DC Comics Multimedia General - A crisis of infinite fuck ups

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Hell, even Black Adam, the Dwayne Johnson ego trip that it was, tried to take itself seriously and didn't have any orgies.
Pierce Brosnan's turn as Doctor Fate gave that movie what quality it had. Well, that, and being a soft sequel to Shazam, which was itself surprisingly good.
Changing the topic, ever since DC bought Wildstorm, it seems few know what to do with The Authority, which is amusing as the group began as a knockoff of the Justice League but edgier and more animesque. Gunn inserted The Engineer in the Supersoy movie, but she was a bit redundant and could have been literally anyone else (also, wasn't she supposed to be black?).
The Authority is a mouth-breathing sociopaths (read: Garth Ennis's) idea of a super team. The only thing they're good for in a larger universe is jobbing for actual characters and hopefully being the subject of a Redeemers-esque massacre by a greater scope villain.
 
Meanwhile the actual sequel to Shazam was even worse than Black Adam.
The only Captain Marvel villain I even know is the little bald dork with glasses. So I check who’s in the sequel and it’s like… three random Greek nobodies? They aren’t even from the comics.

Even WW fans got sick of that Zeus and Hera stuff 30 years ago.
 
The Gunn shills are relentless. I commented how Starro is supposed to be a heavyweight that wrestles Superman, Wonder Woman, all the big heroes, and his seething cultists showed up coping that Harley killing it with an army of rats is somehow not quirk chungus bullshit.
 
The only Captain Marvel villain I even know is the little bald dork with glasses. So I check who’s in the sequel and it’s like… three random Greek nobodies? They aren’t even from the comics.

Even WW fans got sick of that Zeus and Hera stuff 30 years ago.
Yeah Captain Marvel is fun, but doesn't have that big of a villain pool. Dr Sivana, Black Adam, Mr Mind and Captain Nazi are the only ones I remember.

EDIT: knew mixed up Sivana's surname.
 
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Yeah Captain Marvel is fun, but doesn't have that big of a villain pool. Dr Silva, Black Adam, Mr Mind and Captain Nazi are the only ones I remember.
The only Captain Marvel villain I even know is the little bald dork with glasses. So I check who’s in the sequel and it’s like… three random Greek nobodies? They aren’t even from the comics.

I sorta get why they were pushed to the wall. The first movie had already used Sivana and the Seven Deadly Enemies of Man.

The Rock took two of the most powerful physical villains — Black Adam and Sabbac. Captain Nazi was pretty much unusable because it’s current day, so that was just a PR disaster waiting to happen. And these ain’t the boys. These movies are for kids.

Mr. Mind, the smart worm, is their most iconic villain left. There’s probably a comic where he comes off cool, but let’s be honest — he was never going to sell tickets or make a flashy trailer. Maybe as a twist villain he could’ve worked.

The Greek pantheon as villains would have been cool, but Wonder Woman already established they were all dead. And WB/Znyder was probably too anal about letting them use Ares (killed by WW), Hades (Not evil in the original myths but people do get hyped abiut him), Zeus etc as villains. So they went with Greek mythology nobodies.

…Not that I’m excusing the lack of creativity. Nothing was stopping them from making an OC villain or pulling from another pantheon. Egyptian, Chinese, Indian — all could’ve worked. Egyptian would’ve made sense since Isis is part of the Shazam/Marvel family mythos and Black Adam is empowered By Egyptian gods. Seth as a villain could’ve been dope.

I’ve seen people praising Shazam’s 2 plot of depowering them.Which, to be blunt, is retarded. What’s the point of giving your characters superpowers if you’re not going to let them use them? Imagine marketing a Spider-Man movie without Peter swinging around or using webs.

They couldn’t use their A material, but they were also a lot of workarounds, But they went with the blandest option possible.
 
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I sorta get why they were pushed to the wall. The first movie had already used Sivana and the Seven Deadly Enemies of Man.
Hear me out…

Why didn’t they just make the villains Superwoman and her Made Men like Crisis on Two Earths? With that you get a family of supers to combat the newly made Shazam family. Superwoman would also allow for more emphasis to be placed on Mary and her relationship with the rest, as clearly the movie wanted more focus on her. If it was an issue, they easily could have rewrote the multiverse part as the wizard having given power to the wrong family before, maybe a slight nod to Black Adam as another mistake.

Edit: They could have followed up on the Mind and Sivana plot with them opening up a dimension or cloning them to bring in the evil variants.
 
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Mr. Mind, the smart worm, is their most iconic villain left. There’s probably a comic where he comes off cool, but let’s be honest — he was never going to sell tickets or make a flashy trailer. Maybe as a twist villain he could’ve worked.
One thing in your post I disagree on. Mr. Mind is so off-the-wall and opens so many doors to wild scenarios that he'd be an excellent villain. Want Billy fighting his super-powered siblings? Mr. Mind can bring that. Want an interdimensional or alien threat? Mr. Mind can do that. Want government agents and military treating Shazam as a threat and acting against him? Billy wrestling against Mr. Mind's control, Billy being an evil Shazam for a while (or just an evil Billy), Billy's mom re-appearing as part of some Mr. Mind scheme? Mr. Mind is your "introduce any theme / conflict" you want card. He's a bizarre alien manipulator. Plus he's hilariously weird which is what you want in a Shazam movie. You couldn't use him in Superman or Batman or Wonder Woman - not movie versions, anyway. It'd be a stretch to include him in a Flash movie. But Shazam he works. Billy is a kid, talking caterpillars work for the tone in that Mind is both silly and horrifying at the same time.

Plus they did that whole set up at the end of the first movie only to throw it away in favour of... Rachel Zegler.
 
Plus they did that whole set up at the end of the first movie only to throw it away in favour of... Rachel Zegler.
You can always tell when someone got cast because the director just wanted to hang out with them.

And I’m not really one to nitpick about accuracy (Zeus could be played by Joe Rogan for all I care) but Lucy Liu is giving me Rita Repulsa.
 
The Authority is a mouth-breathing sociopaths (read: Garth Ennis's) idea of a super team. The only thing they're good for in a larger universe is jobbing for actual characters and hopefully being the subject of a Redeemers-esque massacre by a greater scope villain.
That team being a psychopath's take on a super-team would explain many things, as the cast is made by the stupid meme of Bats and Supes being gay (even worse, they're pretty much that but improved as the Solar guy doesn't have any weakness IIRC), a super nanomachine hacker woman that can do magic with tech and powerful enough to stand out on her own, a city elemental, a knock-off Sorcerer Supreme with a focus on Earth... Not sure if there's anyone else. By themselves the idea could work, but their edgy attitude is what eventually rubbed me off the wrong way.

Warren Ellis actually. Planetary was the better book by him and faggot free too.
Planetary was good, but this one had a different flaw: Characters' relationships were relatively weak. The cast felt cold and a bit bland, likely because the characters aren't sufficiently developed. The idea of skipping the final fight to defeat the bad guys by using a trap was okay, but it felt anticlimactic*. There's a reason why the climatic fight is a thing. Nevertheless, the sense of wonder was there, with weird shit everywhere.

*In fact, there's not much fighting despite being a superhero comic, oddly enough.
 
One thing in your post I disagree on. Mr. Mind is so off-the-wall and opens so many doors to wild scenarios that he'd be an excellent villain. Want Billy fighting his super-powered siblings? Mr. Mind can bring that. Want an interdimensional or alien threat? Mr. Mind can do that. Want government agents and military treating Shazam as a threat and acting against him? Billy wrestling against Mr. Mind's control, Billy being an evil Shazam for a while (or just an evil Billy), Billy's mom re-appearing as part of some Mr. Mind scheme? Mr. Mind is your "introduce any theme / conflict" you want card. He's a bizarre alien manipulator. Plus he's hilariously weird which is what you want in a Shazam movie. You couldn't use him in Superman or Batman or Wonder Woman - not movie versions, anyway. It'd be a stretch to include him in a Flash movie. But Shazam he works. Billy is a kid, talking caterpillars work for the tone in that Mind is both silly and horrifying at the same time.

Plus they did that whole set up at the end of the first movie only to throw it away in favour of... Rachel Zegler.

I actually agree with you. I love the irony of a weak worm being their worst enemy of people with the literal power of gods.

I explained my self poorly but I think ultimately they didn't go with him because they, most likely marketing, got cold feet. Mr mind would've been great but I think he would have needed some back up to give spectacle for the trailers as movie goers don't know anything about him yet.

Why didn’t they just make the villains Superwoman and her Made Men like Crisis on Two Earths? With that you get a family of supers to combat the newly made Shazam family.

For those who haven't seen the movie, I strongly recommend it. It's easily one of their best animated films.

The premise is that there's an evil Justice League, with each member having a villainous counterpart.The oddity is that, for some reason, instead of an "Evil Wonder Woman," they used an evil version of Mary Marvel as Wonder Woman's counterpart, named Superwoman.

It worked surprisingly well. Superwoman and Owlman stole the movie and were by far the most memorable villains. Long story short, she led her own Shazam family—her "made men"—with herself as the leader.

I like this idea because Superwoman is legit a great villain on her own. It would have made a fantastic movie.
 
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That team being a psychopath's take on a super-team would explain many things, as the cast is made by the stupid meme of Bats and Supes being gay (even worse, they're pretty much that but improved as the Solar guy doesn't have any weakness IIRC), a super nanomachine hacker woman that can do magic with tech and powerful enough to stand out on her own, a city elemental, a knock-off Sorcerer Supreme with a focus on Earth... Not sure if there's anyone else. By themselves the idea could work, but their edgy attitude is what eventually rubbed me off the wrong way.
Authority's later lineup of mostly former W.I.L.D.CATS members massively downscale the team Mary/Gary's Sue OPness. Going by the online wikis of the team. .
 
The funny thing is, thats not the meme: the actual meme is Batman and Robin being gay, but leaning into that would involve having father-son incest in your 3edgy5u superhero story... which im pretty sure has too much actual edge for these supposed rebels.
Ah, that's an old one. Jokes were made since the 60s or so, but yeah, it would be too much for that comic, even if the not-Robin is adopted.
 
The new Superman movie sucks balls. Major balls. I hated it.

I can't believe that there are a good amount of people defending it, actually. I think the movie is a total disaster that deserves universal hate of the likes of FantFourStick or something. Man of Steel looks like a fucking masterpiece by comparison, and I don't even like Man of Steel.

Forget about the immigrant debate surrounding this movie, because it's fucking stupid for a plethora of reasons that I won't get into because then I'd be typing out an entire novel about something that doesn't matter. The movie is 100% woke though. Superman is continuously disrespected, emasculated, and sidelined for other characters throughout the entire fucking movie. He doesn't win a single damn fight in it, and it royally pisses me off. And the whole "online monkeys" thing is one of the single-most cringey and ridiculous things I've ever seen in a capeshit movie, which is really saying something. That was 100% James Gunn trying to "own the chuds" for calling him out online several years ago for making thousands of pedo jokes. Fuuuuuck off, James.

It is very apparent that James Gunn is not a Superman fan, and actively hates the character, because when the film isn't spending time disrespecting Supes, it's James Gunn using the film as a soapbox to project his opinions about online trolls or something? The fuck? lol.

You know who could have pulled a movie like this off without flaunting a massive ego? Sam Raimi. If the angle this movie wanted to take was that Superman is a nice guy in spite of being disrespected all of the time, then Sam Raimi (you know, the dude who was mostly inspired by The Three Stooges) would have handled it much more seriously and respectfully while still making it kid friendly. Hell, Sam Raimi actually did already pull this off with his Spider-Man movies.

I'm pretty floored by how terrible this movie was. I'm shocked that the general consensus is that it's "mid." No. Guardians Vol. 3 was mid. This was a sloppy and cringey mess of a film that may have just torpedoed an entire cinematic universe before it can even start. Mark my words: The Snyderverse is going to end up having more movies than this.

Warner Bros. hiring James Gunn to direct a Superman movie was them pulling out the big guns (pun unintended). If these are the big guns/the best that WB can do, then the DCU is fucked.
 
Wow they showed peepee in 2025??

Like I haven’t seen this clickbait headline 40 times already? Euphoria, The Boys.... It isn't even groundbreaking coming from DC, anyway. Everyone I grew up with thought DC was the more M-rated one. Marvel was for the kids.
Reminds me of the "FUCK BATMAN" line from the first Titans trailer.
The Authority is a mouth-breathing sociopaths (read: Garth Ennis's) idea of a super team. The only thing they're good for in a larger universe is jobbing for actual characters and hopefully being the subject of a Redeemers-esque massacre by a greater scope villain.
I think the funniest thing about the Authority is that nowadays, people only know them as "That one team Manchester Black and the Elite were parodying."
 
I'm pretty floored by how terrible this movie was. I'm shocked that the general consensus is that it's "mid." No. Guardians Vol. 3 was mid. This was a sloppy and cringey mess of a film that may have just torpedoed an entire cinematic universe before it can even start. Mark my words: The Snyderverse is going to end up having more movies than this.
I take the movie in two separate terms.

As a generic superhero film, it is fine. Has some decent jokes and action that will make normies clap and just enough substance to push it a little ahead.

As a Superman film, it is dog shit. It blatantly misunderstands the character, feeling like a Wikipedia reading of Lex and Superman with dialogue that sounds like a character description. It is obvious that Gunn just wants to work with his pet projects of the Justice Gang, Authority and Suicide Squad, all of which get more care. Superman is the ultimate “getting it over with” project so Gunn can go make his next subversive man-child with daddy issues project starring a D-Tier DC character he will reinvent with toilet humor.

Warner Bros. hiring James Gunn to direct a Superman movie was them pulling out the big guns (pun unintended). If these are the big guns/the best that WB can do, then the DCU is fucked.
It wasn’t. Gunn was a last resort as no one wanted to lead DC after Snyder. Hell, Gunn wouldn’t have even done it without the Twitter cancellation. Wish Warner would just let some unknowns from their animation department take over as they would do 10x a better job than this.

It is very apparent that James Gunn is not a Superman fan, and actively hates the character, because when the film isn't spending time disrespecting Supes, it's James Gunn using the film as a soapbox to project his opinions about online trolls or something? The fuck? lol.
Gunn specializes in one thing and one thing only, that being edgy man child characters and casts. It works with D-listers no one cares about like the Guardians of the Galaxy since there is little fan base to push back on him, but not with an icon like Superman. This isn’t new, he hated the Guardians as well and completely changed them from being bad ass space police to a goofy joke, then he changed Peacemaker and the Suicide Squad into the same thing.

He was absolutely the wrong pick for DC as he cannot contain his humor and want to do nothing but literal who characters. As said above, Warner couldn’t find anyone else and Gunn had clout from Marvel so they strapped themselves to his retarded vision of Creature Commandos, Authority and Suicide Squad being the basis of DC.
 
I think the funniest thing about the Authority is that nowadays, people only know them as "That one team Manchester Black and the Elite were parodying."
Hey, the Elite parody was actually better, as they were painted as bad guys.
The last thing I remember about the Authority psychos is reading about how there's an apocalyptic event of some sort, then the team unironically take over the world for... Reasons.

It works with D-listers no one cares about like the Guardians of the Galaxy since there is little fan base to push back on him, but not with an icon like Superman.
I wonder how this will apply to the Authority, once again. Not-Batman and not-Supes were very gay, edgy, and little else by default, the Engineer is a horndog who fucked an ugly, fatty Mexican in a waay-too-graphic scene, the wizard guy is a stoner 24/7, and the city elemental and the Spark girl had little personality.
Normies might see them as redundant copies of the JL (which they are). Perhaps they should have been an animated work first.
 
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