💼 Careercow "Daddy" Derek Savage - Creator of Cool Cat Saves the Kids

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creamyfanta said:
Does anyone have the movie? I want to watch this horse shit.
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Get your own copy of the movie; it's only $9.99—my God you can afford that. You never seen nothing like the Cool Cat Saves the Kids film, I guarantee that.
 
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And those people in the Middle East are ISIS.
 
Please forgive me if this has already been discussed in length. This is my first viewing of this masterpiece. :oops:

So, I am about a half hour in, and...
1. I am getting some SERIOUS bestiality undertones. Daddy Derek fucks Mama Cat! I guess I assumed Cool Cat had been adopted or something, but no! Unless Mama Cat is like some weird mail order bride from Catland who married Daddy Derek for a green card and brought her son with her to America.

2. The sound quality is shit. It is worse than The Room with its over dubs.

3. Mama Cat is just the Cool Cat fursuit but with lips on it or something...and I THINK it is supposed to be pregnant.

4. Since when does Cool Cat speak (and sing!) Spanish?? That came out of no where.

5. Why does every kid in this movie have a fucking speech impediment?

6. It is super creepy how the Cat family has stickers and shirts and shit of their son all over their goddamn house. It's not like a few family pictures here and there...their son's face is on literally EVERYTHING.

7. Cool Cat only has shirts that say his name and/or have pictures of his face. wut

edit:

45 minutes in:

8. Cool Cat is able to drive, which means he is AT LEAST 16. But he is hanging out with a whole bunch of little kids...that's creepy.

9. Daddy Derek is too cheap to buy fully closed eyes for Cool Cat while he is sleeping, but will get weird half-closed eyes for when Cool Cat is kicked in the face with sand.

10. I think that Cool Cat is actually retarded.

11. "You sure are one FIIINE....kitty cat, Mama Cat!" "Oh, hush up!" FUCK.

12. "Oh no! They put lies on the internet?! They should be ashamed of themselves!" ....lol

13. Vivica J Fox is wearing only purple, and it is a little much.

14. They said Cool Cat was Derek Savage's creation, but in the movie he is supposed to be his son. This means they refer to children as being the "creations" of their parents in the Cool Cat universe.

15. Getting bullied? YELL AND THREATEN THEM BACK!

16. At 47:44 or so it sounds like a fart.

17. When Cool Cat says there is a "cool running contest" I keep hearing cool "erotic contest."

18. The Mama Cat actress is really uncomfortable and keeps jiggling her legs when she is on screen.

19. The applique wall says "LIVE as though heaven is on earth..." what the hell does that even mean??

20. Cool Cat masturbation at 49:26?

edit:

21. The shitty moon image Derek used while Cool Cat is sleeping looks like a weird fucked up moon with a tumor on it where you would think the nose of the face would be.

22. Cool Cat only does 4 repetitions of each exercise. I wonder why Derek didn't have him at least go to ten?

23. Derek definitely says "God" at like 54:35: "God I just love that necklace!" I thought we were family friendly.

edit: around an hour in:
24. The gun was ridiculously close to Cool Cat's house. Is it Derek's? Who the fuck finds a random gun outside in a rich neighborhood like that?

25. Why doesn't Daddy Derek drive the kids home after they tell him about the gun? He is all freaked out and says he will drive them to school (but not their own parents?), but just lets them walk home alone immediately after Butch stole the gun.

26. "He's gonna 'vestigate it for us." Oh, southerners.

27. Cool Cat has towels with buff men in tiny swimsuits behind his bed.

28. They don't just call the police when the whole gun thing happens. Instead they run inside a school.

29. The black kid: "Ooooh, my mama's gonna whoop me!" Nice racism, Derek. And of course it is the black kid who gets picked up by the cops with Butch the Bully.

30. Mama Cat hangs out with her head basically in the microwave for an entire dialogue sequence.

31. Mama Cat has some serious neck vagina going on at 1:12:00.

32. Pretty sure the Butch the Bully accomplice changed actors from a black kid to an asian kid. And he talks about getting his ass beat by his mom...nice. Derek condones child violence. Woo!

33. What is with all this "punking" business? Ashton Kutcher had that shitty show like ten years ago. No one actually says that they are going to "punk" someone.

34. Five minutes of credits at the beginning of the movie, and five minutes at the end.

35. Nice touch having the preview for the movie at the end of the fucking movie.

Well, fuck. I did that sober. I need a drink. (:_(
 
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Anyone know where I can get the gif of the guy walking in and outta the house behind Cool Cat?
 
You should check out I Hate Everything's and Your Movie Sucks's reviews on Cool Cat when you're done with all that if you wanna sober up.
 
Hat said:
Get your own copy of the movie; it's only $9.99—my God you can afford that. You never seen nothing like the Cool Cat Saves the Kids film, I guarantee that.
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I read that in Derek's voice. If I didn't have a crappy webcam mic on me, I could do a dead on impersonation of him, accent and all.
 
creamyfanta said:
5. Why does every kid in this movie have a fucking speech impediment?

8. Cool Cat is able to drive, which means he is AT LEAST 16. But he is hanging out with a whole bunch of little kids...that's creepy.

14. They said Cool Cat was Derek Savage's creation, but in the movie he is supposed to be his son. This means they refer to children as being the "creations" of their parents in the Cool Cat universe.

24. The gun was ridiculously close to Cool Cat's house. Is it Derek's? Who the fuck finds a random gun outside in a rich neighborhood like that?
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(Parts kept in because reply)

5. I can only assume it's because Derek has no idea how non-southerners speak.

8. I always scratched my head at that. I get the feeling that YMS's theory about Cool Cat being a shut-in role play in a cat suit may be a good one. That or Derek never thought that one through. Or maybe Cool Cat's old enough in cat years, could be anything.

14. I think they meant "creation" as in "He's our birth son". But I can see why you'd get confused.

24. Great, now I'm imagining Cool Cat chewing out Daddy about the gun being in their backyard.
 
I don't think Derek Savage lives in California. I think he lives in Las Vegas. At least, I remember reading that somewhere (his website maybe?) while looking into him after I saw IHE's Cool Cat videos.
 
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