Business Disney Store Dead at 34 - OH THE HUMANCHILDITY

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Disney Store Dead at 34
Alexi Rosenfeld
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Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, one day we will all return to the mysterious realm from which our consciousness was born. Once our time on this mortal coil has ended, all that’s left will be the memories held by those who loved us. Those people too will disappear, and we can only hope that they will have spoken our name enough that it never fully vanishes from the minds of the living. That, or we remain as stores-within-stores at specific Target locations.

In March, Disney announced that it would be closing its standalone Disney Store locations, deciding to focus on e-commerce instead. This week, nearly all of the remaining Disney Stores, long a safe haven for bored children forced to accompany their mothers to the mall, will close up shop.

The Disney Store, only 34 years old at the time of its passing, will be remembered as a loving presence in the lives of millions of young children who did not yet understand what “merchandise tie-ins” were. A magical place where you could get Auntie Anne’s cinnamon sugar dust all over a real-life Woody doll that your dad wouldn’t buy you, the Disney Store was where the movies became real.

Legends never die, and that is true for the Disney Store. Its memory will be preserved in Targets around the country, with more than 160 locations of “The Disney Store at Target” set to open before the holiday season. Adults who knew the Disney Store in its prime will be able to take their own children to these memorial sites and say, “This used to be a full store in the mall,” while their kids ignore them to make Elsa and Olaf kiss.

The Disney Store is survived by The Walt Disney Company, Disneyland, Walt Disney World, and the youngest member of the family, Disney+. In lieu of flowers, the family has requested that you stream the television show Hawkeye when it premieres later this year.
 
On a somewhat happy note, Craftsman is back to being made in America and has a lot what made it good stuff back. Not quite the "find a rusted screwdriver that's been sitting in a field for 30 years, trade it in for a new one", but definitely not the Chinese garbage-tier the had been for a while. It's OK quality for an ok price again, though.
Weren’t they bought out by Black and Decker? Is it MAC made now, like how their power tools are just rebranded DeWalts?
 
Weren’t they bought out by Black and Decker? Is it MAC made now, like how their power tools are just rebranded DeWalts?
Not quite rebranded, but yeah, B&D has the name now and production was supposedly moving to a new plant in Texas or something.

Did somebody take the time to make an article about the closing of a Disney store? Jesus Christ what a faggot.
When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
 
Overpriced clothes and jewelry. Lots and lots of overpriced clothes and jewelry.
That makes glad that all of those mall stores that sold extremely overpriced designer clothes like Pac Sun, Hot Topic, Aeropostale, American Eagle and The Gap are rapidly dying out.
Spencers. There is a symbiotic relationship between malls and Spencers. If the stoner sex toy gag shop still stands, so does the mall. And you will never find Spencers outside a mall. They exist to feed each other thirteen year-old souls.
Don't forget GNC and Bath and Body Works, every dead mall always has those two stores in them for some reason.
 
Good.

All mall outlets should meet a similar fate. Shopping centers are only good for meandering around when you're young and bored, otherwise small local retailers and online shopping are far superior.

Also, fuck Disney. The less I see of it the better.
 
I will say one nice thing about the Disney Store, if you were willing to pay a premium, you could buy a present and be pretty sure that the kid didn't already own one. But unless the kid is obsessed with X Disney character, I would rather buy something from any other brand.
 
I will say one nice thing about the Disney Store, if you were willing to pay a premium, you could buy a present and be pretty sure that the kid didn't already own one. But unless the kid is obsessed with X Disney character, I would rather buy something from any other brand.
If he was obsessed with Disney I'd buy him therapy.
 
I don't think there were a lot of these to begin with. I only ever saw one and it closed like 20 years ago anyway. You can just buy this junk online or at any store that sells Disney crap. I imagine it's mainly adult Disney spergs that went there. Kids just want cheap junk with Frozen printed on it anyway.
 
Spencers. There is a symbiotic relationship between malls and Spencers. If the stoner sex toy gag shop still stands, so does the mall. And you will never find Spencers outside a mall. They exist to feed each other thirteen year-old souls.
Spencer's, Claire's, and the well known symbiotic relationship as well with GNC and Bath & Body Works.
If only people acted this way when Sharper Image died (yes, it' wasn't an amazing store, but I had tons of fun as a kid seeing the crazy gadgets/toys in there), that Sun Coast movie store (might've been West-Coast only tbh), those "Excalibur" stores that sold suits of Medieval armor and display weapons. There were some gimmicky (but fun) stores back in the day...

Food courts/attached restaurants are still good.
Sharper Image and Brookstone, if only for the demo massage chairs. Those places were pretty much just there as a men's refuge but they always had cool stuff.

does anyone remember The Nature Store? Loved it when I was a kid.
Fuck yes, that place rocked. Didn't they get turned into the Discovery Store?
 
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