Craigslist Cringe Thread

[POWER IN MISERY]

View attachment 218681 View attachment 218682
There was a big pic of jizz there, but I figured it was still fucked up enough without it.

holy shit that's nasty. is it even possible to take a cum dab?

 

[Morose_Obesity]

Rentboy Hooker wanted: https://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/etc/6132109200.html

 

[The Great Citracett]

Oh nothing to see here folks, just another dog fucker.

 

[From The Uncanny Valley]

Oh nothing to see here folks, just another dog fucker.
View attachment 221630

@TranLord

 

[GethPrime]

holy shit

 

[The Great Citracett]

This was posted in the local news and community events section:

And this is totally not just a guy wanting to stroke it to your feet:

 

[UptownRuckus]

The original has been taken down, but luckily someone had the foresight to save this beauty. I fall outside the age ranges, any gals want to take him up on this? Free beef jerky in it for you!!
http://web.archive.org/web/20170105213412/https://losangeles.craigslist.org/wst/tix/5946183119.html

I feel like I've seen this one before. It is a real gem

 

[The Great Citracett]

Here's the longest, spergiest thing I've found in a long time.
Holy shit that formatting, that punctuation, that... everything. Wow.

The autism is strong with this one. I can feel a bit of classic CWC in there.
He's posted before but it wasn't quite so insane. He posts in different areas, so there's no telling how many of these he's made.

Spoiler: More incoherent sperging

Also, those pics...

Spoiler: Couldn't resist

Guy seems almost threadworthy.

 

[giga]

This is an old one but a good one.

 

[The Great Citracett]

 

[fishercat]

 

[Dick In a Drawer]

The most ridiculous posts i've seen on craigslist are these guys who believe they'll find someone that they made eye contact on the subway. their thought process isn't to talk to simply talk to the person when they see them but instead to later post about it on craigslist in hopes that the same exact person will see it. Even if that person sees this post, the guys' descriptions of themselves and the person they saw are so fucking vague i doubt the person reading it would even be able to figure out it's about them if they were the subject of these posts

 

[The Great Citracett]

I couldn't help but read that in Borat's voice. And is his name Mike, or Marc? So many questions.

 

[CatFace]

View attachment 242014
I couldn't help but read that in Borat's voice. And is his name Mike, or Marc? So many questions.

Free sports massage $100 bucks

 

[kcbbq]

Free sports massage $100 bucks

It's no eggageration, whatever that means.

 

[RJ MacReady]

Free sports massage $100 bucks

NO HAGGLE

 

[Yaks]

Homeowner definitely does not have cameras hidden in the house / will not murder you and use your skin as a suit to entertain his cats.

 

[The Great Citracett]

Speaking of people who totally don't have hidden cameras...

ALIENS_EAT YOU

YOU ARE THE HOUSE ALIENS WOULD LOVE TO LIVE IN

 

[lil thotty]

well i'm just going to leave this here..
https://pensacola.craigslist.org/roo/d/house-near-forest-oaks-plaza/6231959798.html
http://archive.is/QaDUL

$250 House near Forest Oaks Plaza (Pensacola)
533 B Corday St
(google map)

Hi. I'm a Single, divorced white male with blonde hair, and a beard that is a Priest and Minister that was written about in the Bible before evil translators removed my name. My house is my Church and I am God's only real Priest and Minister. I recently raised a girl from the dead a 3rd time after she was dead 3 weeks and have healed people and exorcised Satan and demons. I was married 7 years to a very beautiful woman. In a separate Personals Ad I will create I will be searching for a beautiful woman and adult girl to date and marry. My house is big and the person that lives with me can live in the bedroom with me which is being if it is a woman or in the living room of the house. I also recently thought the hot water heater gas turned on and I do have hot water now. The bathroom is connected through a hallway from my bedroom and from the living room and it has a door that you can shut for privacy. You will share the kitchen with me and you may need to purchase a refrigerator. I have a microwave oven and a stove that you can cook on that I will share with you and also a crock pot. I get food stamps. I am retired. I can share one or two portable tables and chairs with you but have no bed for you. You can bring your own bed and or buy an air mattress and I have a pump to Pump It Up. They are cheap. I have a small very light flat screen TV connected to a very big antenna and converter box in my bedroom with a long cable on it and I get free TV service this way and pick up TV stations mainly from Mobile Alabama and get some stations from Pensacola Florida where I live. And I get from 28 to 32 Channel and several news channels movie channels and religious channels and history type channels. There is no charge for TV service except if you have your own TV I will need to purchase a converter box for your TV and some cable for the TV that is long enough to reach my antenna in my room and so I would charge you for that about 50 to $70. If you are a woman you can watch TV with me and my bedroom or in the kitchen when I go in there. I have a lawn mower to cut my grass and you will need to pay for half of the lawn mower gas and half of the electric utility bill and I'm only charging $250 or rent. I, Johm am not a gay man and am a heterosexual man and have never had sex with a man and I'm not attracted sexually to men. There are two houses at my address which my landlord owns and my house is the house behind the house on the road and there are 2 mailboxes at my location and the one not mine at the front on the road is 533 corday Street Pensacola Florida 32503 which is the house at the road and my house is behind it and my address is 533 B corday Street Pensacola Florida 32503 and there are 2 mailboxes at this location and one mailbox just says 533(not mine) and then there's a mailbox a few feet up Corday St that has this on it "533 B John S B" on it. And passed it a little way about 15 feet past box that 533 on it and to the left of my box, 533 B John S B is a dirt and gravel road that goes down behind the first house on the road to my house to the end of the road about 50 ft down the road and it is a green house with my number on the house 533b and there is a fence around my house and there is a mobile home park in front of my house and there are a lot of Christmas trees around my house and it is a very nice neighborhood and very quiet place and nobody bothers me here.

• do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers

Spoiler: a lot of very grim images

 

[The Great Citracett]

well i'm just going to leave this here..
https://pensacola.craigslist.org/roo/d/house-near-forest-oaks-plaza/6231959798.html
http://archive.is/QaDUL

$250 House near Forest Oaks Plaza (Pensacola)
533 B Corday St
(google map)

Hi. I'm a Single, divorced white male with blonde hair, and a beard that is a Priest and Minister that was written about in the Bible before evil translators removed my name. My house is my Church and I am God's only real Priest and Minister. I recently raised a girl from the dead a 3rd time after she was dead 3 weeks and have healed people and exorcised Satan and demons. I was married 7 years to a very beautiful woman. In a separate Personals Ad I will create I will be searching for a beautiful woman and adult girl to date and marry. My house is big and the person that lives with me can live in the bedroom with me which is being if it is a woman or in the living room of the house. I also recently thought the hot water heater gas turned on and I do have hot water now. The bathroom is connected through a hallway from my bedroom and from the living room and it has a door that you can shut for privacy. You will share the kitchen with me and you may need to purchase a refrigerator. I have a microwave oven and a stove that you can cook on that I will share with you and also a crock pot. I get food stamps. I am retired. I can share one or two portable tables and chairs with you but have no bed for you. You can bring your own bed and or buy an air mattress and I have a pump to Pump It Up. They are cheap. I have a small very light flat screen TV connected to a very big antenna and converter box in my bedroom with a long cable on it and I get free TV service this way and pick up TV stations mainly from Mobile Alabama and get some stations from Pensacola Florida where I live. And I get from 28 to 32 Channel and several news channels movie channels and religious channels and history type channels. There is no charge for TV service except if you have your own TV I will need to purchase a converter box for your TV and some cable for the TV that is long enough to reach my antenna in my room and so I would charge you for that about 50 to $70. If you are a woman you can watch TV with me and my bedroom or in the kitchen when I go in there. I have a lawn mower to cut my grass and you will need to pay for half of the lawn mower gas and half of the electric utility bill and I'm only charging $250 or rent. I, Johm am not a gay man and am a heterosexual man and have never had sex with a man and I'm not attracted sexually to men. There are two houses at my address which my landlord owns and my house is the house behind the house on the road and there are 2 mailboxes at my location and the one not mine at the front on the road is 533 corday Street Pensacola Florida 32503 which is the house at the road and my house is behind it and my address is 533 B corday Street Pensacola Florida 32503 and there are 2 mailboxes at this location and one mailbox just says 533(not mine) and then there's a mailbox a few feet up Corday St that has this on it "533 B John S B" on it. And passed it a little way about 15 feet past box that 533 on it and to the left of my box, 533 B John S B is a dirt and gravel road that goes down behind the first house on the road to my house to the end of the road about 50 ft down the road and it is a green house with my number on the house 533b and there is a fence around my house and there is a mobile home park in front of my house and there are a lot of Christmas trees around my house and it is a very nice neighborhood and very quiet place and nobody bothers me here.

• do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers

Spoiler: a lot of very grim images

That guy's got his very own thread here, also he's a registered sex offender:
http://offender.fdle.state.fl.us/offender/flyer.do?personId=82743