DSP's Hair Mega-Hyper-Ultra Thread - Patchy goatee talk included

[Sparkletor 2.0]

Wait, what? Why the hell did he move all the way across the country into a condo where he has neighbors that close where he can't make too much noise at night like a shitty apartment complex?

There are probably reasonable condo association rules about blasting music all night. Phil just takes that and spins it for an excuse why he can't exercise. We've seen his fancy surround sound setup he has downstairs. Are we to believe he watches movies and wrestling all night very quietly and doesn't yell at the television?

Phil has an excuse for everything. Patchy beard? White hairs that the camera can't see. Bald trench? Mom combed it that way 30 years ago. Office is messy and could be reorganized? Can't straighten out the cables or they would lag and if he moved the couch the AC would freeze his laptop. Etc.

 

[LiquidCancer]

 

[bearsintrees]

https://ytcropper.com/embed/TS5d08762a9a6f9/loop/noautoplay/

Apparently his mom combing his hair is no longer at fault, the reason for the hair loss along Phil's part is something he's calling HEADPHONE HAIR.

Which is obviously just headphones smushing down the hair under the band like say, hat hair, not your headphones making you go bald, and it would all repair itself if he stopped streaming.

 

[Haunter]

https://ytcropper.com/embed/TS5d08762a9a6f9/loop/noautoplay/

Apparently his mom combing his hair is no longer at fault, the reason for the hair loss along Phil's part is something he's calling HEADPHONE HAIR.

Which is obviously just headphones smushing down the hair under the band like say, hat hair, not your headphones making you go bald, and it would all repair itself if he stopped streaming.

He has used this excuse of his headphones before. I have a couple instances in the OP. I think this is the first time he's blamed it specifically on the "crack" of missing hair (this is actually the first time I've heard him address the "crack").

During his March Marathon, he left to comb his hair in order to demonstrate that any apparent baldness was caused by the headphones. Now, also a first time, this baldness can't be corrected with a comb. It's "Headphone Hair" that perhaps will disappear only if he were to stop using them.

 

[Nurse Ratchet]

Wait, what? Why the hell did he move all the way across the country into a condo where he has neighbors that close where he can't make too much noise at night like a shitty apartment complex?

Because DSPatternBaldness is a slow-witted cuntrag.

 

[Wurstbrot]

That's a cool story, Phil.
Just debunked by 3 seconds of Google.

Source 1
Source 2
Or any of the hundreds of other sources.

 

[Nurse Ratchet]

I thoroughly enjoy this thread.

 

[This comment matters]

I thoroughly enjoy this thread.

It will only get better too, as more and more of Phil's remaining follicles give up the fight.

 

[Schmeckel]

It will only get better too, as more and more of Phil's remaining follicles give up the fight.

Soon enough, Phil will start calling his follicles detractors.

 

[ReentryPhantom]

Start a movement to call his hair crack "The Grand Canyon". Now a tourist attraction is a detractor meme.

 

[LordofCringe7206]

I thoroughly enjoy this thread.

I love how DSP can't even be honest about something as simple as balding. There's absolutely nothing he'll be honest and truthful about.

 

[Immortal Technique]

 

[Preferred Penne]

Someone tell him that if he shaves his head he'll look like Stone Cold Steve Austin.

 

[Cataloons]

Someone tell him that if he shaves his head he'll look like Stone Cold Steve Austin.

$10 if he actually does it.

 

[Nurse Ratchet]

No matter what he does to that bulbous potato head of his, he's still & forever going to look like a dour playground dweller with a possible active outbreak of mouth herpes.

 

[This comment matters]

No matter what he does to that bulbous potato head of his, he's still & forever going to look like a dour playground dweller with a possible active outbreak of mouth herpes.

The Seattle air cured his herpes years ago. DEBUNKED!

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

The Seattle air cured his herpes years ago. DEBUNKED!

So it turns out that my aunt had herpes her whole life and never told anyone. Since herpes is a hereditary disorder, I got herpes from my dead aunt. Thanks aunt.

 

[NeckyTheThumb]

Right off the bat, that thought alone is utterly horrifying.
Two things however, if we are to trust Panda Lee she was a nympho in her early twenties and claimed they didn't have much sex because of Dave not wanting it.
Also, and this is more stupid imho. That dipshit yells at his screen when he streams, how is that not pissing off his neighbours?

He really downgrades from his amazing house to a condo when it suits his bullshit.

But also, back to DSPBalding. Took the ideas from @NeckyTheThumb and @ZehnBoat respectively.
View attachment 802985
View attachment 802987

Holy shit that is amazing. I didn't notice your post until now. Big ups

 

[Immortal Technique]

So it turns out that my aunt had herpes her whole life and never told anyone. Since herpes is a hereditary disorder, I got herpes from my dead aunt. Thanks aunt.

If you have HSV-2 herpes.......I got some questions for you.

 

[PieceofShet]

Slightly on

Why dsp said he got it from his aunt? Thats impossible. The closest one he can get it is his grandma? (aunts mother?)