Death Stranding - Hideous Kojumbo does it again

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Miller said:
I bet Kojimbo is into NTR.
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Bumping because it took me this many months just to finish slogging through watching someone else's LP of 2 (which I began upon release; and couldn't believe how shit it was even as a sequel to a ridiculous video game with a nonsensical plot). It was fun seeing that every page since 52 was the same points and gripes being conveyed over and over as more people completed the game.

This was such an impacted turd of mediocrity that I hope someone is dumb enough to pay Kojumbo to make a third game with "psychically smokes a Virginia Slim" Elle Fanning inexplicably showing the soles of her bare feet for stretches of a game with forty hours of cutscenes.
 
Agreed, @Marc . I surfed miscellaneous livestreams of DS2 around release and came to the same conclusion. DS1 remains the newest AAA game I've completed. The biggest complaint I have was in the writing. In DS1, the writing was a slow burn. The mysteries swirled and built and flowed across the entire narrative. DS2 just loads all the reveal into a shotgun and blasts you with it in the last scene.

The Pokemon pocket monster shit with the BTs was kinda neat, and I suppose that mechanically DS2 worked out a lot of DS1's flaws, but DS1's mechanics weren't its strong suit to begin with, and DS2 really overemphasizes actual combat success.

Anyhow, fuck Kojima, pretentious prick managed to build my expectations for DS2 just to crush them cruelly with nontent.
 
I'm happy to elaborate on that one:

In MGS2, one of the main characters (Otacon) reveals that his sister is deathly afraid of water because their dad (Huey) tried to drown her with him when he abruptly committed suicide in the family pool. After she gets murdered by a bisexual Samurai Jack who fakes being a vampire through having cancer and robots for blood which allow him to control his buoyancy, Otacon admits that the reason his dad snapped and impulsively tried to murder-suicide his daughter is because he had just watched his teenage son fucking his new wife through the window of their house.

By time we get to MGSV (which takes place in the past), Huey has been introduced as a character we know is fated to die in a manner exceedingly fucked up, even by Metal Gear standards. So Huey was retconned to be a callous, deranged, opportunistic, paraplegic narcissist incapable of loyalty or remorse, who murders his wife as disproportionate retribution for telling him "no" when he says he's going to use their infant son as a test pilot for a mech. Then he gets most of his own organization killed due to motivations basically boiling down to just being a petty dick and massive liability for no reason wherever he goes. His motives making so little sense, combined with never demonstrating guilt, allow him to actually get away with his crimes for years, until he's finally exposed and confronted with overwhelming evidence of what he actually is and has done - And he just denies all of it.

But because canon requires him to live until the 1997 cucking incident, he is "exiled" from his PMC in a life raft, and last seen still whining and lying to himself about what a monster he obviously is.

As someone who played each of the Metal Gear games as they were released, I was greatly amused to see the quality/quantity of sins Kojima apparently felt was necessary for someone to perpetrate before they "deserved" to be cucked. Then he has Sam and Neil cuck each other in DS2 just so their unethical therapist can be retconned into being a big enough bitch to deserve to be the brain dead woman harvested for her fetus just before being vaporized by a nuclear explosion (as established in DS1) caused by the corpse of one of her cucks after she got the both of them shot ("revealed" in DS2).

Cuckoldry is one of the oddest retconning tools in Kojumbo's toolbox, and he seems to require a whole bunch of unnecessary steps happen along with it.
 
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Marc said:
In MGS2, one of the main characters (Otacon) reveals that his sister is deathly afraid of water because their dad (Huey) tried to drown her with him when he abruptly committed suicide in the family pool. After she gets murdered by a bisexual Samurai Jack who fakes being a vampire through having cancer and robots for blood which allow him to control his buoyancy, Otacon admits that the reason his dad snapped and impulsively tried to murder-suicide his daughter is because he had just watched his teenage son fucking his new wife through the window of their house.
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Obligatory Let's Destroy Metal Gear Again.
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Marc said:
By time we get to MGSV (which takes place in the past), Huey has been introduced as a character we know is fated to die in a manner exceedingly fucked up, even by Metal Gear standards. So Huey was retconned to be a callous, deranged, opportunistic, paraplegic narcissist incapable of loyalty or remorse,
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We meet Huey in Peace Walker, though, where he sows the seeds of this behavior but worst of all tells Big Boss that Santa Claus isn't real.
 
Marc said:
sister is deathly afraid of water
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Been a while since I played the game, but why the fuck she is then inside a massive oceanic research station?

Anyways Japanese are crazy when it comes to cucking or marrying a non virgin woman. Not that it's something small, but it's an entire complex that, like trannies, eventually infected web culture outside it.
 
wtfNeedSignUp said:
Been a while since I played the game, but why the fuck she is then inside a massive oceanic research station?
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Isn't 2 the one that everyone agrees happens in VR? I wouldn't think too hard about that kind of detail.

MGSV is a lot more confusing because it's the one that definitely takes place post-MGS3 despite the fact that the characters who are obviously lying to you about everything and eventually tell you they were lying about everything initially tell you that the year is 1984 (except with all the fucking holograms and robots and stuff), but I'm not sure any of that shit is work thinking about either.
 
Marc said:
Bumping because it took me this many months just to finish slogging through watching someone else's LP of 2
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who did you watch? I don't want to play the game and I also don't want to watch a random toxic-positive fag that will not offer any criticism or thoughts while playing.
 
AntiMage said:
who did you watch? I don't want to play the game and I also don't want to watch a random toxic-positive fag that will not offer any criticism or thoughts while playing.
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Those are the only kind. Because the game itself is stupid and bad, I ensured I would get some schadenfreude laughs by watching a cow streamer (who glazed it while misunderstanding basic plot points). For anyone else, I can't recommend doing more than skimming one of those 20+ hour "no commentary" videos and seeing for yourself just how much money was wasted to realize all the half-baked ideas padding out this video game sequel.

That said, it's pure Kojumbo schlock - So I was able to find entertainment here and there for "so bad it's good" reasons which included the ending guitar duel resolved by the deus ex machina of a giant, man-eating baby.
 
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