DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[ProvenWrong]

Damn I didn't know everyone who's a detractor is now related to each other by blood through a perceived common ancestor in the distant past, what's the ancestor all of us claim we are descended from?

 

[Jose Cuervo]

Phil’s rant about YouTube monetization and it’s algorithm is absolutely hilarious.

He ranted for 15 minutes for what can just basically be translated from Pigroach to English in a single sentence: “I want the algorithm to be just like it was 12 years ago so that my videos get suggested in the front page all the time when I play new releases!”

He’s so completely out of touch with reality that somehow he still keeps surprising me with how delusional he is.

 

[Balr0g]

“I’m just a guy who wants to play games and have fun with you guys every day!”

Yeah, Phil. Welcome to the club. Who the fuck doesn’t want to just sit on their ass and play video games and get paid for it? Do you realize how out-of-touch that makes you sound? What makes you so special? Do you think that is how most people feel about their jobs? Why should anyone give a fuck that that’s all you want to do?

Your daily desire for “fun and games” is literally what a child wants, but you want to be paid — a lot — for it.

That is also the reason why he never ever wants to get a 9-5 job again. If you check out his old reeemergency videos (and there are a lot from 2016 onwards) he often says "I just want to play games and have fun" I mean yeah he makes probably more money (atm anyway) streaming then working but each year that passes he wastes the opportunity to learn for a re-entry and his whale base dwindles since they get older too. And then his false pride "I busted my ass I can't give up now" Yeah sure you busted your ass doing everything wrong. So of course you continue doing that. He is most likely holding out until he can inherit whatever his parents still have (if Melissa doesn't get the majority of it, she still lives with his parents right? So maybe they will be more favorable to her then their fuck up son)

 

[gaarashatan]

Imagine if Phil embraced being a clown and sucking at games when it started to hit. He would've had his own massive niche but ofc his ego and pride ruined it.

Who knows how long it would've lasted anyways. I'm sure his toxicity would've shown itself sooner or later down that path too

 

[GiveMeTheMoney]

There's no way someone boring like Phil will be suggested on the front page, plus the only things on the front page are usually 30 second random memes/vines or maybe some video from a big youtuber. Who would want to watch
his "chill" gameplay when all he does is talk about things that everyone can see on the screen anyway.

 

[Radical Goodspeed]

Who knows how long it would've lasted anyways. I'm sure his toxicity would've shown itself sooner or later down that path too

YouTube could force everyone to engage with Phil's content for X minutes before using their platform for ANYTHING else and it wouldn't make Phil popular, it'd just kill YouTube. He acts like he's Andy Kaufman shunted into a cosmic blindspot when he is just not entertaining as he intends. Discovery isn't the issue, you were discovered 13 years ago, unfortunately. "Survival of the fittest," is what this is, Phil, and you aren't fit. The silent movie actors didn't get any mercy because the talkies put them out of work in the years after. They adapted or were out of a career.

Which would have been true at the Helicopter company, the Best Buy, the Bank, the FGC ,etc. There's the rub, Phil: it doesn't matter what change anyone else implements. At the end of the day, Phil is the biggest detractor in Phil's life. Phil burns his bridges. Phil makes zero effort. Phil invariably finds some corrupt scheme to abuse the system he's in. Same old song and dance. What does amuse me about that rant was the one pride bubble I'm shocked isn't popped for Phil yet: that his content is shit. Like, no matter what wall you push his ego against, he will always delude himself that at the very least, that archive of shit gameplay means something to anyone but him and some cash dispensing robots, and bounce back more defiant.

 

[Factual OST Aficionado]

Thats another night of antidepressants for you, Three Letters! Proud of you!

 

[Pargon]

“That is also the reason why he never ever wants to get a 9-5 job again. If you check out his old reeemergency videos (and there are a lot from 2016 onwards) he often says "I just want to play games and have fun"”
— @Balr0g

It’s a lie of omission like so many others with Phil. He’s leaving out his definition of “fun”, which is “I play games that immediately roll over and allow me to win while my audience sits rapt and only opens their mouths when I inform them it’s time to drink my piss”.

He also conveniently leaves off the back half of his statement, that being “…while I make more money per year than an ER nurse or a municipal garbage collector and while forcing all of the responsibility for all of the poor decisions I’ve made over the last twelve years onto people half my age”.

People hate you for very good reasons Phil. If you’d ever like to lose some sleep just HMU.

 

[PutridElephant]

So this happened after the stream last night. I guess the whale didn't show up

 

[KD6-3.7]

So this happened after the stream last night. I guess the whale didn't show up

Aw, Phil gave his chat their very own little Marvel-esque post-credits scene. Of course Phil stuck around to watch reactions in his chat to his 256th delusional rant of 2021. He couldn’t stop himself from shooing away the loitering kids spreading conspiracy theories. I’m noticing his obsession with controlling wrongthink in his chat more and more.

Edit: And yeah he was also definitely hoping a whale would happen by and drop a hundred bucks.

 

[Fapcop]

Phil just called us a Hate Clan lol

It’s the Hate Army vs. the Hate Clan!

Unless Phil decides to retire his teenage-edgy “Hate Army” brand completely and rename his wheelchairs into “The Pahsitive Army”?

Or maybe Pahsitive Posse?

The ironic thing is that Inalways took Phil for be one of those guys who are too STOOPID to have political convictions of his own. His latest: “It should be illegal to shitpost about people dood!” take seems to put him somewhat into the Biden camp though, lol!

Let's not forget that Patreon page that hasn't been updated nearly four years despite his promises he'd get on that after he left Twitch.

WHEN YOU SUPPORT SOMEONE ON PATREON, ITS BECAUSE YOU LIKE THEIR WORK AND WANT TO SUPPORT THEM, OK DOOD?!

*SNORT*

It’s basically saying: “Phil! I got tremendous respect for you as a kahntent creator! Nobody has uploaded as much gameplay on YouTube as you during your 13 year legacy, I want to support that!”

ANYTHING YOU GET IS AN ADDED BONUS!!!

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

The ironic thing is that Inalways took Phil for be one of those guys who are too STOOPID to have political convictions of his own. His latest: “It should be illegal to shitpost about people dood!” take seems to put him somewhat into the Biden camp though, lol!

Phil has been of the opinion that his detractors should be thrown in prison for laughing at him since at least 2018 though. I remember him advocating for that in his "THAT WUZ MUH DEPRESSION" schizorant video.

 

[Fapcop]

Regarding the Line app, the goalposts just moved.

Phil isn't sure what it is.
But if he does have it, maybe he used it to talk to his family or coworkers or something!
Or maybe he didn't have it at all, like he said!
But even if he did somehow, it doesn't prove anything!

Well done Phil. The goalposts didn't just move, they're completely obfuscated.
This isn't indicative that you're lying at all. At all.

EDIT: If you're wondering what Phil would consider proof that he has Line at all, we'd have 'all these logs' that show him using the app.
You know, like all the Discord logs that we have for the Discord that Phil now denies existed at all.
He totally wouldn't lie if we had the logs though, then we'd have real proof of something.

Since you’re clearly an immature, stoopid shithead, lemme explain what proof is, sound good?

Proof is when Phil says it’s proof, alright?

Personally I found his Line-denial combined with his bizarro 9/11 conspiracy theories rant absolutely hilarious.

If we take 9/11 as an example (that Phil as a patriotic American doesn’t give a shit about!) Imagine if they had detonator cords and charges all over the WTC, along with security footage of Dubya and Cheney wiring it up. And some notes in Bush’s handwriting: “Remote control vs timer? CALL ISRAELIS! Nanothermite vs regular thermite?”

Now imagine George W. Bush at the podium being grilled: “Detonators?!? Detonating WHAT?! WHAT ON EARTH are you talking about? Thermite? Like the ants? I dunno anything about that tuh-huh-huh! This is just conspiracy nonsense without any proof! Setting charges? What, like legal charges?! Ok, let’s say there’s footage of me and Dick, right? Setting up these strings or whatever! That could EASILY have been us just measuring the place ok? *SNORT* There’s ZERO PROOF, ack ack ack! And even suppose that the whole place was wired up with nanothermite charges, how can you prove it wasn’t the planes that exploded it?! Because you can’t! It’s just insane conspiracy theories with no proof. Thank you for the tip Fox News, I’m not going to read the message because it’s stupid troll bullshit, so you can eat shit.. ACK! ACK!”

Phil’s rant about YouTube monetization and it’s algorithm is absolutely hilarious.

He ranted for 15 minutes for what can just basically be translated from Pigroach to English in a single sentence: “I want the algorithm to be just like it was 12 years ago so that my videos get suggested in the front page all the time when I play new releases!”

This is what happens when a low IQ narcissist basically falls in a money pit or has a winning lottery ticket.

And five years later bitches and complains that he can’t win again on the same lottery ticket.

Phil was at the right time, at the right place, was still (somewhat) charismatic and energetic enough to be watchable before a decade of social isolation ruined all that.

Like a Gacha game player who understands the basic mechanic to increase his chance of success, his smoothbrain was also able to compute that new games + out as fast as possible =$$.

And he’s been stuck like that ever since. He’s like a Neanderthal from the early Paleolithic times of Youtube cranking out flint tools, but is unable to comprehend why nobody is interested in flint tools anymore. Flint tools got him many hides and much meat! One time flint tools made woman mate with him!

So now he just sits uncomprehending and keeps cranking out the same shit, while a crowd of people stare, point and laugh and occasionally throw pennies at him. Out of pity or to see him eeking and ooking, as he sometimes does when it all gets too much.

 

[KD6-3.7]

DSP Recorded/Unrecorded Fall Guys - 09/07/21- $1 a month wont help but as little as $1 tip helps. ​

https://youtube.com/watch?v=wIBt9oSFj4c

If someone makes a death mask of Phil’s face right after he dies, I am 100% sure it will look like this. It’s both kinda disturbing AYYYUND funny.

Edit: responding to @Balr0g ’s response to my earlier post… What Phil still doesn’t get is that we GET that he’s not gonna find a job at this point in his life that’s gonna give him a $100k-$120k/year salary. What it WILL do is give him a steady income, so that he might possibly not get a severe bleeding ulcer at 45 (and painful shingles, and early onset Alzheimer’s, and Crohn’s disease, and various other autoimmune disorders) that is exacerbated by constantly worrying about whether or not a few whales show up to drop $300 on him six days a week… Phil’s actual “job” isn’t stressful (that’s obvious), it’s the incessant daily worrying about getting paid or not. Who the fuck wants to live like that? I guess Phil likes portraying himself as the “brilliant starving artist” who would rather die than not create his art? But that’s clearly horse shit since 80% of his daily commentary is his financial issues.

 

[Forbidden Math]

Philip "I can't make it on three thousand dollars a month" Burnell

I love how he literally admitted right there that he has a spending problem.

 

[Iron Hamster]

Philip "I can't make it on three thousand dollars a month" Burnell

I love how he literally admitted right there that he has a spending problem.

Well, he conveniently leaves off the kat $1700/mo if she's still there so almost $5k/mo.
I mean.........is he reeeeeeeally going to let the bigboi condo go because she wouldn't chip in for da billz?

 

[Forbidden Math]

Well, he conveniently leaves off the kat $1700/mo if she's still there so almost $5k/mo

Worth noting too that WA state's average individual income is $35,989 per year which SURPRISE, is actually 3k a month. Dude literally said he can't live off the same money almost everyone in his state is living off (or less since that is an average).

 

[Fapcop]

DSP Recorded/Unrecorded Fall Guys - 09/07/21- $1 a month wont help but as little as $1 tip helps. ​

https://youtube.com/watch?v=wIBt9oSFj4c

You just gotta fucking love Phil’s logic here... He gets 30-40.000 views per tweet but no interaction.

Not because they’re trolls or he has them blocked. (btw: I’d fucking love to see his block list. Must be one of the largest on Twatter!) Oh noes! The lack of interaction is because they’re SCARED of the trolls!

Self pignosis is best pignosis!

 

[DSP's Tax Lawyer]

Worth noting too that WA state's average individual income is $35,989 per year which SURPRISE, is actually 3k a month. Dude literally said he can't live off the same money almost everyone in his state is living off (or less since that is an average).

Well now dood, you don't understand. *Snort* See the average individual in WA doesn't have bills to pay like electricity, mortgage, and WWE Champions so they can afford to only make 3k a month

 

[Balr0g]

Worth noting too that WA state's average individual income is $35,989 per year which SURPRISE, is actually 3k a month. Dude literally said he can't live off the same money almost everyone in his state is living off (or less since that is an average).

Well he is the King of hate. And no king will live on the level of the peasants. Funny how his detractors who have no life can actually live just fine with whatever they make. Oh right we are all kids in our mom's basement. I guess Phil is actually seeing his future whenever he rants about the kids