🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

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Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 127 13.2%

  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.6%

  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 529 55.0%

  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 232 24.1%
  • Total voters
    961
Connor Bible said:
Why should I even attempt to make an effort?
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You know Harry Potter got rejected by 10 publishers before one of them agreed to take the story? Nothing's perfect on the first try. Every person on this planet has to deal with failure before success comes around. Why are you any different?
 
@Connor Bible

The thing about drinking yourself to death is that you have to actually drink to do it. Knock one back dude, go get a beer or something. You're 21, the sky's the limit!
 
Why do you deliberately choose a career aspiration as certain to hand you depressing moments as writing? If you want smiles and hugs and immediate return on time investment, clean your parents' house.

Edit: Okay, then, kiddo, if you want to be paid immediately for time you put in, clean someone else's house. But not without telling them first. That would just be even more creepy than GETTING MAD AT AN OLD PERSON FOR HAVING DEMENTIA.
 
Holy fuck, guys, every goddamn time Connor comes back we go through this. He's not going to listen to a word anyone says. Stop trying.

Connor Bible said:
And another thing... I'm not even thinking about having a relationship with some slut. All the fish in the sea are fucking poisonous.
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Dude, just go full SlutHate and don't look back. It's exactly what we expect of you. Just fucking do it.
 
Connor Bible said:
There is no good in my life.
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Alright, I don't frequent this thread but let me give it a try:
Mommy and Daddy pay for your school (which you are SQUANDERING, nice job btw)
They feed you
They put a roof over your head
They clothe you
They let you use the internet despite the fact you're clearly too immature for it
I could go on...
 
Dr. Meme said:
are you a gay?
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@Connor Bible knowing dr. meme that's probably an offer

EDIT:

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Connor Bible said:
At least it gives me some fucking mission to accomplish. But I'm not cut out for it. Why should I even attempt to make an effort? Why should I grin and bear it? Why should I suck up to people who fuck me over IRL?
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Hey, do you guys remember the Connor Rap @Philosophy Zombie did? It plays in my head every time I read Connor's posts.
Philosophy Zombie said:
Hey guys, I was messing around in AutoRap and I shat this out. I hope you find it mildly amusing. (my voice sounds awful but I guess everyone's does when they're recorded) Http://www.smule.com/p/364030374_118854392

I call it "Fucky You". Connor, you're an MC now! Congrats.
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Connor can you please stop being such a huge fake. Stop romanticizing the noire and bleak when you actually can't handle it.

And for the love of god actually start drinking instead of threatening it, wuss.
 
Connor Bible said:
And another thing... I'm not even thinking about having a relationship with some slut. All the fish in the sea are fucking poisonous.
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Wait, did you get catfished again? Or did a stalking attempt on a mentally handicapped girl fail... again?

The joke here is you'll never actually have an irl relationship.
 
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