Defendant: Ethan Oliver Ralph - Ethan Ralph's Documented Legal Troubles & Other Court Docs

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I love it when people over-invested in a cow get upset when things don't go the way they thought they'd go. Honestly among the most consistently funny moments on this forum.
 
"he squirmed out of it"
"seethe haters"

Spending $200 and 6 hours of his life to apologize to a judge isn't the own he thinks it is. Wow Ralph, you really got us.
 
Hard Toothbrush said:
I love it when people over-invested in a cow get upset when things don't go the way they thought they'd go. Honestly among the most consistently funny moments on this forum.
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You. You. You idiot! Don't you know that Ralph was finally supposed to be brought down by this brutal vicious speeding ticket. Do you not understand the deadly and catastrophic his speeding could have been. The county marshalled out their best prosecutor. The judge poured over the evidence for days and adjudicated the whole Virginia cash cow in less that 60 seconds.

You just don't see what everyone else sees. How could he have not been shaken to the core by a speeding ticket, we will never know.
 
No one's seething, Ethan. We wish you well and prosperous for all the milk you produce. This subforum will implode if you're locked up.
Total Ralphamale victory, the judge was obviously a HUGE fan of the Killstream.
 
Honestly, Ralph's life would be improved (from his perspective) if he lost his license.

That means the horse would have to drive him everywhere and he could browse the Kiwi Farms on his phone in the passenger seat.

Absolute win considering his life.
 
as unfortunate as this is, it's also unsurprising. it's simply too soon for yet another criminal conviction. the suspended sentence doesn't expire until january 5th of next year. there's still a very porcine new year's celebration to be had!

this is when i predict that the ragepig will earn his concrete sty, while meigh and her foal move along to greener pastures.
 
Catboys the Musical said:
Hard disagree, I don't see how a guy who records shit like this while driving in traffic could possibly be a hazard on the road.
sowwygadur.mp4
HIS ARRIVAL IS FUCKING IMMINENT
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His eyes were on the road for maybe 1 second of that entire clip. It would be a shame if he did more of these.
Sexy Potoo said:
Honestly, Ralph's life would be improved (from his perspective) if he lost his license.

That means the horse would have to drive him everywhere and he could browse the Kiwi Farms on his phone in the passenger seat.

Absolute win considering his life.
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True Ralphamales use only the finest Ubers. Better than limousines! Five star days all the way!
 
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