🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

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Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 127 13.2%

  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.6%

  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 529 55.0%

  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 232 24.1%
  • Total voters
    961
I'm torn. I STILL want & hope for him to improve, against my better judgement, but his chimpouts also make me chuckle.
 
Connor, why do you hate women and minorities? Will you finally answer me now that I made this as obnoxious and attention-grabbing as possible?
 
Connor said:
Guess what? Even if I do log out for several months, the posts in this thread will still continue!
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WRONG, MOTHERFUCKER.

This isn't a "Damned if you do, damned if you don't" type deal.

You've been told OVER AND OVER what to do to get your life on track by people who have given you more patience than you honestly deserve. If you can prove to us that you're actually striving to do something with your life, we'd all happily take back much of what we said about you....

...and that I'd eat my expensive hat.
 
Cosmos said:
Connor, why do you hate women and minorities? Will you finally answer me now that I made this as obnoxious and attention-grabbing as possible?
Click to expand...
Because his mother's a whore who loves black dicks. Maybe that's why he's so angry all the time.
 
BOLDYSPICY! said:
I'm torn. I STILL want & hope for him to improve, against my better judgement, but his chimpouts also make me chuckle.
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smg5ds.jpg


I guess he didn't like the fact you want him to improve his life. :heart-empty:
 
I lurk this thread every now and then because it usually just makes me mad. I suppose I'll get this off of my chest.

@Connor , you and I have never talked personally for an extended period of time yet I can safely say that I despise you far more than I typically consider myself able to despise someone. I've never talked to you so I don't get why people do but they keep trying to help you. Maybe you have some kind of redeeming features when you aren't being a lazy, misogynistic, fetish obsessed, fungal dick having chronic masturbator, but lord knows I haven't fucking seen them.

The thing is though, they do keep trying to help you. The majority of posters here aren't laughing at you they're trying to encourage you to better yourself and you shit all over them like you're only capable of pessimistic diarrhea at all times.

I may not talk to many people here because I'm a bit introverted and have trouble starting that spark, but people know me I suppose. What they may not know is I care about them a lot, and I dislike seeing you continually upset and disappoint the people I'm fond of by throwing their kindness in their face with your self fulfilling prophecies. I'm a borderline pessimist, I don't think you're ever going to change but for some reason people are still trying so that says something. To me, it says much more about them than it does about you.

I guess what I'm trying to say is these wonderful people care about you, whereas personally I just think you're a miserable piece of shit who should fuck off and stop upsetting my friends.
 
BOLDYSPICY! said:
I'm torn. I STILL want & hope for him to improve, against my better judgement, but his chimpouts also make me chuckle.
Click to expand...

As @Hellblazer aptly pointed out, Connor made his bed and he has to lie in it. Intellectually, we all know he's never going to change. He's lazy as fuck, he has no follow through and he doesn't listen. Emotionally, we may want to see him succeed but it ain't gonna happen with him spending so much fucking time whining on the internet.
 
Connor you keep acting like were the ones at fault, do you even read the posts, or do you just see one word and think they are picking on me. God dammit Connor we do want you on here, we even let you join the bloody writing contest, how is that being mean?

It's getting more and more pathetic these little tempter tantrums of woo is me. Do you even understand why you have a lolcow thread, it's because of this behavior. It's sad to see because you are never going to grow or get friends this way, not ones that aren't going to use you in some way.

So you have to look inside yourself and say, do I want to become alone all my life? Do I want to have people use me?

But then again, if you did have people using you, it would probably make you whine even more about how people suck and whoo is me. So I'm just going to say this, keep doing what you're doing. And when you're ready to become a man, grow some fucking balls and be a nice and excepting person to criticism, then maybe some people will help you. But right now, you're not helping yourself and you are leading people to pick on you, so it's your behaviour that is provoking them, not the other way around.
 
Awww, poor wittle Connor, are da mean ol' Kiwi's sayin' nasty things to you? It's OK, sugarplum! I know the world is a big mean scary place. Writing is haaard, but you're so good at it, I know you'll be a great writer! And one day, Molly Ringwald will notice you and you can sex her belly button all you want!

Now, do you want Uncle MarineTrainedTard to get you some cookies and milk, tuck you in, and read you a bed time story?


Seriously, though, fuck you. Stop being such a big fucking whiny baby and fucking stop reading this thread (or any other thread on this site) and fucking do something with your life god fucking damn it.
 
Cosmos said:
Connor, why do you hate women and minorities? Will you finally answer me now that I made this as obnoxious and attention-grabbing as possible?
Click to expand...
Cosmos said:
Connor, why do you hate women and minorities? Will you finally answer me now that I made this as obnoxious and attention-grabbing as possible?
Click to expand...
Cosmos said:
Connor, why do you hate women and minorities? Will you finally answer me now that I made this as obnoxious and attention-grabbing as possible?
Click to expand...
Cosmos said:
Connor, why do you hate women and minorities? Will you finally answer me now that I made this as obnoxious and attention-grabbing as possible?
Click to expand...
Cosmos said:
Connor, why do you hate women and minorities? Will you finally answer me now that I made this as obnoxious and attention-grabbing as possible?
Click to expand...
Cosmos said:
Connor, why do you hate women and minorities? Will you finally answer me now that I made this as obnoxious and attention-grabbing as possible?
Click to expand...
Cosmos said:
Connor, why do you hate women and minorities? Will you finally answer me now that I made this as obnoxious and attention-grabbing as possible?
Click to expand...

Welp, guess we caused him sensory overload.
welp.PNG


EDIT: & apparently @Cosmos did it!
cosmos.PNG
 
Mr. @Connor, do you produce any content that is sexual in nature? Mr. Chandler drew Sonic the Hedgehog comics, and Mr. @Cowlick writes wrestling celebrity fanfiction or something. Mr. @Holden is obsessed with rape, so that schtick is taken already as well. Also, please use more ampersands.

Seriously, though, please come up with a more original "sell" than "I respond when people mock my responses, body type and sexual orientation."
 
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