🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

[Hat]

This is what perplexes me. Why does Connor insist on a female self insert in a fictional universe that's 100% trope and rip-off. Wouldn't he have simply wrote fan-fiction like the rest do If he wanted an established structure to write 'Eva' in. Why is he different?

If I recall correctly, one of his forum posts on another forum clarified that RE was, indeed, going to be a fan-fiction. Then it became a screenplay, then a novel.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

I pointed out that the similarities were instantly recognizable

When I first saw the other post (where you mention the stadium thing), I thought that maybe you were being too hard on Connor by calling stuff plagiarism that really isn't. But now I can see from the SOTL example that the stadium thing would probably be a specific imitation of that scene in a way that isn't just a "trope" or "homage".

edit: If RE was a fanfiction, that'd be different. Too bad as a fanfiction of copyrighted work(s), you can't really publish them for profit without permission from the original author(s), as far as I know.

 

[JU 199]

And the thing is, it's not even like he's ripping off SOTL entirely. The rest of the story is...well, awful and riddled with cliche, but original. Then for no apparent reason, in the middle of the story, it veers off and steals two chapters from Silence of the Lambs.

So he's 'borrowing' bits and pieces from recognizable fiction and cobbling them together into a novel. Oh no.

 

[Smutley]

If I recall correctly, one of his forum posts on another forum clarified that RE was, indeed, going to be a fan-fiction. Then it became a screenplay, then a novel.

Now he never states what it's a fanfic of but I'm pretty sure everyone knows what, in 2012, it's a fanfic of (cough Neon Genesis Evangelion + Blade Runner cough)

Also I want you guys to know I used to have memories of floating in a lake with my dad drinking sodas and watching lightning bugs, but those have all been replaced with Connor posts now. Thanks.

 

[The Knife]

So he's 'borrowing' bits and pieces from recognizable fiction and cobbling them together into a novel. Oh no.

Oh yes! Fortunately no one will ever read past the first page, so they'll never get to that part.

 

[JU 199]

Fortunately no one will ever read past the first page, so they'll never get to that part.

Then he needs to stop. He obviously doesn't have any intentions on improving his skills.

He should take up a social hobby that keeps him around people. That would help in the long run. (If he gave a shit... which he doesn't)

 

[Sonic Hoo]

Maybe he just uses an automatic plot generator. Saves time if you don't give a shit.

http://www.plot-generator.org.uk/

So I tried the plot generator.

Spoiler

Two Down to earth Uncles Doing nothing to the Beat
A Short Story
by facky you
Connor Bible looked at the frumpish wig in his hands and felt raging.

He walked over to the window and reflected on his ratings manipulative surroundings. He had always hated a harassment website Kiwi Farms with its late, long lolcows. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel raging.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of meowthkip . meowthkip was a helpful pokemon with fluffy fungi and slimy pedoglasses.

Connor gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a dick, rude, mountain dew drinker with moist fungi and fat pedoglasses. His friends saw him as a crazy, clever Chrischan. Once, he had even helped a loose silentprincess cross the road.

But not even a dick person who had once helped a loose silentprincess cross the road, was prepared for what meowthkip had in store today.

The rain hammered like writing dogs, making Connor laughable.

As Connor stepped outside and meowthkip came closer, he could see the fierce glint in her eye.

meowthkip glared with all the wrath of 2093 gentle happy hats. She said, in hushed tones, "I hate you and I want improvement."

Connor looked back, even more laughable and still fingering the frumpish wig. "meowthkip, ur a fukin scumbag," he replied.

They looked at each other with unforgiving feelings, like two perfect, powerful pokemon shoitting at a very generous fourth anniversary, which had canon in d music playing in the background and two down to earth uncles doing nothing to the beat.

Suddenly, meowthkip lunged forward and tried to punch Connor in the face. Quickly, Connor grabbed the frumpish wig and brought it down on meowthkip's skull.

meowthkip's fluffy fungi trembled and her slimy pedoglasses wobbled. She looked immature, her emotions raw like a petite, powerful pen.

Then she let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later meowthkip was dead.

Connor Bible went back inside and made himself a nice drink of mountain dew.

THE END

At least it's more original than Connor.

I'm sorry @Meowthkip I wouldn't want Connor to put a wig on me either.

 

[JU 199]

Also I want you guys to know I used to have memories of floating in a lake with my dad drinking sodas and watching lightning bugs, but those have all been replaced with Connor posts now. Thanks.

 

[Meowthkip]

So I tried the plot generator.

Spoiler

Two Down to earth Uncles Doing nothing to the Beat
A Short Story
by facky you
Connor Bible looked at the frumpish wig in his hands and felt raging.

He walked over to the window and reflected on his ratings manipulative surroundings. He had always hated a harassment website Kiwi Farms with its late, long lolcows. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel raging.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of meowthkip . meowthkip was a helpful pokemon with fluffy fungi and slimy pedoglasses.

Connor gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a dick, rude, mountain dew drinker with moist fungi and fat pedoglasses. His friends saw him as a crazy, clever Chrischan. Once, he had even helped a loose silentprincess cross the road.

But not even a dick person who had once helped a loose silentprincess cross the road, was prepared for what meowthkip had in store today.

The rain hammered like writing dogs, making Connor laughable.

As Connor stepped outside and meowthkip came closer, he could see the fierce glint in her eye.

meowthkip glared with all the wrath of 2093 gentle happy hats. She said, in hushed tones, "I hate you and I want improvement."

Connor looked back, even more laughable and still fingering the frumpish wig. "meowthkip, ur a fukin scumbag," he replied.

They looked at each other with unforgiving feelings, like two perfect, powerful pokemon shoitting at a very generous fourth anniversary, which had canon in d music playing in the background and two down to earth uncles doing nothing to the beat.

Suddenly, meowthkip lunged forward and tried to punch Connor in the face. Quickly, Connor grabbed the frumpish wig and brought it down on meowthkip's skull.

meowthkip's fluffy fungi trembled and her slimy pedoglasses wobbled. She looked immature, her emotions raw like a petite, powerful pen.

Then she let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later meowthkip was dead.

Connor Bible went back inside and made himself a nice drink of mountain dew.

THE END

At least it's more original than Connor.

I'm sorry @Meowthkip I wouldn't want Connor to put a wig on me either.

R.I.P., me.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

there's also the plot-o-matic which is pretty funny:

http://www.maddogproductions.com/plotomatic.htm

although it's for movies rather than books

 

[JU 199]

http://www.maddogproductions.com/plotomatic.htm

"Political thriller: An antisocial loner teams up with a kind hearted prostitute to find the true meaning of love. In the process they fall in love with a nun. By the end of the movie they have sex with 3 cars and end up winning the admiration of their country, living happily ever after.

Think Die Hard meets Independence Day."

When do I get my money?

 

[Dilbertmann]

Spoiler: Plot o' Connor

Connor Bible was thinking about Molly Ringwald again. Molly was an eye-catching hottie with horny testicles and pimpley breasts.

Connor walked over to the window and reflected on his fish surroundings. He had always loved water Nuclear testing site with its old-fashioned, oily oceans. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel tearful.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the an eye-catching figure of Molly Ringwald.

Connor gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a hot, lovely, Snapple drinker with fat testicles and lazy breasts. His friends saw him as a mammoth, mutated moron. Once, he had even jumped into a river and saved a knowing horde of babies.

But not even a hot person who had once jumped into a river and saved a knowing horde of babies, was prepared for what Molly had in store today.

The night teased like 69'ing cat, making Connor douchey. Connor grabbed a dildo gun that had been strewn nearby; he massaged it with his fingers.

As Connor stepped outside and Molly came closer, he could see the leaking smile on his face.

"I am here because I want Sexy time," Molly bellowed, in a suggestive tone. He slammed his fist against Connor's chest, with the force of 8419 gorilla. "I frigging love you, Connor Bible."

Connor looked back, even more douchey and still fingering the dildo gun. "Molly, let's do our brains out," he replied.

They looked at each other with horny feelings, like two difficult, dead dog pooping at a very beautiful funeral, which had emo music playing in the background and two busty uncles analing to the beat.

Connor studied Molly's horny testicles and pimpley breasts. Eventually, he took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, but I can't give you Sexy time," he explained, in pitying tones.

Molly looked unsympathetic, his body raw like a pongy, poised pen.

Connor could actually hear Molly's body shatter into 8696 pieces. Then the eye-catching hottie hurried away into the distance.

Not even a drink of Snapple would calm Connor's nerves tonight.

THE END

I'm sorry, but the random plot generator is fun. Plus a shitty fanfic is more emotional than what Connor could write up.

 

[Chipmunk's Bounty]

So, anyone want to take bets at how long it takes until Connor comes back again? I'm going to be optimistic and say he'll stay away for a week or two.

But really probably two more days or so.

 

[KatsuKitty]

Connor, your story contest entry is due in one week.

 

[BALLZ-BROKEN]

I tried the plot generator. I haven't written creatively since grade school, but now I am seriously thinking about it.

Spoiler

Galactic Amazing Mosin-Nagant Wars

A Science Fiction Plot
by Ballz Broken
A long, long time ago in an amazing, amazing galaxy...

After leaving the whiny planet Earth, a group of robot aliens fly toward a distant speck. The speck gradually resolves into a fat, space cell tower.

Civil war strikes the galaxy, which is ruled by Holden Commodore, a loser goon capable of driving with a suspended license and even arms dealing.

Terrified, a hambone purple monkey dishwasher known as Molly Ringwald flees the Empire, with her protector, Connor Bible.

They head for Whiterun on the planet Alpha Centari. When they finally arrive, a fight breaks out. Bible uses his amazing Mosin-Nagant to defend Molly.

Bible and Purple monkey dishwasher Molly decide it's time to leave Alpha Centari and steal a Ford Falcoln to shoot their way out.

They encounter a tribe of alien soldiers. Bible is attacked and the purple monkey dishwasher is captured by the alien soldiers and taken back to Whiterun.

Bible must fight to save Purple monkey dishwasher Molly but when he accidentally unearths an important mangosteen, the entire future of the amazing, whiny galaxy is at stake.

Imagine the video to Muse's "Knights of Cydonia", only about a thousand times more cooler!

 

[Cosmos]

Maybe Connor's waiting for the weather to get better before coming back and talking to us. That's why he hasn't gotten a job at the library, after all.

 

[TheIncredibleLioness]

So I've been lurking in this thread for a while, even though I haven't said anything. I've been thinking about Connor's writing the past couple of days, and I have no idea why. Well, not really Connor's writing -- me thinking about how, given the same basic premise, I would do things differently. But more to the point, I'm wondering if Connor wouldn't do well to try something completely different, theme-wise. Something bright and cheerful, and not leaning towards his precious pseudo-edginess. (I've been playing a lot of Pokemon recently, so the first thing I thought of was a Pokemon fanfic, because it's ultimately cheerful and optimistic, and also has a set structure to follow, which can help with writer's block, I find). Of course, given his reactions to suggestions before, I'm probably setting myself up for a big 'fucky you', but...yeah. I like to write myself, so maybe that's why I'm focusing on the writing.

On a more positive note, the plot generators are posting some awesome stuff!

 

[Silver]

Actually, I wouldn't mind seeing Connor's take on a Pokémon fic, even if it does end up being edgy as fuck (which would just be plain amusing, probably not good). The fanfic I've been working on as of late is a novelization of the first Mystery Dungeon game, which is one of the most light-hearted and cheerful Pokémon games there is. What I wouldn't give to see Connor work from it!

 

[TheIncredibleLioness]

Yeah, I was thinking about it way too much over breakfast the other day. I thought about even creating a new Pokémon region, and basically following the same basic plot of the games, with the idea that it would force Connor to not immediately go into "edgy as fuck" mode, and give him a structure to work with/challenge him to write creatively when he has restrictions in place -- basically give him an outline and have him write, with enough leeway that he'd have some control (so he could make the Team [Whatever] sections be as edgy as he liked). I know this is way too optimistic and will never happen, but I can dream. I'd love to see how he'd interpret it.

 

[Ti-99/4A]

Gotta catch them all....eh, maybe tomorrow.
Starring Molly Ringwald as Misty.