🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

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Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 127 13.2%

  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.6%

  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 529 55.0%

  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 232 24.1%
  • Total voters
    961
Connor Bible said:
I thought the Lolcow threads were supposed to be fun and entertaining, and not consist of futile, back-and-forth shitflinging.
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I personally love it when you freak out and fling shit at us, that's what I find entertaining. I'm telling you this because I know it bothers the shit out of you. I find entertainment in your delusions about yourself and us.
 
Nara said:
But then where are the non-cows supposed to shitpost wildly?
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We only have enough pasture for a few cows to graze. I maintain that we only keep our finest beef fed so that we feast on the finest of lulz.

As for the rest...

*loads shotgun* We gonna be full tonight, Kiwis!

*ahem*

Anyway, @Connor Bible, like legitimately speaking, most of us want you to get better. It's just that most of your posts have killed the optimism and have made us believe that you might not become better.

Like, dude, I won't lie. Slight power level here, but some of the stuff I've heard you say you're working on, I would be interested in checking out. Don't tell us you're working on it. Give it to us. Even just a chapter.

No one is beyond redemption unless you're Len, Nick Bate, or one of the pedo LoveShys wait dammit someone edit this out so, like, dude. Make us wrong.

Because you finished your book report and now I can't use that as a cheap jab against you anymore wait edit this out this is supposed to be inspirational.
 
Connor Bible said:
Let's conduct a little experiment. What if, for a week, we could just forget about this thread and observe me in "the wild" (i.e. other threads)?
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That's a fine idea, but you would have to be the one responsible for it. Other people typically don't post in this thread much when you're not around, unless they have specific commentary on you. So it'd be up to you not to respond to anyone here, even if they bait you. Can you honestly say that if someone posts something like "Hey, @Connor Bible, your writing sucks and @Molly Ringwald will never love you!" you'll be able to ignore them? If not, it would be an extremely hard experiment.
 
Connor Bible said:
You know, this thread really lives off of crazy content supplied by me, and I think it's best I go back out into the other threads and, y'know, get out of my comfort zone. Engage in actual conversations. Have fun with the other guys.
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Are you restricted from posting in other threads? This thread doesn't need to be closed for you to do that. Just go post in other threads and stop replying here. The thread will die eventually.
 
@Connor Bible, are you planning to graduate community college with an actual degree, or are you taking classes just to take classes?

Also, how many semesters have you had at college? We were wondering that earlier and I couldn't remember.
 
Connor Bible said:
Let's conduct a little experiment. What if, for a week, we could just forget about this thread and observe me in "the wild" (i.e. other threads)?
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You're free to post anywhere in the Farms. You showed that when you posted in that one Autism thread.

Just remember that you're gonna be held accountable for what you post. If you act like an autistic spaz, no one is going to white knight you.

As one of the quotes that's cycled on the top of the site says:

"So you joined a site that's dedicated to making fun of people's eccentricities... and you're mad because people started making fun of your eccentricities."

Either embrace your faults and laugh with him like our friendly neighborhood Finnish Patriot American or don't let it get to you and strive to improve, but by the nine hells, dude, stop chimping out.
 
2003 said:
Could someone explain to me why Connor is a lolcow in the first place? Besides desperately needing to filter his thoughts he seems like an okay dude, at least compared to the rest of the lolcows.
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Connor is probably one of the mildest cases of lolcows, but basically in the past he's:

1) been resistant to change.

2) constantly derailed topics with irrelevant shit.

3) attributed several things to movie quotes.

4) spazzed out like an autist.

5) promised things that he's never followed up.

6) shittalked the Kiwi Farms on Wrong Planet (which in itself was a barrel load of autism) and expected no one here to notice.

7) been horrible at hiding personal information and his power level.

He's basically the prime example of "This is not your personal asylum, and we do not give a fuck about your life story."

But Connor shows glimmers of improvement, which is more than we can say for most people we follow, so many people remain optimistic to him turning his life fully around and becoming, well... not a lolcow. Not to mention that he can still quip and bite like the rest of us when given a good target (Len).
 
2003 said:
Could someone explain to me why Connor is a lolcow in the first place? Besides desperately needing to filter his thoughts he seems like an okay dude, at least compared to the rest of the lolcows.
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1- Admitted to falsely accusing his parents of sexual abuse for attention

2-Admitted to having violent fantasies about women.

3-He got pissed several times and hurled misogynistic insults at female forum members

4-Know serial liar

5- Tried to throw an irl friend under the bus to take our attention off him.

6-Has compared adoption to terrorism and rape.

7-Has never apologized or shown remorse for any of the above apart from a weakened stance on adoption.

Yea he's a great guy. All those big mean Kiwis are being so unfair to him!
 
2003 said:
Could someone explain to me why Connor is a lolcow in the first place? Besides desperately needing to filter his thoughts he seems like an okay dude, at least compared to the rest of the lolcows.
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https://kiwifarms.net/threads/connor-bible.7044/
That's what the OP is for, my friend.
 
sonichuis44 said:
The OP hasn't been updated in 6 months, and the attachments are broken.

Did he really accuse his parents of sexual abuse? :o
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Yup. We have the WrongPlanet screencaps to prove it. For some reason Connor seems to attract a lot of white knights.
 
This thread should be locked, not because it would be fun to make Connor provide us more entertainment, not because he's actually an okay guy and doesn't deserve a thread, but because he fails at being a lolcow.

If you wanna blame others for the degradation of this thread, sure, but at the end of the day it's Connor Bible. 380 pages of this thread have neutered him. He currently just spouts bad opinions and terrible media references. His chimpouts are less and less frequent as well as less entertaining. You could call this improvement, sure, but he still manages to live an absurdly petty life. He's just been conditioned.
 
Alan Pardew said:
I would say the thread actually caused him to contribute less too, because the constant requests for him to produce Alphaboy are really annoying:
https://kiwifarms.net/search/1793876/?q=Alphaboy&t=post&o=relevance&c[thread]=7044

If you're too pressured to create content, you usually give up and stop doing it. Connor is better to create content whenever he wants.
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Connor Bible said:
Let's conduct a little experiment. What if, for a week, we could just forget about this thread and observe me in "the wild" (i.e. other threads)?
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Uh.
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