Business Disney Store Dead at 34 - OH THE HUMANCHILDITY

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Disney Store Dead at 34
Alexi Rosenfeld
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Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, one day we will all return to the mysterious realm from which our consciousness was born. Once our time on this mortal coil has ended, all that’s left will be the memories held by those who loved us. Those people too will disappear, and we can only hope that they will have spoken our name enough that it never fully vanishes from the minds of the living. That, or we remain as stores-within-stores at specific Target locations.

In March, Disney announced that it would be closing its standalone Disney Store locations, deciding to focus on e-commerce instead. This week, nearly all of the remaining Disney Stores, long a safe haven for bored children forced to accompany their mothers to the mall, will close up shop.

The Disney Store, only 34 years old at the time of its passing, will be remembered as a loving presence in the lives of millions of young children who did not yet understand what “merchandise tie-ins” were. A magical place where you could get Auntie Anne’s cinnamon sugar dust all over a real-life Woody doll that your dad wouldn’t buy you, the Disney Store was where the movies became real.

Legends never die, and that is true for the Disney Store. Its memory will be preserved in Targets around the country, with more than 160 locations of “The Disney Store at Target” set to open before the holiday season. Adults who knew the Disney Store in its prime will be able to take their own children to these memorial sites and say, “This used to be a full store in the mall,” while their kids ignore them to make Elsa and Olaf kiss.

The Disney Store is survived by The Walt Disney Company, Disneyland, Walt Disney World, and the youngest member of the family, Disney+. In lieu of flowers, the family has requested that you stream the television show Hawkeye when it premieres later this year.
 
Man what the fuck is even left in malls at this point?
Somehow the Mall of America (Biggest mall in American) is doing great despite everything. Even having 15 or so coffee shops and multiples of the same store its fine apparently. Though the owners did the same thing in New Jersey with American Dream and it was a fucking massive failure Even my local mall is doing well, usually if stores close they can fill it up with old folk housing or churches.
 
Disney makes over $1 billion a year just selling licenses to businesses that make stickers. They'll be alright.

That's why Microsoft figured Minecraft was worth $2.5 billion - not because the game is worth that, but because licensing its official bullshit to people who make backpacks and other shit for kids is a huge goddamn market.
 
I remembered buying a Prince of Persia LEGO set their in West Edmonton Mall once. It was set no. 7572 Quest Against Time.
It was... pretty neat.
 
At least people can find Disney stuffage at their local Targets, hell, there's even outlet stores where they sell stuff that didn't sell that good.
 
Man what the fuck is even left in malls at this point?
Spencers. There is a symbiotic relationship between malls and Spencers. If the stoner sex toy gag shop still stands, so does the mall. And you will never find Spencers outside a mall. They exist to feed each other thirteen year-old souls.
 
One thing that really surprises me about current year Disney is how they seem to be content having their brand being licensed out to companies that sell to lower end retailers like dollar stores. With brands worth billions I feel like seeing your stuff being sold at Dollar Tree and it's many competitors would be brand poison.

Back in the 90's growing up I could tell the difference between the brand name toys like Mattel, Hasbro, and Kenner vs the crap that was being hawked at the Dollar store and crap that ended up at Big Lots.
 
I'm a big pretty big Disney fan but never understood that kind of slavish fanaticism.
My ex BFF was one. I am now 100% convinced Disney is a fucking cult.
It seems like their merchandise became more and more cheaply made as time went on.
Overpriced clothes and jewelry. Lots and lots of overpriced clothes and jewelry.
Remember the boomerbait I mentioned earlier?
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Disney fans, especially WOMEN Disney fans, are borderline psychotic when it comes to anything Disney related. A few of my past exs were Disney fanatics. One of them was fucking bonkers about Stitch and went to Florida to work at Disney World while going to college. The other one wanted to get married at Disney World and be dressed up as Belle.
Remember
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