Consoomers / Consoomer Culture - Because if it has a recogniseable brand on it, I’d buy it!

[Yaks]

The desperation for social attention is massive.

I think the desperation for socialization in general is a key issue for some. There aren't really in-person clubs anymore unless you enjoy things like bicycling. And even then those types of clubs are significantly fewer than a couple decades ago. Everything is online, everything is a solo endeavor in person. We don't have the social meeting spaces we used to. It's all online. If you want to be noticed online, unless it's a niche community forum (which also don't exist anymore really) you have to make an impression. Sadly you don't really make friends on places like reddit and twitter. And even then it isn't the same as in person socialization even for the most introverted.

The funkos will keep you company, friend.

 

[Athena Loves Kiwis]

Any former Hallmark ornament fans? My mother and I still carry on a childhood Christmas tradition where we pick out a special Christmas ornament each year, usually from Hallmark stores. The brand was always an example of consoom. It annoyed me when I was little that you could only get the best and prettiest exclusive ornaments by paying extra to be a superspecial Hallmark Gold Crown Collector's Club Member and ordering through their catalogue and I knew then that there were these Hallmark superfan whales who would buy every one of the dozens of ornaments they put out every year like proto-Funko cultists because the catalogue had pre-mainstream internet pictures of them with their collections. But as we continued this tradition things got much worse as more and more of the ornaments became officially branded tie-ins until 95% of the collection every year is pop culture trash.

The past:



The present:



And, yes, they even sunk low enough to have a whole line of Funko Pop ornaments for the last three years:

https://corporate.hallmark.com/news-article/hallmark-and-funko-join-forces-to-launch-funko-pop-ornaments/

This brand used to be aimed at the older, female crowd who bought Hummel, Precious Moments, collector's plates, as seen on TV commemorative coins, and those figurines sold in newspaper inserts that were things like The Noble American Eagle. Did all the grandmas die off so Hallmark had to sell out this badly? If the whales are still buying, it's some sort of old/new consoom singularity. God, everything is so homogenized now.

 

[glass_houses]

Any former Hallmark ornament fans? My mother and I still carry on a childhood Christmas tradition where we pick out a special Christmas ornament each year, usually from Hallmark stores. The brand was always an example of consoom. It annoyed me when I was little that you could only get the best and prettiest exclusive ornaments by paying extra to be a superspecial Hallmark Gold Crown Collector's Club Member and ordering through their catalogue and I knew then that there were these Hallmark superfan whales who would buy every one of the dozens of ornaments they put out every year like proto-Funko cultists because the catalogue had pre-mainstream internet pictures of them with their collections. But as we continued this tradition things got much worse as more and more of the ornaments became officially branded tie-ins until 95% of the collection every year is pop culture trash.

The past:

View attachment 5504706

The present:

View attachment 5504707

And, yes, they even sunk low enough to have a whole line of Funko Pop ornaments for the last three years:

View attachment 5504708

https://corporate.hallmark.com/news-article/hallmark-and-funko-join-forces-to-launch-funko-pop-ornaments/

This brand used to be aimed at the older, female crowd who bought Hummel, Precious Moments, collector's plates, as seen on TV commemorative coins, and those figurines sold in newspaper inserts that were things like The Noble American Eagle. Did all the grandmas die off so Hallmark had to sell out this badly? If the whales are still buying, it's some sort of old/new consoom singularity. God, everything is so homogenized now.

Hallmark started peddling ornaments in my country a few years back. They're all just incredibly expensive, badly made and painted plastic. Most of the time I can get a handmade glass ornament for the same price (not including postage). The Hallmark ornaments cost cents to make, it's the fact that they're all pop culture shit that makes them sell, not because they're good.

 

[The Feline Solution]

Buzzfeed has changed the "Shopping" part of their menu to "Gift Ideas"
View attachment 5459411

Let's see how Shoppy is holding up.
View attachment 5459487
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Seeing Shoppy groveling warms my cold heart. It sounds like some incompetent, foreign underling trying to ingratiate itself with its new master. And failing miserably.

I'm so angry that Carnivale got the "killed after 2 seasons"

My nigga. I still cope by saying "The show was just too ahead of its time".

 

[Cuntspiracy Man]

Seeing Shoppy groveling warms my cold heart. It sounds like some incompetent, foreign underling trying to ingratiate itself with its new master. And failing miserably.

>implying it's not acually some indian pretending to be AI because that'll appeal to the masses more
everyone is so sick of telemarketers now but seem to love this "oh mah gawd the machine knows what i want!" shit
whats the likelyhood that actual people, well, let's be honest, probably foreign immigrants paid in pennies and punches on their punchout tickets on the way towards earning that visa, are gonna be made to chat with consumers and say they're AI

 

[Wood Logger]

And, yes, they even sunk low enough to have a whole line of Funko Pop ornaments for the last three years:

Did you sink even lower to buy them? If so, you should consider killing yourself.

 

[Athena Loves Kiwis]

Did you sink even lower to buy them? If so, you should consider killing yourself.

Lol, you think I want my tree to look like this?

Spoiler: Not in My Name, Motherfuckers!

Edit: Oh, God, I went on archive.org and looked at an old Hallmark collector's guide. The oldtimer whales were weirder than I thought. They had conventions! Who likes mass-produced ornaments that much!?

Spoiler: Whales

https://archive.org/details/hallmarkkeepsake0000scro/page/n199/mode/2up

 

[RainbowStarlight]

So, this Alexandria Rodriguez belongs in the death fats area of KF, but also fits right in here too. Her excessive hauls are off the charts. Watching a few shopping with her videos makes me wonder how much money on useless garage she spends on a month. And it seems like every year for Christmas she goes full out on the decorations but buys entirely new shit by each year.

 

[David Glowie]

This brand used to be aimed at the older, female crowd who bought Hummel, Precious Moments, collector's plates, as seen on TV commemorative coins, and those figurines sold in newspaper inserts that were things like The Noble American Eagle. Did all the grandmas die off so Hallmark had to sell out this badly?

Yes, it's the Dead Boomer Stuff Event Horizon. That particular aesthetic is only popular with a generation who are either dying or HEAVILY downsizing. The very few younger people who like things like that (instead of say, Live-Laugh-Love stuff or pop culture kitsch like Funkos) can pick up all they want on Ebay. Ebay really did a number on the going rates for "collectibles" because it's clear that there's a glut of the stuff, and most of it isn't rare.

 

[WelperHelper99]

I think the desperation for socialization in general is a key issue for some. There aren't really in-person clubs anymore unless you enjoy things like bicycling. And even then those types of clubs are significantly fewer than a couple decades ago. Everything is online, everything is a solo endeavor in person. We don't have the social meeting spaces we used to. It's all online. If you want to be noticed online, unless it's a niche community forum (which also don't exist anymore really) you have to make an impression. Sadly you don't really make friends on places like reddit and twitter. And even then it isn't the same as in person socialization even for the most introverted.

The funkos will keep you company, friend.

There are a few meetups still, if you like cosplay, you have conventions which I enjoy personally, but generally you're right. Unless you're doing something big, no one wants to leave the house to see your funkos.

 

[David Glowie]

There are a few meetups still, if you like cosplay, you have conventions which I enjoy personally, but generally you're right. Unless you're doing something big, no one wants to leave the house to see your funkos.

Well, if you like doing nerd stuff, tabletop RPGs are still going strong. And if you like doing consoomy nerd stuff, Warhammer and Magic: the Gathering are right there!

 

[WelperHelper99]

Well, if you like doing nerd stuff, tabletop RPGs are still going strong. And if you like doing consoomy nerd stuff, Warhammer and Magic: the Gathering are right there!

The main difference between those and a funko collection I think is a personal touch. Those Warhammer minis are special because someone put them together and chose them specifically for that army. The average consoomer only collects random junk that can't even be used practically

 

[Keith the Horse Fucker]

As

Very true. I’m sure we all know someone who talks a lot about their “collection” of what-have-you but you never hear them talk about what they DO with it. And hell, just talking about your collections all the time reads like you’re desperate for external validation. Even if you’re not doing anything but collecting shiny objects, you don’t need to get asspats from everyone around you for it.

as a kid of the 90s, I remember when cd collections were very important. And part of it was it show to others and a representation of who you were (not too dissimilar to book collections before), but i also played the hell oit of my cds. I loved the music. And i often did so alone. With the removal of physical media, the perceived value of music is basically null now.

Not really sure what my point is. Just some observations i guess

 

[David Glowie]

The main difference between those and a funko collection I think is a personal touch. Those Warhammer minis are special because someone put them together and chose them specifically for that army. The average consoomer only collects random junk that can't even be used practically

I agree! And mini painting is definitely a skill. But if someone did want to combine nerdy consuming with leaving the house to meet people, there are hobbies that cover that.

 

[Yaks]

There are a few meetups still, if you like cosplay, you have conventions which I enjoy personally, but generally you're right. Unless you're doing something big, no one wants to leave the house to see your funkos.

I don't think I'd consider a convention, unless you're very personable and can make new friends easily in strange settings, any different than say going to the mall and calling that a social connection. Most people come there in a small group, or even alone, and stick to that group. Cosplayers maybe get a little more interaction, but from what I've seen as a complete outsider they tend to keep to small groups of friends as well, then pose for photo ops at the con itself.

Tabletop I can see as a social group activity, but I can also see groups hard to get into that are good and aren't filled with the lunatics that think Orcs are black people stand ins.

 

[WelperHelper99]

I don't think I'd consider a convention, unless you're very personable and can make new friends easily in strange settings, any different than say going to the mall and calling that a social connection. Most people come there in a small group, or even alone, and stick to that group. Cosplayers maybe get a little more interaction, but from what I've seen as a complete outsider they tend to keep to small groups of friends as well, then pose for photo ops at the con itself.

I'll say this on the cosplay side; it's less about what you're getting and what you're giving. Your job is to be part of the con. People take lots of pictures, and generally, you need to act your part. It's exhausting for me because mine is a vehicle type cosplay, fucking big, plus side, people remember you. And then The fun part is bringing your friends and seeing what they can mash together last minute. It's a lot of work, you spend all year for one to three days of payoff, people don't ask your name, you're literally just your cosplay, but at the same time... it makes you feel high as a kite.

Tabletop I can see as a social group activity, but I can also see groups hard to get into that are good and aren't filled with the lunatics that think Orcs are black people stand ins.

Eh. Really if you just have a few buddies like I did, it isn't much of a issue to get a game started.

 

[The Great Citracett]

Do you consoom it?
Or does it consoom you?


I actually just checked that out, because I was curious how much one costs, and to maybe make a Citracett one for a joke avatar.

Options are incredibly limited and generic, so no Citracett for me. But there actually is the option to just use it as a free Funkopop avatar maker, because apparently there's a demand for that.

The things cost $30 each, but for an extra $8 they'll throw in a plastic cube to keep your box pristine. Insane.

 

[Tootsie Bear]

Do you consoom it?
Or does it consoom you?
View attachment 5510109

I actually just checked that out, because I was curious how much one costs, and to maybe make a Citracett one for a joke avatar.

Options are incredibly limited and generic, so no Citracett for me. But there actually is the option to just use it as a free Funkopop avatar maker, because apparently there's a demand for that.

The things cost $30 each, but for an extra $8 they'll throw in a plastic cube to keep your box pristine. Insane.

Wasn't Funko reported to be in the dump earlier this year or last year? I would had figured Funko Pops would had been buried in the dump along with the ET Atari cartridges. I wouldn't be surprised if Chris Chan himself would buy one of these and make it look as much of his Mary Sue's as possible.

 

[Pina Colada]

Options are incredibly limited and generic

Just like the brand itself!

 

[BootlegPopeye]

Yes, it's the Dead Boomer Stuff Event Horizon. That particular aesthetic is only popular with a generation who are either dying or HEAVILY downsizing. The very few younger people who like things like that (instead of say, Live-Laugh-Love stuff or pop culture kitsch like Funkos) can pick up all they want on Ebay. Ebay really did a number on the going rates for "collectibles" because it's clear that there's a glut of the stuff, and most of it isn't rare.

This sort of thing - not so much ornaments, but 'collectibles' used to be all over TV in the 80s and 90s. You couldn't go one hour without a commercial for some 'John Wayne Commemorative Plate' or 'Limited Edition pewter models'. Vast majority of that stuff is absolutely worthless now, I see that sort of thing quite often at Goodwill and no ones buying them.

Some weirder, older Hallmarks are the only ones that seem to be worth anything (didn't take long to find some in the $50 range on ebay, and there are some expensive rare ones people were paying hundreds for). But at least they still have some following. The 'As seen on TV' tier shit on the other hand, no one wants.