Ethan Ralph's Biggest Mistake

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Ralph has some things in common with Jorge from 90 Day Fiance, mainly both being fat losers who ended up in jail and lost weight. For those who don't follow the show/clips, Jorge is younger than Ralph and was gaining on Ralph's gunt in size. Before going to jail (for marijuana dealing), he had a wife who blatantly disrespected him in public and they were often featured on the show to showcase how much of a simp Jorge was.

Fast forward to jail. Ralph had a support network of at least Nora and Ade. Jorge's wife cheated on him and initiated a divorce while he was in the clink. Both lost weight.

After getting out of jail, Jorge's largely kept off social media except for an occasional Instagram post. He's kept the weight off, has a hot girlfriend, and is expecting a kid. He doesn't even check in with 90 Day Fiance, the show that gave him his following, because the show is a circus of retards.

The first thing Ralph does out of jail is get back online. He's now fatter than he was pre-jail, spurned Nora because of Killstream antics like "smash-or-pass" and the repercussions she could face in her career being tied to the Healstream. I won't even list the shit he's done since because we all know that story.

Everything Ralph had going for him before and during jail is gone. His "career" is tied to his internet presence which is already on the cliff of the internet and will be pushed off in the next four years.

For Jorge, jail was his low point and turned into the beginning of the rest of his life. Ralph had the same thing going for him, but his actions since getting out have effectively turned Ralph's time in jail to a timeout.
 
It is almost impossible to pick Ralph's worst mistake, because there have been so fucking many of them and some mistakes clearly resulted in even bigger mistakes down the road.

So do you try and pick the mistake that may have set in motion an avalanche of shit, or the avalanche itself?

But regardless, I don't see how anyone could think that if Ralph had only just avoided one thing, his life would have been so much better, at least up to now.

Going forward, clearly getting Faith pregnant will be the biggest single mistake that one can clearly point to.
 
Trig.Point said:
It would take 5 fucking minutes before a show, to talk to Rand and check if he's been drinking. The Gunt is either too fucking lazy or too drunk himself to do it.
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The problem is that the Gunt's a Cunt and wants Rand to be a shit host because:
-It makes Ralph feel better about his own shitty hosting
-It allows him to try and push any stream related fucks ups on to Rand because he's drunk
-Gunt wants him to be drunk so he can try and make him say or do retarded or shitty things for leverage
 
Chief Ungo Bungo said:
The problem is that the Gunt's a Cunt and wants Rand to be a shit host because:
-It makes Ralph feel better about his own shitty hosting
-It allows him to try and push any stream related fucks ups on to Rand because he's drunk
-Gunt wants him to be drunk so he can try and make him say or do retarded or shitty things for leverage
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The beauty of it is that all of these things are true, and because of this only shows how fucking dumb Ralph is. Rand is a tactical nuke to any show he goes on. If somehow by some weird miracle Randbot got on Steven Colbert or something he'd manage to get his show canceled and have Colbert hanged by the lefties that love him, simply by being a smug aussie who loves the n-word. Good old Ralph keeps him around though.
 
Mr. Manchester said:
The beauty of it is that all of these things are true, and because of this only shows how fucking dumb Ralph is. Rand is a tactical nuke to any show he goes on. If somehow by some weird miracle Randbot got on Steven Colbert or something he'd manage to get his show canceled and have Colbert hanged by the lefties that love him, simply by being a smug aussie who loves the n-word. Good old Ralph keeps him around though.
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I honestly think you can get away unscathed with Rand as a guest, because you can always play it like a freakshow and pull the "well, he's never coming back" card out of the deck if people aren't buying the freakshow angle. Putting him on staff is where Rand fuck things up for people who aren't him
 
Ol' Slag said:
Not going to rehab.

Honestly, Ralph could still turn the plane around and not collide into the mountain right in front of him.

It would save his show, save him money and probably add years to his life.
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Is there hope it can still be court ordered?
Is that how these kinda things work? Or is that just a 90s sitcom thing I think is real?
 
Andy Bandy Man said:
Is there hope it can still be court ordered?
Is that how these kinda things work? Or is that just a 90s sitcom thing I think is real?
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It would be another time out. It's success would depend on whether he takes it seriously. You go through outpatient rehab for DUI's. It can be taken seriously and, at the worst, at least facilitate a break. Or you can cheat your way through it like a true Ralphamale MEMPHIS TEEEEENNNNN. Either way we both know how the Gunt handled THAT when he got busted years ago.
 
instythot said:
I honestly think you can get away unscathed with Rand as a guest, because you can always play it like a freakshow and pull the "well, he's never coming back" card out of the deck if people aren't buying the freakshow angle. Putting him on staff is where Rand fuck things up for people who aren't him
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It was fun as a guest because he wouldn't be on very long. Having hin kicked was the bright side of any stream he was on. But his spastics could be funny for a bit and at least he's high energy.
 
Andy Bandy Man said:
Is there hope it can still be court ordered?
Is that how these kinda things work? Or is that just a 90s sitcom thing I think is real?
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It is easy to cheat. Years ago at a job site I worked we had a guy go around and ask us to sign his slip stating we were in the AA meeting with him.

The usually don't test you for booze randomly unless you fuck up royally. The worst they do if it's your first or second offense is put a breathalyzer in your car (which you have to rent and pay a monthly rental fee), and can order counseling. They can't make you go to rehab.

They also do offer the option in some cases if you are trying to avoid jail time. Your lawyer tells the judge so and so is going into rehab, the judge might not be so harsh if you prove you actually are going.

EDIT: I knew people who were on thier sixth dui, in jail and still fighting to keep their license. All that matters is if you have a good enough lawyer.
 
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It could be:

-Dropping out of school which left him without many necessary social skills to get through life. This contributed to >
-Not working a day in his life which leads into >
-Deciding he would be an online personality >
-Deciding to court the alt-right for monetary gain >
-Deciding to make his show 100% about politics and cut out "drama" >
-Not responding to the WSJ reporter like JF did to save his own ass because he thought he was too big to fail on YT >
-Doing a "charity" stream to stick it to Sargon and prove he had a bigger audience (lol) all while knowing the WSJ was watching >
-Taking over a small platform/being a big shot on stream.me getting people banned and doxed +
-Attending Knoxville exposing how weak he really is to the world >
-Not being able to accept defeat and stop antagonizing anonymous message boards on the internet

You could keep going but in reality I think his biggest mistake is either:

Not taking advantage of his second chance at life after jail. He had a wife that pushed him to be better, was in relatively good shape and was clean. He could have used it as a wake up call but instead he went right back and continued where he left off before jail.

Or:

Thinking he could use Andy Warski to siphon off his 300k subscriber audience and exposure from his successful (at the time) show.
His relationship to Warski has brought him nothing but bad things, unwanted attention from the MSM, Knoxville, Miami, the last time Nora visited was (I think) when Warski lived there and they got into a huge fight because drunk Ralph thought Warski was stealing Nora from him.
I know Ralph has made many big mistakes, but 'befriending' Andy just to benefit from his audience is up there. These two idiots have been complete and absolute poison in each other's lives but they keep coming back always for the same reason, to build back their audience after a spectacular failure.
 
Treating Dax as a role model

Kinda surprised I haven't heard this yet but I guess there's not as many former Dickheads as autistic as me but so much of his choices are based on advice Dax has given on the Dick Show and elsewhere

  • In general just prioritizing getting laid and making money in your life. Dax said to an autist who called in that his dad taught him only to value money, joking(?) that if your question wasn't about money he wouldn't understand it. Also of course he spends a big chunk of his time trying to get laid, even now that he's in his 40s. It's only when pressed that he even teases the idea of marrying and having kids with his longtime girlfriend.
  • Dax absolutely does not believe in rehab. When the maddox drama started and people speculated it was about him going to rehab and he proudly said he would never go to rehab.
  • being 100% okay with alcoholism. We probably remember on that one PPP stream he justified giving Ralph alcohol simply by saying "he's an alcoholic that's what they need" and not accepting it as enabling behavior. That's just one example as being an alcoholic is something he either takes totally in stride or is downright proud of.
  • I may be wrong on this one because I'm not 100% caught up on guntlore but going on camera was appearntly Dax's idea. I'm not joking when I say the killstream would have more viewers if they still had the old display and we didn't have to see ralph's gunt textured face on screen.
  • EDIT- pure speculation but given the shit that went on with Jamie Lynn Hughes I wouldn't be surprised if "push for a threesome" was another brilliant idea from Dax.
and that's just the shit I can remember off the top of my head. pre dax he could have fixed himself but his favorite e celeb is giving him the worst advice he could get.
 
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Insanely Retarded said:
It could be:

-Dropping out of school which left him without many necessary social skills to get through life. This contributed to >
-Not working a day in his life which leads into >
-Deciding he would be an online personality >
-Deciding to court the alt-right for monetary gain >
-Deciding to make his show 100% about politics and cut out "drama" >
-Not responding to the WSJ reporter like JF did to save his own ass because he thought he was too big to fail on YT >
-Doing a "charity" stream to stick it to Sargon and prove he had a bigger audience (lol) all while knowing the WSJ was watching >
-Taking over a small platform/being a big shot on stream.me getting people banned and doxed +
-Attending Knoxville exposing how weak he really is to the world >
-Not being able to accept defeat and stop antagonizing anonymous message boards on the internet

You could keep going but in reality I think his biggest mistake is either:

Not taking advantage of his second chance at life after jail. He had a wife that pushed him to be better, was in relatively good shape and was clean. He could have used it as a wake up call but instead he went right back and continued where he left off before jail.

Or:

Thinking he could use Andy Warski to siphon off his 300k subscriber audience and exposure from his successful (at the time) show.
His relationship to Warski has brought him nothing but bad things, unwanted attention from the MSM, Knoxville, Miami, the last time Nora visited was (I think) when Warski lived there and they got into a huge fight because drunk Ralph thought Warski was stealing Nora from him.
I know Ralph has made many big mistakes, but 'befriending' Andy just to benefit from his audience is up there. These two idiots have been complete and absolute poison in each other's lives but they keep coming back always for the same reason, to build back their audience after a spectacular failure.
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Further to "charity" stream and courting the alt right, I'm a bit surprised nobody has mentioned striking up an e-friendship with Mark Collett
 
Nobody's stating the obvious

His biggest mistake was NEVER GETTING A JOB. Look, Ralph is a retarded redneck and as a retarded redneck myself the best thing anyone can do is to get a job where you're working with other human beings. That daily interaction with others really helps to reinforce on how we act with other people. Alot of the time that first job teaches someone how to be professional and how to get along working coworkers and what is expected of us as functioning adults. Even a bottom of the barrel job like working retail is so important for young adults to develop the skills need to conduct themselves in a civil matter.
 
The Jokester said:
Nobody's stating the obvious

His biggest mistake was NEVER GETTING A JOB. Look, Ralph is a retarded redneck and as a retarded redneck myself the best thing anyone can do is to get a job where you're working with other human beings. That daily interaction with others really helps to reinforce on how we act with other people. Alot of the time that first job teaches someone how to be professional and how to get along working coworkers and what is expected of us as functioning adults. Even a bottom of the barrel job like working retail is so important for young adults to develop the skills need to conduct themselves in a civil matter.
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You know what yes. this is the correct answer. It's hard to say without sounding like a boomer but at some point you have to have some responsibility. Ralph larps as an alpha but alpha's can make their own fucking money.

Even other people in this sphere had real jobs before. Think what you will about them but two big ones were actually people pre internet; Rackets survived bank work and a (frankly shitty) law practice. For all his faults Dax legitimately has a successful company and was a working engineer before that. If anything that's what can enable Dax's terrible decisions. He had already been successful before the Dick Show so he could get away with his alcoholism and degeneracy. They have an out if this all collapses.

Ralph? When he literally cannot live off the Killstream anymore he has to his name a dead website and a trailer home whenever the mother he neglected dies.

Oh and a kid and baby mama who can ask the court for some fucking money pretty easily.

Man if I had this looking down me like the barrel of a gun I'd drink all day too.
 
Steve Blackman said:
You know what yes. this is the correct answer. It's hard to say without sounding like a boomer but at some point you have to have some responsibility. Ralph larps as an alpha but alpha's can make their own fucking money.

Even other people in this sphere had real jobs before. Think what you will about them but two big ones were actually people pre internet; Rackets survived bank work and a (frankly shitty) law practice. For all his faults Dax legitimately has a successful company and was a working engineer before that. If anything that's what can enable Dax's terrible decisions. He had already been successful before the Dick Show so he could get away with his alcoholism and degeneracy. They have an out if this all collapses.

Ralph? When he literally cannot live off the Killstream anymore he has to his name a dead website and a trailer home whenever the mother he neglected dies.

Oh and a kid and baby mama who can ask the court for some fucking money pretty easily.

Man if I had this looking down me like the barrel of a gun I'd drink all day too.
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I just say this because I've noticed that ALOT of lolcows don't have jobs. Sure plenty of lolcows have had jobs before. Hell even the OG Chris Chan had a small time job at Wendy's. But lolcows have this underlining trait of not being in employment. Cows from Jim Sterling, Jahans, Amberlynn, Chantel, Shawty, ACD, Nick Bates, Anisa, Momo, Mumkey, and so on make their money from the internet and do not see people in a professional context on a daily basis. We have people who should/could of been lolcows like PPP who do work and manage themselves as functioning adults in the real world. Ralph is a massive example of the long list of examples from the first. I think after a time, that lack of professionalism and interaction with people who are not kissing your ass really drives a cow's narcissism and inability of basic understanding of what's not acceptable

My theory is the longer a cow is out of a physical job, the worse they become
 
The Jokester said:
I just say this because I've noticed that ALOT of lolcows don't have jobs. Sure plenty of lolcows have had jobs before. Hell even the OG Chris Chan had a small time job at Wendy's. But lolcows have this underlining trait of not being in employment. Cows from Jim Sterling, Jahans, Amberlynn, Chantel, Shawty, ACD, Nick Bates, Anisa, Momo, Mumkey, and so on make their money from the internet and do not see people in a professional context on a daily basis. We have people who should/could of been lolcows like PPP who do work and manage themselves as functioning adults in the real world. Ralph is a massive example of the long list of examples from the first. I think after a time, that lack of professionalism and interaction with people who are not kissing your ass really drives a cow's narcissism and inability of basic understanding of what's not acceptable

My theory is the longer a cow is out of a physical job, the worse they become
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The other side of the theory is that a job simply eats up time that lolcows could be doing weird shit for us to laugh at, and they remain just as weird with their remaining hours - they just become less prolific and we're most familiar with the unemployed ones because they have unlimited time to be lunatics online
 
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