Crazy Christians

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Most if not all of these people are not Christians they call themselves Christians but for the most part fundamentalists are what most traditional branches would call heresy.

The church originally was one body (chalcedony) that due to many political events (fall of the western empire, the formation of the Holy Roman Empire, Papal investiture etc) lead to the great schism of 1054 (which was really two small schisms) which broke Christianity into two camps (Eastern orthodox led by the patriarch of Constantinople) in the eastern roman empire now modern day turkey and (Roman Catholic led by the pope in Rome)

In the East more branches broke out from the original patriarchies (Coptic in Egypt which still survives to this day) and Nestorian in the far east Persia north India.

During the Middle ages a few Heresies emerged that would sow the seeds of the reformation even though they were stamped out. Cathar, Lollard, etc

So a guy named Martin Luther comes by 1500ish and starts the reformation (Protestant meaning to protest the western church which they viewed as corrupt. Thoug ironicly the Eastern church gave them little support.

So now you have Western, Eastern, Protestant (Lutheran and Church of England)

Then a guy named Calvin comes by preaching of predestination and Christianity starts to really break apart.

So now we have the new world and people going there and starting crazy branches (the puritans got kicked out of England for being to stuffy go figure) and without any regulation fundamentalists take over with little regard to traditions etc mistranslations run amok and with no centralization Heresy runs rampant.

now you have people who say they are Christians but do not understand what Christians really are. The Fundamentalist will find one quote in the bible and hang onto it like a dog and a shoe for example the rapture most branches that are true do not recognize it because its only mentioned in one small paragraph.

God hates gays (old testament not new)

Old testament = torah (jewish holy books)

New Testament = Christian theology created at the council of Nicea under supervision of the roman emperor.

See the Romans did not want fundamentalism so they kept it on the DL at the council it was not until much later that Fundamentalism was born again in the new world.

So to call these people Christians is really not true they may call themselves Christians but i doubt they really understand what true Christianity is the closest around now is probably Ethiopian orthodox or Coptic.

Yes i left a lot out as i could write volumes on this.

And to say other religions do not have there own crazy is not true i could write volumes on Judaism and Islam and even Buddhism (though to a much lesser extent) we only here about the Christians because we see more western news then anything.

And no im not a christian im an atheist (tips fedora) :) Im just a history freak.

TldR fundies are not real Christians to orthodoxy standards

P>S look up jack chick the man is a crazy riot
 
My friends and i used to have a game of who could collect the most chick comics. Rules were simple,

you could not buy them or get them from his website.

You had to find them or trade them if you had a double. Sad to say i lost my collection in the move :(

We always wanted to dramatically reenact them.
 
Would this be an appropriate moment for me to bring up the time my mother subjected me to multiple exorcisms until I eventually moved out and didn't speak to her for six years?
 
The Knife said:
Would this be an appropriate moment for me to bring up the time my mother subjected me to multiple exorcisms until I eventually moved out and didn't speak to her for six years?
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That would be appropriate. Did she really think you tried to turn your head like an owl while wielding a knife? Tasteless sounding joke to cinema aside, did your mother regret those exorcisms after the six years?
 
Butta Face Lopez said:
There's this religion called "Islam" you might wanna look into, if that's something you actually believe.
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'Lolcow' not 'religious militant order' which is their fringe, nut group. There's nothing really funny about a guy blowing people up. Or there is. Who knows.
 
c-no said:
That would be appropriate. Did she really think you tried to turn your head like an owl while wielding a knife? Tasteless sounding joke to cinema aside, did your mother regret those exorcisms after the six years?
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Nope! She doesn't regret it to this day, which makes any life achievements really annoying because she still congratulates herself on "saving" me.

I think I've mentioned a few times on this board that Barb reminds me quite a lot of my mother. She was very pathologically needy, helpless, and very much in need of someone to validate her existence. Basically, I turned into a teenager and started being interesting in having friends and freedom and an after-school job and she went nuts. When I ended up meeting a guy at my job--which I had to go behind her back to get--she went even nutsier: she accused the guy of being into devil worship, of trying to impregnate me so that we could sacrifice the baby to Satan (I was at that point still a virgin), of talking me into having group sex with him and all his friends, and of conspiring to murder her. When our A/C went tits-up and nearly set the house on fire, she twisted the story and told her family that I had tried to set fire to her bed while she was asleep. She also told them that I'd tried to run her over with the car one night when she sat on my hood to keep me from going to work. To this day, I have relatives who still bring up all those times I tried to kill my mother.

One day while I was at school, my mother brought over a pair of self-proclaimed Christian demonologists. They apparently looked at my photograph and declared that my "aura" was black with demons. I came home to find my room reduced to a bare mattress on the floor. My relatives--who by the way are also crazy--recommended a fundamentalist church that met in the back room of a Christian bookstore and performed exorcisms.

One woman I remember was possessed with "the demon of overeating." The church all laid hands on this woman and began to speak in tongues over her. The woman started vomiting uncontrollably and wouldn't stop. Another woman was allegedly possessed by many demons. During her exorcism, she began biting open her own wrists. Needless to say, I freaked out and ran for the nearest payphone but was bodily dragged, kicking and screaming for help, back into the church. My desire to call paramedics was explained as my "demons" trying to protect this other woman's demons. While I didn't see it personally, I heard that the group also successfully exorcised a two-year-old baby whose demons made her have temper tantrums and caused her to speak in "demonic languages."

Literally everything I said or did was interpreted as my "demons" speaking through me. Even when I tried to do a turn-around and pretend I'd seen the light and accepted Jesus as my lord and savior, this was interpreted as something a lot of demon-possessed people to avoid having their demons cast out. My turn was coming any day now and needless to say, I was kind of freaking out about it.

I think I went through six or eight exorcisms, which--physically--weren't that bad. They anointed my head with holy oil and prayed over me and spoke in tongues and laid hands on me and of course I just sat there feeling scared but otherwise unaffected. This, of course, was interpreted as me having some really, really tough demons. The Christian demonologist couple came back and did a fast and eventually delivered my mother a list of the names of the demons that were possessing me. She was encouraged to call me by those names whenever she suspected that she was dealing with a demon instead of her daughter...so of course, she called me by those names all the time.

It was summer, so I couldn't tell school authorities. Pre-internet, so once the phone was taken away (and she kept that phone on her all the time) I couldn't contact anyone. She told the neighbors I was undergoing rehab and that they shouldn't let me use their phones because I was trying to buy drugs, and called my job to tell them I quit. Fortunately, I was seventeen, I had just graduated high school, and I was allowed to leave the house to register for college. While I was out, I set up a savings account and arranged to have my student loan money sent to it. As soon as the money hit the account, I basically ran and didn't tell anyone where I was for six years. Then I figured I might as well let someone know I got married.
 
GrandNumberOfPounds said:
:o holy crap (no pun intended) - I'm sorry you had to go through that

That is crazy - no offense, but those people need to be locked up.
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It's okay! This was literally twenty years ago for me. I had nightmares and stayed angry for years, but the worst of it's gone. I did have to step in and threaten some people with my dark unholy magic powers last year when it looked like a young cousin was about to get the same treatment. Her crime? Wanting to take a Japanese language class.
 
GrandNumberOfPounds said:
:o holy crap (no pun intended) - I'm sorry you had to go through that

That is crazy - no offense, but those people need to be locked up.
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I'd say that as a Christian, I kinda feel some shame but then again, all I feel is anger at these people. I understand that hey, maybe some of these people do care of those who are "possessed" but their ignorance only makes it worst since they think a guy having a seizure means he must be possessed by a demon from a toilet. As for these "demonologist", the fact they say they are self-proclaimed makes me feel they could be less crazy and more of con-artist. Regardless, what The Knife posted sickens me since this sort of thing happened in The Knife's life. Hoenstly, whether or not one can debate the existance of demons, I'm sure the metaphorical demons exist. The kind that basically eats you away, the kind that haunts you like a bad memory. The kind that exist as some kind of smugness in blaming others. The kind that can be a mental illness. Really, I'd honestly wish bronydom was filled to the brim with sperging and spaghetti than Christianity having this sort of problem since the latter I'm sure can be more life threatening than a fat neckbeard obsessing over rainbow vomit colored horses.

The Knife said:
It's okay! This was literally twenty years ago for me. I had nightmares and stayed angry for years, but the worst of it's gone. I did have to step in and threaten some people with my dark unholy magic powers last year when it looked like a young cousin was about to get the same treatment. Her crime? Wanting to take a Japanese language class.
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All I can say is good for you in defending your cousin. Really, trying to perform exorcism because someone wants to learn a foreign language. Does that mean anything non-English is of the devil?
 
I honestly don't think it had anything to do with the Japanese language itself (although Japanese is of course Oriental and they don't believe in Jesus over there so there's something faintly suspicious about it all). I think it was the same problem I had as a teen: that the cousin was prepared to dig in her heels and fight to do something she really wanted to do, ignoring her elders and betters in the process. That kind of determination is terrifying to control freaks, even when it's being put toward something completely innocent.

I believe the kind of exorcisms this "church" offered were ineffective on any spiritual level, but that kind of physical and emotional control is very effective in breaking the will of the person being exorcised. You have no idea what behavior you're supposed to be displaying to make this stop, any behavior you do display is twisted into further evidence that you're being acted upon by evil forces, and eventually you're too exhausted for independent thought. When you're docile, you're cured.
 
I've seen from personal experience how religion can be manipulative and the physical and emotional control it can have on people, but I've never heard about at this level.
 
A-Stump said:
I laughed way too hard every time the black guy was randomly sounding the ox horn. Also, the Smurfs are satanic and Papa Smurf is the face of Stalin. That's a new one :lol:
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yea i'd loose it at the horn every time
 
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