Everyday Feminism - aka Everyday Autism

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So how much did EF pay to that squaw? Was it in cash or in coupons for their "space going fast" web seminars?
 
Vorhtbame said:
So they're upset that their men aren't emotionally distant and closed?
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If their men are emotionally distant and closed → "You rely on me to put extra effort to maintain the relationship. I want compensation for my emotional labor!!"
If their men aren't emotionally distant and closed → "You are dumping your negativity on me and treat me as a free counselor. I want compensation for my emotional labor!!"
 
Positron said:
If their men are emotionally distant and closed → "You rely on me to put extra effort to maintain the relationship. I want compensation for my emotional labor!!"
If their men aren't emotionally distant and closed → "You are dumping your negativity on me and treat me as a free counselor. I want compensation for my emotional labor!!"
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And then they screech like incels when they're dumped for a Stacy for being hideous, toxic harpies.
 
Yaoi Huntress Earth said:
I'm curious why that is.
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usually they say that men of their own ethnic group are more sexist, which might be true in some cases, but I think it's also that white men are the most likely to be soyboy pushover types.

Here's an article from a black woman talking about it:
http://gal-dem.com/favourite-bloggers-dating-white-men/

The lads over at r/aznidentity love to talk about this phenomenon with regards to Asian woman. They're often derided as incels for this, and sometimes they are pretty awful about it, but other times they have a point. There's a lot of examples of Asian women dating white men being really shitty toward Asian men or having some kind of mixed baby fetish.
 
Emotional labor is one of those terms, like microaggression, that has a valid reason to exist, and can be useful to symbolize a concept that otherwise takes a lot of words to explain.

Having your wife call your mom to tell her you can't make the family party because you don't want to deal with the guilt trip would be a good example of "Emotional Labor". You made your wife deal with all that unpleasantness instead of you. There's a lot of little stuff like this that women are expected to just do in relationships, so calling it "Emotional labor" is helpful, as it illustrates that this is, in fact, work you're asking someone to do for you.

Of course it gets taken too far, people in relationships are supposed to be willing to do some "Emotional labor" for the sake of the relationship. And then you get the internet morons demanding to be paid for their "Emotional Labor" which is bullshit, as some random person whipping themselves into a frenzy is not your problem.

Microaggressions are the same sort of idea. It's useful to introduce the concept "Yeah, asking to touch a black dude's hair isn't that big of a deal, but imagine how annoying it is when that happens with every single white person you meet". It's a good way to understand someone else's point of view, and to better understand their reaction. It, of course, gets taken too far, as people see it as an excuse to be an asshole, or to flip out over minor things.

Hell, the whole "Racism = power + prejudice" thing has value within the correct context. When you're trying to talk about institutional racism, some random black lady hating white people is not relevant. When you're talking about entire systems, this point of view makes some sense, and keeps you from having to say "Institutional" a million times. Trying to apply it outside of that context is bullshit though. I am not a system, and if a random black person hates me because they don't like my skin color, that's fucking racist.
 
Gaslighting is another term that has been totally ruined. I don't think people can handle any word or phrase that doesn't have an extremely well defined meaning.

My other issue with microagressions is that the rich college types of Everyday Feminism use that as their sole way of talking about racism. I think it's because they really hate talking about class, 'cause they're rich and pretending like being rich and black means you're not privileged. Really awful racism disproportionately affects the poor, but yet...what happens to them also generally happens to white people, just less often. So maybe black people get unfairly evicted more than white people, but white people still do get unfairly evicted. Everyday Feminism/The Root types openly hate poor white people (they hate poor black people too, they just don't say it as loud), so they can't talk about that--like, I've seen people saying that if you say you want to help the working class, you're racist, because they think only white people are working class or something. And because they've never experienced true hardship, because of economic privilege. Time for more kvetching about white people with dreadlocks!
 
Crunchy Leaf said:
My other issue with microagressions is that the rich college types of Everyday Feminism use that as their sole way of talking about racism. I think it's because they really hate talking about class, 'cause they're rich and pretending like being rich and black means you're not privileged. Really awful racism disproportionately affects the poor, but yet...what happens to them also generally happens to white people, just less often. So maybe black people get unfairly evicted more than white people, but white people still do get unfairly evicted. Everyday Feminism/The Root types openly hate poor white people (they hate poor black people too, they just don't say it as loud), so they can't talk about that--like, I've seen people saying that if you say you want to help the working class, you're racist, because they think only white people are working class or something. And because they've never experienced true hardship, because of economic privilege. Time for more kvetching about white people with dreadlocks!
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Peggy McIntosh's 1988 paper "White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack" is considered to be a seminal work in the field of intersectional politics. Peggy grew up in one of America's wealthiest towns, attended Radcliffe, the University of London, and Harvard. She married into a family heavily connected in academia; her father-in-law was a Professor Emeritus at Columbia, and her mother-in-law was President Emeritus of Barnard College, an institution in the opulent Morningside Heights district of Manhattan, famous since 1889 for providing the daughters of the wealthiest Americans with liberal arts degrees.

In other words, Peggy McIntosh was born into the very cream of America’s aristocratic elite, and has remained there ever since. Given her stated conviction that she has unfairly benefited from her skin color, there seems to be no record of her involvement in any charity or civil rights work. Her ‘experiential’ list of the ways she benefits from being born white simply confuses racial privilege with the financial advantages she has always been fortunate enough to enjoy.
 
Wallace said:
Peggy McIntosh's 1988 paper "White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack" is considered to be a seminal work in the field of intersectional politics. Peggy grew up in one of America's wealthiest towns, attended Radcliffe, the University of London, and Harvard. She married into a family heavily connected in academia; her father-in-law was a Professor Emeritus at Columbia, and her mother-in-law was President Emeritus of Barnard College, an institution in the opulent Morningside Heights district of Manhattan, famous since 1889 for providing the daughters of the wealthiest Americans with liberal arts degrees.

In other words, Peggy McIntosh was born into the very cream of America’s aristocratic elite, and has remained there ever since. Given her stated conviction that she has unfairly benefited from her skin color, there seems to be no record of her involvement in any charity or civil rights work. Her ‘experiential’ list of the ways she benefits from being born white simply confuses racial privilege with the financial advantages she has always been fortunate enough to enjoy.
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I know!

3. If I should need to move, I can be pretty sure of renting or purchasing housing in an area which I can afford and in which I would want to live.
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Fuck, talk about class privilege! Also, only a blueblood would ever say 'If I should need to move'. What is this, Latin class?

Or:
18. I can swear, or dress in second hand clothes, or not answer letters, without having people attribute these choices to the bad morals, the poverty or the illiteracy of my race.
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See, maybe this is true for white people as a group, but it's not true, for, say, white people from West Virginia--who, I would argue, could reasonably be called an ethnic group as much as Hispanics are.

Or:
12. I can go into a music shop and count on finding the music of my race represented, into a supermarket and find the staple foods which fit with my cultural traditions, into a hairdresser's shop and find someone who can cut my hair.
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This only applies if you're a white person who's also a WASP. I don't think anyone would disagree that Udmurts (an ethnic group of Russian) are white people, but if they moved to the US, there would definitely not be any of their music or food. And she starts off this essay specifically talking about African Americans, and I cannot imagine there is any music shop anywhere in the US that doesn't have music by black people.

Or like,
47. I can travel alone or with my spouse without expecting embarrassment or hostility in those who deal with us. 48. I have no difficulty finding neighborhoods where people approve of our household. 49. My children are given texts and classes which implicitly support our kind of family unit and do not turn them against my choice of domestic partnership.
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Have you ever heard of homosexuals? Also, I feel like 49. is implying black people don't have traditional stable nuclear families, which feels a little racist.

I could go down the whole list, and I would say there's maybe 10 things that are institutional racism, and 10 things that are more...accidental, or just due to the fact that most Americans are white, and the rest are garbage. (I will, if anyone wants).
 
Crunchy Leaf said:
This only applies if you're a white person who's also a WASP. I don't think anyone would disagree that Udmurts (an ethnic group of Russian) are white people, but if they moved to the US, there would definitely not be any of their music or food. And she starts off this essay specifically talking about African Americans, and I cannot imagine there is any music shop anywhere in the US that doesn't have music by black people.
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This circles back to money (the one thing she never claims is a "privilege"): Rap is mostly made by black artists and was very controversial in the 90s/00s, but mainstream stores stopped appeasing parents' groups and started carrying that stuff once they realized rich white kids would buy it too, not because rappers cleaned up their image or a bunch of white rappers became huge successes. "Appeal to the majority"/"appeal to people with disposable income" is just a no-brainer if you want to turn a profit.
 
twattycake said:
This circles back to money (the one thing she never claims is a "privilege"): Rap is mostly made by black artists and was very controversial in the 90s/00s, but mainstream stores stopped appeasing parents' groups and started carrying that stuff once they realized rich white kids would buy it too, not because rappers cleaned up their image or a bunch of white rappers became huge successes. "Appeal to the majority"/"appeal to people with disposable income" is just a no-brainer if you want to turn a profit.
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And I bet now that Korean pop music has become significantly more popular in the US, it's way easier to find Korean music in stores. I just went to the FYE website and they have pages upon pages of kpop CDs. Are there suddenly way more Koreans in the US than there used to be? Are we less racist against them? No. (I mean, I would argue that an ethnic group who has the government power to promote their culture is, in a sense, privileged compared to one that isn't but that's a lot more complicated than this stupid checklist.)
 
NoFeline said:
A desperate white guy will take literally anything. #nottoberacist
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I remember reading an article and the husban was treated like a racist threat and how it seemed like he should be honored that his wife lets him visit his parents. She thought they were racist and refused to visit them.

This also seems to be the way if the woke black person is dating someone of a different race and woe is if the relatives don't think like her. If I remember correctly there was one that was a lesbian with a Hispanic girlfriend and the family was viewed as racists.
 
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