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Schmeckel said:
I was watching the ree-mergency cartoon and something struck me. He could get a job at the hospital where his daughter was taken after the panic attack. When he waddled down the hall and asked if anyone knew anything and they said, "We don't know anything, and nobody here does.", I realized that he would fit right in. He never knows anything about anything.
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You are correct, though it still wouldn't work. Why not? Have you noticed that Phil is only admittedly clueless when it gets him out of accepting blame? You put him behind a desk at a hospital and he'll act like he knows what's up, at least until his boss asks him why so many people are winding up in the wrong room.
 
TheGoutburglar said:
You are correct, though it still wouldn't work. Why not? Have you noticed that Phil is only admittedly clueless when it gets him out of accepting blame? You put him behind a desk at a hospital and he'll act like he knows what's up, at least until his boss asks him why so many people are winding up in the wrong room.
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You've never seen any of his shtreems, then. Someone asks him a question about politics. "I don't know anything about that. Tss-sss-sss-sss. Thanks for the tip." Someone asks him his favorite brand of shoes. "I don't know anything about shoes. Nuh-huh-huh. Thanks for the cheer." Someone asks him what he thinks about superheroes. "I don't know anything about superheroes. But thank you for the tip."

He never knows anything about ANYTHING. Literally. It's only when he thinks he knows something about something will he attempt to disseminate that information to his wheelchairs. But when pressed for his opinion or thoughts on anything, he is fuckin' Tabula Rasa.
 
TheGoutburglar said:
But as you say, that's during a stream. You think he didn't act like a know-it-all at the helicopter plant job? That's probably what got him fired: running his mouth and having nothing to back it up.
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We can speculate as to just what got him fired all damn day. Company downsizing? Ineptitude? Took a shit in the urinal? Who the fuck knows.

Unless you have some sort of first-hand account of how he acts not on shtreem, all we can do is speculate. However, based on any and all observable behavior, it's reasonable to say he talks a mean game but can't back shit up when it comes down to it. (challenged to a fight at evo? Let's do crotch-chops instead!) I can't envision a scenario where he'd be trying to troubleshoot/place an order for parts while performing his duties that he'd play master of the universe and talk down to some client. He's too fucking timid when confronted with actual people, just listen to him on his 341 call. No snorts, no grunts burps or farts, no phlegm, the timbre of his voice is even and meek... Phil is a bitch.

No, I don't think he acted at his jahb the way he acts on shtreem. He's rank-and-file, do what he can to get by while on the clock, but as soon as he clocks out.... "DOOD, I totally told this bitch to get her own helicopter blades!"
 
He wasn't so timid about telling bullshit stories to those kids about getting fucked up at parties. That's kind of thing I picture him doing at work. And yeah, of course it's speculation, based on what we see, and we don't all see the same thing, clearly.

And he got off easy in that spat with Viscant. Phil could never in a million years get over the humiliation of either being beaten up or forced to publicly apologize and admit to being in the wrong. That's what I would've given him the choice between.
 
Based on how he acted with Machinima, YouTube customer support, and most recently Twitch support, I made my own speculation on what could have happened with Phil and Skiorsky.

Taking Phil at his word (I know), he said he was customer support. Towards the end of his career they also gave him "extra work" that he did on his free time at home but he was getting paid the same. Phil has told his audience how Skiorsky used him. He wasn't getting proper compensation for his work.

Which is more likely knowing Phil's personality? He quietly did the extra work for the same money, or he went to his supervisor and threw a fit demanding recompense?

When layoffs came around, who would Skiorsky keep? The person who just does there job, or the guy who bitches constantly that if he doesn't get a raise soon he'll leave?

I don't have first hand information on what happened. I do know that Phil worked in the customer service department. The part of Skiorsky that shut down was the parts manufacturing factory. The customer service department is still operational and in the same building. Phil's job was not eliminated. If he was a valuable employee, he would not have been let go. Something else happened.
 
With Phil's twelve legacy being what it is, I assume every single job he ever lost was due to him being stupid, an asshole, or both. Especially since he can't even bring himself to admit to the truth of how long he was unemployed before his dad got him the helicopter plant job, as if THAT would sink him, as opposed to a lot of the things he's already known for.

I'll bet Leanna knows what happened. This is exactly the kind of thing I would expect Phil to be terrified of being revealed. His priorities have clearly always been fucked.
 
TheGoutburglar said:
With Phil's twelve legacy being what it is, I assume every single job he ever lost was due to him being stupid, an asshole, or both. Especially since he can't even bring himself to admit to the truth of how long he was unemployed before his dad got him the helicopter plant job, as if THAT would sink him, as opposed to a lot of the things he's already known for.

I'll bet Leanna knows what happened. This is exactly the kind of thing I would expect Phil to be terrified of being revealed. His priorities have clearly always been fucked.
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I don't think he told Leanna anything different than what he told everyone else.

Phil says: Skiorsky was run by idiots. Everyone lost their job. The place went out of business.

In reality: Skiorsky shut down it's manufacturing plant in Connecticut and opened a new one in Florida which saved them money. I assume they offered their workers the ability to transfer if they wanted to move to Florida. They sold their name to Lockheed-Martain in a merger. The customer service aspect is still there. Skiorsky never went out of business.
 
Schmeckel said:
You've never seen any of his shtreems, then. Someone asks him a question about politics. "I don't know anything about that. Tss-sss-sss-sss. Thanks for the tip." Someone asks him his favorite brand of shoes. "I don't know anything about shoes. Nuh-huh-huh. Thanks for the cheer." Someone asks him what he thinks about superheroes. "I don't know anything about superheroes. But thank you for the tip."

He never knows anything about ANYTHING. Literally. It's only when he thinks he knows something about something will he attempt to disseminate that information to his wheelchairs. But when pressed for his opinion or thoughts on anything, he is fuckin' Tabula Rasa.
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Huh? He waffles on about shit in a retarded uninformed fashion quite often actually. For example, his rants about defunding the police without even knowing what that entails. Or his dumb ass opinions about COVID-19 since it was even a topic in America.
 
Cistern Rumbler said:
Huh? He waffles on about shit in a retarded uninformed fashion quite often actually. For example, his rants about defunding the police without even knowing what that entails. Or his dumb ass opinions about COVID-19 since it was even a topic in America.
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He does that often, too. But there are many more instances of him saying "I don't know anything about that" when asked simple shit.

When there's a hot-button issue (wu-flu, defund police, whatever the news du jour is....) he'll launch into an uninformed mess. Other than that, he never knows anything.
 
TheGoutburglar said:
With Phil's twelve legacy being what it is, I assume every single job he ever lost was due to him being stupid, an asshole, or both. Especially since he can't even bring himself to admit to the truth of how long he was unemployed before his dad got him the helicopter plant job, as if THAT would sink him, as opposed to a lot of the things he's already known for.

I'll bet Leanna knows what happened. This is exactly the kind of thing I would expect Phil to be terrified of being revealed. His priorities have clearly always been fucked.
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The problem here is that you're ascribing far more effort to potential acts than Phil has proven capable of. He makes a big ol' bluster to Machinima (which likely amounted to "hey, guys? What is going on with ad revenue? Little guys like me gotta know!"), and can't back it up on shtreem ever. You cite the video of him talking about hooking up with some chick and said chick's boyfriend showing up with a Bowie knife as some sort of point of reference? That's the exact same sort of story Phil bleeds out to his wheelchairs. He says a big hullabaloo.... But when corroborating stories come forward, he looks like a total bitch.

Phil would have to put effort into being THAT kind of asshole at any kind of job, (even the salad tossing gig he had at the mall) in order to be ousted. Again: Listen to 341. He's meek, timid, mild.... The only rise you get out of him is with mention of WWE-whatever...

"You get unadulterated Phil...." With his shtreems, you get to see how he is when he's king shit of turd mountain. Put him in a public place, and he's a kernel of shit in the grand pile.
 
I obviously know that. I'm just saying that clearly there was a point in time where he didn't think before running his mouth, and it's not hard to picture it happening at a 9-5. Yes, on stream he's unadulterated Phil, and in real life he runs from even his fans, but that's recently. He DID used to hang out in large crowds in his FGC days, after all. He didn't talk shit face-to-face, only online, but he still had to have said something stupid every so often, out of sheer obliviousness. You can be a coward who doesn't know that what's about to come out of your mouth is retarded. In fact that sounds exactly like Phil to me. I CAN picture Phil getting let go for constantly filling out paperwork wrong or something similar, but if you expect me to believe that he has always been aware of the fact that to avoid making an ass of himself, he must be quiet at all times, I cannot do that. He challenged Viscant to a RL fight, that's not something someone aware of their own cowardice and stupidity does.
 
TheGoutburglar said:
I obviously know that. I'm just saying that clearly there was a point in time where he didn't think before running his mouth, and it's not hard to picture it happening at a 9-5. Yes, on stream he's unadulterated Phil, and in real life he runs from even his fans, but that's recently. He DID used to hang out in large crowds in his FGC days, after all. He didn't talk shit face-to-face, only online, but he still had to have said something stupid every so often, out of sheer obliviousness. You can be a coward who doesn't know that what's about to come out of your mouth is retarded. In fact that sounds exactly like Phil to me. I CAN picture Phil getting let go for constantly filling out paperwork wrong or something similar, but if you expect me to believe that he has always been aware of the fact that to avoid making an ass of himself, he must be quiet at all times, I cannot do that. He challenged Viscant to a RL fight, that's not something someone aware of their own cowardice and stupidity does.
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God, you're stupid sometimes.
 
TheGoutburglar said:
if you expect me to believe that he has always been aware of the fact that to avoid making an ass of himself, he must be quiet at all times, I cannot do that. He challenged Viscant to a RL fight, that's not something someone aware of their own cowardice and stupidity does.
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I wouldn't say he's timid IRL due to a level of self-awareness so he doesn't make an ass out of himself, he's timid because he's a gigantic pussy and avoids any and all confrontation, unless it's online and he can block/ignore/mute them.

About the whole Viscant thing, this is what the guy himself said on Reddit about it (you'll see that it just reinforces the image of the pig as an oblivious coward and online-only shit-talker):

From here it turns into what sounds like a total farce except I can assure you that it was 100% serious which makes us both look like total, complete fucking idiots.

So first Phil was like "OK well you have to sign some document because if I kill you I don't want to be responsible" and I was like whatever. Then there was an actual serious negotiation over who the ref was going to be and I THINK we settled on Walter from CT but I don't remember this part either. Then there was an honest to god negotiation over weight and that we were going to have to weigh in and everything. Again, I'm not making any of this up, as dumb as this sounds, this absolutely happened. Finally it was agreed that he wouldn't have to go on a diet to fight me and it was settled that we were going to fight, it was going to have MMA rules, it would have a referee and we'd sign waivers. God I was dumb in the mid-00s.

Anyways, so we agreed upon this early in the year and from here on is where the story gets weird (lol "gets" weird). So apparently Phil was under the impression that this wasn't going to happen and that it was just internet shit talk but a few people from the west coast went out to one of the east coast tournaments and told him that

a) I was taking this seriously and was going to fight him

b) Had probably been in more gym fights in the past 2 months than he'd been in in his life.

So one day Phil IMs me on AIM and tries to back out. He was like "hey so how about this. How about we PRETEND like we're going to fight and then when a whole crowd is around us we both do DX crotch chops to the crowd!!! It'll be such a goof!" This really happened.

And I'm just like "...are you fucking kidding me?" I honestly couldn't believe he was pulling this and I was still mad about the whole thing and actually wanted to fight him.

I told him wasn't going to do any of that "trolling" but if you want to drop it, then fine I'll drop it, we can be adults about this. And that's pretty much what happened, I'm not going to jump him from behind in the parking lot or get in his face and threaten him.

From that point on there never really was any problem between him and I. In fact the next year when Evo West was in San Diego I let him stay at my place that year and when Mike Watson and Jaha were about to kill him in a parking garage I stepped between them and defused that situation. He later WOULD go on to have more serious problems with Watson and Jaha but I made sure it wasn't going to happen when he was staying with me. I generally don't hold grudges so even though I remember being really pissed off at the time, by the time the parking garage thing happened a year later I was over it.

So yeah, it's a really dumb story and makes me look just as bad as him (well I never proposed doing fucking DX crotch chops in front of a crowd of people but I was dumb too) but that's what happened.

Link: http://www.reddit.com/r/Kappa/comments/4roajf/can_viscant_tell_us_the_story_of_dsp_challenging/
 
You people keep thinking I mean "shit-talking". No, I mean just talking and saying something stupid, not necessarily antagonistic. Mind you, I doubt that he would get vulgar at work like we're used to seeing him be in old videos, but as oblivious as he is, he was still bound to say something he shouldn't.

And I'm not absolutely adamant that that's how he lost any of his jobs. It could have been a million things, this is Phil we're talking about. I just don't think he was THAT uncomfortable talking to co-workers back in those days. But enough about all this shit.

My favorite part of that story is him not wanting to go on a diet to fight Viscant, even though in his mind he wasn't going to have to anyway. It's like he actually desires to be fat.
 
I need some quick help. Whats the more recent video from Snort Burnell that featured that "High-Pitched Screaming Pig in a room" edit within the last week or so? I'm trying to compile all of the "Real Pig" edits... For reasons. I cant find the screaming pig for the life of me.
 
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