🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

[JustSomeFella]

You know what? Connor has consistently refused to listen to our words of encouragement, our assurances that the obstacles in his life can be overcome, that his goals can be within his reach should he choose to grab them. But nothing ever works. He comes back for more buttpats and leaves when somebody gets to critical of him or sees through his obvious facade.

So my advice to Connor is this: give up.

Just give up. You're never going to write those novels. You're never going to finish anything. You want all the attention of talking about being a writer but you can't be fucked to put in the work towards it. Stop fooling yourself, and everybody else. Admit that you will never finish a book, let alone a short story. Admit that all you'll ever be is a sad, selfish lump fapping to bellybuttons and Molly Ringwald. Admit that you're a hopeless sperg who reads way too much into otherwise straightforward things because people just being happy is inconceivable to you, probably because you don't actually know how to love anybody but yourself.

We keep telling you the things that would be more suited towards your interests; writing movie reviews, working in film, maybe writing comics. But every single time you ignore them so you can fall back into the cycle of self-pity and attention whoring.

But we're tired, Connor. We got other shit to do, even if you don't. So give up. Maybe you can write those books when you grow the fuck up, but that's not likely to happen. You have no talent. You are not as smart as you think you are. Your story ideas are boring and derivative. There is nothing unique you contribute to the world aside from your Molly Ringwald obsession and your bizarre hatred of adoption, and those things cause you to stand out as an oddity. You will never amount to anything more than just another player in the internet freakshow.

So, Connor, you can respond to this one of two ways: you can crumple into another heap of "woe is me!" and "I'm being cyberbullied!" or you can nut up and prove everything I said wrong. I would love you to prove me wrong. I'd be fucking delighted. Even if it were done only out of spite to me, shit, at least you would be making something. At least you'd have some motivation.

But you probably won't. It'd probably take something like a near-death experience to rattle you enough to actually change your shitty attitude. That's how entrenched you are. That is how pathetic your life is at the very moment.

Your life only sucks because you have allowed it to suck this bad. So, what are you gonna do about it?

This feels like the emotional climax of this thread. Perfectly done He needs to hear this.

 

[sugoi-chan]

This feels like the emotional climax of this thread. Perfectly done He needs to hear this.

The sad part is, he's heard this several times throughout the behemoth of a thread and never takes it to heart or does anything otherwise. He just continues his cycle.

 

[The Knife]

I'd say close the thread after that, but I think this thread's the only thing still motivating him.

 

[Coster]

You know what? Connor has consistently refused to listen to our words of encouragement, our assurances that the obstacles in his life can be overcome, that his goals can be within his reach should he choose to grab them. But nothing ever works. He comes back for more buttpats and leaves when somebody gets to critical of him or sees through his obvious facade.

So my advice to Connor is this: give up.

Just give up. You're never going to write those novels. You're never going to finish anything. You want all the attention of talking about being a writer but you can't be fucked to put in the work towards it. Stop fooling yourself, and everybody else. Admit that you will never finish a book, let alone a short story. Admit that all you'll ever be is a sad, selfish lump fapping to bellybuttons and Molly Ringwald. Admit that you're a hopeless sperg who reads way too much into otherwise straightforward things because people just being happy is inconceivable to you, probably because you don't actually know how to love anybody but yourself.

We keep telling you the things that would be more suited towards your interests; writing movie reviews, working in film, maybe writing comics. But every single time you ignore them so you can fall back into the cycle of self-pity and attention whoring.

But we're tired, Connor. We got other shit to do, even if you don't. So give up. Maybe you can write those books when you grow the fuck up, but that's not likely to happen. You have no talent. You are not as smart as you think you are. Your story ideas are boring and derivative. There is nothing unique you contribute to the world aside from your Molly Ringwald obsession and your bizarre hatred of adoption, and those things cause you to stand out as an oddity. You will never amount to anything more than just another player in the internet freakshow.

So, Connor, you can respond to this one of two ways: you can crumple into another heap of "woe is me!" and "I'm being cyberbullied!" or you can nut up and prove everything I said wrong. I would love you to prove me wrong. I'd be fucking delighted. Even if it were done only out of spite to me, shit, at least you would be making something. At least you'd have some motivation.

But you probably won't. It'd probably take something like a near-death experience to rattle you enough to actually change your shitty attitude. That's how entrenched you are. That is how pathetic your life is at the very moment.

Your life only sucks because you have allowed it to suck this bad. So, what are you gonna do about it?

I mean, this is a really hearty post, but it's not worth the effort. Connor's not going to change. Just five months and 345 pages of this thread are a testament to that, and seeing as how Connor's been the same person for like maybe the past 5-6 years we have content on, it won't happen.

Semper fidelis though. I hope you feel better after writing that.

 

[registereduser]

Just when I thought people were getting too soft on him.

Edit: And he's going to come back and, at most, will vaguely acknowledge these posts.

 

[JustSomeFella]

The sad part is, he's heard this several times throughout the behemoth of a thread and never takes it to heart or does anything otherwise. He just continues his cycle.

Yeah I've been reading this thread from the beginning but this post by Meowthkip just seemed to send that message in a really powerful way.
No disrespect to anyone else who's posted something similar.

 

[Meowthkip]

Honey, I gave him this exact same advice back in January. And what does he do?

He rates it "disagree".

Saying these things to Connor is the same as screaming into the void. It won't make a damn bit of difference. Best thing to do is to save it for someone who legitimately wants to improve themselves.

I guess there was the off-chance that it might motivate him out of spite, because that works for me as far as art is concerned. Then again, I'm not a FAT, WHINY FAGGOT.

I mean, this is a really hearty post, but it's not worth the effort. Connor's not going to change. Just five months and 345 pages of this thread are a testament to that, and seeing as how Connor's been the same person for like maybe the past 5-6 years we have content on, it won't happen.

Semper fidelis though. I hope you feel better after writing that.

A little bit, yeah.

I mean, fuck, I'm tempted to get really cruel and just be like "why don't you just fucking kill yourself if you're not going to do anything with your life ever," but that's too fucked up and also I don't actually want him dead. The fact that I have reached this point where even considering that as an option to get a new reaction out of him aside from the same old shit is a sign that Connor's self-importance and laziness is enough to drive mortal men mad.

I'm losing my guvking mind.

 

[Golly]

Spoiler: Basically what everyone has been posting on this thread since its inception.

 

[Lady Houligan]

Spoiler: Basically what everyone has been posting on this thread since its conception.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=nuHfVn_cfHU

Holy fuck now I want to go write a book.

 

[BriarHeart]

I've said it before and I'll say it again: @Connor Bible is a narcissist. He cares only about himself, he sees himself as separate from (and superior to) all of the pleb sheeple in modern society, and he truly believes that he deserves attention and praise by merit of his being Connor Bible. He will never change because he sees nothing wrong in himself. It's everyone else who has the problems, not him. He uses this delusion as a means to shore up his psyche under the crushing truth that he is not a noir antihero beloved by millions, but is instead a whiny fat faggot that will never graduate.

I'd love to hear him admit that yes, the only reason he claims to be a writer is to derive the egocentric satisfaction of pretending to be the next Stephen King, but I'm not holding my breath. At this point, I've given up on him actually making any meaningful improvements or progress to his life. I'm just here to eat popcorn and watch Connor contort himself in a vain attempt to justify his malingering and set my watch by the next meltdown.

[EDIT]

Spoiler: Basically what everyone has been posting on this thread since its conception.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=nuHfVn_cfHU

That was hilarious! And actually inspiring; I'ma go fix me another whiskey and pull up that story I've been working on. Imagine that, a whiny fat faggot and a cannibal squatting in front of a green screen can inspire positive action. I love the internet.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Connor probably won't take this advice, but a good way to come up with a story is to start out with a simple idea and then develop it into an outline, which can then be expanded into the story.

For example:

Cookies.

Then:

A bird buys cookies.

Which then becomes:

A talking bird goes on an epic quest to buy cookies despite a gang of stray cats.

A story outline can then be made from this which can then be expanded into a novel.

This basic approach of expanding an outline can be applied to other kinds of writing too, not just stories. For example, here's an outline I wrote just now for a hypothetical report on aluminum:

- Introduction (what is aluminum, summarize it's importance)
- characteristics of aluminum
- history of aluminum (like it's discovery)
- current applications of aluminum
- conclusion (kind of summarize the rest of the report and maybe throw in some speculation of the future of aluminum)

If this were an actual assignment, I could come up with a decent sized paper from this in a relatively short time.

Also, writing as an art should be done primarily because one enjoys it.

 

[MysticMisty]

1. Fapping
2. Fapping to Molly Ringwald in person.
3. See 2.

Molly Ringwald's belly button you mean.

 

[Chan the Wizard]

Story idea: a programmer obsessed with an autistic manchild has a one night stand with a washed up '80s movie actress. Unable to care for the resulting child, she gives it up for adoption. Now, the child goes on a journey not only to discover his birth parents, but his own place in the world.
Autism Eva: ADOPTION IS MURDER!

 

[sugoi-chan]

Story idea: a programmer obsessed with an autistic manchild has a one night stand with a washed up '80s movie actress. Unable to care for the resulting child, she gives it up for adoption. Now, the child goes on a journey not only to discover his birth parents, but his own place in the world.
Autism Eva: ADOPTION IS MURDER!

We could clone Shakespeare, have him write this story, and then have a hundred monkeys in a room with a typewriter re-write that story...before @Connor Bible finishes his 5 page review of All Quiet, let alone start writing this autobiographical story.

 

[dabluearmedbandit]

Connor is fat and I would not re-enact 16 Candles with him.

 

[EI 903]

@Ronald Gaygun don't you have a project that you should be working on finishing? :-p

 

[Dudeofteenage]

But if I write for myself, I'll probably go insane. I'm already pretty self-defeating.

If the only way you can convince yourself to write is by promising yourself you will win the acclaim of others, you'll never write. Nobody produces praise-worthy writing on their first try, not even the best writers (and many of them suffered from depression).

If your desire to write isn't sufficient motivation to write in and of itself, don't try to be a writer.

 

[Le Bateleur]

Okay... If I get some writing done, and if I hope to get published, they're gonna slam the door in my face because of what they see here.

You've got to embrace it.

"Read the new Bible - from the man the Internet loves to hate!"

Feel free to use that on your posters, btw. Srs.

 

[wagglyplacebo]

When you google image search Connor Bible:

Even Google thinks all lolcows look the same.
Oh and here's what he looks like currently.

 

[Chan the Wizard]

Why the pedo glasses? Do autists by them in bulk or something?