DC Comics Multimedia General - A crisis of infinite fuck ups

[el bandito loco]

I was thinking, did they ever throw in Alfred E. ?
iirc he's legally a part of the DC empire since... at least the 90s?

I don't know but I have a relevant memory. When Superman Returns came out I got the issue of MAD with that parody as the cover story, and I can remember literally nothing about the issue besides in that story, in the beginning when he first lands back on Earth and is living with his mom awhile, he tells her while she was asleep he took care of all the chores including milking the cow. His mom tells him they don't have a cow she only has a bull. The next panel is a bull with hearts all around him staring at Clark.

I specifically remember sitting on the school bus with my buddy laughing that there was an official DC magazine that featured Superman jerking off a bull. little did I know a decade later he'd get actually raped in prison in an official DC comic and all the other atrocities and missteps coming for my boy later on in my life.

 

[Basic Blond Boy]

So apparently the new Superman movie has had some leaks and it sounds like the film is utter shit, no surprise I am sure for @el bandito loco

Was listening to the leaked plot which sees to make Superman an allegory for Russia/Ukraine with Lex profiteering off a very similar conflict and being molded into an Elon Musk character. Lex will also be into animal cruelty as he beats Krypto.

Jimmy Olsen will be a super ladies man that cucks incel Lex. He will also have a plot about sending his nudes out, which will end up being the key to everything.

The additional heroes are said to just be the Guardians of the Galaxy, go figure. Superman is said to barely be in the film.

Basically, the entire film seems to be usual Gunn juvenile humor and edgelord content. It sounds like Supergirl is also shaping up to be the same. Bros, I have little hope RN for this universe, hopefully none of the above is true.

Also not looking good is that we aware supposed to get a trailer this week at Cinema Con, which doesn't seem to be happening. Batman should also be getting a trailer.

 

[el bandito loco]

Jimmy Olsen will be a super ladies man that cucks incel Lex.

this part I actually find funny and I'm okay with ultimate Chad Jimmy. the dick and Olsen twins pics being a plot point though, I am not. what sucks the most about this movie, is like every fuckin superhero movie or show, it's like a monkeys paw wish I made accidentally as a kid/teen that came back to bite me in the dick.

I always wanted Krypto and some weird silver age shit in a movie, mad scientist lex, but played straight. I'm getting that stuff, in a self aware comedy by the guy who made Scooby Doo 20 years ago.

just like I always wanted a Batman movie thematically focused on Bruce and Dick as father and son, and Alfred's role as Bruce's dad a point made, I got it. In fucking LEGO Batman. (Although that was pretty good but y'all know what I'm saying)

I always wanted to see Death of Superman and Dark Knight Returns as movies. I got them both, in the same shitty movie.

On that point, I saw Watchmen in theaters and thought, wow I hope they let Zack Snyder direct more DC movies purely based on visuals and style. They did, but they let him write the fuckin things and gave him carte blanche to do whatever he wanted.

Wanted a Flash movie with zany time travel, I got one. Starring a psychopath, that's a stealth sequel to Batman Returns which I also always wanted Keaton back in beyond or something but got him in a shitty flash movie where there are two flashes, one where he's the flash, one who because his mom didn't die became a cartoon idiot stoner.

 

[urr13 account]

Lex will also be into animal cruelty as he beats Krypto.

People want a villain they can like in a way, having them abuse animals makes them too evil and is generally upsetting to audiences.

Allegedly there's also a 15-minute long scene where Lois and Superman debate Superman's role in global politics which sounds extremely boring and cringe.

The movie basically pausing so James Gunn can have Lois explain to the audience why Elon Musk(Lex) is bad and make really obvious parallels to either russia/ukraine or israel/palestine. Just what people want from a summer movie a 15-minute long political debate where Gunn can really stroke himself off with MovieBob tier political takes. wHaT iF mArIo mEt pUtleR

 

[Alexander Thaut]

So apparently the new Superman movie has had some leaks and it sounds like the film is utter shit, no surprise I am sure for @el bandito loco

Was listening to the leaked plot which sees to make Superman an allegory for Russia/Ukraine with Lex profiteering off a very similar conflict and being molded into an Elon Musk character. Lex will also be into animal cruelty as he beats Krypto.

Jimmy Olsen will be a super ladies man that cucks incel Lex. He will also have a plot about sending his nudes out, which will end up being the key to everything.

The additional heroes are said to just be the Guardians of the Galaxy, go figure. Superman is said to barely be in the film.

Basically, the entire film seems to be usual Gunn juvenile humor and edgelord content. It sounds like Supergirl is also shaping up to be the same. Bros, I have little hope RN for this universe, hopefully none of the above is true.

Also not looking good is that we aware supposed to get a trailer this week at Cinema Con, which doesn't seem to be happening. Batman should also be getting a trailer.

I just wish Gunn wasn't being a dick to the Batman director and would work with him.

Gunn's stuff is slop. It's better than Snyder because, well, Gunn isn't up his own ass. Guardians of the Galaxy was fine. It wasn't top tier, but it's enjoyable slop. Gunn's Suicide Squad? Again, fine slop. Not top tier. But you could do far far worse as a moviegoer.

I've heard rumors that Gunn's trying to sort of do a take on the JLI? Could be worthwhile. I mean, Hawkman-Hawkgirl for the married couple as a replacement for Big Barda-Mr. Miracle kinda works.

Don't care about the allegory for Russia/Ukraine. This shit's just another comic book plot with them maybe trying to vaguely flavor it as eastern european.

I await my perfectly milquetoast 5/10 capeshit film with okay aesthetics and soundtrack.

Wonder if James Gunn is related to James E. Gunn, the old sci-fi writer that was around for decades with stuff like The Joy Makers and etc.

 

[Bloodrage]

I always wanted to see Death of Superman and Dark Knight Returns as movies. I got them both, in the same shitty movie.

At least we got an animated version that was faithful to the comic

 

[el bandito loco]

I just wish an actual superman fan was making this movie. or even a guy who doesn't really give a shit about superman but is willing to look beyond the same 3 stories every fucking list online tells you (All Star, Kingdom Come, and Whatever Happened to Truth, Justice & the American Way), and was willing to do the more out there stuff in a non tongue in (ass)cheek way. Gunn is on record for looking at literally the most normie Superman books and then because he likes funny stuff (and making fun of it) he looked at and threw in some Silver Age stuff just to ruin any chance it will ever have of being done cool.

The comedic shit has fucking killed movies. Not just superhero movies, but movies in general. Everything has this goofy ass quippy tone that fucking sucks balls. I got a fuckin' story idea, Whatever Happened to Organic Levity?

and all this shit with Matt Reeves is just fucking depressing. I didn't like the Batman that much (I liked it but it really rubbed me the wrong way I finally got my detective Batman movie and he doesn't detect shit. He can't figure out a rat with wings is a bat, the penguin knows Spanish better than him which was funny. good example of humor in one of these things, and the Riddler just told him his plan in the end he didn't figure it out and even riddler is like you fucking retard I spelled it out for you)

That said, cucking him out of Clayface and Robin and shit, forcing him into the mob box is a low fuckin blow. The Penguin show was great, wouldn't it be awesome to get a Batman who deals with shit like that AND supernatural/Sci fi weirdness? thanks for taking that from me you smug cocksucker. And also thanks for getting this franchise cut from a long running thing to a Trilogy, but making it take as fucking long as if they had made 6 movies.

 

[Xenomorphs Are Cute]

this part I actually find funny and I'm okay with ultimate Chad Jimmy. the dick and Olsen twins pics being a plot point though, I am not. what sucks the most about this movie, is like every fuckin superhero movie or show, it's like a monkeys paw wish I made accidentally as a kid/teen that came back to bite me in the dick.

I always wanted Krypto and some weird silver age shit in a movie, mad scientist lex, but played straight. I'm getting that stuff, in a self aware comedy by the guy who made Scooby Doo 20 years ago.

just like I always wanted a Batman movie thematically focused on Bruce and Dick as father and son, and Alfred's role as Bruce's dad a point made, I got it. In fucking LEGO Batman. (Although that was pretty good but y'all know what I'm saying)

I always wanted to see Death of Superman and Dark Knight Returns as movies. I got them both, in the same shitty movie.

On that point, I saw Watchmen in theaters and thought, wow I hope they let Zack Snyder direct more DC movies purely based on visuals and style. They did, but they let him write the fuckin things and gave him carte blanche to do whatever he wanted.

Wanted a Flash movie with zany time travel, I got one. Starring a psychopath, that's a stealth sequel to Batman Returns which I also always wanted Keaton back in beyond or something but got him in a shitty flash movie where there are two flashes, one where he's the flash, one who because his mom didn't die became a cartoon idiot stoner.

Don't forget Clooney Batman also coming back, until he just didn't cause Flash flopped hard.

 

[el bandito loco]

Don't forget Clooney Batman also coming back, until he just didn't cause Flash flopped hard.

I forgot that happened. I actually liked that, I'll give the movie that, it gave me one genuine laugh and I laughed my ass off at that ending. The Flash was actually really enjoyable to me tbh but it's because it felt like a fake movie. I was sitting there watching it and it felt like a dream.

You ever dream you're watching a movie? But the movie is just an insane clusterfuck of random shit because you're dreaming? That's the Flash. Opening sequence with falling babies and Flash having a snack, batfleck in a disgusting suit being horny for wonder woman, turns out if Flash's mom survived he'd just be that burnout from your high-school who has a pot leaf cover photo on his facebook, Micheal Keaton Batman is a drunk bum eating old spaghetti, it's actually a man of steel sequel, CGI Nick Cage Superman, Clooney shows up and even Flash goes what the fuck?

I've only seen it the once but I loved watching it. I was in shock at what I witnessed. It was worth the decade wait just for sheer off the wall wasting of my time. I had more fun with it than I have more than half of the MCU because it didn't insult me, it fascinated me on how it could have possibly gotten made.

 

[The Doom Slayer]

Here is the full breakdown I found on 4chan



Sounds fucking HORRIBLE. Seems like capeshit directors are just incapable of making a simple, straight up superhero movie without injecting a fuckton of dumb, retarded horseshit into it nowadays.

 

[Alexander Thaut]

Here is the full breakdown I found on 4chan

View attachment 7168801

Sounds fucking HORRIBLE. Seems like capeshit directors are just incapable of making a simple, straight up superhero movie without injecting a fuckton of dumb, retarded horseshit into it nowadays.

>pocket universe
Oh oh no this reminds me of the whole weird shitshow with the post-crisis Superman books trying to rationalize the LOSH+Superboy surviving as a pocket universe type of thing. Post-Crisis Superman wound up killing like 3 kryptonians and did an arc where he exiled himself in punishment.

It'd be pretty funny if Gunn invalidated the Snyderverse in some way.

I just wish an actual superman fan was making this movie. or even a guy who doesn't really give a shit about superman but is willing to look beyond the same 3 stories every fucking list online tells you (All Star, Kingdom Come, and Whatever Happened to Truth, Justice & the American Way), and was willing to do the more out there stuff in a non tongue in (ass)cheek way. Gunn is on record for looking at literally the most normie Superman books and then because he likes funny stuff (and making fun of it) he looked at and threw in some Silver Age stuff just to ruin any chance it will ever have of being done cool.

The comedic shit has fucking killed movies. Not just superhero movies, but movies in general. Everything has this goofy ass quippy tone that fucking sucks balls. I got a fuckin' story idea, Whatever Happened to Organic Levity?

and all this shit with Matt Reeves is just fucking depressing. I didn't like the Batman that much (I liked it but it really rubbed me the wrong way I finally got my detective Batman movie and he doesn't detect shit. He can't figure out a rat with wings is a bat, the penguin knows Spanish better than him which was funny. good example of humor in one of these things, and the Riddler just told him his plan in the end he didn't figure it out and even riddler is like you fucking retard I spelled it out for you)

That said, cucking him out of Clayface and Robin and shit, forcing him into the mob box is a low fuckin blow. The Penguin show was great, wouldn't it be awesome to get a Batman who deals with shit like that AND supernatural/Sci fi weirdness? thanks for taking that from me you smug cocksucker. And also thanks for getting this franchise cut from a long running thing to a Trilogy, but making it take as fucking long as if they had made 6 movies.

I think the issue with movies is that it feels like self-awareness and breaking the fourth wall only works if done right and done sparingly. Deadpool broke the 4th wall a ton, but it's also framed that he's kinda consistently insane and that you shouldn't view this as a norm.


I'm tired of halfwits trying to be cool by lampshading stuff. Either play superheroes/genre stuff straightforwardly or not. At least show some love for the stuff.


Also, yeah, the quips are the worst.

 

[XYZpdq Jr.]

a 15-minute long scene where Lois and Superman debate Superman's role in global politics which sounds extremely boring and cringe.

so you're saying it's _not_ an origin story?

 

[Scarlett Johansson]

I'm screaming. People actually thought James Gunn was gonna do it right......nnnnn.....

DCEU headed for oblivion....they have no idea what they are doing and Warner Bros is full of idiots.

 

[Newcomer 42]

Gunn's stuff is slop. It's better than Snyder because, well, Gunn isn't up his own ass. Guardians of the Galaxy was fine. It wasn't top tier, but it's enjoyable slop. Gunn's Suicide Squad? Again, fine slop. Not top tier. But you could do far far worse as a moviegoer.

Guardians 1 was good, 2 mediocre at worst, 3 is terribad shit that shits on everyone, especially guys, except the racoon. The plot also happens because in a decade no-one spoke with the damn critter and learned that his bionics have DRM. Good thing he was never too hurt or anything, kek.

I just wish an actual superman fan was making this movie. or even a guy who doesn't really give a shit about superman but is willing to look beyond the same 3 stories every fucking list online tells you (All Star, Kingdom Come, and Whatever Happened to Truth, Justice & the American Way), and was willing to do the more out there stuff in a non tongue in (ass)cheek way. Gunn is on record for looking at literally the most normie Superman books and then because he likes funny stuff (and making fun of it) he looked at and threw in some Silver Age stuff just to ruin any chance it will ever have of being done cool.

I would love to see an actual Kingdom Come movie, but it will never happen (I think there's a reference in the Batman Yakuza movie, of all places). A live-action movie where Supes deals with edgy heroes and curbstomps them would be hilarious. There's one like that in animation IIRC, but it needs to be done with actors, preferably with stand-ins for The Boys and other "heroes".
If you have to do dumb superheroes, you might as well go with The Tick.

and all this shit with Matt Reeves is just fucking depressing. I didn't like the Batman that much (I liked it but it really rubbed me the wrong way I finally got my detective Batman movie and he doesn't detect shit. He can't figure out a rat with wings is a bat, the penguin knows Spanish better than him which was funny. good example of humor in one of these things, and the Riddler just told him his plan in the end he didn't figure it out and even riddler is like you fucking retard I spelled it out for you)

Not only Bats looks like the Crow and possibly under the influence of drugs, he fails to foil the bad guy's plan, he falls himself because he of course couldn't have killed the mayor when she's a black woman, which means she has perfect plot armor. I also loved how the Riddler's plan to screw rich guys ended up in screwing poor people, as usual. I didn't like how Wayne's family is demonized and no attempt at proving that was a set-up is made. Wayne family should be good to contrast with Gotham City being a shithole. Overall, it's a too-long movie.
Batman: Earth One had the same plot and was better.

That said, cucking him out of Clayface and Robin and shit, forcing him into the mob box is a low fuckin blow. The Penguin show was great, wouldn't it be awesome to get a Batman who deals with shit like that AND supernatural/Sci fi weirdness? thanks for taking that from me you smug cocksucker. And also thanks for getting this franchise cut from a long running thing to a Trilogy, but making it take as fucking long as if they had made 6 movies.

The issue is that The Penguin from his show is such an edgelord, that I can't see someone like Batman intimidating him and his comrades. They do waaay worse than a simple beatdown.

 

[Incecticyder]

Goddamn, that script would kill anyone's career! How can anyone greenlight this when they have no money to spare? Quality control was asleep at the wheel!

 

[Mac Monster]

Here is the full breakdown I found on 4chan

View attachment 7168801

Sounds fucking HORRIBLE. Seems like capeshit directors are just incapable of making a simple, straight up superhero movie without injecting a fuckton of dumb, retarded horseshit into it nowadays.

I was always anticipating this film to be dogshit but this pedophile still manged to exceed my expectations. Superman getting sidelined by several nobodies, Lex being a fucking Musk stand-in, and him getting cucked being a major plot point. It all just sounds like the sloppy seconds of the MCU.

 

[mlanguishi]

It's interesting to see some sci-fi elements in there. Chris Gore said he knew someone he trusts that saw it and they said it was great. I'm only mildly cape-shit interested at best, and I'm Superman'd out anyway, but if it gets good reviews I might be interested enough to pirate stream it.

 

[el bandito loco]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=xFU8U4UVUBs
It's interesting to see some sci-fi elements in there. Chris Gore said he knew someone he trusts that saw it and they said it was great. I'm only mildly cape-shit interested at best, and I'm Superman'd out anyway, but if it gets good reviews I might be interested enough to pirate stream it.

superficially this movie is going to have a lot of stuff I like on principal, krypto, more functional old school fortress, etc. But the execution will probably leave me cold. That said, the more I see of the suit and the visuals in general I like that stuff even less, that suit is atrocious and it still looks like a cell phone commercial.

 

[Get the rope Macaulay!]

superficially this movie is going to have a lot of stuff I like on principal, krypto, more functional old school fortress, etc. But the execution will probably leave me cold. That said, the more I see of the suit and the visuals in general I like that stuff even less, that suit is atrocious and it still looks like a cell phone commercial.

having it be pieces like that is so odd to me, obviously there's no reason to prefer the jumpsuit but its so fucking odd. it looks like a very elaborate cosplay costume, like very home made.

 

[Scarlett Johansson]

It looks so badly computerized. Parts of the plot (jimmy being a ladies man even tho realistically he's hideous irl, the evidence being cuck bait, the political parallels, the women being all one note and vapid) certainly sound exactly like Gunn's doing.