Defensive Planning: Bongland edition

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Murun Buchstansangur

Murun Buchstansangur

Has eyes that are too close together.
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Mar 14, 2024
In preparing for any upcoming zombie apocalypse, the bong must be very mindful of the law.
My suggestion: learn archery, and how to make your own bow.

Primitive Technology is a great channel for learning stuff like that, he's one man in the wilderness and I think he's up to middle ages tech by now.

Personal defense? The other age old thing they can't really do you for is a maglite torch, which is hefty enough to whack someone with.
Please keep American "lol no guns" comments to a minimum. Yes, we know.
 
I mean this sincerely, is "leaving" not your plan? I really don't know how anyone can be in the UK and think they're going to weather any kind of storm there.
 
If your plan for when society collapses is to go to the woods, cut down a wood stave, and dry it for six months to make a longbow, then spend a year practicing to hit a man-sized target at 30 yards, I recommend re-evaluating the entire strategy. Instead get a kitchen knife wrapped in a rag so you don't cut yourself, create a hobo flail by tying a padlock to the end of a bandana or a scarf, and get good at running. Or make friends with the Albanians and get a real weapon.

Also in case Russia invades, learn the phrase: "ne strelyaite, ya zdayus" (don't shoot, I surrender)
 
Null said:
I mean this sincerely, is "leaving" not your plan? I really don't know how anyone can be in the UK and think they're going to weather any kind of storm there.
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There are still some English people who stubbornly don't want to give up the land.

Badungus Kabungus said:
If your plan for when society collapses is to go to the woods, cut down a wood stave, and dry it for six months to make a longbow, then spend a year practicing to hit a man-sized target at 30 yards, I recommend
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My recommendation is to learn all that stuff before the collapse. I've got as far as taking archery lessons myself, which is a start.
 
Murun Buchstansangur said:
My recommendation is to learn all that stuff before the collapse. I've got as far as taking archery lessons myself, which is a start.
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I honestly can't imagine using a bow successfully in any defensive scenario. Sure on paper it sounds like better than nothing, but I would use the time to either make black powder and a pipe shotgun or make friends with Albanians instead. Maybe get an antique gun and get good at handloading if that's an option.
 
Also: Chinese crossbows and metal bolts are relatively cheap at the moment. Stock up on extra rubber drawstrings tho.
 
UK has to be one of the worst places for this. A densely populated island nation, crawling with hostile foreigners.
Your cities are already plagued by brown people with butterknives and Pakis burning each other with sulfuric acid.
At least Amerimutts will have guns to shoot looters, rapists or cannibals on sight, should the nigger-apocalypse come to fruition in Murica.
We've seen all the above all too recently in Haiti....
Bonglands hordes would be at liberty to resort to their lowest instincts with nigh-complete impunity.
 
Bloodthirsty Nosenigger said:
UK has to be one of the worst places for this. A densely populated island nation, crawling with hostile foreigners.
Your cities are already plagued by brown people with butterknives and Pakis burning each other with sulfuric acid.
At least Amerimutts will have guns to shoot looters, rapists or cannibals on sight, should the nigger-apocalypse come to fruition in Murica.
We've seen all the above all too recently in Haiti....
Bonglands hordes would be at liberty to resort to their lowest instincts with nigh-complete impunity.
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Ah, you're here, fantastic. Now you can learn why I figured "Urea" for an Ammonia source. Bare in mind, I am currently suffering from heart failure, so there may be some mistakes. Luckily, the Jew Hunter is here.

So, fuck the bow. Here in Bongland, nitrates are practically illegal. They're impossible to buy in-store, you have to have permits and shit to buy anything except Sodium Nitrate, and you can't get any acids either. If you buy curing salt, you're getting a visit from the police. But, you can buy AdBlue (DEF) to skip that by accelerating the decomposition. It's like the urine-gunpowder trick, except with several gallons of 33% urea solution for a relatively low price.

The trick is to build an aerobic fermenter using a hairdryer and a big tub. If your hairdryer has an extra cool setting, nice - the optimum is 37C, like with alcohol fermentation.

And... that's all. I used baking soda, and it was harder to dry the fucking NaNO3 than it was to make it from Urea. Traditionally, leeched wood ash is used for potassium nitrate, KNO3. Nitrates have the horrifying tendency to just never dry and are a pain in the arse to use, hence the use of the generally superior smokeless powders. KNO3 can be used for rocket propellant, though.

You can use Epsom Salt, a plant pot and a bowl to jury-rig a separated electrolyser, with the anode for the H2SO4.

With those two, job done - H2SO4 can be used to produce Nitric Acid from the above salt, and hydrochloric acid from table salt. Both can be distilled relatively easily.

Silver can react with nitric acid and then with ethanol, to produce silver fulminate for primers - H2SO4 and Nitric Acid can combine to produce a protonated acid, according to Mr Jewish Chemist over there, and this will react with cotton or glycerol (primary constituent in vape juice) to produce nitrocellulose and nitroglycerine, respectively. These two, combined in a mixture, make a generic firearm propellant. The rest is all metalsmithing and pressing - much more of a practical skillset, but there's not many secrets or regulations to speak of.


The rest can be built as you go. Cement, wax, paper mache and plaster can be used to make oddly shaped shit - precision is hard at first, but you can start from effectively zero and build yourself up to a good standard. Cement, wood and metal are good for structures, while wax and plaster can be used for holding the cement up while it dries.

For example - if you need to make a relatively small, complexly shaped item - you can delicately carve it from wax, coat it in plaster, then melt out the wax and fill it back up with cement or plastic. I'll update with more on that - the use of wax has been fascinating.

For melting down practically anything, you can use plant pots as a refractory, and a heat gun to provide the hot air.
 
There we go, my diastolic is back to a reasonable level.

So, the sulphuric acid method is a quick way to get access to all of the best-tasting chemicals, like nitroglycerin. If anyone asks, just tell them you have angina. Then it's allowed.

The rest is a lot trickier - but most of it is just pressing, drilling, precision and melting shit.

To melt shit, you can go either the complex way, or the easy way. The easiest way is "hotplate" - a few flowerpots, some porcelain plates for refractory, get creative. Use a heat gun to provide the hot air, fill it with charcoal, or even clean coal, for fuel and you got yourself a blast furnace.

You can recycle pretty much anything if you set it on fire. It's hardly for camping, for that you would need to recycle the heat to pre-heat the incoming air. The exhaust gas has to pass by the intake with a lot of contact surface area, so a coil of copper pipe around the intake, and a set of bellows, would work better than nothing. But since you're probably not going to be too far away from a plug socket, you can go for the heat gun.

A lot of it gets into more complex heat transfer designs, but that's mainly intuitive - thinner passes heat quicker, and massive lumps of metal will conduct heat quicker than they will heat up.
 
Just go to your local Walmart and get a Mossberg 500 and a few boxes of 00buck. Simple as.
 
Otis Mallebrok said:
Why don't you just get a shotgun, and pretend to be an avid hunter?
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UK police is very fucking weird about them. They will deny a license unless they see 'probable cause' for owning a firearm and they'll come to your house to take it away if you so much as have a domestic with the missus (probable cause to abuse the firearm). Maybe it's better in more rural counties but I used to live in Norfolk and the story about the domestic is from a farmer's son there.

You're probably better off getting the boys together, buying sledgehammers, knocking through walls into adjacent properties while a couple stout lads cover you with spears. Tunnel Snakes rule.

Or just leaving the UK.
 
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