Expat Life - You can't die in a gulag if you're 5000 miles away

[Maori Kiwifruit Growers]

I've lived in Mexico, but nearly 20 years ago. There's a jew community in Mexico City if that matters to you, but Mexico City sucks dick imo. I'm fairly sure Mexicans aren't bananas about jews anyway, so there's that too.
I lived in Puerto Vallarta which was divine. I was there for 8 months and it cost me about $6k. You have to shop at the markets, and not party all the time, but I had a great life of reading, wandering around, drinking beers on the beach.
The political situation is "changeable" though. I had spent a lot of time in Guanajuato which was very safe at the time, but I have heard it's now the Cartel murder capital.
US politics are massively important, and being perceived as a gringo is often a problem. I was abused several times until I said "soy Kangaro" and then it was cool. For some reason Australians are called Kangarooos in Mexico. I don't know if saying you're Israeli would be a positive or a negative though. Mexicans are generally left wing (as in Che Gueverra worshipping), so God knows what the current discourse is.
Legally, I dont know what the deal is, I just stayed, but I assume that isn't a realistic idea long term.
Mexican girls are painfully hot, though apparently they balloon once they've had a kid or two. They also epitomise the "crazy in the head, crazy in the bed" cliche. She will start fights, but you will get to fuck the crazy out of her afterwards. Finally, if you decide to get a Mexican lady, you will be late for every event, always and forever.

Any tips on getting Mexican permanent residency? My opinion is that I "discovered" my grandfather was actually born in Mexico plz give me citizenship. I'm not lying for real, for real, no cap." Because I want to be able to get some property, even if for investments. Oh don't get me started about Mexican Jews. I dated one for a time. There were times I was afraid I would wake up without my penis. But it ended when she moved away for grad school. The general thing is they're a small "ancient" community (most of them are Sephardic and came over after 1492) and they HATE the president (but I have heard everyone there does now but I digress). I am only pushing mexico because I a) know enough spanish to get by/ have enough of a base a little education will make me fluentish and b) it's close enough to america that if I need to/want to go back for anything (work, family hell even to vote), it won't be that hard and c) Mexico is "Americanized" enough that they have things like Costco.

On the women, they are either hot as fuck or ugly no in between.

When it comes to the Jews/Israel, I have heard that GENERALLY most Mexicans don't care, I mean, they might care in the Catholic sense, but no one will actually give a fuck. I think they hate muslims more (but you tell me).

Correct me if I am wrong, but barring living in the known cartel hellholes to actually get fucked by the cartels, you have to make yourself a target/get involved with them. Right? I don't do drugs or anything like that so I assume they wouldn't care about me enough to kill me, right?

 

[Frostnipped Todger]

Any tips on getting Mexican permanent residency?

None at all. I met a few Europeans who had lived there for decades, but they had just overstayed their visas (mostly because they had run out of money, and couldn't earn enough to get a ticket home).

Correct me if I am wrong, but barring living in the known cartel hellholes to actually get fucked by the cartels, you have to make yourself a target/get involved with them. Right? I don't do drugs or anything like that so I assume they wouldn't care about me enough to kill me, right?

Sort of. Your chances of being killed are very low if you're not involved in Cartel related businesses. There's always the possibility of abduction, either for ransom, or organ harvesting, but it's probably not going to happen.
The bigger issue is (like what happened in Guanajuato) you might be settled in a lovely peaceful area, and then the Cartels move in and fuck it up.
You don't really live "in Mexico", just like you don't live "in the USA", or "in Australia", it's too big and too diverse. You live in a particular city, or even a particular neighbourhood. My ex-girlfriend for example lived in the posh parts of her city, and went to the posh areas of the other cities that she visited. She would never go to the poor areas of Mexico City, or even get out of the car in certain small towns that we passed through. I grew up poor, so I felt comfortable being around those people, so I did.
If you put all your financial eggs in one basket, you might find that you now own property that nobody wants.

 

[Maori Kiwifruit Growers]

None at all. I met a few Europeans who had lived there for decades, but they had just overstayed their visas (mostly because they had run out of money, and couldn't earn enough to get a ticket home).

Sort of. Your chances of being killed are very low if you're not involved in Cartel related businesses. There's always the possibility of abduction, either for ransom, or organ harvesting, but it's probably not going to happen.
The bigger issue is (like what happened in Guanajuato) you might be settled in a lovely peaceful area, and then the Cartels move in and fuck it up.
You don't really live "in Mexico", just like you don't live "in the USA", or "in Australia", it's too big and too diverse. You live in a particular city, or even a particular neighbourhood. My ex-girlfriend for example lived in the posh parts of her city, and went to the posh areas of the other cities that she visited. She would never go to the poor areas of Mexico City, or even get out of the car in certain small towns that we passed through. I grew up poor, so I felt comfortable being around those people, so I did.
If you put all your financial eggs in one basket, you might find that you now own property that nobody wants.

well if the cartels start to roll up can't you just move out and go to another area? I know it must suck but at least you're not dead.

Are there any areas in mexico that just aren't worth living in (baja cali, the nothern border area, the area down by centeral america for example)?

 

[Frostnipped Todger]

well if the cartels start to roll up can't you just move out and go to another area? I know it must suck but at least you're not dead.

Are there any areas in mexico that just aren't worth living in (baja cali, the nothern border area, the area down by centeral america for example)?

I guess it depends how quickly they move in. A few extra drug dealers on the street aren't a big deal, but a bombing, or a massacre could be.

From what I've heard, the North is fucking hot. It's basically cattle and cartel country. Obviously, anywhere near the border is going to have a big cartel presence. Plus illegals who are trying to cross the border aren't the most honourable people, so robberies and rapes are very common.

The south is similar, but hot and humid. I have heard (again, this came from my ex-girlfriend, who was upper class) that it was riddled with violent gangs.

Mexico (to me) is basically 3 different peoples: North, Central, and South. Northerners are more like Texans than the rest. A lot of cowboys, taller (because of interbreeding with americans across the border), more independent.
Central Mexicans are the "default" when you think of Mexicans. More European blood, and way more racist.
Southern Mexicans are more indigenous, more poor, more insular. They hate the tourists that come to look at them, but also need them.

I've never been to the east coast, so I can't offer any advice there, and Baja California is essentially just a holiday spot for rich Americans, so light skin probably just marks you out as someone to take advantage of.