We are not your therapists. We can't work you through all your neurotic fears, but you're young as shit and failing every once in a while is perfectly okay.
Dude, none of us were pulled full-grown from the thigh of Zeus as the glorious accomplished beings we are. We went out and fucked up and spent too much money and got in over our heads and eventually we stumbled into something we didn't completely fuck up. And then we did that thing again and again until we were moderately good at it. And then--and this is the important part--we never talked about our past fuck-ups on our resumes.
You're starting to sound like Penny from My 600 lb. Life. Everyone is trying to help you and all you do is come up with excuses why you won't try and why it's not your fault, and to top it all off you act like a cock about it. People are like "if you want to accomplish anything you have to actually do a thing" and you're all "OH, WHAT, SO NOW YOU EXPECT ME TO TRY?!"
I'm not gonna try to up my power level, but dude. I am physically disabled and still commute 3-4 hours daily to make it to class Monday through Friday.
Life is supposed to be challenging. People are supposed to find things difficult, rise to the occasion and sink or swim. You will accomplish nothing in your life by constantly feeling sorry for yourself or coming here for validation.
Compared to a shit ton of people, you have it easy. You're just being incredibly lazy. The good shit in life takes work and dedication.