E3 2016 - Where all your hopes and dreams explode and die

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Your Thoughts on E3?

  • E3 is where all my gaming hopes come true

    Votes: 16 17.6%

  • E3 continues to disappoint me

    Votes: 32 35.2%

  • E3 is fake, gay, and unrealistic

    Votes: 32 35.2%

  • Shut up asshole. New Zelda game!

    Votes: 19 20.9%

  • E3 got me teenage pregnant and will not return my phone calls.

    Votes: 34 37.4%

  • I just watch for the inevitable Gamergate/SJW shitshow

    Votes: 34 37.4%
  • Total voters
    91
I'll laugh at any Xbox One consumer who is upset that a Microsoft-Branded OS also gets their Microsoft-Available games. It makes sense from a flexibility standpoint.
 
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Who buys consoles to upgrade mid-generation again?

I mean seriously. Terrible idea.
 
Gwent game and Berserk Musou have been the highlights so far. Dud year so far, honestly.
 
Forza 3 on PC muthafuckas! Manly fuckin' racer tears! Also DAT Mass Effect: Andromeda. Now I'm gonna go wait lube in hand for inevitable Zelda footage.
 
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(In case anybody's unaware, CEO Kaz Hirai is a joke Twitter account)
 
It's about 1 minute into the Ubi conference and I already want to kill myself.
This is amazing.
Aisha Tyler just talked about Orlando right after the goofiest fucking dance presentation I have ever seen. Holy shit this is unbelievable. This so far is blowing away all the other Ubi shows.
 
Man that was actually just a really boring conference instead of a funny one. It felt like Aisha toned down her cringe sadly and the only really awkward moments I can remember are the fucking outrageous dance in the beginning and the For Honor guy talking about his game.

Anchuent Christory said:
If I had to sum up that Watchdogs 2 demo with a single image.

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Yeah it really felt like they were trying to appeal to the idea of average young rebellious kids. It was a pretty boring looking game. That last trailer for Watchdogs 2 was pretty cool though with the main character going in and out of shots from different places and doing different shit. Fancy shit.
 
Fractured But Whole looks like Game of The Century. Better gameplay and PC Principal is back, I'm sold.

Watch_Dogs 2 on the other hand... Jesus Christ. It's like a bunch of liberals straight out of college got together and made a game.
 
GeorgeDaMoose said:
Man that was actually just a really boring conference instead of a funny one. It felt like Aisha toned down her cringe sadly and the only really awkward moments I can remember are the fucking outrageous dance in the beginning and the For Honor guy talking about his game..
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If it wasn't for UBIsoft's output over the last few years, I would have thought Ghost Recon: Wildlands looked pretty cool.

For a while now, pretty much all of UBIsoft's big titles have been cool on paper, just completely soulless in execution.
 
Sony is doing there shit at 9PM EST. My bet there's going to be TONS of VR crap going on!
 
The guy at Youtube Live from Nintendo confirmed they do have announcements for E3.

I'm kind of surprised, but still wary.
 
GeorgeDaMoose said:
Man that was actually just a really boring conference instead of a funny one. It felt like Aisha toned down her cringe sadly and the only really awkward moments I can remember are the fucking outrageous dance in the beginning and the For Honor guy talking about his game.


Yeah it really felt like they were trying to appeal to the idea of average young rebellious kids. It was a pretty boring looking game. That last trailer for Watchdogs 2 was pretty cool though with the main character going in and out of shots from different places and doing different shit. Fancy shit.
Click to expand...
I dunno, I found it pretty cringy myself. But that fucking dance number. If that was supposed to mourn the loss of the people in that massacre, then it failed big time.
 
Alright, I had a really shitty day at work and missed part of the Ubisoft conference and during the PC conference I was literally crawling through a wiring setup that hadn't seen the light of day since 1992 so I missed that entirely. But I did take time out to watch the Microsoft presentation and parts of the Ubisoft shittery...

Microsoft:
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(Note- I'm not that super excited about Scorpio (yet) but I couldn't pass up a chance to make a bizarre reference to Clutch.)
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I marked the Dead Rising 4 in yellow because I'm always game for a new Dead Rising title, esp. one with Frank West. And the KI one in yellow because they did show some KI stuff but there were some people losing their shit in the audience. Plants? Probably, but KI is still a pretty damn fun game.

Blank's final score: 7/10 - I would have maybe given them an 8 or 8.5, but the Minecraft presentation... eeeech. Double eeeech for John Carmack's erm... "presentation."

Ubisoft:
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You may notice the "bullshot" block was especially blocked out. This is because I bought Watch_Dogs. And Assassin's Creed... all of them. And The Division... and... and I am in a very abusive relationship with Ubisoft. They keep coming back and saying they've changed, and I believe them... then it's the same thing. THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER. Well I don't trust you anymore Ubisoft! I'm taking my things... an I'm moving in with your brother Bethesda! You don't fool me with your Watch Dogs 2 and you For Honor and... and... I just can't do it anymore, Ubisoft! You've broken my heart to many times!

Blank's Final Score: 4/10. And that's because I'm being nice! Take your tacky dance numbers and your awkward presenters and.... is that... did you make a sequel to Blood Dragon...? Omigosh you... wait... TRIALS?! FUCK YOU UBISOFT! FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!!!!
 
Fucking god EA

There's two things I want from them now.
To mass castrate themselves, and for them to make a new Command and Conquer game.
I'll probably get one of them. Guess which it is.
 
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