🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

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Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 127 13.2%

  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.6%

  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 529 55.0%

  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 232 24.1%
  • Total voters
    961
Connor said:
I'm not taking back anything I've said about this place or its members. Not to @Meowthkip , that Ringwald impersonator, or anyone of you.
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The circle is complete.

and now we laugh at you.gif
 
Connor said:
In due time, motherfucker.
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What's going on, Connor? You're snapping at posters who aren't even being mean to you. What about the post that you've just responded to was cruel and unusual? What animosity was implied?
You're frustrated with yourself and afraid of stagnating. It's a very relatable position, you know. That's why so many of us are trying to give you advice. However, you really have to try to not take it out on other people.
 
Damn it Connor, if you agree with me why did you not heed my advice to take a break from the forums? It seems like you only read the part where I told people to give you a chance and ignored the constructive criticism I gave you. If you're spending 99% of your energy trying to get a good grade in this math class, then you're wasting the other 1% trying to defend yourself and raging. There are some people here who want to see you fail and are amused by it. Why? I don't know. I like it when people pull a Ulilililila and go from being a lolcow to a productive member of society. Do you know who that is? He's batshit insane to the point of refusing to sit in a chair and is unable to discern the difference between reality and a video game. Despite being terrified of blue water because he thinks it will kill him, he has managed to not only find a job that suits him, but he excelled at it to the point where his boss has given him more properties to clean. People here aren't going to lay off you until you show your progress. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt because I remember how much of a shithead when I was your age. For your own sake, please leave and don't come back when you have something to show for it. If people still give you shit when you're volunteering and going out and meeting people, then fuck them. Right now, you're giving them an easy target that I can't really argue against when you're getting so mad about what people are saying to you on the internet.

And the fake Molly thing? I agree with you that it's hella silly, in fact it violates the rule against sockpuppet/roleplaying accounts. But you need to get over it. They only did it because you're making yourself an easy target.

PS What do you think about my suggestion to scrap the whole fiction thing and write nonfiction instead? If you got out more, you could write about your own life experiences since you seem to be very interested in yourself.
 
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Shiala said:
What did you expect? 200+ pages and 4+ years and Connor has yet to change one iota.
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Because I was an immature shithead like him until I took an arrow in the knee. He just needs to go out and experience the world a bit and realize how good he has it. He strikes me as being incredibly sheltered.
 
hurrhurrhurr said:
He strikes me as being incredibly sheltered.
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That's why we've suggested volunteering at food banks, the library or just walking neighbor's dogs. He's ignored all of these in favour of "I'm doing it...tomorrow" or lashing back out at people.
There are some people who legitimately are trying to help him with something but he won't take it or he spits the offer back in their face. He's lucky there's anyone who gives a shit about his well-being at this point.
 
Hey @Connor, know what I did this evening? I took my little sister and her boyfriend out to dinner. She's 18 years old, and she's just been disowned and thrown out of the house by our mom, just like I had been. This was the first time I'd seen her in 4 whole years. And you know what? She's okay. She's an honors student finishing up her last semester of high school while holding down two jobs. She has a loving, smart, hardworking boyfriend with a full-time job, and a solid network of peers and adults to support her. She's got a place to stay, means of transportation, me and my fiancee as a fallback, and most importantly, she's got the backbone and drive to stand up to her abusive parents. When push came to shove, even though all of her fears were telling her to back down and give in, to go along with the control and abuse, she rose to the challenge and decided to live life on her own terms. She walked out. She's gonna make it, Connor. More than that, she's gonna be brilliant. :heart-full:

I couldn't be prouder of the strong, confident woman that my goofy little sister grew up to be. And that's why I've got no sympathy for you, Connie-boy. I've spent the past four hours catching up with a young woman who overcame years of abuse and control, one with more accomplishments before breakfast on Saturday than you have all week. I've got nothing left for you. :heart-empty:
 
Connor said:
Well, what's in it for me, you fucking scumbag?
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An opportunity to improve yourself as a writer. A chance to write in a genre you've never tried before with a brand new character (or characters). Your contributions were to talk about your mom's bathroom habits and to make yourself the most important person in the universe instead of as an average person in an interesting scenario, as usual.

Also, way to be rude to somebody kind enough to try to help you with your awful writing.
 
A bit late, but:

Connor said:
But even if I do leave, you'll still be cyberstalking me and posting in this thread.
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Mocking your behavior on public fora (including but not limited to our beloved Farms) is not cyberstalking. None of your antics that we laugh at or are bothered by has been obtained by anyone pursuing you or invading your privacy - you, in all your bovine glory, have given it freely for all denizens of the Internet to enjoy from now until eternity.

Any pretense of victimhood on your part is beyond ludicrous. Don't pretend you've been stalked - that (at least until now) is a horror you've been blessed to have avoided. Get over yourself.

....:alog:
 
Connor is a moral lesson to us all: go out there and take risks, refuse to accept mediocrity, and learn from your failures. I think that many of us have compassion and empathy for Connor because, even in fragmentary moments, we see the potential for us to be the whiny fat faggot that is Connor Bible in a small way. Every time we chose to shy away from a challenge, or decide to play it safe, we are Connor.

I admire many of you for offering him advice and insight from your own experience. I also find myself tempted to do the same, to see try my hand and see if maybe I can find the correct combination of words that will help him to trigger the crucial epiphany. Unfortunately, my own personal experiences with Connor's personality type, in combination with ongoing observations of this thread, confirm to me that it is hopeless.

It is said that addicts cannot be told they have a problem. They cannot be told they are at rock bottom. Only the individual can come to sincerely recognize their problems, and that rock bottom is whenever they have decided that they're done digging. I think this is true of many addictive behaviours, whether they be substance abuse or psycho-social conditioning. It is clear that Connor is addicted to his secluded and risk-free lifestyle; he is addicted to his own cynical confirmation bias about the world around him. Like many lolcows before him, he refuses to accept responsibility for his actions and face the consequences of his failure.

Despite his petulant and self-serving behavior, I wish @Connor the best. He is missing out on the world one day at a time. I hope he can find happiness and satisfaction in his lifetime.

"It's better to have something to remember than anything to regret."
- Frank Zappa​
 
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I decide to make this to have fun here. Thank you Connor.
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If only there was a picture of Shinji flipping someone off, I be the happiest person in the world.
 
Connor said:
Well, what's in it for me, you fucking scumbag?
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And this folks is a prime example of why anyone who white knights Connor is a fool who is wasting his or her time. Connor doesn't want to improve any aspect of his life, that takes work which is apparently better spent fapping and shitposting on WrongPlanet. Connor wants everyone to ignore his personal, moral, and professional failings while simultaneously kissing his ass and praising him whenever he breaks wind.

Well guess what smart guy you mess with the bull and you get the horns. I would advise against antagonizing us further, but lets be honest you aren't smart enough to do the right thing and leave.
 
Chipmunk's Bounty said:
Maybe we should send Connor to tumblr so he can have his own personal hugbox too?
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Connor's too cis, white, and male for tumblr. Besides he already has Wrong Planet. Where all he has to do is cry "people are being mean to me just because I'm autistic!" and others will line up to demonize us.
 
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