Fanfiction Horrors

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The fact that they're using the MAP term loosely like this, makes this not even subtle:

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Link / Archive

These comments in the story are literally admitting to being a degenerate:

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Children's show fandoms always remind me of the warnings for nuclear waste dumping sites that are supposed to last after the fall of humanity. "This is not a place of honor, no great deed is commemorated here" etc..
 
I know I said I'd finish the Sinister Seed, but these came up and were too good (read: terrible) not to cover first. I posted screenshots of this in the Trannies Posting their Ls thread, because it was too fucking funny, and now, it'll be covered in all its dysphoric glory. This author, predictably, is trans, and has decided to make two male characters pooners going through their periods. But be careful! It might just be a wee bit dysphoric. Author advises people to take breaks in case they get triggered. Link to fic. Archive.
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Yes, the author is trans, writing about wom- excuse me, manly issues. So important. I'm sure every man can relate.
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This is just the author projecting her illnesses onto the characters - and she has admitted to this in another fic. If you are having migraines constantly, you need to get on a specific medication for them. I doubt the testosterone she's taking is helping. Plus, Jayce is a physically healthy male; he doesn't suffer the way Viktor does, but whatever.

Jayce being clumsy is meant to make him look relatable, but it just makes him annoying. Goofy, sure. But not clumsy.
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I wonder if that has anything to do with the testosterone you're taking? If they're that bad to the point you forget how to take care of yourself, that's a problem - and I doubt it's helping with your uterine issues, too. Pooners chronically suffer issues with their female reproductive organs, and it can all be traced back to T. There's a reason all of them have to go through hysterectomy or similar procedures in the future.

Of course Jayce binds. Instead of, you know, going and getting the Frankendong installed since you have the money for it. All that magic and they still can't get a functional cock; Nature is a TERF no matter the universe.
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Just take your painkillers, have some caffeine, eat something with cinnamon in it, and go on with your day. Women with endo - which is absolutely fucking murder if you have it - don't get days off work or weeks to have down time. We pop our painkillers and move on with our day. These wee pooners need some gender affirming oxy just to feel safe and validated.
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How big are Jayce's tits? Since he has them and all that. He has the money to get the zippertits, but chose to bind them. His ribs are gonna be fucked.
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Technically, it IS your fault, because you are making the cramps worse with T, that is a fact. Your uterus is being destroyed at the molecular level because of it, but you don't care because it's all about being a Real Man. IRL, you'll end up like Gruffin and go through renal failure before you're 25. Gruffin never made it that far.
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Yeah, such a mystery why it keeps happening. It'll only get worse from here, lil pooner - such as your vagina drying out until it cracks and begins to bleed. Fun! And all the atrophy, too! So affirming! You'll never have to worry about another random period again when you have to get your 'front hole' treated for atrophy and the ovaries yeeted because they're rotten from testosterone. You'll be rocking the 50-going-on-24 look.
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Yes, that's right: your bodies invented transphobia. God fucking dammit that people can tell you're a woman because you menstruate; how fucking pissed you get that it's called 'feminine hygiene products' and not 'front hole products' or whatever the fuck it is you want us to call it. Must be awful having to live every day knowing Nature made you female and no matter how hard you try to deny it, your 'flesh prison' reminds you of it every day. Hope those migraines get even worse, pooner, because T ain't no cure.
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Funny, because neither character has balls. They're both female. What a manly joke, dood.
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Indeed, both of these female characters are insufferable. Take your painkillers, shut the fuck up and move on. You absolutely know a pooner wrote this because men will work a job even when they have cancer, and won't make a peep about the pain. Them? Well endo is a bitch, but it definitely isn't made better by T. Not like these dumbass pooners will tell you that, though. That's hidden in the fine print.
Do not ask me why pooners simultaneously complain that periods are dysphoric while writing an entire fic about menstruation. It's as if they are gluttons for punishment and want to be laughed at. Speaking of humour, have a look at these comments. One couldn't even finish it because of a singular mention of the uterus.
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These fucking people. So snarky and autistic to TERFs while having total breakdowns whenever female reproductive organs are mentioned. Absolutely weak.

This one was interesting in that Jayce was the trans man and not Viktor, but it also happens to be written by a pooner who calls herself Victor. This is definitely a self-insert work with one letter changed. Archive here.
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Normally I don't really care about taking language literally - common examples include 'he put his head in his hands' because the people who are anal over that do the same thing in their own work - but 'sending fingers' does sound literal. Fingers of what? You're going to need to be more specific.

I already clocked Jayce as a woman just from all the anxiousness alone. Despite knowing Viktor for a while, he apparently passes so well Viktor doesn't think he's actually a woman. Jayce is so scared of being outed he has mental breakdowns before having sex - which could have been avoided had Jayce simply told Viktor beforehand. But that kills the sexytimes and we need sexytimes, don't we, folks?
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The stuttering dialogue is a giveaway too. Even Trans!Viktor doesn't stutter nearly as much, though his small frame gives him away. He's unironically the best part of this fic, so if you just focus on him, he makes it worth the trouble.
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Can't have rape by deception, albeit pooners are a lot shier about this than AGP hons are. Therein lies the sex differences in personality: pooners are always shy and demure, while hons just shove themselves in any space. Just be a Real Man and tell him, bro!
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Yes, we're doing the 'excuse me, genitalia has nothing to do with sex' discourse and the 'one isn't born a man, one becomes one'. These arguments will always be retarded because the main premise is untrue: one is born with a sex, and we can tell what sex you are even in utero, before any 'gender' can be applied. Once this shitty argument is used, the developmental biology is going to come out. You will cry when I start bringing up hate facts. Witness me.
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And I'm being serious: your sex was determined when daddy's sperm met mommy's egg, and I doubt your fetal self gave a damn about pink or blue or wearing fucking denim. If Viktor is interested in fucking pussy, even if it's on a Real Man, he's bisexual, not gay. Because words have meaning and homosexual doesn't mean being into someone adhering to 'man gender', that is based on nothing but what the pooner THINKS a man is. It's nothing but stereotypes all the way down. Hopelessly regressive.
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So he's fucking a woman wearing a binder. Can't imagine how squashed and rotten those tits are. But hey, it's GAY SEX, yo. GAY SEX. Anything else is DYSPHORIC.
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Ah, finally we don't have Rapunzel pubes! A small mercy. But we get lots of 'cock' descriptions for the clitoris - and this boy isn't even on T, mind you. Straight up penis-in-vagina sex. It's not a cock, so stop writing it like it's one.
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> Cock
> It's barely one inch big
> it's not even a roid clit
> It is gay sex and this is a trans author who desperately wants to get fucked by a hot Czech man, go figure
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Viktor is definitely the MVP of this. He's getting all the good dialogue and Jayce is there squawking like a harbour seal. Lame!
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Nothing kills the mood than by calling the vagina a 'hole'. Use 'entrance' if 'pussy' offends you so much. 'Hole' can mean any orifice. I know you ain't fucking him in the ass, bruh.
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'Cheapest tapestry' is a pretty apt description, especially since Jayce is the cheap, acrylic version of an authentic designer brand (see what I did there?). At least the smut didn't last long and is your run-of-the-mill heterosexual sex. Glad Viktor has 'ropes of cum' to spare; like I said, he was the best part of this. If you focus on him, you can at least be happy our boy is A. actually a man for once and B. acting hot. Gotta take the wins when you can.
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> Hole (which one?)
> Cock (it's just a clitoris)
Thank God it ended here. I can't imagine this being longer so the author can tell us how, based on a technicality, Viktor is a gold star gay because he fucked some pussy. How hard is it to make characters bisexual/pansexual? It takes ONE tag. And all you have to do if writing vaginal sex is so dysphoric for you...is not write it. Pooners want it both ways: they want their vaginas to be seen as 'male vaginas', because they insist they are men, but at the same time, get deeply offended when those terms are used. No problem using 'cock' for their clits and roid clits, though, because male bodies are the default. They'll just start crying if you ever mention their lady bits - unless they're getting fucked by their favourite male character, that is.

A few comments:
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BTW, this is the author.
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Predictable.

This one is by grubbapeach, who wrote that dossier on her Omegaverse on how her gender roles work. This one is unironically a cuck fic, and you might want to gargle some mouthwash after it.
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Viktor doesn't really care about his cultists in canon; he finds them slaves to their irrationality instead of pure logic. So no, I don't think having an orgy would really convince him that humans can get past their base urges.

What's with the sappy internal monologue up there? You ruined what? Apparently it's not that bad if you're going around fucking everybody. You gotta love how the token pooner's only role is to get fucked by dozens of 'large and strong' men. Definitely not projection there, no sir.
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> Cunt
> Cock
Pick one. I know you're talking about your roid clit - if this is even one. I can't imagine how many loads he's already taken if he's got more cream inside him than a New York bakery.
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> Front hole
> Uses cunt just a paragraph earlier
Pick one. Obviously using 'cunt' didn't trigger you, and it certainly sounds a lot better than 'front hole'. I can't imagine what kinds of STDs this poor pooner is going to get.

> Cock and holes
Which ones? Also, ass-to-mouth is how you get gonorrhea and other nasty STDs in your mouth. That's a load of around 20 dudes' cum. That ain't safe to eat!
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I TRIED SO HARD
AND GOT SO FAR
BUT IN THE END
I'M STILL A CUCK QUEEN
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Your bro has seen around 50 cocks. 'Spoiled' is the most flattering word I can think of right now.
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Eh, I'd be more worried about the tears to your female reproductive parts and the STDs you might get. I double Shimmer can protect against HPV-induced cervical cancer.
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Fucking. Disgusting. You are cleaning out a pooner's cunt that has had dozens upon dozens of men ejaculate inside. And the anus, too. That's absolutely unhygienic, and the least romantic way I can conceive of making love to someone for the first time. Hotdog down a hallway, indeed.
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Yes, they're doing this inside of Viktor's vagina (how did they position themselves into that spot?) and his mouth, and Jayce doesn't think he's a cock for tasting 50 different flavours of cum. Hope you have your mint gum handy.
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> Swollen cunt
> Man's hole (which one?)
Also, fucking disgusting. You're eating that shit. This makes me want to gargle with some bleach and hydrochloric acid. Makes me wanna huff mustard gas. It isn't sexy to eat the ejaculate of dirty strangers! You don't know if they're clean! Street dogs, the lot of 'em! But the pooner and his pet cuck don't care. He tried so hard and got so far, and in the end, he sucked up a bunch of white matter.

Sexy.

Honorable mentions:
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Pooners and panic attacks: name a better duo.
 
Children's show fandoms always remind me of the warnings for nuclear waste dumping sites that are supposed to last after the fall of humanity. "This is not a place of honor, no great deed is commemorated here" etc..
I think the "projecting bully victim finds catharsis" in stories that roast or even beats on the canon cast of characters that are "unlikeable" comes slightly close. This is 99.9 % of the shit in Naruto fanfics, which is still the highest category after all these years. I find it disappointing and pathetically funny.

EDIT: No, seriously, I sometimes get reviews from that kind thinking that I'll doll out some "much needed punishment" against those guys who totally bullied them-I mean, the ones who did wrong to the MC. When they find out it isn't (I seldom place A/N on my stories), they stop bothering.
 
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OK, now I am going to finish the Sinister Seed. As for what project is next - whatever takes my fancy. Who knows? I might get back to BlueLunaMoth's 'healing' BDSM fic, or I might pick some others that have been on my radar for a while. Either way, enjoy the ending of the first (!) seahorse dad fic. The other one has them being schoolteachers.

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I don't actually mind stories where a character is escaping another that's a total psychopath. The problem is, Viktor's intelligence has been nonexistent this entire time. He's a very inquisitive person and he'd be hard to fool; he'd be the first to notice red flags. This Viktor just fits the bill of the woman who ignores every red flag because she genuinely thinks her man loves him. It gets irritating real quick. Writing in a journal, detailing your plans, even in another language, is rather stupid. The only benefit he has is that Jayce is a retard ('he was an idiot, not stupid' if you remember).

In the previous chapter, Viktor tries to make an escape attempt by running to the window and screaming for the cops. Now he thinks the cops won't believe him because of what he is. Why did you bother screaming for them in the first place, then?
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So he'll do that, but he won't take apart any other bit of equipment as a means of escape, which the real Viktor would actually do? The real Viktor would probably make a bomb with the microwave for shits and giggles. The fact he's never once considered this shows how neutered he is as a character.
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Reminder: Viktor is pregnant despite being on testosterone AND all his pain meds. Can't imagine how fucked up that rape baby is going to be.
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Viktor still thinks Jayce can be saved. What a fucking idiot. There really is no saving these kinds of characters.
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Yes, a YouTube tutorial is going to be enough to accurately detect fetal health. I'm glad Viktor didn't have to drink all those bottles of water and feel the need to piss all the time. He's 11 weeks along, past the point of using medication abortion (btw, THAT word or option has never once been brought up), and true to his man, he's going to keep the baby. It really is a LiveAction documentary in disguise.
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Yes, he's still fucking sane despite raping you for the sole purpose of having a baby. Fucking Christ, is your IQ in the single digits?

BTW, if Viktor was as smart as he was, there are other ways to induce miscarriage without using medication abortion. Specific foods such as Vitamin C (in high amounts) can change the pH balance and make it harder for the embryo to implant. The classic throwing yourself down the stairs works do, as does damage to the abdomen. All those pain pills might help, too. Viktor doesn't do that because he fears Jayce's wrath, but if Viktor didn't actually want to be pregnant, he'd take whatever option was necessary.
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You failed because you're retarded. All the red flags were there - the biggest one was you knowing Jayce was a BPD nutcase - and you still married him. 'Asking for it' doesn't even begin to lay out all the problems of this fic. Makes me wonder if Jayce's mother covered up her boy's bad behaviours so he could get bonus points for fucking a pooner's bonus hole.
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> Doesn't want to have a baby with his rapist
> Doesn't consider abortion
> Considers 11 weeks 'well into' the pregnancy, when it's still earlier enough to terminate the pregnancy

You sure Lila Rose didn't write this?

And you're a sloppy doll because you act like one, Viktor. Skill issue.
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That's right: despite having zippertits and injecting T, Jayce thinks it's a great idea for Viktor to breastfeed. He doesn't even know if there are any mammary glands left over, and doesn't consider that there may not be enough breastmilk to even nourish an infant. Viktor, who still makes use of his female reproductive organs, wonders why his dysphoria is popping up when he willingly got pregnant the first time. You cannot fix stupid.
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Troons: 'people aren't born men or women, they become them'
Also troons: 'HEY WHAT SHOULD WE NAME OUR NEWBORNS IF THEY'RE A BOY OR A GIRL?!'

How does Jayce know the sex of the fetus, or any fetus? How does Viktor know? And how can they tell if it's a home birth? By...looking at their genitalia? Fucking bioessentialist monsters, that's the real crime.
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He doesn't want to kill him because he doesn't want charges on his record, yet endured getting raped by his BPD husband because reasons. Something something ACAB. It's not hard to make people disappear; just go ask Jhin or Renata to help you cover it up.
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That's right: he's still going to keep the rape baby. Because even in a trans fic, we can't have abortion. That's too political.

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Mel Medarda is the richest person in Piltover. No one is touching her. She can get Camille, Jhin or anyone you want to take out Jayce - no questions asked. It's stupid to think she'd ever be shamed for this.
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> Hates dealing with cops
> Screamed for help from the cops 2 chapters ago
> Make it make sense

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All this talk and he still doesn't want to get rid of the rape baby. I'm glad he already went through all the emotional turmoil of keeping it. He really is a spokesperson for LiveAction!
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What gets me is that EVERYONE knew about Jayce's BPD shit except for Viktor, the man who's on the same intellectual level as him. He's that retarded to look past all the red flags because...what? Love? Getting that man pussy smashed? Enlighten me.

> It's because I do what I can to stop Jayce from Piltover - someone get your beta, this doesn't make sense.
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I'm surprised Camille at all people was willing to look past Jayce's crazy-ass behaviour. She would be the first to notice something was wrong with him and be skeptical of him not going back to the bottle. Even her intelligence is nerfed. Poor lass.
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Better hope you bring a gun, Sicario style.
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If you don't think the cops are going to be suspicious/not help, then just outright kill Jayce and be done with it. You're already a nobody and no one wants to deal with you, so just turn tail and leave. Get Renata to be your new sugar mommy and bail you out.

The bit about not being believed and how people don't believe in spousal rape is a hilarious lack of self-awareness. This is a pooner, writing about 'gay men' having sex (rape, actually), which leads to one of them getting pregnant, who then refuses to abort the child because we can't have those kinds of politics, and ignored every red flag because a nerfed Viktor is apparently cuter and more relatable, apparently.
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You don't need to actually keep the baby, you know. 11 weeks is still early. You can write a seahorse dad fic, with rape and everything, but you won't discuss termination? Fucking weak.
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5'8 is tall for a woman, yes. Average for a male.
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"I'm pregnant but I won't take any steps to end it, because we're not those kinds of people, even though I poisoned by fetus with exogenous testosterone and 50 different kinds of pain pills that would get me arrested as a normal woman. Now, can you give me a pillow and some bleach? Thanks."

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I'd agree because this Viktor is retarded and useless as hell, because the real Viktor would probably kill you with your own microwave if you did this to him. My boy is very creative.
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Jayce having his George Floyd moment, I see.
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That's not terrifying at all. What is terrifying is how easily Caitlyn buys is lies, though.
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It is funny to see her snap back at mouthy Jayce - not that that she doesn't notice how psychotic he's being.
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I wonder why a rich, powerful black woman has it out for you? Couldn't possibly be because everyone knows you're a BPD nutcase and is frankly dangerous to be around? 'Spite' is the nicest word I can think of for this man.
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Despite seeing all the bolted shut windows (which is something the real Caitlyn would immediately notice) and the heavy padded locks outside the door, she doesn't once wonder why Jayce placed them there when he would have security cameras. She just goes along with it because...reasons, I guess? And lmao at Jayce blaming it on hysterics. Typical moid moment.
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> Doesn't want Viktor giving birth in a prison cell
> Is fine making his own house a prison cell
> Caitlyn cannot tell that the windows are bolted shut, like a prison cell, in the house
> Insists he's a good guy despite being cagey and missing from work for weeks
Logic.
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The absolute fucking balls on this guy. He'd make a great villain, sure, if everyone weren't so fucking retarded going along with him. He's not exactly being subtle about what he is.
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> Wants to keep everything gender neutral
> Will someone know what the baby's sex is when it's born
Make it make sense. I thought genitalia had nothing to do with 'gender' or sex?
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Jayce with his inner Piltovan History X again. Someone get the ADL.
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I'm so glad other women believe the 'pregnant woman went into hysterics and ran off' lie. You'd think other women would wonder why a pregnant woman would ever pack up her shit and leave like that. It reads like a drummed up Twitter thread.
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Because you have made it pretty clear you hate her guts and think she's plotting against you. Jayce has never once been subtle with his emotions. It's a miracle how anyone thinks he's a good person in this.
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How come no one else is this fucking based?
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And she apparently wasn't concerned about all the bolted shut windows in the house. Because reasons.
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Nah, this isn't 'hysterics', and that's an outdated way of referring to someone you traumatized via rape and forced pregnancy. The gall of this man. All that research and he's more concerned about that than, oh, a traumatized woman at higher risk of miscarriage due to the stress (not include the T and all the pain pills!). 🤡
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Ah, finally a cop asks the real questions!
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You ARE a criminal, Jayce, but people are just too dumb to see you as the suspect because they willfully ignore your BPD shit. And it isn't like he can use his 'fuck you, I'm rich' excuse. Man is as obvious as P. Diddy without the backdoor support. No one would think he was innocent, logically.

Also, Viktor having an anti cop hissy fit while yelling for the cops a few chapters ago is funny as hell.
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The fact Camille isn't suspicious AT ALL despite Jayce clearly lying what he's up to is proof the only way this plot works is if everyone is dumbed down. Camille would be at his house, looking at fucking lawn and notice he has gone off the deep end. She's one person you cannot fool. Apparently she's skipping logic day because she can let him go for days without calling her and think he's hunky-dory. Shit writing, shit excuses.
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Also, the fact Camille doesn't notice how disheveled Viktor is, or why he went back to Zaun in a hurry, is also out-of-character for her. She'd ask him what was wrong or assume something was wrong because Viktor wouldn't really have a reason to go back to Zaun unless something bad happened. She'd put two and two together very quickly. Instead, she snitches to Jayce because we need another useless villain in this shit story.
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And Caitlyn is a snitch, too! What a great person! No one is asking why Viktor even went back there or why 'pregnancy hormones' is suddenly a foolproof excuse as to his leaving! They just take Jayce's word for it and that's it.
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Yeah, because everyone is retarded enough to look at the open BPD nutcase and think he's telling the truth, rather than assume not all is as it seems. Apparently, an 'idealistic cry for justice' doesn't include asking why a pregnant woman is running away so fast with her husband's car while their own was suspiciously destroyed. 'Just a fuss' indeed.
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That's it. That's the end. And did you know there's going to be a sequel? Neither did I. Apparently this couldn't be wrapped up by Jayce choking on toxic gas or getting strangled by Jhin. It ends with him gaslighting and manipulating characters that usually wouldn't be manipulated - even Vi would be asking serious questions as to why a pregnant woman ups and leaves - and takes a genius character and neuters him to where he's broke and helpless because he's a crippled trans man.

The story succeeded in making me hate Jayce - as well as everyone else. His gaslighting is obvious. It's openly admitted he's a borderline, but Viktor ignores those obvious red flags and just marries him. He doesn't notice or care for any of the bizarre behaviour Jayce exhibits and just thinks it's a consequence of the drinking. Yes, there are women fooled by manipulative husbands, but they tend to be a lot more subtle in their tricks. Jayce isn't. Viktor would be smart enough to see right through him - and he wouldn't be bound by locks or keys. That boy invented a fucking laser. He could bomb your house if he wanted to. If he wasn't nerfed, none of this would happen. It only is because everyone ignores the open BPD and lets him get away with it because he's a rich fuck.

This story irritated the hell out of me because of the characterizations. It would probably work in a fandom where the character WAS a BPD asshole, but Jayce in canon would never act this way. And Viktor would never be fooled by it if he was. He's so smart he apparently doesn't notice his missing pain pills and, noticeably, never stops going on T. Typical pooner things! Can't wait for the sequel. Eugh.

Here was a piece of fanart for this shit show:
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And to lighten the mood:
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"Cakeverse"​

You know shit's going to be crazy when it comes to fanfiction with an innocuous tag like Cakeverse, right?

Cakeverse is a theme similar to Omegaverse, where in omegaverse there are Alphas (dominant), Betas (neutral), and Gammas (submissive), cakeverse has Forks, Cakes, and Normals.
  • Cakes are characters who taste irresistible to Forks.
  • Forks are characters who, when consuming any part of a Cake, including bodily fluids and flesh, become addicted to the taste and will develop an extreme addiction to the taste of Cakes. This most commonly results in cannibalism toward Cakes.
  • Normals are normal.
Calling it insanity is redundant.
According to this website, it is created by Korean Xitter user Rune_communicat.
 

"Cakeverse"​

You know shit's going to be crazy when it comes to fanfiction with an innocuous tag like Cakeverse, right?

Cakeverse is a theme similar to Omegaverse, where in omegaverse there are Alphas (dominant), Betas (neutral), and Gammas (submissive), cakeverse has Forks, Cakes, and Normals.
  • Cakes are characters who taste irresistible to Forks.
  • Forks are characters who, when consuming any part of a Cake, including bodily fluids and flesh, become addicted to the taste and will develop an extreme addiction to the taste of Cakes. This most commonly results in cannibalism toward Cakes.
  • Normals are normal.
Calling it insanity is redundant.
According to this website, it is created by Korean Xitter user Rune_communicat.
Can't they just be normal about it and write about vampires like other people do?
 
I actually planned not to review this one, until I saw the tag 'Catholic guilt' in a fic about fucking a trans man. It was too good not to review after that, so give thanks to Snoelled, a trans 'man' who also suffers from Catholic guilt over sex and drugs and is happy with the headcanon (supported by one of Viktor's character designers) that he is a trans man.
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This line actually comes from another fic of hers, 'Should Have Listened' which involves tentacle porn (the plants the Hextech briefly brought to life become fully sentient and fucks both Jayce and Viktor). But this one was the more 'I make fun of vanilla sex while writing vanilla sex' fic, so here it is in all its unbound glory. Give thanks to Snoelled, the 'brilliant, funny, talented' pooner who graced us with this work. Archive here.

The summary:
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And the content warning:
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Aw shucks, guess I can't read it...oh wait, nevermind, this is my bread and butter, to provide entertainment to Kiwis who also love reading skewering of bad fics.
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One must wonder why a man is asking or worrying over so-called Catholic guilt when he willingly lets himself get sodomized by a woman pretending to be a man. This trope only really works when dealing with internalized homophobia, or a real contradiction of faith, not going to clubs getting fucked in the ass while high on meth or getting fucked by a pooner while high on weed. If your ass can fit a volleyball inside it, 'Catholic guilt' should be the last thing on your mind.
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There's a persistent headcanon that Viktor is a slut because of his voiceline, 'wait a minute this isn't my bedroom' which begs the question of whether he brought people back to his room to fuck. That's it. Of course, it makes it all the more funnier that it's a pooner saying it, because of the connection between testosterone and hypersexuality. Another persistent headcanon is that Jayce is autistic, hence the sensory overload and persistent panic attacks. It gets annoying real quick.

I hope the Twitch streamer they're watching isn't Tyler1. Imagine his yelling interrupting their sex, lmao.
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Ugh, that's not a collection of similes I'd use. Motor oil, smoke and weed don't smell good. With cooking spices and herbs from shampoo, that probably smells like an Indian kitchen. AKA it smells like shit. Weed smokers, even those who do it for actual anxiety issues (see: moi) knows that shit smells. That's why you pack the body spray, my dudes! And cigarettes are an AWFUL smell. You don't want that in your clothes.

"Metal power" - well the author did say this wasn't beta read, but I've covered beta read stories here that still read like shit, so don't feel bad.
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If you're talking to Viktor about sex yet cannot find the words to vocalize what you want, that's not Catholic guilt. That's just you being autistic. If you allow yourself to get pegged by a woman pretending to be a man, that's not a crisis of faith. That's just you being confused on whether you're gay or bisexual. Maybe you should ponder why this 'non vanilla' sex includes a lot of vaginal sex, and why a T-riddled vagina is still wet. A question for the big brained Kiwis, no doubt.
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Anxiety/Autistic Jayce gets on my nerves. Why are you having a mental breakdown over a talk YOU initiated? Probably should've had a toke in the morning before asking the big questions.

I cannot stress this enough: there is no point bitching about 'Catholic guilt' when you're already taking cocks up your ass. Repent or leave the faith. Jayce later admits he doesn't even believe in Catholicism anymore, so what's the big deal? It's clearly not his moral compass. It's just the author being retarded.
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So what's the big deal? Why are you having this crisis of faith when you no longer believe in it? You'll take a silicone cock from a pooner up your ass and it's no big deal, but smoking week and having sex is? Miss me with that bullshit.
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Excuse me, Viktor has PERFECTLY NORMAL teeth. The only 'crooked' bits are his front teeth. Get your goddamn details right.

I'd cry too if my boyfriend was having a mental breakdown over a question he asked. Pathetic.
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I'm quite sure Jayce is already anally experienced enough to take a didgeridoo up there. All you need is a bit of lube and some sensual background music - might I suggest Tyler1's 'GET THIS SHIT OFF ME' clip?
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Oof, half-hard all day? Amazed he hasn't fainted yet. Guy is a real trooper.

Now, one thing pooners always love writing about Viktor is that he's an uwu smol trans boi. Canonically he is thin because he's sick; if he was fit and healthy, he wouldn't be as big as Jayce (who works in a forge and those boys are huge) but he would have an athletic build. He also gets pretty muscular with his LoL counterpart after he starts augmenting himself. Pooner authors love writing Viktor as tiny because it makes the dynamic cuter, even when it just outright clocks them as women (this is just straight sex).

And yeah, imagine if Tyler1 or iShowSpeed came on. Bunch of yelling and shit getting thrown. Shit would be hilarious.
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You've taken dildos up your ass and probably a bunch of other shit, too. Stop with your guilt-tripping, anyone with a brain knows that's bullshit.
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No matter how hard you try, you will never convince me that a roid clit is equivalent to a cock. I would like to remind people that, on average, roid clits only get 1-2 inches long, maybe 3. That's it. A micropenis on an actual man. Something normally laughed about.
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Viktor actually has a cute butt, skinny and all. If he were fit and healthy it'd be caked to the max. Anyways, no, it's not always unromantic to talk about your partner's genitalia while you're fucking. It apparently is when your partner is a pooner, because then you have to watch your words because the pooner will start crying if you use 'vagina'. You need to use the totally sexy, totally specific word 'hole' for that.

Also, LMAO at this trop of Catholic guilt while willingly taking all manner of toys up the ass. That ain't guilt, bro, that's just you not admitting you like anal play.
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Pooners always have thick Rapunzel bushes and I have no clue why. Grooming apparently applies to cracking eggs and not trimming hair. Anyways, look at that big cock, hidden behind that bush. Imagine the shit Jayce has to pick out from his teeth afterwards.

This must be some good fucking weed, because that high also sounds like it's mixed with LSD. The author claims to speak from experience so yeah, it must've been pretty good weed.
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No, pooners, no matter how many YAAAS SOO HAWT comments you get, unless you're using 'hole' when describing actual male on male sex (because the anus is the only hole used), it will NEVER be sexy for your spicy straight fics. Ever. 'Entrance' is a perfectly suitable gender neutral term; you're also happy using cunt when it suits you, so don't use 'hole'. I will immediately send you a slap through the screen.

> "Letting his fingers slide in how they desperately keep trying to" - Trying to what? This sentence doesn't make sense. Should've ended at 'fingers slide in'.
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Damn, Jayce really out here so high he's counting individual hairs now. I will admit, the description of the out-of-body experience is actually kinda good, what with all the astronomy references and stars exploding. His brain being compared to an egg boiling on hot pavement is also funny. Take the wins when you can.
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Of course not. You have a vagina, not a 'front hole'; when aroused, it can do some amazing things. And it amazingly has not been dried out yet by T, because in these fics, you get all the magic of T, except without the ugly as fuck facial hair, the Kermit the Frog voice, and cracked and bleeding vagina and renal failure from all that T.

Now, another thing to notice is that pooners love writing the roid clit as comparable to a cock, so when you think of 'underside' you think it's big, when it's really 1-2 inches. Itty bitty pseudo dick, lmao.

"His hole is eating him alive" - Which one? All of them, including the urethra? Pooners actually hate it when you ask them this, because they legit don't know how many holes women have. They are fine using folds (labia) and are fine describing female ejaculation, but not the vagina. That's a 'hole'. And it will never be sexy, I will never stop saying that. You kill the mood once that word is used.
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> Small cock
> It's 1-2 inches
> Describe licking it like it's a blowjob
> Other pooners on Reddit say it's actually kinda painful to do it this way
> It's just bad fantasy
> FFffuck
> Says he's a part of Viktor now
> Can't place himself having a 'hole' that's being fucked, he's still the dick owner
> ???? Don't ask questions just consooom product
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Funny, because the author later writes that Jayce and Viktor have smoked before and he knows what being high is like. She retcons it here by saying he 'doesn't know' how it works despite Viktor taking it medically. You will sweat out weed if you chronically use it, but since Jayce doesn't, it will just stay in his system until its half-life is completed. Since the author allegedly has experience smoking weed while fucking (pooners are known to be drug users) she should how it works. Funny how I noticed this and she didn't.
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> Hole is red and stretched open
Again, which hole you dumb bitch? And yes, women are capable of multiple orgasms during a sex session, why are you surprised he's still wet?
> Little cock is swollen and abused
Sounds like that hurt, because the clit has more nerve endings than a penis does. And how is it 'exerting itself' when it's only 1-2 inches long? 🤨
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Which fucking hole are you talking about? You can use male genitalia just fine, but you have to bend over backwards to avoid describing female genitalia. Fuck off.

Now, the clitoris does have a foreskin of sorts - it's the clitoral hood - but the way it's written is to make it appear it has one similar to a male's penis. It is not. Not to mention this author can't even get the description of Viktor's 'cock' right: one sentence it's written as a 'little cock', the next it's written as a 'long, thick nub'. Which is it? Is it long enough to have an underside, or not?

> Lapping up his cum from Viktor's hole
HOW MANY TIMES DO I NEED TO SAY IT, 'HOLE' IS NOT SEXY. You aren't talking about the asshole, you're talking about the vagina. Entrance is completely fucking fine - USE IT.
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WHAT DID I JUST SAY, MOTHERFUCKER?

Whose cock is clenching and twitching? It ain't Viktor's, because this inconsistent clitoris can't decide whether it's long or a short wee nub. The fact Jayce has to 'pull back' the clitoral hood despite it already being erect makes me think it isn't that long to begin with.
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I can imagine Jayce's tongue poking at this roid clit, which magically changes size, and which some trans men say can't be treated like a regular dick because it hurts. But hey, he managed to make Viktor squirt out of his 'hole', so that's worth the wait, eh?
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"That was so fucking hot"
Not with the 'hole' language, it isn't.
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😑😐How many times do I need to say it...using 'hole' as a way to avoid using 'vagina' when 'entrance' serves the role just fine and manages to keep the sex going is just retarded. Not to mention licking sperm from the anus is seen as a health risk, even if it is from your partner. Clean that shit up.
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I wouldn't worry about Catholic guilt so much as worrying whether your pooner 'boyfriend' actually loves you or not. You shouldn't be having these conversations if you already live in a domestic partnership. Imagine living with a 6'2 anxious mess of a man who has panic attacks over literally nothing, needs to be tard wrangled, and insists he feels guilt over getting anally pounded when it ain't God judging him but the tism. You already left God behind, friendo. That's just you wondering whether you getting your butt munched by a woman pretending to be a man makes you gay or not. God has already left the building because you were too much of a tard. Give it a few years and instead of female ejaculate on your face, you need to clean up blood from that cracked and bleeding T-riddled vagina. Maybe there'll be kidney failure in the future, who knows. But don't bother baiting with 'Catholic guilt' when your character has seen more dicks than P. Diddy.

You're also not going to believe who left a comment on this fic, the 'Dom triggers are activated' and 'It's OK if Haitians eat your cats' and 'writing villains if for kindergartners' Craig:
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And another guest I didn't think I'd see:
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small world, eh?

Also wanted to cover that purple prose titled CoD fic. Archive here. Luckily for us, the author, a trans man, has eaten pussy before. We are in good hands.
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Call your beta, faguette. Mistakes like this shouldn't exist.
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> Says he's heavy
> pooners generally have less muscle mass and pound for pound power than males
> LMAO FAT
I wonder how he huffs and puffs around the obstacle courses?
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Indeed. Such a purple prose title for such basic bitch ass porn.
WE LOVE WRITING GAY MEN UP IN HERE, DON'T WE FOLKS?
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>general Modern AU (very few details! You could pretend it is not an AU if you really want and squint really hard)
Honestly I think I hate this more than the trans stuff. Modern AUs and their various hellish subcategories - flower/coffee shop AU, high school/college AU, workplace AU, band AU, roommates AU, non-magic/all human/mundane AU, camwhore AU - literally exist just to strip all the charm and uniqueness out of the source material. With some it's probably technically possible to do something good, or at least something funny (fancomics of classic novels where the characters exist in the modern day can sometimes have good jokes, though I don't think many would translate well to a full fanfic universe. There are also some pretty good parodies out there), but the overwhelming majority just exist because the author wants to write porn and can't be bothered to include so much as a setting detail. Or theyre romanticizing online prostitution, hence my inclusion of camwhore AU in that list.
If it's a modern AU and also a genfic, god help you. These are only acceptable if the author is under the age of 12 and taking "write what you know" way too seriously. Anyone over the age of 13 who is incapable of writing anything with any degree of fantasy - especially when it's fanfic, so there are literally already rules for the setting laid out in the source material - desperately needs to find another, less creative hobby. Some people just ain't cut out for the arts. There's nothing wrong with that! Go take up mountain climbing or stamp collecting or something!

In an even lower circle of hell than a modern AU is an actor AU. Imagine a modern AU, but instead of characters from the series being placed into a boring lifeless setting, it's quite literally the author's OCs who play the characters on TV. Not to be confused with RPF. It's not about the real life actors, and not necessarily written about a series has real life actors. Literally, in the AU the source material is an in-universe TV show (or movie, or whatever) and the characters in the fic are the actors who play the characters on the show. They have nothing in commn with the characters. Different personalities, different names. The literal only similarity is their appearance - and this is A TEXTUAL MEDIUM -- and these fucking authors have the audacity to tag it with the ship name anyway! Bitch, if I cliked on a Phoenix Wright x Miles Edgeworth fic I am not here for bland OC #1 who plays Phoenix on TV x bland OC #2 who plays Edgeworth on TV! Who the fuck wants to read that?!

Thankfully, I don't think I've actually seen anyone write one of those in years, but they were surprisingly popular for a time.
 
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Have YOU ever wondered how A/B/O works? How authors explain away the weird biology, setting, and systemic inequalities? Well look no further, an author who wants to correct that trend gives us a hearty explanation - and is proud of the 'haters' making her fic famous. Archive here.

She states she loves getting feedback, but only a certain kind, mind you. If you are rude in any way, she will state that you are 'being mean' and that she would totally take your advice if you were nice.
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Ah yes, get a real hobby...like writing a universe where trans people exist (?) and where alphas cannot transition (she admitted this in her own writing) despite getting force fed pills, but omegas can absolutely change secondary gender. Whatever that is. I'll let Kensington do the talking.
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See? It's not that deep. Don't think about it too much. Thinking about it too much leads to questions on how this world building actually works and we can't have that. It's quantum entanglement, how a species allegedly based on humans but are actually shape shifters use outdated wolf pack dynamics and possess venom glands used for fucking - but never for an offensive purpose. There's also telepathy! But also no explanation as to how alphas become alphas or why they are alphas to begin with, because that's Asking Too Much and It's Not That Hard.
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Brought to you by Pfizer!

So, Kensington says she's using modern science, in a realm that's somewhat fantasy. Alphas can get pills made for them to enter bite stages - and to transition! - but omegas don't. Omegas have to stay omegas and can only 'become' alphas if they top during sex - and that's after a mass rut. Alphas can become pseudo-omegas but never true omegas, because They Were Born That Way and You Can't Change That. Betas can swap 'sexes' somewhat, or at least their roles, and still don't really do anything to undermine this totally not binary binary system the author claims she is fixing.

But hey, she at least admits the idea of ass babies is retarded. Points there. But she undermines said point by saying it's jut a breeding kink, when the entire genre is one big breeding kink.
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Words have meaning, and Kensington likes to bring up secondary genders later in this work. So what does she mean by 'sex' here? She doesn't really answer. Keep in mind when she writes that male omegas and female alphas have the same anatomy - she later retcons this a few paragraphs later. Talk about logical inconsistencies. She also writes that both these groups can sire children, and that omegas can sire children all the time, but that female alphas really don't and still have to 'bottom' to be impregnated. Talk about logical inconsistencies - and yes, she retcons this point too just a few paragraphs later.

In this universe, 'packs' - groups of bonded and non bonded pairs, have a fuck session that lasts a week, non stop. Omeags don't eat, but eat via 'heat' like they're plants utilizing photosynthesis. They also - get this - eat Fallopian cum:
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That's right: all that sperm being dumped into the abdominal cavity doesn't lead to any kind of immunological reaction, instead acting as a kind of stoma bag for cum instead of shit. The Fallopian tubes, mind you, lead to the ovaries, which in turn connects to the uterus. If they don't have caps, or attach to anything, the eggs - which male omegas allegedly produce - have nowhere to go. But somehow, they can dump cum in obscene amounts and because said sperm manages to defy gravity and stay up there via quantum entanglement and telekinesis, it's equivalent to a three course meal.

Kensington also writes that female alphas have breasts, yet male omegas do not, yet it's the alphas who produce 'heat milk' because they somehow case, and they can only do it if they are proud butt pirates and not suffering from any internalized homophobia - which apparently exists in a world where both sexes can get pregnant. Such nice world building! You're just a red piller if you don't want tit milk coming out of your man tits, right after you produce McDonald's sperm.
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It's uncomfortable for real world women to imagine themselves in a society where one group is permanently oppressed, cannot escape said oppression, and cannot move up in the world because of an innate caste system based on how one was born - let's go ahead and craft an entire fandom around it without an ounce of self awareness! How can you be addressing harmful gender stereotypes when you directly perpetuate them? And female characters - if they do show up - are really just there as fag hags and support to the omegas, who are just there to give birth. Literally, 9/10 the fic is about them shitting out a baby. It doesn't matter what the fandom is. The plots are always the same. I do like the casual admission that A/B/O really does profess all the stereotypes it claims to fight and how One Brave Woman is trying to Fix Gender.

In nature, humans were never really egalitarian. Before agriculture, humans used to go on war raiding parties to kill other tribe members and steal their women. Such world building.

Now, one has to wonder what Kensington means by the word 'female'. She has female alphas and omegas, which she includes under the 'female' term - while they are male. And no, there is no demarcation between sex and gender - she treats them the same. One has to laugh, though, at her attempt to nobly rewrite such a retarded concept by casually admitting it's all about alphas wanting to get their dicks wet.

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They like using 'pack' because it's better than writing 'tribe', because that has nationalist connotations and we Do Not Want a 1488 in here. These non-human humans don't have homes, they have 'nests' and 'dens' like they are animals (they don't even have huts, the fuck?) and children form...puppy packs which does NOT sound fetishistic at all. Pack bonds are formed based on venom, which again is a sex pheromone and friendship juice, but is never used for defensive/offensive purposes as actual venom is. It apparently opens one's mind as if we're in the X-Men or drank something foul from Vault-Tech.
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You're right, it is dumb - and you're still cowardly enough not to go the whole way because you risk the wrath of ABO authors.

So - we heard earlier that both male omegas and female alphas can get pregnant, but only the male ones can get pregnant all the time because their uterus magically works better when they get fucked en-masse during the week long fuck session - and ONLY through bottoming. Why does their body awaken and not the female alpha's? Reasons. Stop Asking Questions. Note she mentioned uterus: not eggs. Where are the eggs going, if they are not released during a non existent menstruation? Oh, right, I forgot the author wants it both ways: she wants varying animal anatomies to apply to these pseudo-shifting humans, who can and cannot change sex and need magic pills to do that.

Not to mention if omegas never actually USE said uterus...why write that they can get pregnant at any time? This means the uterus is always working. That it keeps pumping out hormones and eggs like our intestines process water and shit. Oh, right, logical inconsistencies.

Ironic she uses 'human uterus haver' yet had no issue using 'sire' - a term used for males. She's also using language we commonly use for breeding animals, so there goes her entire Smashing the Binary talk. 'Sire' is fine, but 'dame' is not, because Gender.
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> Writes that male omegas and female alphas can both get pregnant
> Writes that only male omegas can get pregnant all the time
> A sentence later writes that female alphas can indeed get pregnant, but only if they 'bottom'
> Writes that she hates how omegas are written as weak, but just wrote that only bottoms can 'receive seed'
> Writes that sexism and misogyny are more complicated, creates a complicated world where it's based on caste, who fucks whom, and whether one tops or bottoms
> Does not realize how retarded this is
> Wew, lad

So, there is prejudice against male omegas and female alphas for siring children...despite Kensington writing her omegas as being more territorial and aggressive. Why is Soap getting transphobic comments when sex doesn't exist? Read and find out.

Note: she also wrote that male omegas and female alphas have the same parts, meaning they both have uteruses, labia, and dicks, so Soap getting 'hate' for that is her forgetting what the fuck she wrote.
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> Doesn't want to separate omegas into stereotypes for women
> Still abides by those stereotypes because she cannot world build and forgets what she wrote paragraphs before
> Admits the ABO system is rape-y, yet abides by those rules
> Complains about 'red pill idiots', has a stricter caste system than India
> Mentions the Duggars, doesn't explain how week long sex parties and Fallopian tube cum will actually keep a fully grown human fed
> It's all so retarded
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Here's the fun part. 'Girl' is gender neutral, but 'male' and 'female' clearly have meaning because otherwise the 'male omega' would just be female despite having the same parts, yet they are not called female. And yes, the 'Fallopian tube cum' thing is real, read that bit about 'ingesting alpha semen'. You heard it right here, folks.

Alphas cannot transition into an omega because They Were Born that Way, and still can't change despite participating in mandatory fuck parties. So they can take pills to somewhat change their role, but omegas cannot. You Will Never Be a True Alpha. Sounds TERFy.

The bit about desperately wanting to change sex/gender IRL is her both admitting that A) we cannot change sex and B) she doesn't know how human evolution works because otherwise, ABO would be thrown right in the trash. She writes that 'man and woman have no concrete definition', but male and female do, apparently. And alpha and omega have meaning, and CANNOT be undermined or changed like Gender. Sound TERFy? It is. And you have to love the 'erm, gender isn't binary IRL' comment there, as if she fucking knows the difference between sex and gender.

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What does she mean by 'secondary gender'? She doesn't explain, because by her admission, man and woman, as a category, do not exist...but male and female do. Emphasis on the word 'could' there for the alpha becoming an omega: he has to basically be convinced to do so, and be on a bunch of pills - but it still wouldn't make them an omega. Still sound TERFy? You bet your ass it does. Being an omega sounds fucking terrible, and even with the pills and 'transition' an alpha Can Never Be a Real Omega. And if you're an omega, you can ONLY bottom, you can never top, because Those Are Your Instincts and you cannot deviate from those.

For this Very Gender discourse, alphas are always universally male, because 'female alphas' are misnomers - they're technically no different from male alphas. Difference is, alphas are the True Males because they don't have a uterus or produce eggs, just loud and proud cock and ball havers. The admission that omegas are just women is Peak Genderspecial, but you'll get it if you prod enough.

And yes, they produce ass slick because even though Kensington said she was grossed out by ass babies, they still have anal sex because there's a magic channel in male omegas that connects the uterus to the anal canal. Fun! Must be where all the Fallopian tube cum gets spilled.
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Even smut can and will be picked apart, especially how the author writes said smut and how the characters are acting, etc (see Rapunzel pubes fic). The admission that it's nearly all women writing these fics is also fucking hilarious - women heralding Oppression, but With Gay Gender Sex.

Kensington is always right - remember that. Alphas cannot become omegas even when they take tranny juice but they can produce 'heat milk' while female alphas cannot, and imprint on their mates yet are not aggressive yet CAN BE aggressive because we are Undoing Gender and Undoing Rape.
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"Consensual non consent" bitch this is a caste system, do not redeem

Yeah I can imagine why it'd be kinky for you. Males biting each other is sexy, but women appearing as people? Fuck that shit.
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Alphas were previously written as being intimidated by omegas who are very territorial and/or guarded by betas in their pack, now they are written as being aggressive and domineering if they don't get what they want. Kensington, one tip for any writer I can offer is this: remember what you fucking wrote. Because there will be autists will be nitpicking and there's nothing more humiliating that retconning your own work several fucking paragraphs later.
She doesn't like this 'rape-y' caste system, but you cannot control your instincts, sweetie 😙🤗You have to bottom in order to get pregnant and goddammit, we love Transcending Gender, don't we? Alphas need a rape rack like how they breed rams, because they cannot control themselves, and they can't be Prison Gay because bottoming is Just So Goddamn Awful for alphas. They're like men afraid of wiping their own ass because they think it's gay. Defeating Gender!

And yes, she wrote that alphas are literally mouth-breathing retards:
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> Says sex and gender are complicated
> Mentions secondary genders, does not elaborate
> Says you can change gender/sex, but omegas cannot. Only alphas can and they can never become true omegas, because World Building
> She put in so much thought
> Mentions 'different sexes', only says that male omegas go through heats, female alphas really don't because they are alphas
> Complains about gender essentialism, sounds like TruScum in writing
> Uses her 'But I am a middle class white American, plz forgive me' to deflect criticism
> Doesn't like groups being grouped by reproductive category, writes an entire treatise on how male omegas can breed at any time and can only be bred by bottoming
> Mentions trans men and trans women siring kids, unaware that trans men get pregnant because they are female, and transwomen can only sire kids if they get their sperm frozen
> Mentions the Kratos pooner, who is like 5'4 and can be clocked by the wrists and eyes alone
> Makes an entire caste system based on highly oppressive, demeaning traits and thinks she is better because it is less rapey
> ALPHA SPERM INGESTION
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Secondary genders (what are they?) exist, and transphobia allegedly exists...but homosexuality? Well, we just don't know, because man/woman/male/female have no concrete definition despite secondary sex characteristics. It's a social construct but alphas need to top and cannot become full omegas even with pills because it's very TERFy. Someone send this to Mary Cate Delvey to read; I want to see her reaction to ALPHA SPERM INGESTION.

But don't be condescending, she pays taxes and writes about ALPHA SPERM INGESTION
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Note: she did not, in fact, elaborate; she just did a 'hand wavey' gesture. She mentions secondary sex characteristics here, but heavily focused on secondary gender, which she did not elaborate on. She also writes that omegas can actually change to alphas...even when she literally wrote that no alpha can ever be a true omega and vice versa. You have to be on fucking troon pills for that. She also did not write that bottoms can top - she made it clear that only tops can impregnate, and that cannot be changed when her 'male omegas' are in heat. And no, you dumb bitch, that's not what you wrote regarding the 'parts'. Male omegas and female alphas, you wrote, have the same parts, but only male omegas can get pregnant at any time. Female alphas cannot, because Reasons.

These people need to learn what a strawman is. The 'well you can speak to me like a person' argument doesn't work, because you know this bitch would lecture you on what to say regarding 'gender essentialism' and 'red pill content'. Also, writing such dumb shit like the fallopian tubes dumping semen into the stomach like they're the Nordstream pipeline. This would have been lampooned on dramatic reading YouTube channels years ago.

They're not about learning - they want YOU to 'unpack your biases'. You hit back with a smidgen of the snark they give, you're the bitch.

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And Link isn't going to fuck your cracked, T-ridden vagina and hulking fat ass that cracks the toilet seat.

Honestly I think I hate this more than the trans stuff. Modern AUs and their various hellish subcategories - flower/coffee shop AU, high school/college AU, workplace AU, band AU, roommates AU, non-magic/all human/mundane AU, camwhore AU - literally exist just to strip all the charm and uniqueness out of the source material.
You nailed it. Those AUs just take the magic out of the universe you're writing for. It makes it into published rom-com slop that they complain about on TikTok/twitter/tumblr for being 'mundane' and 'predictable'. Camwhore ones are ridiculous because IRL, most camwhores sell their OFs for cheaper than KFC combo meals because they can't make bank. Don't even get me started on the FTM porn because all I can think about is them sounding like Kermit once they start going 'oh fuck' during the scene.
 
Imagine trying to create a "better" version of A/B/O and somehow making it even more retarded.

Oh my god. Just go back to dogfuck rapeworld assbabies with no women in sight. It's okay. It's just fanfic. It doesn't need to deconstruct anything. It doesn't need to involve social commentary. It doesn't need to take 5000 genders and "muh sex binary" into account. It's porn! It's okay to just be horny!
 
It doesn't need to take 5000 genders and "muh sex binary" into account. It's porn! It's okay to just be horny!

Omegaverse is so big nowadays that people have to tag which flavor of A/B/O they're writing, hence tags like "female alphas have penises" or "male omegas are sterile" to specify what direction that author's taking it. I'm not surprised people miss tags, either writing or reading.

If they're really bothered they could just call it something else to distinguish their own take, and to dissuade anyone who is going to argue about what A/B/O "should" be.

Isn't there an Asian flower thing with pistils and stamens, and I know I've seen people write bee-inspired A/B/O universes (drones did not have their penis explode and die after mating; it was mostly just orgies although I think I recall a queen fight).

The whole Omegaverse thing isn't wholly new, it's just popular. It got big with werewolf overtones, but look back to Pon Farr and any number of sex pollen/mpreg/vampire thrall/in heat tropes The Sentinel, which had its breakaway trope get infinitely more traction than the franchise it came from.

Remember when people were writing stories in "BDSM-verse," where characters got branded as a sub/dom/switch at some point and of course our hero was wearing a wristband so nobody knew etc? I seem to recall that was equally prevalent as Omegaverse when they were both starting, and then one outpaced the other. I would like someone to write scholarly works on this please.

Anyway, so this lady just needs to figure out a different name for her universe and have a paragraph in the intro saying "hey this is Mole Rat-verse it's kinda like A/B/O except x, y, z, everything else will come up in the story."
 
have a paragraph in the intro saying "hey this is Mole Rat-verse it's kinda like A/B/O except x, y, z, everything else will come up in the story."

Actually, that's another thing that bothers me about that dumb essay. If the author were even halfway competent, all of that information could have been communicated in the fic itself, instead of a seperate work whose sole purpose is to delineate the Improved™️ mechanics. Yes, when other people attempt this it's usually clunky, out of place, and "tell don't show". But at least those tards are making an effort to integrate it into the story and introduce it in a way that feels natural (even if they don't succeed). This "author" has just given up and written a wiki article.
And it's not even like she was going into a lot of technical detail that would be difficult to write into a story unless she had some scientist character who popped up to explain. Look at how much she handwaves stuff!

Truly, this is the worst kind of spergery.
 
Guys and gals, even if nobody cares:
I can proudly say that I have never once in my life read an A/B/O fanfic and don't ever plan on doing so. Not even for the lulz and memes.

That's why I appreciate Chandelier & her TL;DRs of the most horrendous garbage out there so much. :heart-full: ✨
 
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