🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

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Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 127 13.2%

  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.6%

  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 529 55.0%

  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 232 24.1%
  • Total voters
    961
Story Time, @Connor. I want you to read this and internalize it as best you can:

Do you know what I do for my current job? I primarily clean out the recycling machines at a grocery store. These are machines that any and all people use, and boy let me tell you, I have seen a LOT of kinds of people there. I have interacted with some of the nicest people ever, AND I have interacted with some of the most miserable excuses for people that you cannot even begin to imagine. I've had to deal with rude people, people who try to do things they're not allowed to do, I've had customer complaints about me because I literally would not help them break Oregon state's recycling laws, people who leave their FUCKING TRASH at the machines like it's the city dump, and I have to clean it all up. It's literally the job NO ONE ELSE wants to do at the store. And yet, I still have my job because I enjoy working with the people I do, and it earns me money to go to school with.

The moral is: Yes, there will be rude assholes in your life. The only thing you can do about it is to grin and bear it because these interactions with people are only momentary.
 
I dunno why I made this, but fuck it.

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I think @Connor must be some kind of personality vampire that absorbs a few traits from every lolcow that shows up here.

[E] Except Pad, that guy's chill as fuck.
 
Connor said:
So, people will hate me just because they can? People will hate me just because they need a punching bag? I'm expected to suck it up, be a doormat, and let them walk over me?
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No, Connor. People will hate you because you give them no reason to like you.
 
DrChristianTroy said:
I know it's been asked before but what are you looking for with this thread?
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I honestly don't fucking know. This shitstorm has gotten so intense that I am literally at my wit's end. I can't stop worrying about it, and I'm afraid that if I go for a job interview with a completed resume, I could be traced back to the Farms and shown the door.
 
Connor said:
I honestly don't fucking know. This shitstorm has gotten so intense that I am literally at my wit's end. I can't stop worrying about it, and I'm afraid that if I go for a job interview with a completed resume, I could be traced back to the Farms and shown the door.
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Just put in bold allcaps at the top of your resume "IGNORE ALL GOOGLE RESULTS." That'll work.
 
Connor said:
I honestly don't fucking know. This shitstorm has gotten so intense that I am literally at my wit's end. I can't stop worrying about it, and I'm afraid that if I go for a job interview with a completed resume, I could be traced back to the Farms and shown the door.
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Honest advice? Quit using the Internet. At the very least, quit posting on it. I don't mean that in a mean, A-logging way. No Facebook, no Twitter, no forums, etc.
 
Coster said:
Just put in bold allcaps at the top of your resume "IGNORE ALL GOOGLE RESULTS." That'll work.
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Along with "THERE'S LITERALLY NOTHING ABOUT ME ON THE INTERNET AND WHAT I MAY HAVE SAID AND DONE, LIKE DON'T EVEN BOTHER GOOGLING ME BRO."
 
Connor said:
I honestly don't fucking know. This shitstorm has gotten so intense that I am literally at my wit's end. I can't stop worrying about it, and I'm afraid that if I go for a job interview with a completed resume, I could be traced back to the Farms and shown the door.
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Unfortunately Connor, it would only be because things you have typed on your own accord. The Kiwis have just been trying to give you advice.
 
Connor said:
I honestly don't fucking know. This shitstorm has gotten so intense that I am literally at my wit's end. I can't stop worrying about it, and I'm afraid that if I go for a job interview with a completed resume, I could be traced back to the Farms and shown the door.
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You don't know until you get that job interview, buddy.
 
another thing-- @Connor, have you ever actually talked to someone about something other than yourself or your interests? i've never seen you post anything about someone else or an interest not directly involving you. some of the nice posters here have messaged you and you've never tried to talk to them about something else.

have you ever given a compliment to someone? have you ever made small talk?
 
Connor said:
I honestly don't fucking know. This shitstorm has gotten so intense that I am literally at my wit's end. I can't stop worrying about it, and I'm afraid that if I go for a job interview with a completed resume, I could be traced back to the Farms and shown the door.
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This "shitstorm" has gotten "intense" because of you though. We offer advice, you ignore/question it without anything to add and you are razzed. A constant loop with the occasional stress sigh. The fucked up part, this just provokes your victim complex, a complex you seem to wallow in. Instead of trying on the simplest shit, like a resume you apparently haven't finished, you just claim you're too weak and stress sigh.

As I said this seems on you and I'm sure you love it on a fucked up level.
 
Connor said:
I honestly don't fucking know. This shitstorm has gotten so intense that I am literally at my wit's end. I can't stop worrying about it, and I'm afraid that if I go for a job interview with a completed resume, I could be traced back to the Farms and shown the door.
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Connor, that wouldn't be a possibility if you weren't such a dick. Do you see this entire thread? this 100+ pages thread? This because you are a horrible person who refuses to change. This is your fault.
 
Connor said:
Yeah, but how do I keep in touch with my friends from school without Facebook?
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What friends? You apparently either have none, or they've all stabbed you in the back, or you only have one "retarded" one you're forced to be friends with.

Seriously man, pick a story.
 
Connor said:
I honestly don't fucking know. This shitstorm has gotten so intense that I am literally at my wit's end. I can't stop worrying about it, and I'm afraid that if I go for a job interview with a completed resume, I could be traced back to the Farms and shown the door.
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Moral of the story?

DON'T POST YOUR FULL NAME ON THE SODDING INTERNET.

You know, I never usually use all-caps this much. Just you.
 
Connor said:
I honestly don't fucking know. This shitstorm has gotten so intense that I am literally at my wit's end. I can't stop worrying about it, and I'm afraid that if I go for a job interview with a completed resume, I could be traced back to the Farms and shown the door.
Click to expand...

well uh why do you use your real name everywhere
 
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