💤 Inactive David Simon Gallant - Gets Cucked Every Day, Can't wipe himself; Thirsty AF, Compulsive Masturbator, Unrepentant Racist

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Did Davey try to lick a bee?
Truly exceptional.

David wipes his ass standing up because he "never learned" to wipe his ass while seated on a toilet. We know this because he shouted it out on twitter.

Exceptional doesn't even begin to describe him. An over-ripe artichoke is more likely to succeed at any given task than David. The upside is that the artichoke would complain less.
 
David wipes his ass standing up because he "never learned" to wipe his ass while seated on a toilet. We know this because he shouted it out on twitter.

Exceptional doesn't even begin to describe him. An over-ripe artichoke is more likely to succeed at any given task than David. The upside is that the artichoke would complain less.

I honestly think ADF might be smarter than David. I can't see this guy surviving even one day on the streets.
 
While I find the idea of him licking bees oddly amusing, there is a non-exceptional possibility.
It crawled into his soda can while he wasn't looking.

Counterpoint:
IMG_2963.JPG
 
David licks bees
Nora is in a relationship with her scooter
and Nanners wants to fuck donuts.

The Rat King is fucking weird man.
I've said it before, but every Rat King member is just a grown up version of one of those cringey cheese-monkey-"random" kids. All of those examples are "jokes" written by people who never moved beyond CWC-style random-access humor, and then decided to water it down even further by removing anything potentially hurtful or offensive. So you get a version of "humor" where the only joke is "Hey, look how delightfully quirky I am!"
 
Just how dumb do you have to be to get stung on the tongue by a bee? I wonder if Dumb Dave has ever noticed that shit like this doesn't happen to people of normal intellect.
 
Someone I really admire on just retweeted a prominent journalist who I know is a serial rapist. It sucks, but I'm not going to unfollow him over it.

(I actually emailed a whole bunch of feminist bloggers asking them to write about it. I got one response and she didn't respond to my follow-up. Their lack of interest in this seriously depresses me and I've been thinking about creating a thread on one of the non-lolcow forums about it)

EDIT: I got stung on my lip by a bee when I was six years old. He could have been a kid at the time.
 
Color me surprised, I'm glad he didn't try to spin some yarn about the bee stinging his dick or his asshole. This is David Gallant after all.... the lowest functioning lolcow/retard.
 
First, a couple retweets;

GallantRetweetNzi.png

Zinnia Jones seems to forget her sect calls everyone they disagree with a Nazi, turns out "normalizing" goes both ways.

GallantRetweetJF.png


Jimmy Fallon Dun fucked up! How DARE he humanize Trump! Trumps a racist/xenophobic/sexist monster!REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Also; "Goodly" isn't a word.

And finally, the man himself;

GallantBioShock.png


Yes, of course, a 10 minute game with muh lesbians is clearly related to a Dystopian FPS which explores social and economic philosophies. You'd think someone like Gallant would love it, since you take out an Ayn-Randian Rich Cis-Het white male with a golf club.

Usually, i'd give someone the benefit of the doubt, and think this is a joke, or them being clever...but I know Gallants dumb enough to earnestly believe this.
 
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