Fanfiction Horrors

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8waifoofever8 said:
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8342621/1/Boots-Is-Gay

Isn't this story just lovely?
Click to expand...

What the fuck is up with the mom and daughter watching this sodomy unfold on the TV? The kid is uncomfortable with it, and the parent's like "Honey, don't you want to see what happens next, it's so hot. We have to find out who Boots fucks next." Fucking A+ stuff man.

Oh wait, it was a request from the author's "girlfriend". That just gives us more questions.
 
Chris did nothing wrong said:
Sonic 9/11.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6316513/1/911-Sonic-Tribute

"But if there was only some way that we could help..maybe even now." Silver said, an idea forming in his head.

"Wait….you don't mean to go back in time to stop it, do you?" Sonic said.
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Gotta jihad fast.

Screen Shot 2017-01-20 at 4.48.58 PM.png
 
IceGray said:
https://archiveofourown.org/works/7845574?view_adult=true

Mulan got caught hiding her gender and then...

Her mouth flew open on a gasp of outrage before she could think better of it; Li Shang answered with a sharp back-handed slap that nearly drove her to her knees again. “Remove your clothes, Fa Ping,” he repeated, his voice dangerous. “Or I will do it for you.”

Cheeks burning with shame, Mulan did as he bid, stripping away her simple sleeping garments to reveal her bound chest and narrow hips, her long slender legs and the soft thatch of dark hair that hid what lay between them. Her hands covered that portion of her anatomy instantly, her bindings giving cover to her modesty above the waist.

“Did you really believe that your father’s life was worth the risk?” Li continued, as if he didn’t truly expect her to answer his questions. “Or did you believe yourself too clever to be discovered by one of your fellow soldiers at something so simple as having a piss?” He chuckled darkly; it made her shiver. “You really are lucky that it was Chi-Fu, you know. Anyone else and you’d be on your back on the banks of the latrine ditch right now, and the ancestors only know how many of them you’d’ve been forced to service by morning.”

An indistinct image painted itself in her mind at his words, and Mulan couldn’t help biting her lip to keep back a whimper of fear.

“But instead,” Li Shang went on, as if oblivious to her reactions, “here you are.”

There was no warning. From one breath to the next, Mulan found herself spun around by his powerful hands and slammed forward until she was bent at the waist across his table, his right hand on her neck and his feet kicking her legs apart. She tried to struggle but he held her fast, his weight trapping her as two of the fingers from his left hand found her nether lips and pushed inside.

All at once, she froze, shock locking her limbs as the captain probed inside her body, the tug of skin on skin chafing as he explored her depths. After a moment, he seemed to stop, letting his fingers curl and brush at something he’d found there. “Well, well,” he murmured, his breath hot and clammy against the shell of her ear. “Fifteen or not, you are still a maid. Did you really think you could pull off this charade without sacrificing your maidenhead, little Ping?”
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That writing hnghhhh. Like there's purple prose then there's that shit.

Also with the story and how it's written I'm forced to assume that the author is some mid twenty something tumblrina who has no real job other than writing FanFiction all day. Fuckin hell.
 
This may be power-leveling, but I do occasionally read fanfiction for fun when I'm really bored. However, it cannot be overstated that the garbage far outweighs the few decent fics out there. Most of the time I end up gawking at the really shitty fanfics. Sort of like watching The Room.

Finding a good fanfiction is like finding a needle in a haystack.
 
Chris did nothing wrong said:
363814 words. That’s longer than the following books combined:

Animal Farm
Fahrenheit 451
Slaughterhouse-Five
Lord of The Flies
Brave New World
The Great Gatsby
The Martian Chronicles

In the time it would take you to read this fic, you’d have completed a High School English Class.
Click to expand...

we have achieved our full potential as a species
 
Chris did nothing wrong said:
363814 words. That’s longer than the following books combined:

Animal Farm
Fahrenheit 451
Slaughterhouse-Five
Lord of The Flies
Brave New World
The Great Gatsby
The Martian Chronicles

In the time it would take you to read this fic, you’d have completed a High School English Class.
Click to expand...
None of those can measure up to the sheer poetry of this literature:
Screen Shot 2017-02-21 at 9.45.30 PM.png

Brilliance. Sheer brilliance.
 
Syaoran Li said:
This may be power-leveling, but I do occasionally read fanfiction for fun when I'm really bored. However, it cannot be overstated that the garbage far outweighs the few decent fics out there. Most of the time I end up gawking at the really shitty fanfics. Sort of like watching The Room.

Finding a good fanfiction is like finding a needle in a haystack.
Click to expand...

97% of fanfics on FF.net are crap. Very few are good. Project X Zone's is a mess, save for one fanfic that is decent in it. FF.net use to be good at handling reports as well.
 
Piga Dgrifm said:
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5938843/1/Life-At-Pizza-Hut
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Chris did nothing wrong said:
363814 words. That’s longer than the following books combined:

Animal Farm
Fahrenheit 451
Slaughterhouse-Five
Lord of The Flies
Brave New World
The Great Gatsby
The Martian Chronicles

In the time it would take you to read this fic, you’d have completed a High School English Class.
Click to expand...
I can't believe that someone finally found what could be the world's longest fan fiction...and it was terrible and had possible fart fetish material!

Also, two of the reviews for this fan fiction are just the word "CAKE" repeated over and over.

This guy has poorly written smut fanfictions involving Gunter and Rosita's husband from the movie Sing (which I am a fan of). I was disturbed by these stories at first, but they're so bad, I couldn't stop looking at them.
http://monkeyloverboy.deviantart.com/

Here are some highlights from these stories (one of these quotes will be my new custom title).

"Hey cutie do you want some of Gunter" gunter said flirty. "UMMMMMMM.................." Norman said in a freak out way.

After he climbed on top of Gunter and he put his cock into Gunter's piggy hole and kept pushing and pulling his cock in and out of his lover's hole. They did that for 20 minutes without stopping. "Ohhhhhhhhhh I I I I I I I I I I I I I OH OH OH OH OHHHHHH" Gunter moaned.

I wanted to talk to you about us" Norman said. "What about us" Gunter asked. "Well ever since we had that sex we started to hanging out more and I'm not sure if it's a good thing" Norman said in depressed. "Well don't you love me, I mean I love you but do have feelings for me" Gunter asked. They did had sex but Norman never said he had feelings for him ,well he does but Norman is afraid to tell him. "I......I......l.......l um" Norman was trying to say the words.

After the last hump they both stop to take a breath, then Norman went below Gunter's stomach and sucked on his cock. Norman sucked and sucked into his lover's cock, both pigs blushing hard (really hard)."MMMMMMPPPPPPPHHHHHHH" Norman moaned. Gunter looked at Norman and said in a flirty way." I love how we are doing this together OHHHHHH and love your sexy body OHHHHH" Norman stopped and went up and kissed Gunter again, they couldn't stop it was love when they couldn't stop kissing each other.

[By the way, the same sex sounds in these stories remind me of those Drew Pickles videos where they always use "HAHAHAHAHAHAHEHAHAHE..." and "SWOOSH SWOOSH SWOOSH SWOOSH!" as sex sound effects.]

Speaking of sexualizing Illumination Entertainment films, there was also this Minions erotic story on Buzzfeed that I shared on the Minons fandom thread on here:
https://www.buzzfeed.com/leonarddelaney/the-minions-in-me?utm_term=.fnl4BeGZn#.sfnWlkn9D

Also, I don't know if these count, but these are fan fictions (possibly trollfics) about Jar Jar Binks that are just too hilarious to be horrible, and contain a bunch of random shit in it, like bikini babes, Donald Trump, JoJo's Bizzare Adventure, Tobey Maguire, and...Guy Fieri from Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives on Food Network?
https://archiveofourown.org/works/5674762

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6121295
 
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Puar said:
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12376132/1/And-Suddenly-An-Ultimate-Wonder-Happened

Underaged pregancy.

Author's notes. The author admeits to being a pedophile.
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Frankly, I'm more concerned by other aspects of the author's bio.
Randomness

On with the show!
I am 19, i love cats and cars X3.
YOU MESSED THEM ALL UP WITH CATS, POPEYES, DOUG, ANGELICA, AND LITTLE KIDDIE SHOWS!
Your TROLLFACE!!!!
Hello, immortal pineapple-and-banana-pepper-pizza!
Holy spinach teeth?
Holy cheese and crackers!
I’ve had all sorts of succotash
Clone your fork
This is bananas: P-Q-L-E-F-E-T!
Some spinach teeth and flying balogna, and the secret spaghetti cannons, and crackers, and spinach, and succotash...
I am kinda curious to see if you can really turn my teeth to spinach
I WON'T OBEY A BUNCH OF CORN AND BEANS!
That's Nick's garbage!
Nick's garbage is my garbage!
Consuela throws poor Buster in the garbage with the flies.
This garbage attracts flies and huge roaches like crazy
Wowsers indeed
Crackers don't scare me.
I hate hamburgers.
I have some moles lol
My teeth are not spinach lol
lol heart gold and soul silver.
max tomato = diarrhea in the halberd xD
Excuse my Asperger's, por favor.
Evil dill in the background
*While hiding: They buttered popcorn?
Wait—is it really a felony to put boogers in someone's food?
No Boogers In My Burgers!
I misread one of your quotes as "No! Bob's Boogers is garbage!"
Don't eat pigs, don't eat BATS, Don't eat beetles, flies or gnats.
Aspergers, same as me
You can draw all the bubblegum and chocolate Pop Rocks you want.
paper in your ear?
Listen the moles, freckles, and warts thing is getting old.
Bees, wasps: Yes. Moles, freckles, and warts: No.
*And they cover her face with lots of warts, freckles and moles*
Keep your wankin' moles and whatnot!
*Creates black moles freckles and warts with red eyes as they kill your creations!*
*Create a Spinach Teeth Cannon then fire it*'
*Eats Spinach and has spinach teeth and the zits faint*
*Creates blue zits, blackheads and abscesses*
*poofs Pac-Man away*
STOP SENDING YOUR WHITE KNIGHTS AFTER AKIRA!
*they get on my face* AHHH!
EWWW!!! BOOGERS!!!
I DON'T LIKE THE VOMIT THING, YOU DO!!!
WHAT ARE SPINACH TEETH!?
I WOULDN'T EAT FACE MOLES!
WHAT IS SO GREAT ABOUT WALMART ANYWAY!?
SUCCOTASH DOESN'T SCARE ME!
IS THERE ANYTHING TO EAT BESIDES SUCCOTASH CRACKERS WAFFLES AND HAMHOCKS!?
I HATE SUCCOTASH AND SPINACH! HERE!
And then threatening to knock their teeth out.
I want you to make the Alex sculpture from a succotash and crackers.
Swatting flies won't make the wasps go away.
Death Pies or badly drawn Jynx lips?
what kind of pies
Ice cream pickles lol
I hate pickles though
I planted a trollface in this picture just for the fun of it.
Lol, trollfaces and bellies = pure fun
delicious waffles
ARENT THE BLEMISHES ATTRACTED TO PIE!?
ARE THEY ATTRACTED TO PIE?
THATS ALL FOLKS!
Somebody Call A Doctor!
"THERE'S A MACARONI ON MY HEAD!"
AAAAAAAHHHH! FIRE!
AAAAAAH! THEY'RE REAL!!!
SAY "PINGAS-ROBOTNIK-SPAGHETTI"

The new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles look like Teenage Mutant Ninja
Boogers
Teenage Mutant Ninja Bananas ! xD
Teenage Mutant Ninja Garbage made almost 500million. Haha
TMNB Teenage Mutant Ninja Burgers!
@_eelise or your mom can be splinter, and we'll all be teenage mutant
ninja crackers
(I love that I live in such a way that it's totally fine for me to say
Teenage Mutant Ninja Waffles & still be taken seriously)
TMNT is now officially a horror show (á la John Carpenter's Teenage
Mutant Ninja Cars)!
Never seen them grow like that. Teenage mutant ninja corn??
Teenage Mutant Ninja Aliens?' (murmurs under breath) original...
They're more like Teenage Mutant Ninja Germs.
teenage mutant ninja teeth? LOL
Teenage Mutant Ninja Eggs
Uhhh... Teenage Mutant Ninja Skittles?
Teenage mutant ninja spinach!!!
Look at these teenage mutant ninja shrimp
You'll turn into a Teenage Mutant Ninja Shrimp!
There is some teenage mutant ninja flies out here boa!
Teenage Mutant Ninja Popcorns. They will emerge from the shadows to
protect your popcorn.
Teenage mutant ninja spoon
Coming soon to a cinema near you: TMNP (Teenage Mutant Ninja Peppers)
@likestrek Haha! True! I'd definitely prefer Teenage Mutant Ninja
Pancakes.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Cakes
Teenage Mutant Ninja Frogs
teenage mutant ninja pies: the secret of the tart

"Don't eat pigs! Don't eat bats! Don't eat beetles, flies or gnats! Stay away from all of that! A Message from the Lord!"
"I'd buy that for a dollar!"
"Don't let the mean kids get into the school for good children."
"I've got Skittles! Wanna taste the rainbow?"
"Aah, plumbers! They're nice in video games!"
"I've understand that people tried to drink a 'YaggerMaster' (Jägermeister)!"
"Please call me Dr. Donchano, don't cha know?"
"What did the snowman say to a bunch of fungi on the sled? Answer: MUSH-room!"
"Isn't picking at the boo-boos are an idea from you?"
"Shalalalala! Don't be scared! You've got the mood prepared, go on and kiss the girl!"
"Not all the cars look like my dad's car!"
"Watch out for the Trollface!"

Yuck! Spinach?!

What the!?

(\)_(/)
(='.'=)This is Bunny.
(")_(") Copy and paste Bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLL!

Where's the leak, ma'am?

Humanuh humanuh humanuh humanuh...
Table for Humanuh?

What? It's just an ordinary Krabby- OH MY GOODNESS!

HOOPLA!!!

CHOCOLATE!!!!

Patrick, that's not a ride!

Oh, so now the talking cheese is trying to preach to us!

SOILED IT! SOILED IT! SOILED IT! SOILED IT! SOILED IT!

Steppin' on the beach! Doo-doo-doo-doo! Steppin' on the beach! Doo-doo-doo-doo! Steppin' on the beach! Doo-doo-doo-doo! Steppin' on the beach! Doo-doo-doo-doo!

SEVERAL BAD PUNS LATER...

TWO PICKLES ATE A CHEESE SANDWICH IN FRANCE!

AND HERE COMES THE GIANT FIST!

It's The Final Countdown!

The Krusty Krab Pizza! It's the pizza for you and me!

Look out! There's a fork in the road!
I don't see no fork.

Gee, an unhappy ending.

Hey, Bullwinkle! We're in real trouble now!

Hello dollink.

Do you know what an A-bomb is?
Certainly. A bomb is what some people call our show.

Hey Rocky! Watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat!
Again?
Presto!
ROAR!
Oops! Wrong hat!

Sincere service. *slaps* With a smile!
 
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