Crypto company deathwatch thread

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Tealeaf said:
When even the youtuber take is “sultry wood nymph based finance” you know it’s going to be so retarded you’re going to have difficulty believing it.
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You act like you don't have a stash full of rareolines that you break out in moments of weakness
 
I'll say it once, I'll say twice. Any American (or any foreign person with respect to their own country of residence) that puts money in a non American company is asking to get fucked. Atleast with coinbase, I can threaten to litigate when it comes to funds. Doesn't mean it will do jack shit, but atleast there is *SOME* governing force they have to answer to.

As days turn into weeks, I'll bet my house that it turns out the "hacker" is the CEO himself. Good luck getting your money back from a dude hiding in the Bahamas.
 
Nol 2 said:
You act like you don't have a stash full of rareolines that you break out in moments of weakness
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I may be a moralizing hypocrite and I may or may not have a stable of homely women roleplaying various creatures of myth on call, but I don’t claim to run a serious financial institution.
 
See thats your downfall @Tealeaf, just a larper like Caroline. You have to spiritually and physically embody the tree nymph. That is truly how the other half lives. The only way that you would be able to run a billion dollar exchange, ponzi it to the ground and still think you did it for the good of the world is to be on that Hyperborean plane.
 
BillTheButcher said:
I'll say it once, I'll say twice. Any American (or any foreign person with respect to their own country of residence) that puts money in a non American company is asking to get fucked. Atleast with coinbase, I can threaten to litigate when it comes to funds. Doesn't mean it will do jack shit, but atleast there is *SOME* governing force they have to answer to.

As days turn into weeks, I'll bet my house that it turns out the "hacker" is the CEO himself. Good luck getting your money back from a dude hiding in the Bahamas.
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Funny you bring up Coinbase. A friend of mine sent me a screenshot of this email she got yesterday (cropped and posted like this to remove her info):
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Nol 2 said:
See thats your downfall @Tealeaf, just a larper like Caroline. You have to spiritually and physically embody the tree nymph. That is truly how the other half lives. The only way that you would be able to run a billion dollar exchange, ponzi it to the ground and still think you did it for the good of the world is to be on that Hyperborean plane.
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If I was a real tree nymph, I would not reveal the fact on online forums. No, you can’t get root photos.
 
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George Floyd said:
That was my first thought. The company is a dumpster fire anyway, pretend you got hacked and exfiltrate whatever's left via sidechannels. Keep a low profile and cash out when the dust is settled.
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It's all just too conveniant of timing. Unless a L33T "hacker" has been sitting on this backdoor for a minute like in that one NFT app (opensea), i dont see how SBF hands are clean.. That being said, industry sources are already theorizing that whoever did it, had in-house experience. He always could have paid someone to pull it off.
 
BillTheButcher said:
I'll say it once, I'll say twice. Any American (or any foreign person with respect to their own country of residence) that puts money in a non American company is asking to get fucked. Atleast with coinbase, I can threaten to litigate when it comes to funds. Doesn't mean it will do jack shit, but atleast there is *SOME* governing force they have to answer to.
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Yeah but there are no funds left to litigate about...
swiss, liechtensteiner and Maltese banks are much safer. they have way to much dirty money from people that will kill without remorse to play ponzy games....
No banker is stupid enough to risk a banks healthy by gambling if the bank holds a couple hundred million $ for the mob....
 
Sam Bankman-fried is like the stereotypical rich guy in america and as someone who has hung out with these people before I can confirm three things:
1. They always wear hobo attire for whatever reason
2. They eat shitty food like rock bottom standards that are way below a working class american
3. They have no idea how to operate basic utilities in their household. They can't load a fucking dishwasher or empty out a vacuum cleaner.
 
Crypto.com is likely the next domino to fall.

nitter.net

foobar (@0xfoobar)

a short story
nitter.net nitter.net

Users are complaining that Binance is/have been freezing withdrawals of Monero (and possibly other altcoins) very regularly.

I suppose it still needs to be said: Use DEX, not CEX. The USD you leave in exchanges may be protected by law, but not cryptos. I doubt this problem will exist in places like Bisq.
 
(((Oban Lazcano Kamz))) said:
Coinbase better not pull some gay shit when I try and cash out.
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Crypto.com is supposed to be next in the firing line, after it has been discovered that a large percentage of their holdings is in shitcoins. Tweet (archive)

shitcoins.png

FTX might have stolen a billion dollars from them. Tweet / archive

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Meanwhile, BlockFi is probably fucked as apparently FTX demanded to take over its funds as part of the 'rescue package' earlier this year. Sam Bankman-Fried might have been laundering money for the Democrats after donating millions to them very recently.

It's all going a bit crazy out there.
 
Matthew Williams said:
I suppose it still needs to be said: Use DEX, not CEX. The USD you leave in exchanges may be protected by law, but not cryptos. I doubt this problem will exist in places like Bisq.
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I've used dex's for years, but they are also not a silver bullet. You trade the risks of insolvency and less than stellar fiduciary duty for higher fees and hacks + shenanigans of all sorts.

And no ones solved the fiat ramps to use them exclusively yet.
 
Nol 2 said:
I've used dex's for years, but they are also not a silver bullet. You trade the risks of insolvency and less than stellar fiduciary duty for higher fees and hacks + shenanigans of all sorts.

And no ones solved the fiat ramps to use them exclusively yet.
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What DEXs have you had problems with? Are they really worse than CEX? I suppose they're not all the same but compared to Binance freezinh funds and following KYC, they'd have to be pretty bad.
 
Matthew Williams said:
What DEXs have you had problems with? Are they really worse than CEX? I suppose they're not all the same but compared to Binance freezinh funds and following KYC, they'd have to be pretty bad.
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None, but that doesn't mean I'm ignorant of the issues with them.

Smart contract hacks and oracle exploits are regular enough occurrences that most places get hit by one or the other at some point. You also have MEV (Miner Extractable Value) which is functionally front running as a service and most of the big players really don't like to talk about it (especially with the current Eth 2.0 upgrade really making it a thing). Oh and while the exchange won't go down due to "congestion" you will get the perk of paying $500+ per tx if shit is really crashing (like, when LUNA imploded this spring)

Its not better or worse, its more 6 in one hand, half dozen in the other. Pick the set of BS you want to deal with. Like I said, I haven't used a cex for my trading in years now.

Also, go https://revoke.cash/ to check and revoke your eth permissions if you don't know to do that regularly. Other sites can do it too if you dont want to use the one I just linked, but if a place has permissions to use your funds, they have permission to use your funds if they get breached.

Oh, and providing liquidity is a fools game unless you are looking at a stack of 6 figs or more. You wont recoup what you spend in gas costs / IL
 
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