🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

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Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 127 13.2%

  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.6%

  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 529 55.0%

  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 232 24.1%
  • Total voters
    961
Dogedamn, if only I could show Connor's posts to some people on another certain forum and ask them why is he undateable, the irony would be lost on 95% of them.
 
sikotik said:
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Still missing that certain something...
biblechurchsikliktotem.png
 
Cosmos said:
Modes of Connor aka EdgeBot2000 (in no particular order):
  • "I've changed guys, I've REALLY changed! I know it's been barely 48 hours, but I've reflected on what everyone's told me and I've turned over a new leaf! I even wrote 10 words today! PRAISE ME!!!"
  • "@Null, JUST NUKE MY ACCOUNT YOU GUTLESS MOTHERFUCKER!!"
  • "Why should I do anything when all I'll do is FAAAAAAAAIIIILLLLL????"
  • "Fuck you degenerate lowlifes, at least I don't waste all my time on this website. You're all pathetic trolls. I'll just kill myself, isn't that what you want? Just try me, motherfucker."
  • "NO BUT I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO HATE WOMEN BECAUSE THE GIRLS IN MY SCHOOL THOUGHT I WAS WEIRD FOR STALKING THIS GIRL AND DIDN'T WANT TO SUCK MY DICK. WOMEN ARE LITERALLY SCUM AND ONLY EXIST TO MAKE MY LIFE MISERABLE. ALSO FUCK ADOPTION."
  • "*insert creepy shit about bellybuttons and Molly Ringwald*"
  • "I've changed guys, I've REALLY changed! I know it's been barely 24 hours, but I've reflected on what everyone's told me and I've turned over a new leaf! I even wrote 12 words today! PRAISE ME!!!"
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Addendum:

  • That movie reference is irrelevant because of w, x, y and no one should aspire to be z.
  • Masturbation
  • Those posts were YEARS ago. Proceeds to post something nearly identical 10 minutes later.
  • So i'm supposed to settle for a typical life that 99% of the world had to live at one time?
 
Funny shoops aside the picture of Connor smiling is much better than his usual pouty mopey expressions. He should try smiling more often it might help him find some friends.
 
Handsome Pete said:
Buried in the darkest depths of my hard drive, I have three deeply shameful folders. One is dedicated to funny Chris-related content. One is for Deagle Nation. And the third is for general lolcow shenanigans (and corgi gifs) that were funny enough to save.

Thanks to @Smutley's tireless research, @BOLDYSPICY!'s art, and Connor's inability to recognize Nol in a wig, I now have a fourth folder.
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I too have a dark and terrible Kiwi Folder on my computer. It is filled with the reaction images I spam the Farms with.

Here's one summarizing my thoughts on Conner's last hissy fit:
1017531_1440894686181199_3115682228360904206_n.jpg
 
Self-hatred is useless. It can be useful to hate aspects of yourself, but if you hate yourself, where's the incentive to change? You have to like yourself enough to think that you're worth the effort of changing yourself into a better person.
 
Cosmos said:
Damn, @The Knife sounds like a fucking badass.
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A Hotdog said:
Guess you guys are edgelords in a different, More positive way then huh? :heart-full:
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I'm honestly not trying to be Edgelordy or a braggart. I'm just rubbing Connor's face in things he'll never have if he doesn't change, and honestly trying my best to piss him off.

I'm trying a new angle. They say the first step to training a mule is to hit him on the head with a 2x4.
 
>le see @Smutley 's post
>"Aww, Connor smiling can't be THAT bad. He might even look better when he smiles."
>le click spoiler tab
piplupgahhh.gif

no ferret.gif
 
The Knife's Husbando said:
I'm honestly not trying to be Edgelordy or a braggart. I'm just rubbing Connor's face in things he'll never have if he doesn't change, and honestly trying my best to piss him off.

I'm trying a new angle. They say the first step to training a mule is to hit him on the head with a 2x4.
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Cool. New plan. We'll good-cop, bad-cop him.

Bring lots of 2x4's, bro.
 
Smutley said:
I know he's dressed in this picture, but pretend he's shirtless and his skin is all wrinkly like a Shar-Pei. Try to contain your giggling
View attachment 16281
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Other than the Shar-Pei shirt, he doesn't look half-bad. He actually looks like a grown man in this picture. 5/10 might go straight for.

koyemshii said:
I think he's grounded from ts3.
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. . .by his mom, or?
 
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