🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

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Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 127 13.2%
  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.6%
  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 529 55.0%
  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 232 24.1%

  • Total voters
    961
You know Connor, most people go through their whiny teenage emo phase in their actual teens.

Just sayin.
 
Okay... If I get some writing done, and if I hope to get published, they're gonna slam the door in my face because of what they see here.

Yes, Connor Bible of Port Royal, South Carolina (SC) who is known for their works Alphaboy and Redesigning Eva. We're going to make sure you're like Kayla "Catherine" Marie Waller of Katy, Texas (TX) who works for a philly cheesesteak restaurant and has worked at Carl's Jr./Hardee's of Katy, Texas (TX). Every publisher must know that when Connor Bible of Port Royal, South Carolina (SC) who is known for their works Alphaboy and Redesigning Eva submits work to them that Connor Bible of Port Royal, South Carolina (SC) who is known for their works Alphaboy and Redesigning Eva has previously had a run-in with people with whom he shared his works. Connor Bible of Port Royal, South Carolina (SC) who is known for their works Alphaboy and Redesigning Eva is known for ripping off several movies, animes, and various other media to write Connor Bible of Port Royal, South Carolina (SC) who is known for their works Alphaboy and Redesigning Eva's works. Connor Bible of Port Royal, South Carolina (SC) who is known for their works Alphaboy and Redesigning Eva will likely not be published as Connor Bible of Port Royal, South Carolina (SC) who is known for their works Alphaboy and Redesigning Eva cannot write or finish things in a timely manner, thus making it impossible for Connor Bible of Port Royal, South Carolina (SC) who is known for their works Alphaboy and Redesigning Eva to be published by any publisher who does a google search for Connor Bible of Port Royal, South Carolina (SC) who is known for their works Alphaboy and Redesigning Eva.

Connor Bible of Port Royal, South Carolina (SC) who is known for their works Alphaboy and Redesigning Eva, you had a chance, and now Connor Bible of Port Royal, South Carolina (SC) who is known for their works Alphaboy and Redesigning Eva will suffer for it.
 
Okay... If I get some writing done, and if I hope to get published, they're gonna slam the door in my face because of what they see here.
I'm not convinced that literary agencies or publishing houses do a lot of background checking like that. I think they just go by the potential of profitability. If anything, authors tend to background check agents and publishers more than the other way around.
 
That's not going to be for awhile, even with a substantial body of work under my belt.

Your biggest issue, and I'm gonna be honest, is that most of your work (at least from the cliff notes I've been given when you expound upon the ideas without having actually written anything) are fairly derivative. So I wouldn't worry yet about publishing and a publisher's reaction to your online presence without having written something of merit and something original.
 
I'm just saying... if I'm going to be posting anything on Wattpad or Fictionpress, I'd rather it not look like stream-of-consciousnessgobbledygookmymotherisafishmollaaaaaaaaaaayringwaaaaaaaalllllldheadexplodingstargatenotinordershutupshutupihatemyselfmutating

Jesus Christ Connor, relax.
First drafts are meant to be crap. That's what editing is for.
Also, you're what, 21 years old? In terms of creative works, you're a baby. It takes years of practice to get good. Don't beat yourself over not being perfect. Do beat yourself up over not even trying.
 
It's hard for me to satisfy myself simply by doing things.
Connor, I'm going to put this in large text so that you can't miss it. I think that everyone here would get much more out of this thread, including yourself, if you honestly answer these questions:

If you cannot satisfy yourself by "doing things," what DOES make you satisfied?

What is it, outside of yourself, that could potentially satisfy you?

What is it that you actually want?
 
Connor, I'm going to put this in large text so that you can't miss it. I think that everyone here would get much more out of this thread, including yourself, if you honestly answer these questions:

If you cannot satisfy yourself by "doing things," what DOES make you satisfied?

What is it, outside of yourself, that could potentially satisfy you?

What is it that you actually want?

1. Fapping
2. Fapping to Molly Ringwald in person.
3. See 2.
 
Are we still trying to help Connor? I'm all for cows improving themselves, but he's just feeding off the concern.
 
You know what? Connor has consistently refused to listen to our words of encouragement, our assurances that the obstacles in his life can be overcome, that his goals can be within his reach should he choose to grab them. But nothing ever works. He comes back for more buttpats and leaves when somebody gets to critical of him or sees through his obvious facade.

So my advice to Connor is this: give up.

Just give up. You're never going to write those novels. You're never going to finish anything. You want all the attention of talking about being a writer but you can't be fucked to put in the work towards it. Stop fooling yourself, and everybody else. Admit that you will never finish a book, let alone a short story. Admit that all you'll ever be is a sad, selfish lump fapping to bellybuttons and Molly Ringwald. Admit that you're a hopeless sperg who reads way too much into otherwise straightforward things because people just being happy is inconceivable to you, probably because you don't actually know how to love anybody but yourself.

We keep telling you the things that would be more suited towards your interests; writing movie reviews, working in film, maybe writing comics. But every single time you ignore them so you can fall back into the cycle of self-pity and attention whoring.

But we're tired, Connor. We got other shit to do, even if you don't. So give up. Maybe you can write those books when you grow the fuck up, but that's not likely to happen. You have no talent. You are not as smart as you think you are. Your story ideas are boring and derivative. There is nothing unique you contribute to the world aside from your Molly Ringwald obsession and your bizarre hatred of adoption, and those things cause you to stand out as an oddity. You will never amount to anything more than just another player in the internet freakshow.

So, Connor, you can respond to this one of two ways: you can crumple into another heap of "woe is me!" and "I'm being cyberbullied!" or you can nut up and prove everything I said wrong. I would love you to prove me wrong. I'd be fucking delighted. Even if it were done only out of spite to me, shit, at least you would be making something. At least you'd have some motivation.

But you probably won't. It'd probably take something like a near-death experience to rattle you enough to actually change your shitty attitude. That's how entrenched you are. That is how pathetic your life is at the very moment.

Your life only sucks because you have allowed it to suck this bad. So, what are you gonna do about it?
 
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You know what? Connor has consistently refused to listen to our words of encouragement, our assurances that the obstacles in his life can be overcome, that his goals can be within his reach should he choose to grab them. But nothing ever works. He comes back for more buttpats and leaves when somebody gets to critical of him or sees through his obvious facade.

So my advice to Connor is this: give up.

Just give up. You're never going to write those novels. You're never going to finish anything. You want all the attention of talking about being a writer but you can't be fucked to put in the work towards it. Stop fooling yourself, and everybody else. Admit that you will never finish a book, let alone a short story. Admit that all you'll ever be is a sad, selfish lump fapping to bellybuttons and Molly Ringwald. Admit that you're a hopeless sperg who reads way too much into otherwise straightforward things because people just being happy is inconceivable to you, probably because you don't actually know how to love anybody but yourself.

We keep telling you the things that would be more suited towards your interests; writing movie reviews, working in film, maybe writing comics. But every single time you ignore them so you can fall back into the cycle of self-pity and attention whoring.

But we're tired, Connor. We got other shit to do, even if you don't. So give up. Maybe you can write those books when you grow the fuck up, but that's not likely to happen. You have no talent. You are not as smart as you think you are. Your story ideas are boring and derivative. There is nothing unique you contribute to the world aside from your Molly Ringwald obsession and your bizarre hatred of adoption, and those things cause you to stand out as an oddity. You will never amount to anything more than just another player in the internet freakshow.

So, Connor, you can respond to this one of two ways: you can crumple into another heap of "woe is me!" and "I'm being cyberbullied!" or you can nut up and prove everything I said wrong. I would love you to prove me wrong. I'd be fucking delighted. Even if it were done only out of spite to me, shit, at least you would be making something. At least you'd have some motivation.

But you probably won't. It'd probably take something like a near-death experience to rattle you enough to actually change your shitty attitude. That's how entrenched you are. That is how pathetic your life is at the very moment.

Your life only sucks because you have allowed it to suck this bad. So, what are you gonna do about it?

Honey, I gave him this exact same advice back in January. And what does he do?

He rates it "disagree".

Saying these things to Connor is the same as screaming into the void. It won't make a damn bit of difference. Best thing to do is to save it for someone who legitimately wants to improve themselves.
 
Is Connor a Final Fantasy VIII fan? He seems to have a major boner for the moody antihero archetype.
I don't know if he plays any of the FFs, but he's much more into the Shinji Ikari character upset much worse.

Do you hate null so much because you're in love with him?
I think Connor's rather jealous based off his posts.


One thing I wonder now. I'm curious about the possibility of someone that knows him in real life might sign up here to talk about him? That would be honestly really interesting if that happens.
 
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