinned man with a nice beard stopping just to let him hitch a ride on his horse? He looked like he'd be pulled from some erotic
Breaking the 4th wall, I see. This is your classic heterosexual reach around erotica: hot, sexy, tall cowboy with olive skin and a colossal dick, and the white cowgirl with a trans pin who looks like Shania Twain ready to go Texas hold 'em on him.
> Light enough for Viktor to make out the size of his flaccid dick
We'll see if he's 10 inches or bigger if the roleplay also included him cheating on 6 other Viktors. Edit: he's 13 inches, so he's a record breaker.
> He could feel just how huge the stranger was
No shit. Who needs a riding crop when that dick will do?

It should also be mentioned that, generally, walking on asphalt isn't good for horses. Horses also need to drink, too, and he's walking it in high noon heat without water. They can walk on it, but running on it is a bad idea. CordeliaCordate, resident horse girl, would tell you that.

> Pretty boy
> Doesn't even try to present masculine
OK, bud.
> Found himself twirling several strands of hair between his fingers unconsciously
Very masc, dood.
> Dress in something nice and get railed in the great outdoors
You also didn't bring any water or a hat, so the only thing railing you will be those ER bills.

> His shorts were probably so tight from how wet he must be now
If it's over 100 F, you don't need to worry about it being sticky because it'll dry so quick. Better get some water or your own pussy will dehydrate you.

> His bulge had begun to grow in size - just when Viktor thought he was huge before, he was starting to worry how large the man actually was
Before you ask, yes, the 'It won't fit' 'I'll make it fit' line is used.
> He tasted like beer, smoke, and something addicting
Smelling like beer in that heat will just make you smell rank. Thanks for spoiling my appetite.

> He thought Jayce would have the bright idea to hydrate him with a throatful of cock as an alternative
That's nice, but a dick isn't water and he's going to get thirsty, too. Can't have him going hypoglycemic from a dehydrated boner.
> Pinched the front of his pants to adjust his boner
I don't think it's small enough for a 'pinch'.
> You're gonna be real good for daddy, aren't you?
I can't take this seriously. I get this is a roleplay but come ON, you can do better.
> Pulling and kneading them like he's trying to milk his breasts or something
He'd have better fun kneading a pizza pie.

> I want to be hydrated when daddy lets me suck his dick and ride him afterwards
Mind you, they're doing this on a horse, in the middle of a desert. It's peak 2000s era cable porn.

Uh oh, the small shop in the middle of nowhere is owned by the sexy cowboy who tied his horse outside in the heat without giving it water to drink! Should I call the cops, or PETA?

> He was unceremoniously lifted like a bride
Missed chance to tied up him and carry him on the horse like he's a runaway colt. That would be fun.
> Apologize or I'll hit you with my belt
You have to unbuckle it first for the threat to hit.

> Sure, he felt some attraction to the man, but he wasn't the type to just do it with a stranger
The 'OH NO HE'S NOT' remarks and the fact you fell in love with his dick at first sight says otherwise.
> Spread his hairy folds open
This makes me think he has hair ON his labia, not surrounding it, and that it resembles the kia you see in those NZ diving videos.
> He was not prepared to see that the man was hung like a horse
Of course! It's in the title and the tags. He's 13 inches, a real Mexican vaquero.
> His baby pink panties were practically see-through
Very masc.
> I don't think that's going to fit
> I'll make it fit
Cue those 'keep that death dagger away from me' comments. I had a hunch these lines were going to be used, and look what happened.

Well, we have a record smasher! 'pipeline punch' is no longer the biggest Jayce. It's dioscums (unless we count that author that made him 14 inches)! This makes him larger than your average school ruler and places it in the middle of your stomach. It also almost puts him at the size of the world record holder, Jonah Falcon, who is 14 inches.
> There was a large bulge forming on his stomach now
I'm surprised he isn't fucking your liver.
> His pussy squelching with every single thrust that violated his poor cervix
At that size, he might as well skewer it.
> He squirted on the bedsheets violently
Get ready for this, because he squirts violently around three times, and Jayce ejaculates and stays hard four times. A real miracle.

> Need you to watch me knock up this tight pussy of yours
> I don't want to be a mother yet
Interesting choice of words. They don't make him say 'father' or 'birthing parent' or even just 'parent'. They use 'mother'. That is deliberate. The trans tag is just there for window dressing; he's fucking a woman.
> Globs of white seeped out of his hole, dripping on the wooden floor with how much he stuffed him with
Along with 13 inches of meat, he's got 13 L of semen. I keep saying this, but put this man out to pasture already.
> A little woozy from having his pussy ripped open
Literally. Give it the Purple Heart for surviving D-Day.
> Spitting straight at his pink and puckered rim
I legit thought he was going to go in dry, but nope, he's got lube.

> Daddy will come back for that sweet virgin ass of yours
This is supposed to be a CNC scene, and yet this dialogue is so cheesy I've heard dirtier things at an all-black buffet.
> Pushing through the pain and the wetness seeping out of his freshly fucked pussy
I get this is a scene, but come ON. He isn't running anywhere because he's too disabled to run. It'd be like watching a deer with two broken legs try to crawl away. This is bad comedy.

> This was the most stupid and cliché thing
I'll say.
> Slapped Viktor hard on the face
An open palm, too. You might negotiate on the slapping but not the strength behind it. It won't be funny when your face swells up like you were a contestant on Slap Fight.
> What's next, the chickens in the fuckin' coop?
We already got enough cock 'round here, cowboy.

> Pressed the head of his dick against his lips
Good luck deepthroating 13 inches. If his dick manages to bend the way the ones in hentai do, he's going to have to explain to ER doctors how he managed to break it. It'll end up on 'Untold Stories of the ER'.
> You're lucky I got a pack of lube or else I would've ripped your little ass a new one
Indeed. He wouldn't been Billy Ray Goatse.
> Ripped his shirt open to reveal his cute baby pink bra
Very masc.
> Your ass was made to be fucked
Past this, the roleplay starts getting inconsistent. Here we have a wannabe rapey cowboy threatening to rip open some holes, then Viktor becomes a babydoll, then he becomes a kitten who meows - no, I'm not making that up. The tonal change is so abrupt I thought I was tripping.

> Felt his ass and pussy leaking cum
That's one way to fertilize the soil.
> He felt Jayce slapping the lips of his pussy
> He let out a cry before squirting everywhere
That's the second time he's squirted like an exploded water bed.
> He must look disgusting, piss slick, sweat and cum running down his thighs
Nah, you just had a Bear Grylls/P. Diddy party crossover.
> Is my little kitten feeling hot
The 13 inch dick had me raising eyebrows, but now the tonal shift took another drastic right turn. This is supposed to be rape play and forced pregnancy, but now you want this guy to be your kitten? What?

> Such a pretty little slut for me, aint'cha? Should I parade you around the countryside and let other men fuck your holes until you smell like nothing but cum?
You'd just get angry that none of them would be able to stuff said holes because you have a World Record penis.
> Rammed impossibly deeper inside his pussy
There's nowhere deeper to go when you are 13 inches, unless you are literally fucking out his lungs like a thermobaric bomb.
> Came all over his back
This guy is 13 inches and you would expect an ejaculation to drain his soul. Nope. He's able to go multiple rounds without getting dizzy, because that's the magic of white boipussy.
> Meow
If you want to write a CNC theme, you might as well stick with it. What the fuck is this?

> Squirted all over the wooden floors once more
Jayce better be careful or he might break a leg slipping on it. That would be poetic irony.
> Lapping at his cock like a good little kitten
Again, he's still hard. It's like this man is physically incapable of getting tired or suffers from blood loss.
> Come in me, give me your babies
Don't you mean, 'give me your kittens'?
> I think milk is going to come out this time, daddy
The only thing coming out is enough semen to put sperm whale breeding season to shame. Four times did this man ejaculate without getting tired ONCE. This author also has a boyfriend. Is he an actual male, and does he have a dick this size? Maybe she should ask how long he goes without getting tired.

See? They're a bored, but happy, loving couple. This was all just an act - even if it has a tonal shift sharper than Uwe Boll's film career.

I skipped ahead, because our dear KitKat wants that Snickers bar in another scenario:

> It was the biggest Viktor had ever seen in his life
If you ever wondered what an actual example looks like, here's one that was posted in the SRS thread:

📚 Megathread Post in thread 'SRS and GRS surgeons and associated horrors'

Mar 31, 2025

HONEST POONER PHALLO IMPRESSION:

View attachment 7146625

“Too heavy, too big”… In sure all the men in here can unironically agree. Walking around with a giant piece of arm flesh stabled to your crotch must be a curse. Unlike an actual penis, that barely weigh anything and is tucked away when it’s not being used.

Mother natures creations truly are magnificent. Unlike the monstrosities concocted by crazy surgeons.

8.5 inches of GIRTH?? Jesus Christ. I need to see this monstrosity. I tried Googling for an actual penis with that girth and the closest I can find is this guy claiming to have 7”...

• Bloo

Reactions: x 3 x 7 x 4 x 3 x 22

That is what they are talking about in these fics.
> Shave his bush until his husband's favourite moles in between his ass and folds were visible
So what was the point of the kia bush here? The man came four times; I'm surprised it didn't look like a fungal coconut.
> Sky blue sheer babydoll lingerie
Very masc.
> Bet his shotgun ain't as big as mine, honey
"Your 12 gauge might be nice, but I got a 4 bore elephant gun for your ass. Bend over, honey, we're going to see if you can take some artillery."

The author knows what she's doing. There is some self-awareness here, but the 13 inch thing makes me roll my eyes. It gets to a point. You aren't even trying it with the trans tag; this is a whole-ass woman being treated like a woman but with a male name. The sex dialogue borders on corny, and while that may be intended, it just doesn't do it for me. These goofy ass lines are quotable, though.

In relation to the fic above, here is a Booktok video filled with comments mocking a similar premise:

They are all golden.

 

[Big Miss Steak]

Spotted in the wild

 

[SoleniyKraut]

A fan infliction.

 

[Aunt Carol]

A fan infliction.

An edgy/pornographic retelling of Alice in Wonderland? My god, what innovation! Never have I seen such a thing before, ever. Mind = blown.

I guess it's an argument for letting things hit the public domain earlier; slim pickings out there for lazy erotica writers.

 

[Biology Book]

Link - login only

Spoiler: This free palestine tag made me chuckle

I understand intenions, but I don't dead dove yaoi fic is perfect place for that

 

[SoleniyKraut]

I guess it's an argument for letting things hit the public domain earlier; slim pickings out there for lazy erotica writers.

When "Steamboat Willy" became public domain, I've noticed a flood, which is still ongoing - of edgy games using similar stylistic choices, primarily FPS and point-and-click (Aside from that one poorly-made Cuphead clone); I believe even before it was in public domain, people managed to do parodies and such - it just looks dated, when someone makes an edgy retelling of old media today.