I used to go out with a legitimate breast fetishist -- key words, "used to." He would do things like fap into used bras women would give him because why not, because it's not like they're usable by anyone else if the hooks are gone or you outgrew them, sized down when losing weight, whatever. He also would strew the bed with them before we had sex. Man, and here I thought underwires were uncomfortable when used as designed! Lying on them? Omigod.
He had the usual stuff like large-tit porn, a tit-shaped squeeze ball, an anime-girl mousepad where the wrist rest is boobs. About the only thing he didn't have was one of those pillows like Chris, the Plush Boobs of Fail. We could have standard sex, but if he could neither see nor be touching a breast in any way, he literally could not orgasm. He vastly preferred a titty-fuck but was terrible at it, frequently just poking me in the sternum. To explain how painful this is, just know that vigorously rubbing a patient's sternum with your knuckles is one of the standard tests of whether a patient is in a coma, faking it, or in some lesser state of nonresponsiveness. If they don't respond to something that painful, there is a serious problem.
He would do this, splork all over my chest, and then get in the shower first, leaving me to wait to clean myself up. He literally handed me a vibrator and said, "Here, I don't want you to feel left out." He would never, ever touch me below the waist with his hand, never mind cunnilingus, although he wanted blow jobs and, when he felt very adventurous, asked for a finger in the ass. Key words, "asked for."
At least (???) he wasn't also a disability fetishist. Au contraire. I have spinal problems, complete with limp and cane, and I have fibromyalgia, and for a very long time I used to have seizures because of complex PTSD. They weren't real epilepsy so they couldn't be treated with medication. So one night I was having an extremely bad fibro flare, with pain in literally every joint, and I broke our date for that evening. He said, "Oh, you're broken." I nearly broke off the whole relationship right then, but he backpedaled really fast and convinced me to see him again some other time, it was just a joke, har de fucking har. And recently, YEARS after we were a thing (I've been living with my current boyfriend for more than four years), he told me he remembered the times I would come over to stay the night, and then have a seizure. What he remembered was getting blue balls. Thankfully this guy will probably die alone.
WHATTHEFUCKINGFUCKDIDIJUSTREADJESUSCHRIST!
