Constipated in the Dark Web

[Epic Fail Man]

My bowels are moving just as slow as this website. Anyone know any black market cures for a cursed case of constipation here in the Torsphere?

 

[Lord of the Large Pants]

From the topic title I assumed this would be an announcement of a new novelty comedy music album by Sam Hyde.

 

[Grub]

 

[Blouie]

Eat spicy food to flush bowels

 

[I've Seen Some Shit]

Two teaspoons of olive oil, teaspoon of apple cider vinegar, chase it all down with two shots of apple juice or Juicy Juice's "Fruit Punch" mix.
You'll shit your soul out.

 

[Epic Fail Man]

View attachment 3685649

Eat spicy food to flush bowels

Two teaspoons of olive oil, teaspoon of apple cider vinegar, chase it all down with two shots of apple juice or Juicy Juice's "Fruit Punch" mix.
You'll shit your soul out.

None of these options are illegal.

 

[I've Seen Some Shit]

I'm clearnet-posting through the .top domain so I don't need to be illegal. if it needs to be illegal then smoke some crack and use an enema.

 

[I am vomit]

Meth enemas probably work

 

[murph]

Coffee as a drink or as an enema is effective.

 

[SCSI]

I don't see any post marked as an answer yet after two days, so I'm definitely getting a little concerned for @Epic Fail Man 's anus.

 

[Epic Fail Man]

I don't see any post marked as an answer yet after two days, so I'm definitely getting a little concerned for @Epic Fail Man 's anus.

No, I pooped.

 

[Suburban Bastard]

I'm clearnet-posting through the .top domain

That's gotta be a record for "didn't age well"

 

[Useful_Mistake]

No, I pooped.

What illegal method did you use?

 

[I've Seen Some Shit]

That's gotta be a record for "didn't age well"

That domain was dogshit and I regretted using it for all of the ten minutes it actually worked.

 

[TakeSoma]

Regarding the web site speed on TOR, please remember that although any access through TOR network is inherently slower than through clearnet - due to all the routing and relaying, there are many other factors such as ongoing DDOS both on TOR and clearnet, Null changing setup, etc.

One thing that sometimes works for me is asking for new TOR circuits. I don't know if this is available for users that connect to TOR through Brave, but it is for the regular TOR browser (Menu->New TOR circuit for this site). Give it a try.

As for your bowels, I've heard that TacoBell or Chipotle are guaranteed to take care of any constipation.

 

[Doji]

You just have to use meditation to slow your metabolism to the point that slow feels fast. It takes practice.

 

[Epic Fail Man]

Never mind we are kinda in the clear web again. I'm just drinking coffee to help myself poop now.

 

[Xanax and Wine]

I hear sugar-free Haribo gummy bears work great. Those things are probably illegal by now

 

[Moths]

Never mind we are kinda in the clear web again. I'm just drinking coffee to help myself poop now.

Performance enhancing drugs, the most illegal form of digestive doping