So a couple of days ago I visited France with coworkers and their toddler so, like uncultured swine, we went to Disneyland Paris.
Now the last time I was in a Disneyland was in the USA more than a decade and a half ago, so the comparisons are probably not too fair.
I'll start with the best thing, which was the Halloween decorations and the general atmosphere of the park. Great stuff. Now for the bad stuff, the big center castle was in construction and only the side of it had some sort of "cover" which was a painted on image, why not do it for every part covered? The park itself is also really small and I was able to do everything I wanted, a task that was slightly hard because all the rides were close until 12:00 because some electrical fault or some shit, and seemingly there was no money back for losing what is essentially half a day of rides.
There is apperantly a second park for older clientele but the first park is so small it's just pure greediness the two parks aren't joined together. The park is also pretty badly designed, you'd think you can go from any area to adjoining areas, but for some you need to go back to the center area, just why? Also there are barely any custom characters anywhere, with the few there are either full closed costume with a bouncer to keep people away, the only actors are on the parade floats. I get the Corona fear but the closed customs are essentially a hazard suit as they are, just fucking wash them afterwards. Also the phone reception was bad and I'm pretty sure it is to force people to use the wifi, which hilariously makes it look like you need to input your private data but you can just skip to the end and get it. And you can't enter Kiwi Farms using that wifi which is either a problem with the encryption or some angry tranny making a blocklist.
Before I get to the rides, I just want to add that, while there is apperantly a fast pass (we weren't able to order it), Disney basically Gacha'd lines and you can pay to skip the line (don't know if it's once or for a full hour). Pretty scummy overall and it's weirdly limited to a certain amount for certain times. The post ride photos also have a massive filter over them that makes you unable to see what the fuck you look like unless you buy it, I'm 100% sure it's to prevent people from taking a photo with their phone but if you have the zero technological savvy to crop a phone image, you can just as easily find a app that removes it as well. Like before, just greediness that sours the experience since you get a big photo with an envelope if you buy it.
Anyways for the rides:
- Thunder Mountain - Probably the best ride there, even if basic for a roller coaster. Fun and in a great location.
- Star Wars rollercoaster - The remodeling of the Jules Verne is made half way (especially on the outside) which is both lazy and makes it look like no one is sure the ride will stay that way. The ride itself is done in near complete darkness so it felt like a being tossed around randomly and just made me sick more than being fun. Also no reference to the sequel films.
- Haunted House and Pirates - I forgot the Eddie Murphy movie exists. Overall fun animatronic rides without too much focusing on the films.
- Buzz Laser - Fun little distraction but the novelty wears off pretty fast.
Outside the first ride I didn't want to redo any of the other rides. There was another shitty "4d" Star Wars rides which I didn't do but my coworkers told me was unimpressive. At least the whole Marvel and Star Wars shit was relegated to a single region.
Finally, the shops were pretty boring since you can just order online everything, probably for half price, and the shops themselves are way too homogeneous, you've been in one shop you're been in them all regardless of the area. I know it's consooming but having some sort of "limited to Disneyland" product would at least been interesting.
