🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

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Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 127 13.2%

  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.6%

  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 529 55.0%

  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 232 24.1%
  • Total voters
    961
Connor, how do you feel about writing collaboration efforts?Outside of your experience in the round robin with @Meowthkip, have you done much? It's a really freeing experience, knowing that you're not the only person responsible for steering a narrative.
 
Handsome Pete said:
ConnorQuest: The Connor Bible Interactive Fiction Experience.

The result of literal minutes spent learning Twine and applying the magic of hypertext to my natural shitposting instinct. @BOLDYSPICY!, I hope it's ok that I used a piece of your Connor art. If I decide to expand on this very silly project in the future, I will take the time to ask permission, but because this was something I slapped together in an hour it sort of slipped my mind.

Also, there's no chance in hell I will expand on it in the future, and I won't make any crazy promises to the contrary. Hint hint, Connor.

EDIT: Thanks to @Hat for catching a pretty obvious bug. It should be fixed now, but if not, it's probably your fault for not owning a high-end gaming rig.
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Hey, I thought I hadn't seen you lately! & @Locksnap, come to think of it. . .

That was beautiful. & my art is yours to use however you'd like. <3
 
@Locksnap: I'd like to ask you a question myself. I'm not positive if you answered this a long time ago, but what attracted you to this forum in the first place?
Morbid curiosity, mostly. I had known of Chris since about middle school, but I wasn't actually a True and Honest Fan. I went, "Fuck it, I'm joining this place."
@Ruin: Do you have anything else you are passionate about like fixing cars, computer programming, or something?[...][edited because Connor likely won't read any of that, sorry @Ruin :c]
I'm also into movies and video games. I used to have several emulators on my laptop, but I removed them because they were slowing things down.

@Chipmunk's Bounty: Why do you come back here if you hate us so much?
I wouldn't say I hate you guys. Some of things you do are quite annoying to me, though. I want to set things straight, and I know it's going to take work.

@Philosophy Zombie: On that note, do you genuinely enjoy writing? It always seemed to me that you didn't like writing except as a means to an end so people can see what a talented yet troubled maverick you are.
I enjoy writing, but I'm such a hardass that I can't get anything DONE.

@Randall Fragg: Hey, Connor, since you're an aspiring writer, how about you join in one of the community RPG games? @@Sanic was going to doing something with DnD a while back, he still might do it.
@Hi_I_Am_From_Page_6: Have you considered wanking less, eating better, and exercising? Seriously, hard exercise is the absolute best for dealing with bad feels.
Yes. Yes, yes, yes, and more yes.
 
More questions for @Connor:

balcolm said:
@Connor what in all seriousness do you do when you aren't here/WP/in maths?
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Altissimo said:
@Connor:
What concepts are you working on exactly in that math class?
And what do you want to do with your college career?
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Chipmunk's Bounty said:
Connor, how do you feel about writing collaboration efforts?Outside of your experience in the round robin with @Meowthkip, have you done much? It's a really freeing experience, knowing that you're not the only person responsible for steering a narrative.
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TM Ambrose said:
@Connor what do you think of Connor Plays Pokemon: Kiwi Edition? I tried to make it a bit biographical with you stalking that girl that one time.
If you could give it a rating 1-Molly Ringwald what would you give it? Would you play a game like this?
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Connor said:
I enjoy writing, but I'm such a hardass that I can't get anything DONE.
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why don't you just write for the sake of writing? like, just write shit you'll never show anybody.

Connor said:
Yes. Yes, yes, yes, and more yes.
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have you actually done any exercising recently?

edit: Connor you cannot just agree with my post you need to respond to it holy fuck
 
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Connor, since you didn't answer my question about inspiration, I'll ask a more direct one:

When was the last time you read a book?
 
Connor said:
@Locksnap: I'd like to ask you a question myself. I'm not positive if you answered this a long time ago, but what attracted you to this forum in the first place?
Morbid curiosity, mostly. I had known of Chris since about middle school, but I wasn't actually a True and Honest Fan. I went, "Fuck it, I'm joining this place."
@Ruin: Do you have anything else you are passionate about like fixing cars, computer programming, or something?[...][edited because Connor likely won't read any of that, sorry @Ruin :c]
I'm also into movies and video games. I used to have several emulators on my laptop, but I removed them because they were slowing things down.

@Chipmunk's Bounty: Why do you come back here if you hate us so much?
I wouldn't say I hate you guys. Some of things you do are quite annoying to me, though. I want to set things straight, and I know it's going to take work.

@Philosophy Zombie: On that note, do you genuinely enjoy writing? It always seemed to me that you didn't like writing except as a means to an end so people can see what a talented yet troubled maverick you are.
I enjoy writing, but I'm such a hardass that I can't get anything DONE.

@Randall Fragg: Hey, Connor, since you're an aspiring writer, how about you join in one of the community RPG games? @@Sanic was going to doing something with DnD a while back, he still might do it.
@Hi_I_Am_From_Page_6: Have you considered wanking less, eating better, and exercising? Seriously, hard exercise is the absolute best for dealing with bad feels.
Yes. Yes, yes, yes, and more yes.
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Procrastination's a bitch, I'm very well acquainted with it myself, but if you want to be a writer as a career you've gotta do more than putz around in your room all day. Most of the best writers tried new things and had many experiences that they used as the basis for their writing.
 
Oh fuck all kinds of duck why does he just answer three whole questions & then leave
 
The Big Connorpendium of Posts Connor has Posted Elsewhere and Beyond

TVTropes
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Disqus
Part 1

Absolute Write
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5

Wrong Planet
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10
Part 11
Part 12
Part 13
Part 14
Part 15
Part 16
Part 17
Part 18
Part 19
Part 20
Part 21
Part 22
Part 23
Part 24
Part 25
Part 26
Part 27
Part 28
Part 29
Part 30

Toho Kingdom
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5

IMDB (brought to you by the Man in Black @Randall Fragg)
Part 1

Stephen King Forums
Part 1

NaNoWriMo
Part 1
Part 2
 
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Connor said:
What I love about ConnorQuest is that it's so fucking true. Good comedy, in my mind, always has an element of reality to it, and in that department, @Handsome Pete did not disappoint. There's also kind of a fatalistic overtone to the game; no matter what you do, you're still going to get a FUCKY YOU staring right back at ya.

Pete, you deserve an award.
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Thanks! I am oddly flattered and less mortified than I thought I would be when this inevitably happened. I admit I went for cheap laffs above all, and any redeeming value is purely unintentional, but if you got something out of it, I won't complain. Then again, if you're just being a good sport... well, congrats on being a good sport.
BOLDYSPICY! said:
That was beautiful. & my art is yours to use however you'd like. <3
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Coming soon... ConnorQuest 2: Electric Kriegerloo. Wait, no. The Legend of Molay's Gold.

Wait, no. The Wrath of Khan-or.
 
Hey Connor, let's do some maths.

There are 168 hours in a week. If I assume you sleep ten hours a day (which can't be that far off) that leaves 98 hours.

You said your basic maths class is 1 hour and 15 minutes long. I don't know how many times you have it per week, so I'm going to assume you have it every weekday. That shaves off 6 hours and 15 minutes, leaving 91 hours and 45 minutes. I was being generous, it's only two and a half hours.

What the fuck do you do for 95.5 hours each week?
 
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balcolm said:
Hey Connor, let's do some maths.

There are 168 hours in a week. If I assume you sleep ten hours a day (which can't be that far off) that leaves 98 hours.

You said your basic maths class is 1 hour and 15 minutes long. I don't know how many times you have it per week, so I'm going to assume you have it every weekday. That shaves off 6 hours and 15 minutes, leaving 91 hours and 45 minutes.

What the fuck do you do for 91 hours each week?
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If I remember correctly he has math twice a week
 
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